Archives for the month of: February, 2021

Last Tues , Feb 9th, I woke up a little earlier than usual but felt well rested and refreshed. I got up and cleaned the kids’ bedrooms and got lunch ready before my mom and brother came over to watch the kids while I went to my appointment. I convinced DH to go with me and work in the car, just in case. I had been having stronger contractions for the last 4 days but they were really far apart and would stop for hours at a time. I wasn’t sure what was going on. I felt like it would probably put me over the edge into active labor if the dr did a membrane sweep that day. I made sure to take my suitcase, camera and baby’s carseat.

This is what I’d been having for 4 days. The duration is inaccurate but the interval was very weird.

We arrived early to my appointment since it had snowed a bunch and I didn’t know what the roads would be like. I sat in the car and paid bills in advance “just in case” while I waited.

When the Dr came in I told her about the contractions and mused that I wondered if I was starting early labor. She said I was “3cm and 50% effaced… 4cm actually.” I asked if she could sweep the membranes and she started to but then said no, she was afraid my water would break either right then or after I left and that if it was after I left, I might not make it back to the hospital in time. Then she asked me “How would you feel about going to the hospital now?” I was pretty shocked because I hadn’t really thought of this scenario. I told her that I would do whatever she thought was best. So she stepped into the hall and asked the on-call dr “would you rather I send her over now or have her call you at 3am?” The on-call dr said now would be good. ๐Ÿ˜… So my ob came back in and said “having gone from 2cm to 4+cm since Fri”, she didn’t feel comfortable sending me home. I sent my mom a quick message at 3:11pm to let her know I wouldn’t be home today. She said she wasn’t expecting me to come home and she had brought her bags with her. ๐Ÿ˜

I got out to the van and asked DH (trying not to cry with all the nerves and excitement) “Are you ready to have a baby today?” He was pretty surprised too and it took a minute to set in. ๐Ÿ˜… We decided to grab a quick lunch from KFC before getting checked in and he notified his boss that he was clocking out a little early. I could only manage the Chicken Little sandwich for lunch but I’m glad I ate something.

We were checked in around 4:10pm but had to wait awhile for our room, so I’m not sure exactly when we got back there. The nurses came in to start my IV (4 attempts! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ) and get baby on the monitor. I was having contractions at this point a little more frequently and they were stronger than earlier but still probably 10-15+ minutes apart, I’m not really sure. Certainly not contractions that would have convinced me to head to the hospital if I’d been at home.

The dr came in to say hi and let me know the plan was to just break my water and let my body do the rest. I was so incredibly nervous, I just kept telling DH and the nurses that I didn’t know if or how I could do labor and I was just really getting worried about it. They kept trying to reassure me but not to much avail.

At 6:30pm the dr came back in and broke my water. I didn’t even feel her break it but suddenly there was gushing. She said I was 5cm and 70% effaced with baby at -2 station. So all the contractions I’d been having had made a difference! Then everyone left the room and I waited. And waited. 6:41pm came and still no contractions when mom texted to ask how it was going. I decided to rock in the rocking chair for awhile as that had always given me Braxton Hicks but nothing happened. DH suggested I get up and walk around the room but I didn’t want to leak everywhere. Nevertheless, I stood up and BAM, there were the contractions. Strong, frequent and lots of downward pressure. These contractions hurt across the area of my c section scar, just like with Zane. At 7:01pm I texted mom that the contractions were getting bad. I didn’t send any more messages after 7:04, it was all business after that. The nurses came in for shift change and I told our new nurse that I was going to try the shower. She brought me some ice and left us alone to labor in privacy. She was very sweet and good about giving us all the space.

I labored standing in the shower, leaning forward during the contractions with the water on my back, oftentimes with my left leg up on the seat. DH held my hand to keep the iv out of the water. We chatted between the contractions but during them I prayed, breathed/blowed and said “ok, ok, ok, ok” over and over like it was impossible to stop saying it. The pressure was really intense and I felt like I almost wanted to push already. DH was getting very nervous about me giving birth in the shower, so after much begging for me to get out, he finally convinced me to get checked around 7:45pm I think. I was soooo disappointed when the dr said I was 6cm and 80% effaced with baby at 0 station now. The contractions were so close and strong, I’d hoped for more progress even though it hadn’t been long. She said the pressure was because I was nearing transition and that the next time I called her in I’d probably be ready to push. She’s a very hyper and giggly personality and was so excited and positive about everything.

Straight back to the shower I went. This time I took the shower head and put it between my low back and the wall and leaned against it. DH left the bathroom to give me some time alone to focus. I forced myself to stop blowing through the contractions and just breathe normally. I mostly closed my eyes and prayed for God to help me through every contraction. I focused on all the tension in my body and tried to relax each area, especially my back, core, buttcheeks and thighs. It was one of the most mentally contradictory experiences of my life but when successful, I’d feel a slight relief in the pain vs staying tense. I didn’t have much concept of time but I knew I wanted to make it an hour before being checked again. It was weird and amazing but I was so focused, I could feel the baby moving down and rotating slowing from my right side to the middle. I could feel him pushing himself downward with his feet during contractions, working with my body. I’d never experienced that before, maybe because I’d never been that focused before. DH came to check on me around 8:30pm and thought the contractions had stopped but actually I was in the midst of a several minutes long contraction that I thought would never end. It felt like a turning point for me and the urge to push became stronger. I kept trying to tell myself, just one more contraction, let’s see how the next one goes. At some point I decided “I want to enjoy this experience, not hate it, so I’m going to get the epidural”. The urge to push was strong now, which is unusual for me as I usually don’t have much urge at any point.

I called for DH to help me get out of the shower even though every fiber of my being wanted to stay in there. He called for the nurse and the dr came in too. Standing through a contraction on my way to the bed was unbearable. I told her I was ready for the epidural now but she said “Ok, but I think you’re ready to have the baby. Just let me get some gloves on although I will catch your baby barehanded if I need to.” I looked at the clock on the wall as I got in the bed and it was 8:44pm. The nurse commented that the baby had a change in his baseline heart rate and I felt guilty for all the hot water in the shower possibly stressing him out. The dr said he did have a shift but it’s ok, he will be out in a few minutes.

Once gloved, the dr said I was ready to push with a little cervical lip on the right side but it would go away as I pushed. I rolled to my right side for a couple contractions to try to get rid of the lip while they quickly rushed to set up the room as nothing was ready yet. Then I moved to a semi sitting position and began pushing. *side note: I learned from this that I really prefer pushing with stirrups to rest my legs in. They didn’t set the bed up this time and I missed having the stirrups to rest my legs in vs putting my feet on the bed. It felt counter-productive and like it wasn’t opening my pelvis properly.* My first few pushes I was afraid to really bare down, so they were wimpy but I pulled my legs to my chest after that and asked DH and the nurse to help me and with a couple more pushes, Destin’s head was out. I felt so relieved as all my babies slid out after the head was born, but nope, not Destin. The dr said I needed to push as hard as I could and she was pulling so hard, it scared me as I realized his shoulder was stuck. The nurse quickly laid the bed flat and he popped free and they laid him crying and pink on my chest. The relief was immense and the pain was 100% washed away. Just completely gone. I just kept thanking God. After begging Him to help me just minutes before, I was so blessed to have my beautiful baby out and the pain over. 8:55pm. Just 2 hours and 25 minutes after my water was broken.

DH cut the cord after a couple minutes. It was a beautiful spiraling dark purple cord. I remember thinking it was so cool looking. A few minutes later and I felt the cramping for the placenta and the dr remarked that it was huge. Then she declared we were all done and I could just enjoy my baby now. Unfortunately, no sooner did she say that than I felt gushing. Pitocin was started in my iv and a cytotec suppository inserted but the dr, through apologies, had to manually hunt down the source – a “film”, just a tiny piece of membrane that broke off somehow. Thankfully she had acted fast and the hemorrhage wasn’t too severe. I was shaking a lot and felt a little off but nowhere near how bad I’d felt when I hemorrhaged with Levi.

Destin latched right away after I was able to sit up again and nursed for basically the whole first hour on both sides. He even latched himself the second time and was a total natural. DH called our family on video chat and we showed the boys their newest brother. After a couple hours we moved to our recovery room and got settled in for the night. It was around midnight I think. I managed a few hours here and there of sleep but wasn’t really too exhausted since I’d slept well the night before. Thank God. All those prayers for me to be rested going into the birth were answered!

The next morning the nurse came in to tell us that Destin had a borderline bilirubin level and needed to be put on the light and bili blanket to be proactive. He did great though. It was good that he had started taking a binky within the first couple hours of birth, so that helped soothe him. That second night went well and I think he only woke to eat 2 or 3 times. I actually got pretty good sleep. Sometime in the night the nurse removed the light and just left the bili blanket. The next morning his bilirubin was stable, so they took him off the blanket also to see how he did for the day. By his evening check the bilirubin had rose a bit but they said since my milk had come in and he was eating, pooping and peeing well, we could go home if we got his level checked again the next day (and the day after that, as it turned out). So we went home about 46 hours after birth. Thankfully even though his bilirubin level rose, it stayed below the level to need treatment. Today his eyes are finally less yellow. ๐Ÿ™‚

The boys were so excited to meet their brother and have been so loving and not at all jealous. They’ve really embraced their new bro and declared him the cutest baby ever. ๐Ÿ˜Š He fits in like he was always destined to be. โค๏ธ

I’m just so thankful for how everything went. If I’d gone into labor the next day, we would have had a very hard time getting to the hospital as we got hit with a lot of snow. If I’d had the baby in the car if my water had broke at home, what would I have done if he got stuck? Not to mention the hemorrhage. And I couldn’t have managed a 1.5 hour car ride with that intense labor. So many what ifs. I was so discouraged about not going into labor at home but it ended up being for our safety. I’m so thankful to the Lord for His protection and to my ob for her wisdom. ๐Ÿ˜Š Most of all I’m thankful that Destin made it out safely and that we have recovered so well. I had no tearing and very little discomfort other than after pains. Not going to lie, those cramps were BAD. ๐Ÿ˜… We’ve settled into our routine at home now and it’s crazy and bittersweet to think that whole pregnancy and birth is already behind us.

Hopefully I can post about our first week at home soon. ๐Ÿ™‚


Here we are already over a week old and I haven’t posted an announcement yet! Destin arrived last week at 38+4, a couple days before our induction was scheduled. Hopefully I can get his birth story typed up soon. It was a fast one! 7lbs 12oz and 20ยพ” long.

He’s doing great and we are in a good groove at home now. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanking God for such a sweet and beautiful new son!

First, the tale of the false labor:

After I posted my last update at 37+4, I went to make supper and started having contractions. It was around 5:30pm and by 7pm I decided to start timing them. They were coming about every 10 minutes at that point. As I got the kids ready for bed, they were 5-7 minutes apart. They stayed that way most of the evening and weren’t too intense, so I decided to go to bed around 11pm and see what would happen and I think they spaced out a little more. I was in and out of bed and all over the house trying to decide if this was the real deal. By 1am the contractions were 2-5 minutes apart and I thought it might be time to wake up DH and call my mom to watch the kids. I tried laying down again to see what would happen and suddenly the contractions were more like 12 minutes apart, so I didn’t wake anyone up afterall. By 3am, they completely stopped. Like totally gone. Needless to say, I woke up exhausted in the morning from being up most of the night. Thankfully I got a nap with Zane in the afternoon but oh my, so disappointing to think it was the real thing and have it just 100% stop. ๐Ÿ˜“

Anyway, fake annoying labor aside, this week has been pretty draining physically and mentally but I am really happy that I’ve had several nights of great sleep (great for 9 months pregnant, that is ๐Ÿ˜‰). I had my checkup and nst a couple days ago and it went alright. I had woken up around 5am and realized that I didn’t know when I’d last felt the baby move but I hadn’t felt him at bedtime which is usually an active time for him. After trying to get him to move by poking at my belly for awhile, I went to rock in the family room. Usually he kicks when I rock. Still nothing though, so I ate a snack to see if that would wake him up and FINALLY he moved a few times. So when my appointment rolled around in the morning, I was really hoping for a reassuring nst. Unfortunately, he had to be buzzed to get an acceleration and never had a decel, so I left feeling less reassured than I’d hoped. The dr felt confident that he was fine though and I just need to be watchful with kick counts in the meantime.

Naturally the appointment also involved a cervix check. I think she said a stretchy 2cm, soft and 50% effaced. She gave an aggressive membrane sweep in the hopes that I will go into labor before the induction. I had absolutely zero cramping from it though, so in my mind it seemed unlikely that it would be successful. The dr remarked that it didn’t have a certain “cobwebby” feel that usually makes her think it will be successful. I have no idea what that means but it didn’t instill a lot of confidence that I’ll have spontaneous labor. *(I’m continually trying to remind myself that I’m only 38 weeks and my body and baby might not be ready, despite the induction looming in the near future.)* That was around 11:30am. By evening I had some bl**dy show and a few strong contractions, but they were very far apart. Overnight I woke up a few times with contractions and had lots of cramping in the morning but by afternoon, it was quiet in there again. Definitely a lot of pelvic pressure though. I guess we will see what happens! It’s supposed to snow for over 24 hours straight the day before and day of the induction, so I’m feeling concerned that we might not be able to get to the hospital that morning. :/ Ugh, stupid winter.

Let’s see, what else….

  • Last time I checked I was up 46lbs I think
  • Froze a couple more prepped meals
  • The baby’s bed is set up and ready
  • My hospital bag is packed full of snacks and I can’t *not* eat them ๐Ÿ˜…
  • DH is nesting so bad this time. He can’t stop painting things. He’s literally painted our entire house and is touching things up constantly ๐Ÿ˜‚
  • I can’t tell if I have any new stretch marks but I’m still being really good about putting on my lotions and balms
  • My belly is definitely smaller than with some of my kids, despite my biggest weight gain of all time. I can’t wait to see how big baby is!
  • Getting very very nervous about labor ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

My one and only nst with this pregnancy. It was great listening to his heartbeat. ๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ

I had a lovely pedicure. I love the color and it was so nice to do something relaxing while I wait on this child.

Actually 37+6 but close enough. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Dear God, thank You for another week down and being so close to the end! Please bless us with a safe, healthy, happy birth. If it’s Your will, a spontaneous labor would be great too. In Jesus’ name, amen.

The week wherein I am DONE!

Seriously guys, I was chugging along just great until the last week. All of a sudden I wake up in the mornings in despair (sounds so dramatic but accurate) because I still have over a week to go and I don’t feel like I can make it. Or actually, to be more accurate, I’m quite sure I’ll make it but I don’t want to suffer through the final days. The pelvic pain has increased to a point where I actually wake up and cry every morning. It takes me about 2 hours after getting out of bed to get the pain to a manageable level. Sitting on the yoga ball, taking a hot shower and generally a good cry are really my only coping mechanisms right now. And also the morning sickness is pretty constant now, so that’s tough too. I’m not trying to complain, I’m just being real with y’all. This week has sucked and I’m over it. I can’t believe women do this to 42+ weeks sometimes. I really don’t think I would survive another month and I’m quite serious about that. Either I’m a serious wimp or there are some unicorn pregnancies out there that I haven’t experienced.

Last week I was still in the “I’m really looking forward to meeting the baby but not ready just yet” mindset. This week I’m so preoccupied with the pain that I’ve kind of forgotten there is a baby and I just want the misery to be over with. (Again, just being real.) It’s sad because I feel like my pregnancies tend to end on a note where I’m no longer feeling excited to meet the baby as much as I’m so focused on just not being in pain. (Sorry, it’s just how it is.) I was so looking forward to being able to get in to see the chiropractor yesterday in the hopes he could help. He was out of the office most of last week, so I feel like I’ve already been waiting forever. Lo and behold, we got hit with snow several times over the weekend and he wasn’t able to make it to the office, so my appointment got rescheduled for NEXT WEEK! ๐Ÿ˜ญ I’m trying now to see if I can get a massage appointment in the meantime.

Anyway, even though it’s hard to focus on anything other than my hips, restless legs, heartburn, nausea, lower back and pelvis right now, there are other things going on in my life. I was really excited to squeeze in a hair appointment last week to get highlights done. It turned out great and I love it. ๐Ÿ˜ It made me feel slightly less frumpy, which is important right now. ๐Ÿ˜‚

My to-do list has shrunk to almost nothing. I could freeze a few more meals if I really get bored but there’s nothing vital left to do. Water some plants, pay some bills in advance – that sort of thing. I’m really happy about that. The older boys have been a great help with checking stuff off. For a small fee of $.25 – $1 they will gladly do all the weird things that have to be done before it’s permissible in my mind to bring the baby home – wiping down cabinets, washing the kitchen chairs, wiping the couches (leather) and so on. They’re saving up for walkie talkies, so they’re pretty pumped for money making opportunities. ๐Ÿคฃ It’s a lucrative business but I think everyone is a bit tired of me being pregnant. I’m also feeling over the nesting phase now, so I’m kind of just feeling blah about cleaning. Nesting was fun; I actually wanted to clean. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Levi has taken to praying for me to “go in labor tonight” and Tru says he can’t wait to see the baby’s face. I have to temper everyone’s excitement with reminders that Destin’s lungs might need a little more time. Meanwhile, Zane just hugs my belly with sadness in his eyes and questions me constantly about Destin “popping you belly out”. He’s been slightly less worried since we looked at the boys’ baby pics and videos last week. All the boys were very interested in discussing the umbilical cords and Tru remarked in disgust about me holding Quayd while he was still “all covered in goo”, a moment I didn’t get to have with Tru since he was c section and I’m still sad about the delay in getting to hold him. ๐Ÿ˜ข

It’s weird to not have an update about a checkup this week but I delayed my appointment so I could do the pre-induction covid test on the same day (as I think I mentioned last week). Hoping and praying my cervix is more favorable for induction at this next appointment than it was last week. ๐Ÿ™ I’m feeling a lot of anxiety surrounding the lack of sleep I know I’ll have going in for the induction first thing in the morning. How am I supposed to sleep the night before when I’m a ball of nerves?? But despite having a lot of “show” over the weekend, nothing at all is going on now, so I’m thinking I probably won’t go into labor before then. :/ When I went into labor with Quayd, I had a lot more pre-labor symptoms going on than I do now. I really really wish I would though. It’s so much easier on my body. I’m praying!

Quayd has no idea he’s about to lose his seat. ๐Ÿ˜‚

37 weeks

Dear God, thank You for another week closer to meeting our baby. Please help us through these final days to stay healthy and safe. I pray that Destin will come out at the right time. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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