Archives for the month of: March, 2017

1 baby measuring 5 days ahead. I know I didn’t ovulate 5 days earlier because that was the day I had my RE appointment and the ultrasound showed the 2, still growing follicles. So this baby is an overachiever! It measured 7 weeks 3 days with a heartrate of 137. 🙂 I am 6 weeks 5 days today so that is great news.

The only unpleasantness is that I have a subchorionic hematoma. (SCH). I’m not sure how  big it is. I think they said 2cm but I might be wrong. It’s below the baby, which is good. They said to expect the B word. Ugh! I hope not. Please just absorb you nasty nasty thing. You can see it in the picture a little in the top right. It’s the dark ugly cloud. 

But anyway, let’s focus on how great it is that baby is so big and healthy and adorable. It’s such a nice feeling to have the motivation of this pic of our tiny baby to look at when I feel sick. So worth it. Such a blessing. 🙂 

Thank You God for this beautiful baby and healthy heartbeat. Please keep it safe and this pregnancy free from complications. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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In less than 24 hours, we should be having our ultrasound. It’s felt like a really long wait the last 2 weeks since I scheduled it. 

I’ve been pretty much knocked flat with all day “morning sickness”. It hasn’t helped that I also have a cold. Sore throat, stuffy nose etc. I tried to make due for a few days with doxylamine succinate but I finally emailed my RE and asked for Zofran. I hate taking it because of the possibility that it might cause birth defects. But I couldn’t get off the couch or take care of the boys at all. 

I’m breaking my Zofran pills in half and trying to take it as few and far between as possible. Today I felt well enough that I cleaned both bathrooms, did a few loads of laundry, loaded the dishwasher and cleaned out the fridge. That was the most I have done in nearly a week. I also got on the elliptical for a few minutes while I was feeling well since everything I’ve read says exercise helps reduce nausea. The Zofran is starting to wear off now but since I’m almost halfway through the day, I’m going to try sipping ginger ale with ginger tea ice cubes and see how that goes.

I’d never want to discourage anyone with my morning sickness talk. It’s truly worth it and only for a season. 

I’m excited and also nervous for the ultrasound tomorrow. I’ve had a lot of nightmares lately so it’s been hard to focus on positivity. I’m glad DH is taking the day off to go with me. I’ll try to update after the appointment. My RE is on vacation so I am supposed to meet another of the drs there. I’m kind of sad I won’t have Dr T but it’s ok. 

Happy Birthday my sweet snuggle nugget. I love you so much. 🙂 ​

Levi turned 2 this week and he really seemed to understand what birthdays are all about – CAKE! When he woke up, I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. He said “Cake… Ice cream.” 🙂 
We just had a quiet day at the house. I tried to let Levi skip naptime but he was too tired. DH brought home confetti cake  mix and ice cream and we woke Levi up from his nap so he could help make it. He was kind of sleepy still but Tru had fun helping. 😉 

We had “breakfast” for dinner and then had desert and opened presents. We got Levi a truck and toys for the sandbox, TMNT shoes and TMNT undies (to inspire him when we try potty training for reals 😉 ) and we also gave Tru a little sandbox toy set. 🙂 

Levi keeps talking about “my birthday presents” and guarding them from Tru. Though he’s starting to share better now that the newness has worn off. 😉

I’m so thankful for every moment with this squishy little cuddle bug. Levi is always asking to “Muggle you. Hair.” which means he wants me to hold him and let him play with my hair. He liked it before he weaned but now he’s completely obsessed with my hair as if it is his security now. He cries for me to take it out of a pony tail. He even enjoys brushing it! Not sure what is so great about it but, it’s pretty funny. I’m so thankful for how cuddly Levi is and for his goofy personality. He loves to laugh and to make other people laugh. He’s such a sweet and fun little person. I love every little bit of his adorable self.:)

Dear God, thank You for Levi. He is such a gift. I am so thankful and happy to be his mommy. I pray that we will always take good care of him and raise him to know, love and serve You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Shew! After a night of tossing and turning and little sleep, I decided I needed another blood draw to give me some answers. So I went in yesterday (about 24 hours after my last PIO shot, that way my shot wouldn’t be falsely increasing the number) and I got my results today. 

Progesterone 41.1

Beta 18,698 doubing time of about 42 hours. 23 dpo ~ 5 weeks 2 days. 

So imagine my relief! My RE is checking my progesterone tomorrow but no point in checking beta again, which is fine with me. 

Ultrasound in 9 days (but I’m saying 8 since it’s in the morning 😉 ). I am still crossing my fingers that I won’t have a reaction to the PIO and talked to my pharmacy about compounding it so I don’t have to worry about the benzyl alcohol. They said they can do that, so yay!! 

Thanks for the encouragement on my last post. I emailed my RE and told him about the anxiety I was having over it all and he was very sympathetic, so I greatly appreciated that. Thank You, Dear Lord, for such great increases and reassurance. Thank You for being faithful and loving. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

My RE called me today with my results and asked me twice if I’ve been taking my progesterone. I have been very faithful with taking it morning and evening. Prometrium 200mg 2x daily. I asked him what my levels were and he said they went from 29 on the 10th to 17 on the 17th. So he upped my dosage to 200mg morning and 400mg night. It really would have been nice to know this Friday instead of going the entire weekend with an abismal and possibly still dropping level. He didn’t order another check. 
I couldn’t tell if he thought that was a bad sign or not. He wants me to still come in for an ultrasound in 2 weeks. I’ll be honest, I’m scared. I went ahead and started taking the PIO shot, regardless of being allergic to the benzyl alcohol in it (10%). Hopefully the reaction will just be localized to the spot where I inject and not be systemic. I feel really awful that I didn’t take them before and stuck with the Prometrium. Even though my RE likes Prometrium, I know that historically, PIO has worked for me. I’m honestly just mad that I was unwilling to take the risk before. Don’t bother trying to make me feel better about it. It’s no use. 
Anybody have experience with this? Obviously I consulted Dr Google. Looks like it can go either way. Blah!! God, please don’t let me lose this baby! In Jesus’ name. 

ETA: I just saw in the patient portal that my progesterone with Levi also dropped from 35 to 20. I feel a little better after reading that. But I still don’t understand why that would happen. Not cool, body! Get with the program! 

Third beta is in at 3,535! That’s a doubling time of 35.43 hours. 🙂 Next up, in about 2 weeks Lord willing, we will have an ultrasound. 

Let me just ramble for a minute… I know I should’t compare and that betas don’t really mean much concerning multiple gestations, but still. I’m 19dpo. With Levi at 18dpo, my beta was 459. With Tru at 21dpo (at that point still a thriving triplet pregnancy) my beta was 7,487. It’s safe to say that around 19dpo with that pregnancy, my beta would have been around what it is today. 

And I did have 2 follicles this month…. I felt ovulation pains on the left on 2/24 and on the right on 2/25 into 2/26 early AM hours. (Guessing I finished ovulating 2/26 — why does that sound so weird to talk about?) So…. I mean…. speculation here. 

Ok. Enough speculating. Last night, I’m ashamed to admit, I felt anxiety starting to build. Now, I’ll be clear, I know why I do this. It’s because I struggle to leave things in God’s perfectly capable hands. I get anxious because I don’t want pain or loss. But it’s all out of my control. And that’s hard for me to deal with. So last night, I lost my willpower and went to grab a couple tests at the dollar store. And I’ll tell you, that was the darkest bfp I’ve ever had! It was glorious. 

This is embarrassing but I’m posting it for the other progression enthusiasts. 

When my sister saw these, she sarcastically asked “Do you think you’re pregnant?” Smart mouth.

Also, for those who find this via google, here’s a shout out to you! I do lots of googling too. Another embarrassing admission. I’m posting all my betas for easy comparason. 
1st pregnancy betas: 10dp2dt (12dpo) -250. 16dpo – 800+. 21dpo – 7,487.

2nd pregnancy: 16dpo – 176. 18dpo – 459. 20dpo – 1,406.

Current pregnancy: 9dpo – 15. 12dpo – 127. 19dpo – 3,535.

Dear Lord, thank You for Your patience and faithfullness. Thank You for blessing me above and beyond all that I could imagine. Please continue to watch over this baby and our whole family. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

I’m supposed to go in for my 3rd beta tomorrow, Lord willing. I’m planning to go first thing in the morning and wait about 4 hours and go beg my results from medical records again since who knows if my RE will get them before Monday. 
I’m starting to feel the nerves a little. I can’t believe I’ve made it a whole week without a beta! In my previous pregnancies, I was having a mental breakdown after 2-4 days. But I’ve been trying really hard not to worry about it this time. I’ve done pretty well, if I do say so. But today? Well, it’s been 3 days since I last POAS and saw those 2 reassuring lines. I almost talked myself into buying some tests today but I think it might be better to just wait for the beta. 
Shew! Early pregnancy… so easy. So hard!!! Pray for us please! 

 After another call to the lab this morning, my RE finally got my results. I’m not sure who is to blame for my results always having to be faxed multiple times. But anyway, my progesterone went up to 29. Quite happy with that! It was 16.5 four days prior. 

But, my RE wants me to wait until Friday for my 3rd beta instead of Tuesday. To be honest, the thought passed through my mind that I could probably go get the labs done Tues and pick them up from medical records and my RE would likely never know since he never gets the results the first time they are faxed. But, in the interest of following drs orders, and because the beta number Tuesday would only be for my peace of mind and not actually any benefit to the baby, I think I might try to be good and wait. 

I took a test this morning and it was nice and dark. Not darker than the control line, but close to the same. And not much darker than 2 days ago but still reassuring. That was my last pink dye test so….. now we wait.

All my symptoms have eased up which is the usual pattern for me. I don’t really feel pregnant right now. Just kind of crampy. With the boys, my symptoms eased after the first few days and came back closer to 7 weeks. I’m interested to see if we follow the same pattern this time. 

Also, my PIO injections arrived today but I don’t think I can take them. Last year I realized I seem to have an allergy to benzyl alcohol. Which is 10% of the ingredients in PIO. Oh well. I might ask my RE if I can switch to taking Prometrium orally. I do wish the injections would have worked out this time. They are so easy. 

15 dpo aka 4 weeks 1 day today! 🙂 At this point with Levi, I hadn’t even taken a test yet. Lord please continue to watch over and sustain this sweet baby according to Your will. In Jesus’ name. 

I had my second beta yesterday at 12dpo. It came back at 127! That’s a doubling time of 21.42 hours. It was 15 at 9dpo so it only had to be 45 but I was super happy it was higher! 
I had my progesterone checked again too but I won’t get those results till at least Monday. I’m still taking prometrium 2x a day via v route. I was hoping my PIO shots would get here before the weekend but it’s no big deal. 
Actually, I knew my Dr probably wouldn’t call me yesterday with the beta results even though I had them done before 10am. He took over 24 hours calling me with the first results because he didn’t get them until after 5pm the next day. So to spare myself the agony of waiting all weekend to find out, I stopped by medical records and signed a paper to get the beta results myself. Shew! It took over 4 hours to get them but I’m so glad I didn’t have to wait all weekend!
We told DH’s parents and sister and brother in law last night and we told my parents and siblings today. The news was beyond well received so that made me very happy. 🙂 
Thank You Dear God for a beautiful increase! Thank You for this precious baby. Please continue to sustain it’s life according to Your will. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

I posted this a few days ago with a password but all the people who needed to be told personally before I posted on here, have been. We still haven’t told most of our friends and family so if I know you in real life and you read this, just keep it quiet a bit longer. Thanks. 🙂 

Can you keep a secret? 

God has done it again! 

I am pregnant. 

“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” Psalm 113:9 

Let me start at the beginning. If you read my last post, you might recall that I had 2 follicles at my appointment with the RE where we were discussing why I didn’t ovulate on Femara. On that unmedicated cycle, lo and behold, I had 2 good-looking follicles. 

Isn’t it funny how God works? 

So, I went home and used OPKs and TI and hoped for the best. I felt really positive though. Which is weird for me because I’m usually a really realistic person. I just felt like I was being told “wait, I say, on the Lord.”

And you also might recall how Levi weaned a few weeks ago instead of nursing until he turned 2. I had asked God to let him nurse till he turned 2 if he was going to be my last baby. 

So anyway, Saturday, March 4th, I found myself in the bathroom trying not to throw up. My sister had spent the night and her and DH kept saying “Maybe you’re pregnant!” So even though I was only 6-7dpo, I took a test. 2 tests actually. I could almost believe I saw the faintest whisper of a line but…. seriously? 

Monday I tested again. Still thinking maybe?? But surely not. But…. There was certainly something there. 

Tuesday around noon I decided to test again with my last test. 9-10dpo. I prayed that if I was actually pregnant, that second line would be darker than that practically invisible line the night before. And it was!! It really didn’t sink in fully though. I called and asked for a beta, giving the disclaimer that these were just internet cheapies, and ran to WM to buy some $.88 tests. I paid for them and waltzed right into that restroom and took one. There it was! That second line! Faint, but undeniable! 

My RE’s office took their sweet time sending over the lab order (From when I called until the hospital recieved it, took almost 4 hours!) so I burned more time running in and out of stores looking for a CBD with Weeks Estimator. Turns out they are no longer being sold so I settled for a regular CBD… And took it. PREGNANT! That beautiful word. 

All day I was on the verge of happy tears. Hands shaking with nerves and excitement. I just kept thanking God and thinking about all the ways that He had this planned so perfectly. 

Finally I had my beta and progesterone drawn and rushed home to throw together the surprise for DH. An inconspicuous brown paper bag with a tiny onesie and 2 newborn diapers I bought during my time browsing the store. On top of that was a pile of Reese’s Eggs. And I bought a plain black t-shirt and painted the words “Papa Bear” on it and painted the sillohette of a big brown bear. 

When he came home, the boys met him at the door and Tru gave him the bag. At first he was just taking the eggs out but I prodded him to look furthing. He was shocked! I mean, this has happened before, but it still caught us by surprise. We were so infertile! We failed IVF before! But yet…for some reason, God in His abundant love and mercy, has blessed me with this great joy to know that there is life in me yet again. 

I told the boys. While they dont really understand it yet, they both say they want a baby “grill”, although Tru told the lady at the lab he wanted a grill and a boy. 😉 

Today, March 8th, I got the test results. Beta was 15 and progesterone was 17. The RE was not overly exuberant about those numbers, but I took another test today… actually, 2 more tests, and they appear to be getting darker. 

It’s all in God’s hands. He has brought us this far and I have to just trust Him. 

My RE wanted to make me wait till NEXT tuesday, a week after my first beta, for a follow up draw. I told him that, at the risk of seeming like a high-needs patient, I really wanted a draw on Friday before the weekend. I want to be able to tell my family wonderful news this weekend. I’ve only told my Grandma, my bestie and DH’s cousin who has been nothing but love and support every single step of the way. 

So anyway, he agreed to do a draw Friday and Tuesday. He also started me on Prometrium until my PIO gets here. He thought it was a weird request to ask for PIO over Prometrium but I like the less messy approach.

I hope to take the password off this post in a few days and repost it, so if you see it twice, that’s why. Thank you all for the support. Thank you for listening. 

Top: yesterday noon, middle: today am, bottom: this evening

jonsie13

living in the middle | navigating infertility

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