I wrote this a few days ago thinking I’d post it once I took the weekly picture, but this weekend was too busy and we didn’t get to take it, so this post is photo-free.
How far along? 13 weeks 5 days (5-19-17) Second Trimester! YAY!
Symptoms?
- A little bit of swelling in my feet at the end of the day. Nothing major.
- Lightheaded when standing sometimes. My OB said to try eating more foods with sodium and to drink more water and to try gatoraid. I’ve had this in all my pregnancies. I’ll get really lightheaded and nauseous and if I don’t sit down, I will black out. It seems to get better as the pregnancy progresses usually. Today I ended up folded over the checkout counter waiting for the cashier to finish my order.
- I only took Zofran twice this week! The rest of the time I’ve felt pretty normal.
- Even my acne is starting to clear up! True second-trimester blessings. 🙂
- I have most of my energy back and I feel pretty close to my normal self most of the time.
- I dropped down to just 1 Prometrium at bedtime this week and I plan to be done when my bottle runs out. 🙂 Might as well finish it up.
Weight? +7 lbs.
Bump? I’ve thought that maybe there was a flutter or two this week but I can’t say for sure. I do know that my uterus is only an inch or two under my belly button now but I mostly still find the baby really low on the doppler but I hear it’s kicks higher up. Maybe it’s head down?
Cravings/aversions? Nothing really either way. I’ve had a few iced frappes this week and they were goooood! The thought of hot coffee still grosses me out but me and cold coffee are friends again. 🙂
RANT TIME: So, I had a check-up with my OB this week and it went well. TMI: I told her about some weird discharge I was having and she did an internal and a swab. Seems this may be normal this time around even though I never had this with the boys. She said because of a prior “natural” birth. Anyway, she said she read the entire report from my birth with Levi and you won’t believe this…. The Dr who delivered him and wrote up the report said that the reason I hemorrhaged was my “uterus was tired and stopped contracting”. WHAT?????? There was 7 of my family members in the room. My mom, DH, MIL, SIL, 2 of my sisters and myself. We ALLLLLL know I had retained placenta. TALK ABOUT COVERING YOUR BUTT WITH A LIE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!! That Dr knew she should have stopped pulling on the cord when I told her to please stop and she knew she tore my placenta. To blame it on my lazy, “tired uterus” and apparently not mention the placenta at all, is just…. wow!
So, I sat there in shock when my new OB told me the report said this and that she would give me medicine to prevent a hemorrhage this time, and I didn’t even stand up for myself and tell her that was a big fat lie in the report. I just couldn’t form the words at that time. Not like she would believe me over the report written by an MFM…. Like she would even think I knew what I was talking about. But I do know. I’m the one who had 2 Drs scraping my insides with their hands trying to fish out bits of placenta. I’m the one who lost so much blood I couldn’t hold my eyes open. I know. And my family knows. DH and my mom were both upset that I didn’t tell her “NO! That is not what happened.” I just couldn’t and I didn’t and I wish I had. Not like it would do any good though… I’m just letting it go for now but if the opportunity arises, I will say something.
As an aside though, I’d rather just forgive that Dr and pray for her and move on. Harboring anger would only put a cloud over what was otherwise, a beautiful experience, getting to meet my little Levi. Could it have gone better? Almost definitely, yes. But it’s all part of the story and he was brought here safe and healthy and I’m safe and healthy and that’s what matters.
RANT OVER.
The rest of the appointment went well. We heard the baby on the doppler kicking all around and the Dr was super happy because “healthy babies kick”. I really do like this OB. She is reassuring while also hearing me out on my concerns. I told her about my worries about my cervix possibly being torn with Levi’s birth and she said she wanted me to let that worry go as much as possible. She really thought it would be ok. We set up the Anatomy scan for 18 weeks 3 days, so we should definitely know who is in there by then. 🙂 AND, I keep dropping hints at DH about how much I’d love a 4d ultrasound this time. I didn’t even know about them until recently and I know the 3d was awesome when the tech gave us a peak with Tru and Levi, so 4d has to be even better, right? DH said we could do that for our anniversary gift to ourselves. I called the place (we have one locally now!! yay!) and they said after 24 weeks is best. So it’s still a ways off before we can do it, if we get to. But I think it would be really fun. 🙂 The local place is way cheaper than the big city places. Only $99 for a 1-hour slot (to give you time in case baby is in a bad position or something). I don’t know if you get a dvd but I’d imagine so. 🙂
Dear God, thank You for the good check-up this week and for me feeling better and being able to enjoy this pregnancy more. Thank You for all the little kicks and wiggles on the doppler. Please continue to bless this pregnancy and protect the baby. In Jesus’ name, amen.
No mut seriously, you need to tell the OB the truth and if she doesn’t believe you then you need to find a new one. You are a former abuse victim and you have the mentality that no one will believe you and that your truth–your pain–is not important enough to warrant sharing. You are protecting your abuser–in this case, the MFM, because that is what you were trained to do.
STOP. Your truth is important! Your pain is real! You were traumatized. And it doesn’t matter if you had 10 witnesses–it is enough that YOU say this happened. You don’t need to feel afraid of being called a liar by this OB, because you can walk out the door. You are an adult and you don’t have to cover up for your abuser MFM or see an OB that wouldnt acknowledge what happened to you.
Sure, pray for this abusive MFM but don’t let the lie stand with this OB. And therapy. Because “being Christian” does not mean letting people get away with abusing you and then lying about it. Forgive them, sure, but stand up and tell your truth. Bring husband or mom to next appointment for support. XOXO
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I know that you are right. I know I need to tell her. And she’s very nice and she’ll probably listen politely. She might not believe me (because she has huge respect for the mfm clinic) but I should give her the chance at least. My mom offered to go with me and tell the Dr what she witnessed. Regardless, like you said, the fact that I know what happened is enough and if she’s truly a good Dr, she will hear me out and respect what I’m telling her is true.
The sad thing is, DH was so worried that I would let that mfm bully me during labor and birth and even though I tried to stand up for myself (“Let my body do it!!”) the Dr still didn’t listen. So DH will be vigilant this time if I go vbac again!!
Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it. 🙂
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I agree about telling your doctor. I’m a very meek person and understand why you’d shy away from bringing it up now but you really should do it. Knowing you’ve gone through that will give her another piece to the puzzle of why you’re so nervous about this pregnancy. It’s not some attention grabbing behavior, but real and scary circumstances you’ve been through.
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Thank you. It means a lot that you said that. I will try to be brave and tell her. My next appointment is with someone else so it gives me lots of time to decide what to say. My mom offered to go with me and share what she witnessed. I don’t know if I’ll have her do that or not but either way, I know I have to say something.
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Glad to hear baby is healthy and kicking away hehe.
I always get upset when i hear your birthing story, i am sorry you faced so much ugh. And that also after infertility. ❤😗
I think you should tell ur OB about the event and make sure she is not a backer and someone who would do a similar thing. 😖
I hope you have a lovely delivery experience this go. And i hope the 4D scan makes you very happy, you deserve it. ❤❤
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Thank you for the support. I definitely don’t think this Dr would do that but I know you are right and I will have to tell her the real story before the birth. It was unacceptable. But please don’t be sad about my experience… because overall, I had a good birth up until then.
I’m really excited about the 4d. Probably won’t go until end of July or early August so we can get the best picture. 🙂
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Next time you meet with the OB, I would just say, ” I was so shocked by what the report said, that I could find the words at the time to tell you what really happened.” I bet she will believe you. Dr’s don’t always back another one up just because it’s a fellow dr. Thank God for that!
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Thank you. 🙂 I know that she respects the mfm clinic but I think (hope!!) she also respects her patients enough to believe what they are telling her. My offered to go with and tell the Dr what she witnessed. I don’t know if I will have her go with me or not but it might be a good idea.
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That’s a great post (minus your old medical records 😡). I’m so glad to hear the nausea seems to have let up– I’ll look (hopefully) to that in a few weeks myself! As far as those records, I would def mention something to the dr, if it comes up or not. It may be something she would like to be aware of in case something like that could happen again? Just a thought
But yay, congrats!
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I sure hope the nausea let’s up for you soon!! It’s still there for me, but less sick and more just queasy. And not alllllll the time like it was. 🙂
I thought the same thing… what if that Dr is doing that to other patients? I know I need to tell my Dr and I do plan to next time I have an appointment with her. My next appointment is with someone else though. At least it gives me time to think of what I’ll say when I tell her.
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Also, what’s your discharge been like? I’m curious because I’ve been sort of questioning mine, too 🙄
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It’s basically ewcm. Which bothers me because it reminds me of passing my mucus plug….. I’m still uneasy about it and I hope it’s just normal for someone who’s had a prior vaginal birth… all i had in my previous pregnancies was that weird leukorrhea stuff.
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I would think ewcm would be completely normal. I have a bunch of milky discharge, which does sound like leukorrhea (completely forgot about the term so I had to google it!). If the dr isn’t worried, I wouldn’t be either.. they are def the pros when it comes to cm! ☺️
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