Archives for the month of: February, 2014

    At the risk of sounding like I’m a complete postpartum wreck, can I just say that this degree of hairloss has caught me completely by suprise?! Here is a gross picture of how much hair I lost a few days ago in the shower.


No, I wasn’t trying to write numbers with my hair.
I have to literally pick all the hair off of my body that has rinsed off of my head during the shower before I can get out. Its all wrapping around everywhere. It feels so gross! Is this an abnormal amount? I get at least this much every day in the shower for a month now (Started at 4 months postpartum) and my hairbrush is full every time I brush. I have this trail of loose hair falling out behind me everywhere I go.
      I remember a few years ago reading about this lady who lost all or most of her hair after having her baby and I thought “Its worth it though for her cute baby.” And it totally is. Even if I go bald. I actually have 2 almost bare spots now around my temples. 


Exibit A
That being said…. I told someone about this yesterday and they felt the need to remind me that all kinds of infertile women would love to have my problems if they could just have a baby. Excuse me? Hold it right there! I’m the last person that you need to go preaching to about how infertile people feel about my problems. Just because my infertile self and all the other infertile couples would love to be going bald and having anxiety attacks if they could just have a baby, does not mean that I’m not going to freak out a tiny bit when I am unraveling my fallen hairs from my baby’s pacifier. Ok? Thank you. I would definitely take having Truett over having hair but do I really need to choose?
      Sorry about that little rabbit trail. Anyway. What is your experience with postpartum alopecia? How long does it last? How bald will I get? Thanks for reading .




       This week has been very fast! Not a lot of new stuff going on with Tru. Sleep was a little better then the last 2 mornings were a little worse. This morning Tru talked to his pacifier for a few hours! Its kind of cute, kind of funny, kind of annoying. But only annoying because I’m so tired after dealing with insomnia all night. 😦 I don’t know why I have insomnia when I’m so darn tired!! Tru pretty much says “ah, gooy gooy gooy gooy” over and over to his pacifier while its in his mouth. Sometimes he takes it out and holds it to talk. Sometimes he holds onto his feet in front of his face and talks. Mostly, a lot of talking going on. But he doesnt talk as much during the day as he used to. That kind of confuses me….


      We went for several walks over the last week with Tru in his stroller. He loves it! He’s asleep in no time and I feel refreshed by the excersize and fresh air. If only the weather would cooperate! Today the temperature outside “felt like” 9° fahrenheit. This after it being in the 60’s over the weekend. So, we are stuck inside again. 😦 I called my family dr today and asked for a script for Zoloft. Of course she wants to see me tomorrow. Regardless of if my anxiety/depression is a result of postpartum hormone changes or just this longest ever, stupid cold, ugly, shut in winter we are having, I just want to be better so I can climb out of this fog and enjoy being a mother. Its no fair being depressed when there’s a cute baby in the house! No fair at all! I am planning to go back to my part time cleaning jobs I did pre-pregnancy and I think being out of the house a few times a week is key for me. Being gone full time would be more upsetting to me but I think a couple days a week is nice. So…


    Tru went poop on the potty chair yesterday. I know its not for everyone, but I’m kind of a big fan of the early potty training method. I have no idea what its called but basically you make the association in the baby’s mind between peeing or pooping and a certain sound. Then when they hear that sound while sitting on the toilet, of course they think about going. And he did. 🙂 It was only the second time I put him on the toilet. The first time, I felt like he was too young and it would be too messy so I waited longer. Now that he’s on rice cereal, its a lot more containable. 😉 So, I was changing his diaper and he started to get that grunt face and whatnot so I put him on the toilet and told him what I always tell him when I catch him pooping (poopings!!) and he smiled, did his business, smiled some more and that was that. Now whether this continues or not I really have no idea. I can’t always catch him pooping and I’m not about to try tackling pee just yet. But really, its not natural to sit in ones own poo and babies hate it. So, we’ll see.
       Tru is still loving the rice cereal about once a day. Some days twice. He usually has a breakfast boobie, lunch boobie, snack boobie and cereal, supper boobie, snack boobie, bedtime top off boobie, middle of the night boobie and early morning boobie. …. Its a lot of boob. It really seems like so little compared to nursing every 1-2 hours! I sure don’t mind the snuggle time with him.

       I need to go pretend I’ve been busy all day (well, I have with the baby but the house doesn’t look any better) before DH gets home. Blessings everyone. And cold… you can just leave! Take the brown, muddy grass with you.


       Dear God, thank You for this beautiful little baby You have blessed me with. I ask that You will help me to feel better soon so I can enjoy him and take the best possible care of him. Please protect him from all harm and keep him healthy this winter. In Jesus’ name, amen.

     I originally thought this update would be like – “No sleep. Losing my mind. The end.” but I *think* we are getting that figured out finally. A week of only sleeping 3-5 hours of pieced together sleep, often while Tru talked to himself in his co-sleeper. I was feeling very much like we had reverted to the newborn days. It was that same, mindless, forgetfull, burning eyeballs tired. Tru was quite cranky too from the lack of sleep. Not only was he up most of the night, but he also decided to forgo naps as well. He’s still not back to normal, but he did a little better the last few nights. I hope I’m not jinxing us…. Anyway, I found out that he is appearently not comfortable on his back for the whole night and he wants to sleep on his belly too! However, because he trys to sleep face down with his nose in the bed and give me a panic attack, we had to compromise and go for the side. Which he rolls onto his back from over and over and gets woken up by. So I’ve spent the last few nights turning him back onto his side every so often when he wakes. But it beats staying up 3 hours talking to his toes!! Although his toes are remarkably adorable if I do say so. 😉
       Rice cereal is still happening. Usually once a day, sometimes twice. We tried oatmeal cereal twice and Tru loved it but I got nervous and decided to wait. I was told that oatmeal was more of an allergy threat but to be honest, I think he is probably ready for it. He absolutely LOVES his cereal and I love feeding him. Win, win.
     Over the last few weeks Tru has really started holding onto objects and reaching for them with open hands. He used to only reach with his fists clenched. Everything goes straight in his mouth. If it doesn’t make it in, fussing ensues. He still likes the playmat, walker, occasionally the swing and the stroller! The last 2 days its been warm enough for walks and Tru has been quite happy with that.
     This evening Tru was playing on his belly and he started putting his knee up and getting his butt in the air. DH called for me to come see “Tru’s crawling!!” Well, maybe not quite, but he’s certainly thinking about it. 🙂
       He has also started sucking his thumb. This came out of nowhere. I kept hearing slurping in the night and eventually I rolled over one morning to see him peacefully sucking away on his thumb. So cute!! 🙂 Which is another reason he isn’t happy on his back I think. His thumb falls out of his mouth that way. So pacifiers are more of a chew toy during the day. But the wubanub is still his best friend. He holds it all the time and chews all over it.
      I finally decided my PPD or crazy winter blues was unacceptable. I started taking St. John’s Wart herb pills to combat it. Its safe for breastfeeding and proven to be nearly as effective at treating mild depression as prescription antidepressants. I’m on day 3. If it doesn’t help, I will probably try Zoloft. Its weird though. Its more anxiety than anything. I never understood how anyone could be depressed with a cute baby in the house, but its nothing to do with him at all. Its just a hormonal, chemical imbalance thing. Not fear of motherhood or feeling overwhelmed or regretfull. Not that those feelings are wrong but for me its just an irrational anxiety about totally ridiculous things and I don’t want to spend all my time worried while I have Truett to enjoy and care for. We can’t get this time back. I don’t want this to rob me of these moments.
      I don’t have my SD card available at the moment so I will try to post pictures later. Sorry! 😉
      Dear God, please watch over Tru and protect him. Please help me and his daddy to be healthy so we can take good care of him. Thank You for these days. I ask that we will all enjoy these days and not spend them on needless worries. In Jesus’ name, amen.


Continuing with our hate of snow….


Never thought of it that way. Hahaha!


Where I’m from, all the deer think this.


So true!! 😉


Yeah I’ve been the victim too often.


Of course!


Hehe. Need to teach DH this. 😉


But still cute…


I know! Enough with the duck face selfies already. 


Oh my! Yeah. Definitely check that homework.


I wish!


I really have to agree wholeheartedly with this.




Every night.


This drives me nuts!!


I would love to see this while driving!


Man, I wouldn’t put it past them around here.


Have a good weekend everybody! 🙂

    I swear if not for this blog, I would lose track entirely of how old Truett is. The time just goes so fast!
     I realize I have been very remiss in my picture posting with these weekly updates lately, but I promise its not on purpose or to torture you. I will try to remedy the situation today considering that the only reason some of you are reading this anymore is for the pictures of Tru. I love you too.
      So, as I posted about yesterday, Tru is eating rice cereal now. He had some again today and he can’t seem to get enough. Its pretty cute really. 🙂
      Sleep has been interesting the last few weeks… Not really. Its not interesting. Its just not happening as much! Mom said its because life is suddenly exciting for Tru since he can do so much more stuff now, so he doesn’t want to waste time sleeping. I must agree. Hes been waking up around 4:30-6:30 and wanting to play. In the complete dark. Talking, grabbing his feet, being quite alert and happy. Its so cute! But I’m soooo tired. It takes him sometimes 2 hours before he falls back to sleep. In the meantime, I keep it dark, I try to stay as quiet as I can so he won’t know I’m awake and I nurse him every so often to see if it will lull him to sleep. I also try holding him. I just have to keep experimenting to see what works because 4:30 is definitely too early to have him up for the day and he fusses all day long if he gets up before 10am. I know it seems late but since he’s a horrible napper, meaning he hardly naps at all even in my arms, he has to get his sleep sometime!! I think he will outgrow this phase though as he was a perfect sleeper up until the last few weeks. This week in particular.
      Aside from all that, he’s starting to really like his walker. Especially these little round balls attached to one of the toys. He obviously thinks they are nurples as he holds the toy and sucks on them. We get a real laugh out of watching him although the fact that he’s sucking on it does make me a tad nervous. DH says they can’t pop off but I’m a mom. I worry.
     I’ve given up pumping except for a few times a week if I feel too full. I have been nursing Tru so much extra for comfort with his teething fussiness or whatever it is, that for a few days I was waking up way too full. But right now pumping is the one thing too many. It takes it out of me. Literally. 😉
      Now for the promised pictures. The “eat my feet” edition.


My feet! Oh, I love my feet!


I especially like them when they’re bare so I can eat them.


Its so annoying when mom and dad put these things on my feet and I can’t get them.


If I could just eat my feet, I wouldn’t need baby food.


I’m too tired to get them but they’re looking good.


Mom hid my feet entirely now! I’m going to do a blowout to get back at her. 😉



Do you see the little fuzzy hairs I’m growing now? Mom thinks they’re too adorable.





I’ll get the newspaper in one hand and my foot in the other…


I grab mom’s face and then I kiss her.

Dear God, please watch over Tru as he continues to grow and become more mobile. Please keep him safe and healthy. Thank You for all the new things he’s learning to do and all the growing he’s doing. In Jesus’ name, amen

     I caved. I admit I’m weak! Despite my fervent desire to exclusively breastfeed until 6 months before starting rice cereal, Truett enjoyed a little evening meal. DH picked up a box of rice baby cereal on his way home. My baby is all growed up now!
     I know that “they” recommend not introducing solids until 6 months of age and I vowed wholeheartedly that no baby food would touch my baby’s tongue until he had completed every bit of growing to 24 weeks. That was before he was grabbing food from me when I eat with him on my lap. And it was before he would stare with eyes as big as saucers at my water glass. His little mouth open, his little hands reaching out whilst making little baby grunting sounds trying to grab the glass and pull it to his mouth. When we would allow him a sip of water, he couldn’t get enough and would keep staring at the glass when we took it away.
      It doesn’t seem like he’s actually hungry necessarily. As long as he nurses every two hours he seems full. Yet he’s not staying satisfied for long enough periods. He can’t go long at night. He’s trying to eat the world – especially his toes. And its not just teething. I guess the time just came that he needed more substantial food. So this evening, through bittersweet fake crying, I mixed up a little breastmilk with cereal and Daddy gave Tru his first bite. As soon as he got past the initial “what!” factor, he was totally sold on this yummy stuff. His little mouth opening like a baby bird. At 18.4 weeks, Tru is eating baby food. (Daddy did slip him a pea sized bite of yogurt last week. Not making me happy!! Definitely don’t want Tru on dairy quite yet.)
     I do intend to stick to breastfeeding and the rice cereal until 6 months, but who knows. This kid is a pretty fair sized guy (particularly his noggin) so we will just have to play it by ear on when we start the next foods.
    Wow. I didn’t know feeding him baby food would effect me like this. I feel so sad/happy. Its stupid of me really. He’s just growing up so fast!!!
     I tried 4 times to make breastmilk yogurt. (Sounds gross, I know.) Appearently, many moms have great success with that. I’m not one of them. My cow milk yogurt turns out thick and creamy and perfect but the breastmilk doesn’t which is so disapointing to me but oh well… its not meant to be. Cool idea though!
     Weigh in btdt moms. When did you start rice cereal? How soon afterwards did you start stage 1 baby purees?

Thank you to Twin Mom Life and Plan Y for the Liebster Blog Award Nomination. Sorry it took me so long to get this posted!
From what I understand, I’m supposed to answer these 10 questions Twin Mom Life asked, nominate a few friends of my own and ask them 10 questions. And on and on into infinity. 🙂

So here are my answers.

1. In which country/state do you live?  What is one positive and one negative about your state?

Ohio. Good old bipolar weather Ohio. The good thing about Ohio is the weather! And the bad thing about Ohio is the weather.
2. What brought you to the blogging world?  Has your blogging changed course at any point in time?

I started my blog in early 2013 because I was wanting to journal my second IVF and my journey through infertility. I regret that I have no documentation of my thoughts and feelings during my first IVF. My blog did change a lot over time as I progressed through IVF to pregnancy and now motherhood. I didn’t know at the time that one day it would be a mommy blog. 🙂 I hoped!!

3. What is your favorite baby and/or pregnancy and/or comfort item?

For pregnancy, definitely my Doppler. For baby, the boppy pillow has been awesome for breastfeeding. For just general comfort, big, saggy baggy, worn out tshirt and yoga pants or shorts. But ONLY at home. 😉

4. What was the highlight of your 2013?

There were 2 highlights really. Getting that first positive beta, and giving birth to our little Tru.

5. What is your big goal for 2014?

Working more on my relationship with God. And of course, being a good mommy to Tru and a good wife are also high priorities.

6. You’re stuck in major traffic.  What are you listening to for stress relief?

I don’t usually like to listen to music much while I’m driving and especially if I’m in traffic because I’m so easily distracted. But, I dearly love love love TobyMac and DCTalk.

7. What’s your idea of a great date night?

Going up to town for dinner ANYWHERE as long as I’m not cooking ;), getting a Redbox movie (usually a family/kids movie – don’t judge), coming home and laying on the couch with DH to watch the movie and then getting a full body massage. This almost never happens… just to be clear.

8. Is your blog anonymous or do you tell your friends & family in the real world about it?

There are a VERY few select people IRL that follow my blog. I love you guys! But as a general rule, I don’t like to be very specific about names or places on here. This is the first time I admitted to living in Ohio and its freaking me out.

9. Who is your hero?

Jesus. I cant imagine anyone more heroic than Someone who would die to pay the debt for the sin of the entire world and then live again just 3 days later and live forever. And He loves me… loves me enough that even if I were the only one, He would have still died to save me. Its incredible really. There is no one else like my Jesus.

10. What’s a topic you’ve been wanting to write about but just haven’t had the time, or weren’t sure how to write it or if it was “appropriate”?

So many things…. sorry for being so lame in my answer. 😉

Now for my nominees… If you’ve already been nominated and I overlooked it somehow, feel free to still answer my questions. Cause I’m nosy.
Dogs Aren’t Kids
Hungry For Motherhood
In Quest of a Binky Moongee
Life on the Rocks
The Baby Doctor’s Wife
Starting Our Family
A Calm Persistence

My questions to you:
1. Where is your favorite vacation spot and why?
2. Where did you meet your spouse/SO and how old were you?
3. What is your all time favorite comfort food(s)/drinks(s)?
4. What is your best childhood memory?
5. Its a beautiful sunny day and you wake up with nothing on your schedule. What do you do?
6. How long have you been blogging and how many blogs do you follow?
7. Who has made the biggest positive impact on your life? Why?
8. What is your perfect at-home weekend?
9. What is your favorite genre of music?
10. Make up your own question because I’m too lazy. Thanks!


Yeah really. Why? Moving!!!





That poor snowman!



Moving on now …


This makes me laugh way harder than necessary.


Barren Betty. This ones for you!


Why do cats always do that?



How heartwarming! Awww. 🙂



No matter what I do I can’t seem to shut myself up once I get started down that path.


Oh nasty!!!


Hahaha! They were probably on Lupron.


What is this world coming to?






I find this so interesting. Now I’m wondering what other critters would look like. Such as my dog…





One more for the “I hate winter” theme.

    I don’t really have time for much of an update. This is going to be quick.
    I don’t know where my sweet happy little boy went. This last week and a half has been miserable for all of us. Truett seems to be cutting teeth and he is not at all happy about it. It makes me sad to see him in so much pain. Its pretty much an all day cry fest. He doesn’t want to jabber or coo. Smiles are far and few between. Its difficult to distract him from the discomfort for even a few minutes and its really a shame. He was just starting to enjoy new toys like his walker but now he wants nothing to do with it. Positively nothing helps. The swing is the only thing that will lull him to sleep for a few minutes. But even in his sleep he lets out little wimpers of pain. He’s done a lot of comfort nursing which he really never did before. He’s only on there a few minutes at a time though because appearently that’s not too comfortable either. I hope these teeth pop through soon and give him some relief.
     Tru had his 4 month checkup this week. He is 15.6lbs now. 50th percentile for weight. 25.5″ long in the 60th percentile. 42.5cm head circumference in the 80th percentile. 😉 Big head. Cause we tell him he’s cute too much I guess. The pediatrician said to start him at any time on rice cereal followed by vegetables and fruits a week later or, if we prefer, to breastfeed to 6mo. DH and I both want to wait right now as long as Tru isn’t acting hungry. We want to minimize the risk of food allergies. But I am trying to make breastmilk yogurt to feed him in the meantime. That’s a whole other post. I will try to type that story up pronto.
         Dear God, please help little Tru to feel better now while he’s cutting his teeth. I pray that you will help them to come through without too much pain so he can be a happy, healthy baby again. Please help us to make good parenting decisions with him and to do our very best raising him according to Your will. In Jesus’ name, amen.

       I remembered this post I had in my drafts. I had started it 4 days before I had Truett but never finished it. I’m just going to go ahead and publish it so it will be saved. It’s not much more than the late night ramblings of a pregnant brain but its my memories and they mean a lot to me. Too bad I didn’t finish it….

The last month of pregnancy is so interesting. I thought maybe I should do a little pregnancy recap. Not that its nessassary but this blog has served as my pregnancy journal and I’ve only been documenting the highlights. I will probably end up forgetting a lot of things. My memory is good like that.
       Its been fun. A friend asked the other day if its been all I imagined it would be. Actually, no. Its been different. Better even. More full of worry. (I thought I would be a laid-back pregnant person. Ha!! Well maybe if it hadn’t been for the journey leading up to here!) But, also more full of joy and precious memories. Lots of firsts. Maybe firsts and lasts… time will tell. I’m kind of nostalgic at this point about the whole experience. Ready for this pregnancy to come to a joyous, beautiful end with my sweet baby boy in my arms and yet, almost unwilling to let it go already. I’ll miss being pregnant. I really, really, really will.
      The shots – When I found out that daily shots would be the norm not just for our IVF but for the whole pregnancy, I was perfectly fine with the idea. I’m strong. I can handle that. And I have, very well thank you! I don’t even know how my brain will react to no longer taking them. I’ll probably feel like I’m forgetting something for quite awhile. Its been part of my daily and sometimes twice daily routine for so long! I started shots for ivf #1 last October and in that entire time I haven’t been without them much longer than a month altogether. But, I made the switch to heparin from lovenox this week and I had a “I can’t do this anymore!” moment. I had syringes leftover from my lupron days and since my Dr forgot to order me syringes for my heparin shots, I had to use my leftovers. They were too small for my dose (75units) so I was having to use 2 syringes at a time, 2 times a day. 4 shots of heparin equal 4 bruises and a very scary tummy. I was sitting on the couch trying to get the plunger to push in while talking to my dad and I got very weak suddenly. I could hardly talk above a whisper as I called DH over to help push the plunger in. There was blood coming from 4 areas I had tried injecting. I sat on the couch for an hour after that and cried. I’m not sure why. I don’t think it was from the shots really but just being emotional. I’m fine now and my belly is healing. I’m thankful that these medicines are available to help people like me during pregnancy. Very, very thankful. I’m ready to not have to poke myself everyday, but its been well worth it and I would do it every day forever if I needed to for this baby.
        The ultrasounds – I’ve lost count how many we’ve had. Around 20 I think give or take a few. Its been amazing to watch this baby’s development so closely. Absolutely a miracle to witness. I’ll miss that to. Getting to see somebody growing inside me. Such a gift! And I have his growth so well documented with all the pictures although I don’t have pictures from every single ultrasound. To think that not all that long ago ultrasound didn’t exist! In some ways its caused anxiety as we know things we wouldn’t otherwise (like the low fluid thing) that turned out to be stuff we didn’t need to worry about at that particular time. But so great to know we are keeping an eye out for potential problems and hopefully would be able to act before any problem got out of hand. Its just such a gift to witness the development of this baby throughout the months.
        Stretch marks – Mom calls them beauty marks. I have to agree. I wouldn’t like them if they came just from me getting fat, but because they came from growing this little boy, they are beautiful. My butt cheeks look like somebody dropped a plate of purple spaghetti noodles on them, the stretch marks are so extensive. Ok, they really aren’t quite that bad…. but getting there. The bbs are getting them too now. The belly? Well, if you could somehow look past the bruises, I think we are actually belly stretch mark free! Weird right? My belly button looks like a temporary tattoo at this point its pulled so tight but I don’t think we are getting any marks.
      The sleep – The what? Its 12:03am folks! In the beginning, I slept better than I had in my whole life. Really, really well. I’m usually an insomniac even from my early childhood so I was impressed and pleased at how drugged pregnancy made me feel. It was like the worlds best sleeping pill (which don’t work for me). Now, not so much but still better than non pregnant me.

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