Archives for the month of: November, 2016

I have certainly made it no secret that I’m not a fan of the cold and winter. And the fact that I find 5 months of cold, static, chapped lips and coats to be a tad depressing isn’t news to anyone. So I’ve been thinking, maybe this winter I’ll take the opportunity to hop on over to somewhere warmer for a few days and refresh my spirit. Maybe a long weekend. I get that it’s expensive to travel and all that but I’m a pretty avid collector of credit card travel points and even though my sensible side begs me to save my points for longer and more exciting travel, my sanity is really basking in the idea of escaping the cold for a few days. Maybe I won’t actually get to do it but I sure feel perkier already just thinking about it! â€‹

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I am in full food-prep mode right now. We have 3 places to go over the next 3 days and I have lots of food to take. Sweet potato cassarole x3, pumpkin pies, deviled eggs, green beans and I’m not sure what else I’ll need to make to take over to my grandma’s. I really love Thanksgiving. Even more than Christmas. 🙂 I realized today how “thankful” I am this year for Thanksgiving Day. The distraction of being with family and the prep that is involved has really helped to take my mind off things that are causing me stress right now and just focus on how blessed I am with my friends and family and for all the blessings that we have had this year. 

Thanksgiving Day is a very bittersweet day for me anyway. It was on Thanksgiving Day 4 years ago that I had my first embryo transfer and that day will always be special to me. Yes, that IVF failed but it was the first time that I knew I had life inside me and it was amazing! 

I hope that however you spend Thanksgiving this year that you have a very blessed and special day. Take time to thank God for the people around you. Even those relatives that you don’t really like that much. 😉 Eat lots of food and enjoy yourselves but don’t forget why you have that food and why you have the great freedom and privilege to be sitting there with your loved ones. God’s greatest blessing to all of you folks. 

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And now for a quickish and boring BFN update to those who care to read it. 

Since I am now CD39…. 20-21dpo according to my estimates – a week late, I called to talk to the nurse and she said we should do a beta test. I felt kind of silly because I haven’t had any positive pee tests and because I think the (likely) cyst is what is causing the delay. Naturally, the beta came back at less than 1. I have an appointment Monday with the RE. I’m sure he will wonder what I am doing there when I am not ready to try ART again yet but the fact is, we have been not preventing for a year now and I’m not even sure that I have been ovulating appropriately for some of those months. If we are going to try on our own for awhile longer, I want to at least make sure that I have an egg hanging around! 

Even though I was expecting it, I felt a tad disappointed to get the results. However, times like these make all the more aware of what miracles my boys are and how blessed I am that the Lord gave them to me when He did. And while I never forget for even a minute how amazing that is, it just makes me even more thankful. 

Oh my little Levi, how are you already 20 months old?! I mean, I know how it is scientifically possible that 20 months have passed since you were born, but you are almost 2 years old! Already! 

I always thought that Levi was going to be my mellow child who listened well and didn’t pop an attitude. Because I obviously didn’t know my child, at all! This boy is my kid who gives me the worst little pout face and refuses to be serious when I reprimand him. He goes from frowning at me to smiling while I am mid-scentence telling him no. I can’t keep a straight face when he does that! Ha Ha. 😉 But all in all, he really does listen pretty well for a 1 and a half year old. 

And he is smart! So smart. A lot of stuff he knows because he follows Tru around all day and repeats everything he says and tries to do everything Tru can do. They are like peanut butter and jelly from the moment they wake up in the morning until they go to bed. Whichever one wakes up first, they are always running to the other’s bedroom looking for eachother. They do play pretty well but we have a fair amount of fighting over toys and just fighting in general. Levi’s retaliation right now is to bite Tru. Lots of times lately I hear Tru yelling “No bite, baby! No bite me!” and I run to grab Levi away. I’m not sure what to do to get him past this phase. I vaugly remember Tru doing some minor biting but I think it was a short time before he stopped. 

A few days ago we were getting ready to leave the house and I gave the boys their socks to put on. Now, Tru has been able to put on his own socks since before he was a year old. Levi? Not yet. But that’s because we never give him the opportunity to try! He’s not as set on being independent as Tru has always been so he doesn’t fight us helping him with things usually. So, he sat there struggling and Tru just couldn’t handle watching the painstaking process and he tried to help Levi. But Levi started yelling at him and running away with the socks to try again elsewhere. Tru started crying to me that he just wanted to help “baby” and I told him that Levi needed to try on his own. Tru said something like “He’s just a baby! He can’t do it. I can. I’m a big boy!” In that moment I saw the emotions I feel, coming from Tru. It’s hard watching your baby grow up. Sometimes there’s a bit of denial there. Sometimes I just want to freeze these years in time because they are already going so fast. But there is the whole other side where I am just wildly thrilled to watch them growing and learning how to do things on their own. But the most exciting part for me is watching their personalities develop….

And that is the biggest thing with Levi right now. He’s not acting like a baby much at all anymore. He’s becoming a “big boy” and it’s so fun to see! The one babyish habit that Levi hasn’t quite kicked yet is nursing. Lately he goes a day or two without and then decides he needs to check back in for a couple minutes. I can still express a bit of milk if I try. Interestingly, it looks like colostrum again. ?? I tell him no when he says “boob” a lot of the time but I really don’t care to nurse him if we are at home or if he gets hurt or is sad. 

As far as speech goes, Levi says everything he wants to say but usually just 1 or 2 words at a time. Which I guess is probably on track for his age. He gets his point across, that’s for sure! He definitely has a quiet, contemplative side but he also has a really loud voice and he’s not afraid to use it in case you didn’t hear him the first time. 😉 

I think he is starting to call himself by his name sometimes. Or rather Vevi, since that is what Tru calls him a lot. The other day my dad asked Tru “Who is that?” pointing to Levi and Tru said “That’s baby”. My dad said “I thought he had another name. Isn’t his name Vivi?” And Tru said very adamantly “No. His name is VEVI!” We also call him “nugget” quite a bit and I thought I heard Levi call himself nugget once. Poor kid probably doesn’t know his real name! I jest, I jest…. 
One of the most exciting developments recently is that Levi now says “wovou” (love you) and “wovou too”! I think he’s probably been saying it awhile but I didn’t realize that’s what he was trying to say until I told him “mommy loves you” while I had him on the changing table getting him ready for bed and he said “wovou too”. I seriously melted!! He also grabs my face and gives me kisses and hugs and is very loving with Tru also. They kiss each others boo boos and Tru will even cry more if Levi won’t kiss him better. 🙂 

Dear God, what a gift to be watching my Promised Gift learn and grow day by day. I’m so thankful for the joy of being his mother. I pray that You will protect him and watch over him. I pray that You will help us to raise him up to be loving and kind. Respectful and honest. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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This is a month late but I still wanted to post this up for memories.
Wednesday evening we set out to drive to our overnight stay at Niagara Falls. Our plan was that the boys would sleep on the way. And they did. But by the time we arrived many hours later at 3am, we were  exhausted. We slept in the next morning and when we got up, Tru and I enjoyed some coffee and then we all walked to the Falls. It was a bit chilly but still enjoyable.

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After a couple hours of walking around, we continued our journey to my Aunt and Uncle’s house where we stayed. We made a pit stop at OG and got to their house around 8pm. Friday we set out driving around to take in the fall scenery. It did not disappoint! Gorgeous! 

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Tru just had to see the “turny things” up close

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Then we swung by my other Aunt and Uncle’s farm in time for calf feeding. A hugely anticipated event for Truett. And myself, I’ll admit. I love calves. 🙂 

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And we picked some apples…

Clearly Levi enjoyed them!

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Then we headed over to my grandma’s house for a delicious soup supper. We likely traumatized her cat with our presence but I’m told the cat got immense joy out of smelling the rug where our barn-smelling shoes sat. 😉 Sadly, I dont have a picture to share of our visit there. 
I also saw my grandpa for a bit that evening and didn’t take my camera! 😦 I kind of failed at photographing our whole trip. 
On saturday my Aunt took us to a fall festival thing at a strip mall. Tru left his manners at home and Levi fell asleep but the boys both got little pumpkins to decorate and balloon animals. Tru even rode a hay ride with DH and my Aunt while I basked in the love that is this sleeping baby….

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On sunday we played outside for awhile until it was time to go visit another Aunt, Uncle and cousin as well as see Grandma again. I don’t have any shareable pictures from that visit but suffice it to say there was goat walking, tree house exploring (not for me though- no heights!), side walk chalk, supper, cartoons and more.
 I also went to see my Grandpa again that night for awhile and he told me some amazing stories about his parents and family. 

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We wore the kid out again playing outside.

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Monday early am started the barfpacolypse for Truett so we stuck with our plan to leave Monday evening at 5pm. Thankfully our drive home was uneventful. I was determined we would stay overnight at a hotel halfway through. DH was determined we would drive straight through. We drove. It was soul crushing exhausing but we made it safe and sound by the next morning, praise God! I’m so thankful for the fun we had and the memories made. 🙂    

I don’t know if I’ve ever waited this long to start Christmas shopping in my entire adult life. I usually start to feel waves of panic by September. Here we are in mid November already. Ha! But anyway, yesterday we went to find DH a pair of dress shoes and I ended up with a full cart of Christmas presents. I got most of the gifts bought that we needed to pick up for DH’s family and today I picked up a few more for other people. I don’t know what we are going to get the boys. They don’t need a darn thing. I got them each a dvd today with kid shows and I plan to do the box with the jammies, movie, popcorn etc again this year. That was a MAJOR hit with Tru last year and he still asks to sit on the couch and eat “popcorns” and still loves to watch his “Christmas doggy movie” (Olive, The Other Reindeer) They get so much stuff from everyone else that I don’t really know what to get them myself. Which is a GOOD problem to have. 😉 

We didn’t have a Christmas tree last year because with one baby crawling and a very curious toddler,, it didn’t feel feasible without putting a gate around the tree. (BOO) So, we chose to sit the year out without a tree. It was a bit depressing. But this year, we are looking forward to picking out a tree, maybe next week. I pointed the trees out to Tru today when we saw some at the store and he seemed excited about buying one soon. (We always do a real tree) I think Levi will do fine around it. We may have a couple incidents but I expect he will know not to touch it. Tru has also been excitedly pointing out all the decorated houses when we are driving. He LOVES the lights and talks about his lights at home that my dad gave us recently. One of those star shower things. Tru and Levi are obsessed right now with sitting in the bedroom with it plugged in so DH pulled us up some songs on ytube and we danced around pretending the lights were a disco ball. Fun times. Toddlers are so fun!! I love this stage. (I say that with every new stage, I know.) 

I am currently on CD37, 17-18dpo (or at least what I assumed was o – I guess it wasn’t?) and have had several BFNs and one sketchy second line of undeterminable color on $.88 WM tests and one really disheartening ‘NO -‘ on a FRER digi. So I don’t know what’s up with that… At least this has kicked my butt in the right direction since I think I am going to schedule a check up with my RE’s office because something just isn’t feeling right with my left ovary. And I know it had a cyst on it a few weeks ago at my yearly with my gyno. That probably needs looked at…and is also the likely culprit for the delayed cycle, as much as I really wish this time I could be one of those unicorn ladies who failed to pee hcg and went to the gyno only to find out she’s like 8 weeks pregnant afterall. Hey, a girl can dream, right? 

Oh! But here’s some good news! DH got a promotion at work and is moving up to the office now from driving truck. He is super excited. It does come with a tidy little pay increase which is great because DH almost always works 50 hour weeks with some 56 hour weeks thrown in there, so now that he is going to the office, he won’t have to work overtime very often (YES!!!) but will come out just a tad under what he usually makes. It’s super! His hours are changing also which is both good and bad but mostly it’s good because maybe he will finally get more sleep. 🙂 We went to buy his new “office boy” clothes yesterday and he does look really cute in his dress pants and button ups. 

And as for piggerstien, he is doing well but keeps getting out of his pen and I just don’t.know.where. I have fortified every bit of that pen and there is no evidence as to how he gets out. Maybe pigs are flying now? He ran over to our neighbors a few days ago and we had no idea where we went. DH’s cousin sent me a text and asked if our pig was missing. I told her YES, he was gone when we came home and we had no idea where he was. She sent back that she saw a post on FB in a county group that someone had a random pig show up at their house. And yes, it was ours. So crazy how information can get around so quickly in our world now! I went and got him the next day and, after some adding of boards, thought I had his pen hog-tight. But tonight he escaped yet again and thankfully DH saw him and put him back. The bottom line – pigs make cute pets, funny pets, interesting pets, great food scrap eating pets, but in general – not a great pet. So much trouble! Crazy pig. 

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I don’t know what my issue is lately. So much to say but then I don’t say it. Some of it has to do with laziness I’m sure and also the general blah that has come over me since that dreadful thing we call Fall has arrived. I feel mega stressed about winter, as pathetic as that may sound. I don’t do well with the cold. In the state we live in we have 7 months that range from slightly chilly to bitter blistering cold at a moments notice and 5 months that range from perfect to too freaking hot to be outside. As in, heat advisories issued on the television multiple days throughout the summer. Best of both worlds, cold and heat advisories. If we actually manage to pay off our house in the next 5ish years, I have plans in my head about buying a very tiny house in a warm state and renting it to vacationers during the summer and escaping there during the cold. If I sound like an old person for these thoughts, GOOD! They have the right idea! 

Because I know you don’t just come here to listen to me complain, dear readers – you dear patient people whom I love – I do actually have some fun updates to share. We celebrated Truett’s birthday with our friends and family on the 29th of October with a smallish (for us) party. It was great! Pirate themed and right up my alley seeing as how I used to read pirate books as a teen and absolutely loved them. Making the decorations was so fun. DH’s aunt spent a small fortune and countless hours on the – hands down – cutest pirate birthday cake ever. Dudes, the pirate had a butt crack showing! And belly button. If that’s not just the cutest!

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Tru loved his party so much and danced his way right through the happy birthday song. It was so fun! And of course he was spoiled rotten with toys which him and Levi have been playing with at the exclusion of all their “old, boring” toys. 🙂 

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Then we had Truett’s Rheumatology appointment on the 31st and seeing as he has not had a real fever since the Great Fever Incident of September, we are taking a watchful waiting approach versus doing blood work right now for Periodic Fever Syndrome. The Dr felt that was still a possibility but was not too concerned about it at this point. We are supposed to call in with any fever and they will do blood work. Also, Tru had his pelvic and abdominal ultrasound the same day which he hardly noticed since they let him watch a movie during it. 😉 Poor child did have to go hungry all the way until about 2pm though because of not being allowed to eat or drink beforehand. I felt so bad for him. But anyhow, the ultrasound looked good. So the last item on our list is the stool study and I have been unable to get an… errrm… sample, so we have not “turned in” that test yet. But hopefully this week we will. 🙂 That test is to look for a bunch of things that coud be causing his belly pain (which he hasn’t complained of lately, thankfully) and his marked bloating. So much so that his hernia which was going away, has seemed to pop out more. :/ 

A few days after returning from New York (which I still want to post some really cute pictures we got there) I was hit by the stomach bug that I thought I had escaped desite Truett throwing up on my face. Yes. Always happens to me. The worst part of having a stomach virus is, for me, the fact that I have… emetophobia. It’s a thing. Look it up. But my Dr had called me in some phenergan. I thought it didn’t help since I still “got sick” a couple times but after DH came down with the bug the next day and got sick 15ish times, I was really thankful for the phenergan I had taken. It must have really helped me. The weird thing was that Levi came down with the virus twice in a week. Poor baby. But he never acted like he felt bad at all, thankfully. 🙂 And we all were well in time for Tru’s party. 

Last weekend we attended my cousin’s beautiful wedding out of state but still close enough to easily drive there. It was gorgeous! Levi danced his heart out at the reception and if I knew how to post video here, I would. He actually dances like he knows what he’s doing and he’s just a baby! It’s hilarious! He was getting all the ladies. 😉 

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And, because I have been good and not bored you with TTC news in a few months, I feel compelled to tell you that we have reached the 1 year mark of trying again and of course, nada. 😦 I am sad about it to be frank with you but I feel like I really can’t blog about the way I feel on here because some of my readers have suffered so and some are still struggling to have their first or second child and I just don’t feel I have a right to boo hoo on here about the way I feel right now. But yes, I’m struggling a little. I have days were I am fine and I just feel very content with the way things are and I never ever forget for even a minute how blessed I am to have my boys. Then there are days… or maybe just moments really were I remember the double meaning behind my blog name. Journey is the name that we picked out for our baby girl when we had been dating all of one week. I still want Journey, or another boy would be just as amazing. I love being a boy mom! I guess if I knew it would happen again someday that I will have another baby, I wouldn’t be worried at all. It’s just that I don’t know if that will ever happen again, so I struggle a bit. I have not OPK’d or kept track much at all in a few months but based on the massive ov pain I had this month, I’d say we BD at exactly the right time. Come on boys!! I’m still taking my Lovenox and so on and need to get DH and I back on our immune support and (hopefully) fertility friendly vitamins. There is a miniscul possibility that we would try ivf again in, say… 3 years. But it’s something we’ve barely talked about so far. 

Lest this get too long, I’d better pause in the updates for now. Stay healthy and happy!  ðŸ™‚ 

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