Archives for the month of: January, 2016

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who sent words of encouragement and understanding on my last whiny post. We came home later that day and after lots of bleaching, we have our tubs, shower, toilets etc clean and in working order. More work needs done on the septic but we can use it for now.

Second, I want to apologize for my bad attitude. I heard some very sobering news about someone that evening that put my piddly little plumbing problems in perspective and I felt rather silly for falling apart and literally crying over our little mess. I know it’s not fun when these things happen but, these things do happen and in the scheme of things it’s really no biggie.

So, on to better things… my humidifier appears to be salvageable! Despite emersion for quite some time, the electrical parts are somehow still working. With enough bleach and airing out, maybe I’ll even use it some day….


Temporarily, I hope. Although my parents and siblings have so generously opened their home to us, I miss my own kitchen and not living out of bags. Also, having the kids separated in their rooms so they don’t keep each other up.

See, our septic backwashed into the house and filled the tubs and shower. Nothing would go down and it was so gross!! I was babysitting my niece and nephew at the time and as soon as their parents got there, I left. I texted DH “I’m moving out!”, packed our things and showed up at my parents. Peeing out in the snow in clear view of our neighbors once was enough fun for me!

DH came home from work and couldn’t get anything to move through so he packed his stuff and came to my parents as well. He had to take a personal day today to work on it  My poor dad is there now too as well as my brother. This is the second time this has happened in the last few months with this time being most severe. Last time water would still go down, albeit slowly. This time all my dishwater had backed up into the tubs and toilets when I discovered the severity of the problem. It was draining from the sink and coming up all the other drains. If I had run just a little more water it would have flooded onto our floors and *gasp* my carpet. If that had happened, so help me!!

As it is, the new $47 humidifier I bought was sitting in the tub to be refilled; it was refilled alright! With poop backwash water. The motor was ruined.

This comes 2 days after our water finally thawed out after being frozen for a couple days. Second time our pipes have frozen this stupid winter and DH has insulated it all he can. Heat tape under pipe insulators with regular insulation and a blanket. We even have straw insulating the ground over the outdoor portion of pipe. I’m at my wits end about it all. The inconvenience and having to take showers at our parent’s houses and bring home water jugs…. coupled with the cost of having to fix the septic lines now…. I’ve been in a bad mood about it all and haven’t been inspired to write because winter is so annoying that it sucks the fun out of everything.

Oh, and out heat pump is still broken. Still running on emergency heat, for now. No idea when that will be fixed. The HVAC guys can’t get to it yet.

On a good note…. I do have at least 2 giveaways planned once I can inhabit my house again and, I don’t know, wash my hands etc. So stay tuned for that. Sorry for complaining but if I can’t whine on my own blog….. poor DH.

Three years ago when I started this blog, I was part-way through my second IVF cycle and desperate to make a connection with someone who could relate to what I was going though. I had plenty of family and friends who did their utmost to be there for me and who were/are so supportive and loving and really helped to give me strength through what had been a long 4.5 year battle with infertility. But as much as I loved and appreciated their support (and still am so thankful for their support and prayers and desire to understand) sometimes I just wanted to talk to someone who understood. Someone who I didn’t have to explain things to and didn’t have to try not to offend with my anger. And I had things I wanted to share with others too! Support I wanted to give; to be that listening ear. God, in His unwavering faithfulness carried me through and I wanted to share that with everyone. If it wasn’t for God, I wouldn’t have made it 4.5 years without a single friend who really knew or understood what I was feeling.

I had found forums where I could discuss things with “cycle buddies” and didn’t have to explain procedures to and I had seen that a few of them had blogs. I started reading a blog or two and thought, I’d like to try that. But I really didn’t dream I would ever have over a hundred followers reading my own blog! I just really needed a place to journal my feelings and progress and hopefully find a few friends who could relate. WOW, you all really came through!! The sense of community and support was overwhelming and it really helped to lift my spirit during a tough time. Then, once I was treading the new, frightening yet exciting waters of pregnancy after infertility, I found a whole new world of support I was not expecting I would even need, let alone, find. Pregnancy after infertility is different. At least it certainly has been for me and I know a lot of others who would vouch for that as well as parenting after infertility. I had a whole different set of fears and struggles that I wasn’t aware would come up and I found a whole community here waiting to share their support once again. I couldn’t thank you enough.

I know that word *support* keeps coming up… because that’s what it’s all about! Thank you for reading along and sharing your stories and for letting me share mine. 🙂

Just need to do a venting post. You can skip it or boo-hoo with me. It’s just whining anyways, nothing serious. But it feels good to get it off my chest.


This is what I want. 365.

There’s just something about winter that makes me feel so blah and unproductive. I think bears have the right idea with hibernating through the nastiness. The cold, ice, snow, hazardous driving conditions, high electric bills… fingernails breaking off in the cold…. seriously… I lost 4 nails in 2 days! What part of that makes me want to go outside and, I don’t know, do stuff? Why do I live in a state who’s weather I am not fond of? It made our pipes freeze 2 days ago. Thankfully DH got the water running again… for now. Wind chill is a real thing!

Our 3.5 year old heat pump broke down a week and a half ago and we are waiting for the part to come in so the repairs can be done. And let me tell you, that part was not cheap! Yay, credit card! So we are running on emergency heat for now. That means we are keeping the house a toasty 65-66F at night and 66-67F during the day. Like I said, big whoop. I mean, there are tons of homeless people right now who would be more than happy to be here right now so I’m not about to complain about that. Except for the unexpected and unwelcome cost of repairs. I’m still going to complain about that a little.

I have been feeling some seasonal moodiness. Can you tell? I really despise winter. I really do. And it tends to put me in a bit of a bad mood. As much as I don’t like to get the babies out in the weather, I find it is vitally important for me to get out of the house! I don’t get out every day obviously but I definitely have to make a point of doing it several times a week minimum. Otherwise, I sit at home and worry about every single thing and I have way too much time to go over scenarios that end up worse case etc. It is annoying to me and a colossal waste of time seeing as 99% of the time, I am worried about things I cannot prevent. That is why adult interaction is vital to my mental health. Some physical exercise would be great too if it was warm enough outside. I miss walking with my SIL. We had a pretty great thing going with the twice weekly walks. We were up to 3.6 miles of hilly terrain pushing 80+ pounds with our double strollers. Weight was being lost. Muscles were being built…. It was a good thing. It needs to happen again. I’ve thought about joining a gym at least for the winter months but I don’t know that I would go often enough to make it worthwhile. Plus I’m super self conscious working out in front of people.

It would be so fun to go to a mom group but I don’t know of any close to where I live. Plus, I don’t really want the babies exposed to all the germs in the winter. Generally I don’t worry about germs and dirt and such but the flu is a particular thing I really don’t want my kids to have, not to mention myself and DH.

I’ve also been having a terrible time with not relaxing. I have such tense muscles all the time. I have been focusing the last week on loosening up and I think I am doing marginally better but only when I make the conscious effort to relax. I don’t know why I’m always tensed up like a cat getting ready to pounce but it’s annoying and giving  me  a  sore  neck. I stay  up  at night to  try  to  unwind  but then  I get upset that I’m missing out on sleep and will pay for it in the morning. I think the key would be to get up earlier so I have more time to myself in the morning. I need to get a shower, pump, read my Bible and pray and have breakfast in order to feel ready for the day. That takes a lot longer while getting the boys breakfast and nursing and changing them. It means that wherever we go, we have a late start for the day.

All in all, it’s just a season – literally and figuratively – winter, I won’t miss. The boys being little and demanding all my time and energy, I will miss. I am the type of person who thrives on being needed. If I’m not needed then I feel entirely useless. I have a lot of love to give and I enjoy taking care of people. Preferable my own little, cute people. So their needs are nothing I would ever complain about. But winter sucks. And static. Actually, static shocks but whatever.

Thank you to everyone who let me share my life with you last year. Thank you for reading, commenting and supporting. 🙂


The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Tru.. this kid is hilarious! He’s one compact little bundle of personality and hyperactivity as 2 years olds are. He loves to talk! I don’t understand everything he says but I can make most of it out. He jabbers on in long sentences which are becoming increasingly more real words and less of his own made up words. He pronounces stuff so funny but is getting better and better at it every day.  Some of his pronunciations are:

  • cwow – cow, he is getting better at this one
  • fock, fockoh – frog, sometimes he says it correctly
  • hi cher – highchair
  • saucing – Austin, his cousin
  • vv remotes, remope – tv remote
  • MONter – monster
  • scawee – scary, he saw a surge protector the other day at the store and told me it was scary. I looked at it and realized he thought it was scary because the holes look like a face with the mouth open!
  • cope – coat, he says it right sometimes now
  • pi whoa – pillow
  • socks – fox, he cannot get this one right and it cracks me up! “Wook, mom! See!? Socks!”

He recognizes that things come in different sizes. Like saying “Mom, big baba.” “Big boy.” He was building towers out of large legos the other day and my mom said “Two towers!” Tru reached behind him and pulled out another stack of blocks and set it next to the others and said “Three towers!” His counting skills are just beginning! I also heard him counting his books saying “Seven, eight…”

He is very proud of his tower building abilities. He was beaming with pride when he first figured out how to make towers. I was telling him that it was a good tower and a good job. He is always telling me “Wook mom! Watch!” He also tells me almost every time we sit down to eat something. “Good, Mom.”

I was impressed the other day when he pointed to a “T” on his shirt and told me that is was a “T”! He learned that from my sisters showing him refrigerator magnets. He can easily point to the letter t now and I think he is starting to catch on to others as well. I have flash cards that I made when he was just one but he couldn’t keep concentration to watch them back them but I’m thinking now he will be able to.

Tru is still an iffy eater. He is game for trying just about anything now and there isn’t much food he doesn’t like but I see a bit more pickiness than before. His main problem is he just wants to eat a few bites and be done. He is gaining weight though and outgrowing his clothes so it must be enough. He likes yogurt a lot and fruit of pretty much any variety. I will hit the drive through with him when we are out doing errands and he always asks for “nuggies”and occasionally “fries and nuggies”. And then wants my sandwich after he sees it. 😛 He does still take a bottle. I know, I know… bad mommy. But frankly, it’s not like he carries one around all the time. It’s more of a first thing in the morning, again in the afternoon, maybe in the evening and before bed. It is the only way he consistently drinks all of his milk. That’s more important to me than having him off the bottle. He gets his water in his cup.

We don’t do naps much anymore. If he does take one it’s usually late in the afternoon and I have to be careful he doesn’t sleep too late. By evening he is always melting down without a nap but when I lay him down for naps, more and more often he just sits in his bed and talks to himself and plays. Which isn’t all bad – at least he’s getting quiet time. But I’m taking advantage of his need for quiet in the afternoon to try and get more cuddle time in. He will sit with me and watch “Geory” (Curious George) and get rest that way now and then throughout the day. He has gotten so much better at snuggles lately! I am so happy. We got the boys “Olive, The Other Reindeer” for Christmas and Tru asks all the time to “Nuggle on cowp, corns, goggy on vv.” (Snuggle on the couch with popcorn and watch the doggy on the tv.) We’ve seen that movie a few too many times!

I was starting to wonder if Tru would ever learn to say thank you then out of the blue he started saying it on his own with no prompting. “Dank ew, mom.” I also have to kiss every single owie. “I hurch. Kiss.” I ended up kissing his knee twice in the checkout lane at the grocery the other day. 😉

This is getting pretty long. It’s hard to fit 2 months of this boy’s busy and action packed life into just a few paragraphs. There is so much I want to remember and so much I know I’ll forget. It makes me sad just how much I’ll forget and have forgotten already. I’m always thinking “I need to write that down!” and before I get a chance, it’s gone. 😦 But I’m thankful for as much as I have gotten to record! Now to get around to printing it all off into a book for each boy with their own updates!!

Dear God, I am so happy raising this precious little boy! He fills my heart with so much love. I am amazed time and again at the miracle You created and the blessing You gave me by letting me carry Tru and raise him. I pray that I will always raise him right and never fail him as a mother. I pray that I will raise him to love You with all his heart, soul and strength and know that it is only because of Your grace and mercy that he is here. In Jesus’ name, amen.



We made gingerbread men the other day.


Tru broke the legs off his before decorating it. 


He had fun helping me apply the decorations. 


This guy was mine. 


Then we traded cookies and ate them. 


Sleeping on his new favorite dino “pi whoa” case he got for Christmas from Great Grandma. 


Snuggles on the couch in his adorable robe. 


Playing with his Elmo books. 


Such a goofy ball of energy. 


But he has a serious side too. 😉 


I love this picture! 🙂 

There’s not a whole lot new with my little nugget this week. He has a tooth that is just about to break the surface any day now. He has only bit me once in the last few weeks so I’m hoping we are done with the biting phase. His teeth do make impressions in my boob while he’s nursing and the other day I noticed that his teeth had even broken through the skin near my nipple while just nursing normally. :0 I didn’t feel it at the time but it was sore later! I am just in no way wanting to wean him yet and the feeling is mutual with him. So unlike Tru who weaned himself when he was just a couple weeks older than Levi is. I certainly would have been happy to nurse him longer but I wasn’t going to force the issue as I was pregnant with Levi by then and had mostly lost my milk.

I’ve seen him let go of whatever he is holding onto and stand there for a couple seconds a few times. Usually if he has something in his hands, he is more brave. Yesterday he was putting his butt in the air and pushing up on his feet and hands like he was going to try to stand. I’m wondering if he will be an early walker.

Levi is usually down to 1 *long* nap a day. It ranges from 1-3 hours. He generally goes down around 12-1pm. He will often fall asleep nursing in the evening and sleep in my arms for a short nap. If it goes too long though he has a hard time going to bed so I try to keep it short. After months and months of him going to bed at 10:30 to 11pm or even later, the last month or so he has switched to going to bed around 9:30 which works out great with Tru going to bed around 9. Levi has consistently been my earlier riser but I hung blackout drapes in his room 3 days ago and he sleep late the last 3 mornings. Like till around 10-11am!! And he slept through the night aside from maybe waking to fuss for 1-2 minutes! That is huge improvement from the 2-3 wakings he was having. A well rested baby is a happy baby. He absolutely cannot sleep if I put him in bed with me when he wakes in the night. He tosses and turns and sighs audible sighs of frustration. If I put him in the pack and play in our room, he cries. So the only place he seems to get good rest is in his own room although he still CIO at night sometimes for whatever reason. I’m starting to think that’s his way of winding down. He will even cry if I hold him while he’s trying to go to sleep. I bought a video monitor to put in his room since Tru still uses his. It hasn’t come in the mail yet but I’m hoping it will be nice. It was an open box steal at just $29! Those things are NOT CHEAP!

I caught Levi talking on a lego a few weeks ago. I thought, “No way. He couldn’t possibly be pretending to talk on the phone yet.” Then a few days later, he was holding the remote to his ear but I still thought “Nah.” Then a few days after Christmas, he was playing with a toy phone he got and he was holding it to his ear, albeit backwards. So yeah, he must be for real starting to mimic the things he sees us doing and that includes such things as talking on the phone. 🙂

He is finally making the “dada” sounds. I think he might be intentional in it as he has said “ma” sounds when he cries since he was probably all of 6 months old.(Even his Pediatrician agreed with me. ;))The times I notice him saying “dada” is usually when DH is around. That’s rather exciting! He is definitely Daddy’s boy! He prefers DH so much of the time it actually hurt my feelings at first. But Tru usually prefers me so it all works out. If Levi wants a boob of course, no one but mommy will do (obviously) but the rest of the time, he will actually cry for daddy even while I’m holding him! No doubt that makes DH feel pretty special. 😉

Dear God, these days are so special and they go by so fast. I pray that each day we will do Your will and bring glory to You. I pray that You will protect our children and help them to continue growing healthy and well. In Jesus’ name, amen.


That little face is such a blessing to wake up to. 🙂 


The gap in his top front teeth keeps getting wider. I think it’s adorable. 



I love those blue eyes. 


We had a hard time doing 9 month pictures with a very squirmy, overtired boy. 


For a minute things got pretty sad. We had to break for a boob. 😉 


Snuggles on the couch with my baby.


I seriously didn’t tell them to smile. They just looked up and saw me taking pictures and this is what I got. 


He’s a model.


He always sleeps with his arms tucked under him just like Tru used to. 

Tru was beside himself at Christmas. While Levi just made a token attempt at opening presents at first and eventually became more interested in the concept, Tru tore into them like an animal unleashed. He opened his, mine, some of Grandma’s and who knows who else’s gifts he opened! He was excited about his toys and still plays with them every day. Levi was very happy to eat the paper. 🙂


They really expect us to open all those?


Tru in his chair he got from Grandma.


Elmo opens presents.


Opening mommy’s new bedspread.


The paper is so tempting but kind of gross. 


Tru opening mommy’s body butter. 

The boys got so many toys from grandparents and relatives, I had to pack some old ones away, get rid of some and buy a shelf for Tru’s room as the living room could no longer hold all those toys! DH and I kept it simple as we always do. The boys got 2 pair of pajamas each which they needed. Tru got jeans. Levi got several books. We gave them “Olive, The Other Reindeer” to share. I used an idea I saw online and wrapped a shoe box filled with the dvd, chocolate bar, pjs, and popcorn. Tru thought that was just the best thing ever! We turned off the light and snuggled on the couch with our popcorn and Tru has been begging to repeat that scenario over and over! I also gave Tru some refrigerator magnets, and a dinosaur stamp set and googly eyes for crafts. I think that was it. They still haven’t opened all their presents from us yet as they haven’t even processed everything else they got. I’m hoping we can do that this weekend in a way that makes it special. 🙂


The chocolate bar was the first casualty. No, we didn’t let him eat the whole thing! 


I wrapped everything individually so Tru could have more things to open. Then I wrapped the whole box. 


Do I eat this or play with it?


I guess I’ll play with it. For now. 

I got an ornament for Levi for his first Christmas. I also bought large clear ornaments for both boys so I can use them to fill with their keepsake hat from the hospital, their bracelet and whatever other special items might fit. I saw that idea online as well and thought it would be a fun and cute way to preserve those items.

We went to my parents house on Christmas Eve and opened presents with my family. Christmas morning was spent with DH’s family and then on to his Grandma’s in the afternoon. The boys did pretty well considering they were exhausted and drug all over the countryside. With DH’s grandma living almost 2 hours away, it’s not a fun drive for babies.


With Great Grandma’s tree. Levi wanted those ornaments so bad!


Worn out from a long day of partying. 


Just let me have it, mom! 


Tru popped out his attitude at the Grandparents. 


And Levi collapsed in exhaustion. 


And was banned to the baby area during gift opening. 

We never decorated which made me sad in a way but next Christmas will be here in a blink anyways. I was not about to fight with Levi eating needles off the floor etc. I had enough “fun” keeping the boys from destroying our relative’s trees. I kept telling myself I would at least set up the table top tree so the boys could have that to open their presents by but that never happened. It hardly seemed worth the effort of hauling out the ornaments etc just to pack it all away again in a few days. I focused my energies on buying presents for our family members and had quite a fun time! Tru helped me make chocolate covered pretzels to give as gifts with crushed candy canes and m&ms on them. They turned out so pretty and it was fun to do.

So Christmas 2015 was a success. 🙂 DH bought me a camera which was perfect timing as I just dropped mine and broke the battery compartment. We were hoping to get a new one soon but he really went above and beyond picking out a nice one. I hope it will last many years and capture thousands of beautiful pictures of my babies. 🙂 The boys each gave DH a shirt that Tru actually helped me pick out and paid for by swiping the card for me and everything. It was super cute. Of course, Tru opened those for Daddy. 😉 Since I’m not working right now, I feel silly to spend DH’s money for him to buy him gifts but he is picking himself out a few doodads for his music.


Happy 2016 to everyone!

My cycle was regular pretty much right away after having Tru. It may have been off a day or two but not by much. This time around though, it’s sporadic. The first 2 were 36 days apart and this month I was 10 days late! Negative tests after AF was late aside from 1 that was most likely a dye run. (IC, had a bad dent in it.) I didn’t track anything this month or keep track of CD or ovulation. But I was due to start Christmas and AF didn’t come until today. Was a little bummed after starting to get my hopes up yesterday with that wacky test. Oh well, it was obviously not my month. It’s ok. But I hope AF will quit playing tricks on me if I’m not pregnant. As nice as it is to delay the ugly lady, it’s also a pain to have to keep testing every few days *just in case* since I would have to start Lovenox asap if I were actually pregnant. My milk supply is low enough that I’m surprised my hormones are still that off. How long did it take before your cycles evened out post partum?

I keep hearing about how awesome essential oils are. To be honest, I’m not sure I quite believe all the hype BUT I think I do want to learn more and maybe try a few. I bought eucalyptus oil a few weeks ago but I don’t really know how to use it.

I’m most interested in oils that are:
* antifungal
* antiviral
* antibacterial
* mood balancing
* relaxing
* rejuvenating

Anyone have any experience and/or tips to share? What is a diffuser? Can I just put them in my humidifier? Are they safe for kids? What brands are cheap yet good quality (is that possible?)?

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