Search Terms – Thank You Dr. Google

I was looking through the search terms that people use to find my blog. I found it kind of interesting that my blog comes up when you google these things. Thought I would share it with you.

• Chiristmas ideas for wife ivf – This one touched me. Some cute husband out there probably getting his head bit off by his lupron crazed wife. Just wanting to find something thoughtful for her for Christmas. Aww. Just aww.

• uti after embryo transfer – this is actually one of my hottest search terms. I had a uti right after my egg retrieval and throughout embryo transfer and part of the 2ww. So stressful! The dr put me on keflex I think and eventually macrobid. It’s ok! If you googled this and found my blog, relax. It is ok. 

• ovidrel shot 4 minutes late – This one is just cute. I understand how important it is to get that shot on time. Especially because the nurse and drs stress it so much that it needs to be ON TIME!! 4 minutes late is ok though. Breathe.

• loud dizzy wen chewing infertility – Kind of confused here. You are chewing infertility?

• it drives me crazy to wait for pregnancy test – Me too sister. Me too…

• why is ivf so hard – I’m not sure what viewpoint this is being asked from. It could have different answers depending on who is asking and why they are asking it. Ivf for me is hard because it’s not a guarentee. The shots aren’t hard. The side effects aren’t even too hard. The driving nearly 2 hours 1 way to each appointment every other day isn’t hard. The waiting IS hard. The not knowing IS hard. Leaving my embabies in a lab, growing in a petri dish IS hard. Knowing that I have no control over the situation IS SO STINKING HARD!

• hot flashes normal during ivf – Oh, so you have them too? Good to know me and every single other woman who does ivf isn’t alone. I’m sorry you are experiencing that, but think of it as progress!!  I’ve gotten this search term a LOT!!!

• what do hot flashes feel like when on ivf  – Set oven to 350. Climb in for 2 minutes. Climb out and jump in a snow bank. Just kidding. NEVER DO THAT!!!

• compulsive worrier on my pregnancy – Well my blog came up, so…… yep. 

• anxiety ivf pregnancy – Again. You found me. 

• should I secretly up my dose of gonal-f – I understand where you are coming from but ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Wait, you are doing ivf…. anyways, no. Please for the sake of your ovaries, no.

• infertility….is a baby ever going to happen for me – This one makes me really sad.  I wish i could say yes. I don’t know, but I believe that if you set your mind to it, you will get a baby someday, somehow. Just don’t steal one. It’s tempting at times, I know.

• infertility happy trail/hormones causing happy trail – It  happens. I swear it will fall out…. after you have the baby. 😉

• i hate ivf – It’s a love hate relationship. 

I can’t believe nobody googled “painting nails during 2ww causes bfn”, “toothpaste dangerous during 2ww”, or “going pee after embryo transfer causes embryos to fall out” (just to be crystal clear here, it doesn’t). Come on ladies! You’re making me look like a lunatic.

Hot Flashes, Happy Trails, and Hormones

I started my stims tonight! I am really hoping it helps with all the hot flashes I’ve been having. Just getting a few hours sleep has become almost impossible between kicking the covers on/ off and waking up just about in a panic because of the heat. And here we are in the dead of winter! But I am assured that my gonal-f medicine has so much estrogen that the hot flashes will soon be gone… I sure hope so. Something that is not soon to be gone however, and is a byproduct of my last IVF, is my lovely new happy trail. I’m almost proud of it, the way it has grown in so nice and bushy and dark. It pretty much starts up around my cleavage and runs oh so nice in a straight line all the way down to…  well you get the point. I was really shocked to see it coming in during my last IVF. I don’t know exactly when it started or what caused it but I sure do hope it doesn’t expect to get much thicker during this IVF. Because if it does I doubt I’ll be able to find my stomach for those lovely shots.
      I had absolutely the most.   deadbeat nurse that I have ever seen in my life come in to prep me for my SHG. Despite her lack of personality however, I really liked her. I was just so absolutely set on making her crack a smile. I nearly succeeded when I whispered to her about my happy trail. She said sometimes that happens and when I asked her when it will fall out she said after a while, At which point my DH was surely breathing a sigh of relief.
      I have a feeling though that it will be awhile before anyone gets any relief from my hormones. I hear it gets worse during pregnancy which is fine by me as long as there’s a baby at the end of the tear stained pathway. I literally cry about everything now. I used to think that people were being dramatic when they would say things like they cry at a commercial. I can totally relate now and I do cry about commercials…and songs, and music videos and just about anything. Its so weird for me. My DH laughs at me, errr with me i mean. And then the other day I was reading the blog of a fellow IVFer and something that she said made me laugh so hard I cried. Laid on the floor crying… I just don’t know if 2 months in a row of IVF drugs is really very healthy. I would have let myself have a little more time in between, but I didn’t want my lovely DH stuck at a job he hates forever just so I could have IVF insurance. Yes, I know all of you fellow IVFers probably hate me now. I am one of the very very very blessed few who just so happen to have limited but still great infertility coverage. There is a price to pay though and that is that my DH has to work third shift over an hour away 10 hours a day. But he’s nice like that. Actually it came as a complete shock to us that we had infertility coverage, after we had saved up for IVF for almost a year. My DH got laid off and had to just take the first thing that came along at a factory which just so happened to have that coverage… Okay I’m done trying to cover my guilt. But I guess God knew we would need it since here we are again. And don’t worry, we paid for 2 surgeries out of pocket and 2 IUIs. Over the course of our TTC history probably close to 10,000 dollars I would imagine. Ouch. But a baby is worth any amount. Nothing is too extravagant to me if it means we get a baby. DH says I’m crazy, but I know he feels the same.
     I feel like I lose my appetite on the Lupron. When I really felt the most amazing during my IVF cycle was right after I took my Ovidrel. We stayed in a hotel the night before my ER and despite my enormous grapefruit ovaries I ate like a pig!! I ate the whole evening and I’m usually someone who eats like a bird. It was great! That’s when I decided that if hCG is a pregnancy hormone, and that’s the main ingredient of Ovidrel i think, then I should feel amazing during pregnancy! Right?? Okay I’m rambling. Enough for now. Thanks for reading. 🙂

My first post

I’m so thrilled to be making my first post on this new blog! For months now I’ve been feeling

like I should do something like this. I don’t know if it’s because someone out there in internetland needs to read this or if it’s just to get another way of coping for me. During my struggles with infertility I have drawn so much comfort from reading the blogs of others experiencing the same things as I have. Especially those who have pulled through and now have their beautiful baby(s). 🙂 I have no idea what the future holds for me, of course I hope for the best. Possibly this blog could give support to someone else going through this. Infertility is not something you should have to face on your own. I am so thankful to God for my wonderful husband. He has been supportive beyond my highest expectations. I am currently on my second IVF cycle. My first IVF cycle was just 2 months ago and I never thought I would have the strength to pick myself up and try again, but here I am!
I had an appointment today with my new RE. We did one of those lovely SIS/SHG things where they flush the uterus with saline solution on an ultrasound to look for polyps ect. The doctor deemed my uterus as being “beautiful”. My ears heard him but my mind still wonders why a perfectly beautiful uterus has never managed to carry a pregnancy. At any rate we’re moving right along I am set to start stims on Friday.
My protocol is somewhat different this time from last time in that I am still stimming with
Gonal-F but at a lower dose of 150iu per evening and my Lupron decreasing to 5iu through the stim phase. My new RE wants me to stim slower and longer. Also adding PIO injections versus Crinone and starting Lovenox soon. I was just diagnosed MTHFR after my last cycle. I have 2 copies of C677T so I will also be adding baby aspirin.
Fingers crossed, but more importantly lots of prayers!! God bless everyone who reads this and I hope that your dreams will come true, as well as mine, very soon! Babydust and sticky vibes to everyone 🙂