Archives for the month of: July, 2013

      Ah, this is going to be weird. I warn you now. I’m running on maybe 3 hours sleep. I’ve also been sitting in my hubby’s car at his work for over half an hour. I still have a half hour to go. You see, my car…. I hate it. Its having major and I do mean MAJOR problems! If I told you what its doing, you wouldn’t believe me. So I’m not going to tell you. (Its a bunch of blah blah blah, weird car talk, BLAH!!) Why is it picking now to give me fits? It overheard that I wanted to sell it. And thus begins the end of another weird car relationship. Just once I would like to sell a car without some major weird/scary/life threatening thing happening first. I bawled my head off over it last night which, looking back, was a bad choice. Because now my eyes burn from lack of sleep and crying probably didn’t help either. DH was highly frustrated at me crying over a car. Truth is, I don’t NEED this bill. I don’t WANT this problem right now! I’m a whiny baby!! Wahhhhh!
     So we had to share today. Which meant getting up at 4:30am, driving an hour to DH’s work, sitting an hour in his car in the parking lot – oddly enough next to someone else sitting in their car hence the awkward! Actually to clarify, I was laying in the passenger seat really hoping to catch some shut eye. That wasn’t happening. So I popped up like a gopher and realized someone was in the other car next to me and had likely seen me trying to situate my pillows ect for who knows how long! From here I head my famished self off to Hospital 1 for a lovely 2 hour glucose tolerance test. Then after a few hours of that fun, I head off to Hospital 2 for a fun filled 1 hour wait for an ultrasound. Then another short wait for an OB appointment. All the appointment fun kicks off at 7:30am and doesn’t end until 11:30 at the earliest. Then off to my RE’s office to donate unused meds. Don’t worry, I won’t be “that stupid pregnant lady who goes to her RE’s office 7 months pregnant and farting rainbows. Its raining. And regardless that it will likely be 80some degrees by then, I promise if I can without looking like I’ve lost my mind, I will wear a hoodie.
       Then! The plan is after all this Lord willing, to go to my hubs cousin’s house to wait till he gets off work. Then pick him up and if I’m a really good girl we might even get to finally use the $25 Olive Garden gift card my parents gave us for our anniversary!!
Ok…. now sitting at the lab waiting for the second and third blood draws. My veins are crying. My butt will be too I imagine after 2 more hours of sitting here. The orange drink was gross. Thick, flat, and the sweetest nectar… I thought I was a hummingbird. I swear they would love it. Every time I took a drink baby boy stretched and wiggled. Whether it had something to do with the drink I dont know but I have a feeling he hated it too. I’m not feeling good in my tummy now. 😦 Hope I don’t toss my cookies.
I’m procrastinating. I need to be writing up my list of questions for the dr. I know I’ll forget what they are once I get there. The problem is my brain has serious “on the spot anxiety” and it will freeze up when I need it. Even once it sees that I have pulled out pen and paper so whats the use?!
I was having a great project week getting stuff done. I haven’t been home much the last few days but when I am home I find myself nesting. As in DH and I spent the day Saturday cleaning out cabinets, hanging blinds, I washed curtains. I also have the changing table just about done. It needs paint touch ups in a few spots. It looks a billion times better than it did. The crib is almost fully sanded down. I canned 4 pints of bananna peppers. They turned out mushy and gross. I read online to use Pickle Crisp by Ball so I hope to give that a try in a few days. There is all kinds of canning I want to get done in the next couple weeks Lord willing. We shall see what I get done. I have so much motivation right now and I start off full of energy but then my body fizzels out but my brain is like “You can do it! Come on! Its ok to overdo it!” Uhhh no.
Yesterday I went to see a friend. I had a great time! It was awesome to see her and my sis and niece who also went. I stood quite a bit. Bad choice. Then I was getting so hot. Afterwards I went to the nursing home to visit another friend. They had no seats in the room! I stood for around 45 mins before being unbelievably nauseated and almost blacking out. I actually sat on the floor in the nursing home. 😦 I was not feeling better so I left. I ended up staying lightheaded and sick so I pulled over because I was afraid to drive. I just laid there for awhile before going home. I felt sick all evening. That was fun. I guess I should listen to my dr and get some belly support. I’m usually ok when moving but standing in one spot just cuts my circulation off too bad.
Ok that’s enough whining. Its actually not that bad AND its all worth it. 🙂 Man! I never thought I would look forward to a blood draw. Yeah, my butt officially hurts. 😉
Dear God, thank You for this day. I pray that You will protect this precious little baby and I pray that all our appointments will go well and that this little baby will get the care that it needs to continue growing well and healthy. Please continue to keep us safe and healthy. In Jesus name, amen.

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       Thanks for all of the nice comments folks! I’m enjoying reading up on new blogs this week. It really sucks that I still can’t comment on blogspot blogs. That’s what I get for only having crappy phone internet. I hope I get it figured out soon. I’ve been successful at it a couple times.
       I picked up my beagle today from his manhood removal surgery. (Neutering) He did well. He’s hurting now, I can tell but I’m hoping its a good thing we got him fixed. He has a tenacy to every once in a great while grab a guests leg. NOT COOL!! Talk about embarrassing. Hopefully this helps that problem. I remember 2 years ago when I had my female dog, I felt horrible to get her fixed. It seemed so unfair to take away her fertility without her having a say so in the matter. I felt that was what had happened to me. Might seem silly to feel that way about getting a dog fixed but I sure did. (I was also extremely jealous when my guppie fish started having little baby guppies, but that’s a story for another day – or not.) 

Warning :  tmi alert. Scars for life could occur! – Not really.
       Yesterday I lost my 4th, yep that’s right FOURTH, mucus plug. Because you wanted to know. I had a feeling it was going to happen yet again. 3 times after being intimate with the hubby, 24 hours later, bam. Mucus plug. The other time was just a fluke I guess. It didn’t happen the times we used protection (because we thought we might give it a try that way) so… hmmmm. Of course this adds to our fear level. We have been intimate only maybe 8 times since embryo transfer. Partly because we were restricted, then because we were/are scared. (Other reasons not worthy of being mentioned here.) Its stupid I guess, but we don’t want to take chances. So… no more of that! It scares us too much.
        Been busy the last few days. I had to run a lot of errands. I’m also working on sanding and refinishing the crib. I decided to keep it. Its actually very pretty. But it has to be refinished because the previous owners baby was a beaver. I’ve never in my life seen teeth marks like that from a human! Scary. But hopefully I’m good at this. Its my first furniture refinishing project of this nature. Also trying to get the changing table painted sometime. Our porch is full of baby furniture. It looks remarkably like a nursery. I wonder if people worry that we keep the baby out there? Not really. Still on the lookout for a dresser. Maybe I’ll get some pictures posted sometime.
      Have to get to bed now. Until next time…
       Dear God thank You for this beautiful day. Thank You for this beautiful baby! Please guard and protect him in my womb. I pray that he will grow strong and healthy. In Jesus name, amen

     

I came across this blog post and found it very interesting! I often felt I was doing something wrong because I couldn’t “just relax”. (Until I learned of our very substantial issues.) Anyways, I wanted to reblog it because I feel it gives hope to couples trying or “not trying”. Enjoy!

the infertile chemist

This post was primarily inspired by a recent, lovely post by Jane at Mine to Command who confronted the myth that stress causes infertility. She delves into the medical literature on the subject, so I won’t provide my own (undoubtedly less eloquent) rehashing of what she’s said there. Go read it! Then come back, if you like.

The myth that stress causes infertility is a pervasive one. And, its logical consequence – namely, that infertiles should “Just relax, and you’ll get pregnant – has lead to a laundry list of charming little chestnuts of advice including:

  • Just adopt, and you’ll get pregnant.
  • Go on vacation, and you’ll get pregnant.
  • Get drunk, and you’ll get pregnant.
  • Don’t try so hard, and you’ll get pregnant.

and so on…

This myth originated – and continues to be fueled – by the observation that indeed many infertile couples get pregnant 

View original post 1,867 more words

      Today is our 5 year wedding anniversary. Also since we started TTC right away, its been 5 years that I’ve been waiting on our baby. So thankful for a little bun in the oven today.
       DH called me on his lunch break. Somehow, instead of a nice romantic chat, we started talking about when it comes time to TTC #2. I don’t think he quite gets the gravity of the situation as far as his count, and morphology being so low, if it was to drop any lower he would be sterile. He was understanding that fine before our ivf cycle, but now with the relief of having a little blessing on the way, he seems to have forgotten.
      So DH wants to try natural for awhile. (And yes, I do realize we are getting WAY ahead of ourselves here. First of all, I’m thankful for this one baby. I would love to have him a sibling(s) but I realize how blessed anyone who gets to have a baby is. I’m not getting greedy!) My argument to him was that while trying natural might be easy for him, it isn’t for me. First, due to lovely MTHFR mutation, I can’t just wait my 2 weeks. I have to take lovenox injections daily if we try naturally during every 2ww or its pointless to even try at all. Mthfr in my case equals no implantion without blood thinner and baby asprin. And God’s grace! For me TTC naturally also means BBT, and OPKs so I would know when to start lovenox. Ugh!! I told him, ivf is easier. Of course, he thought I was nuts! But it is! I get all tense just thinking of having to try naturally. Its way more work because its every month for eons! I put in over 4 years of that already. Sex becomes a timed, forced chore. You live and die by the OPK.  And for what? We already know his morphology is 0-4%. We can’t even do regular ivf because his spermies can’t fertilze an egg without being injected into it via needle. We know this.
       I have no idea why this is bothering me so much. I guess because right now, I want to enjoy being pregnant. Not thinking about TTC.  That’s been my life for 4 and 1/2 years until finally at long last I got pregnant. I don’t want to go back to that h-e-double hockey sticks until I’m good and ready and have enjoyed my little baby. I want to breastfeed and not be temping and charting. And when/if we try again, (which as I said before, we may not have 4 – 5 more years to waste on naturally ttc because of that ever decreasing sperm count) I want it to be with as little stress as possible. Maybe for me, that is ivf. Odd as that sounds.
       So, hopefully our anniversary isn’t wrecked now by our stressful debate WHICH WE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HAVING ANY TIME SOON!!! I guess this is what happens when years are spent planning your life around getting pregnant. It becomes so second nature you forget to just step back and enjoy not having to think about it for awhile.
      Im sorry this was long and boring and if I offended anyone I’m sorry. I know a lot of women would die to be in my shoes today. And the truth is, I guess I’m just upset that anyone was trying to pull me from my happy little pregnancy world back into that stressful ttc world I only recently got to take a little vacation from.

      Welcome back ICLW readers. Once again I’m really enjoying finding new blogs to read and meeting new people. I appreciate all the comments and well wishes. I’m having some technical problems again. Yesterday I tried commenting on several Blogspot blogs but my comment would just disappear. I don’t know what the issue was but I hope its better today. Anyways, thanks for stopping by! God bless.

       Man, is it hot! It is so hot out. It took so long for summer to get here and now that it is, its here with a vengeance. Its beautiful to see all the flowers bloomed out and everything green. But its too hot to be outside. We had a heat advisory yesterday and today. That’s always fun. It was in the 90’s but felt like 108° according to my handy dandy app. I worry about my dad and FIL out working in this heat. We don’t have A/C in either car and I nearly got sick driving to town yesterday. (About a 20 min drive where we went.) Ok, enough whining now. The heat sure beats sitting under my house with a hair drier in the middle of the night because the pipes have froze… again.
        I’m ready to re-home my ferrets. I’ve never re-homed a single pet I’ve ever had. I always keep them until they die of this or that. But I only love my ferrets in the winter. In the winter they hardly smell at all. I don’t have to clean their cage every 5 minutes around the clock to keep from attracting flies ect. In the summer they are stinky and I’m just not up to those smells this year. So, as much as I don’t want to, I need to find them a new home. I want them to stay together. I think they are way too attached and would be too sad apart. Here’s the problem…. someone I know is really interested in having them. I won’t post details about why here but that ain’t gonna happen! I now can’t post on FB about finding them a home either because this person would possibly see it and be like “Me! Me!” and I can’t say “No way!” *Sigh* There is a part of me that wants to find them a new home versus just keeping them until they die of this or that or (hopefully) old age. I don’t want to go through that! I’m way to attached.
      Baby boy is hanging out in the same spot for a week and a half now. He’s laying with his back on my left side and his feet and legs along my right side like a “V”. He’s in this position breech. Its causing a tender spot up near his head. Now, if he’s fine and comfy like this then that’s fine with me. But I hope he does get into a better position for birthing before he gets too big. He’s still hiccuping at least 3 times a day and another 3-4 throughout the night. Its definitely a schedule.
     His movement feels different to me. Its less kicking and punching and more little swoops and swishes. I love the big kicks though. I wonder if they will come back if he moves. I only feel feet now and then.
       I’m definitely having more BH contractions. I was on the monitor at the hospital the other day and I had so many they were worried it was preterm labor. I had them every couple minutes but they only lasted around 10 seconds. I definitely have longer ones too. I drink plenty of water but its that irritable uterus thing I’ve had all along.
      DH and I went to an amusement park during the weekend. It was super fun. I couldn’t ride rides or anything but we did go on a paddle boat on a pond they have there and a tiny motorized boat that goes super slow but it was fun. It was all paid for by his job. They had a work party. It was so nice of them. They paid for parking, rides, unlimited drinks, snacks, ice cream, snow cones, lunch… It was nice out that day and I only got a very slight sun burn.
     I can’t believe we are at 26 weeks! I have so much to do/get for baby. I finished my registry! My mom and sisters have planned a shower for us which they asked to host at my house. That is fine with me so I don’t have to carry stuff back home afterwards. I do want to get the baby room more put together by then though. The shower is planned for 2 and a half weeks from now. I need to get the crib we were given assembled, find out if it works. If not get rid of it. If it does, it needs painted. The changing table needs painted. Stuff is piled right now in a baby tub in his room. It needs sorted and possibly put away. In other words, I may have a honey do list for DH this weekend. 😉 I made a few party decorations. I also should probably get started on a menu since I told mom I could make food for the party so she wouldn’t be out so much. Exciting!!! Then, my MIL is wanting to do a shower in September too!
        I have to clean up the house a little to make it look like I was busy today while DH was at work. *Wink, wink.* Thanks for reading.
         Dear God, thank You for getting us safely through another week. Please bless this precious little baby and keep us both safe and healthy. In Jesus name, amen.
    

      Just a quick weekly update. Symptoms lately vary so much from day to day. A few days ago I spent several hours cleaning, scrubbing, and basically detailing my car. (I’m hoping to sell it a.s.a.p. because DH is really, really wanting a (get this) minivan! I know. Not your average 23 yr  old guys dream vehicle right? But he does want one so I told him if it really means that much to him why don’t we sell my car and he can use that money to get a van and we will hopefully break even and not be out any money.) Ok, that was way off topic of symptoms. Where I was headed with that is I’m at that stage of pregnancy that every so often, I don’t notice the belly or really feel pregnant. That’s how it was when I was cleaning my car. I had to keep reminding myself that baby probably doesn’t love being squished when I bend over for long amounts of time scrubbing the floor. In fact I know he doesn’t like it because he pokes me. Then I have other days that I feel fat and uncomfortable and can totally tell there is indeed a real person in there. Just depends on the day. Other symptoms are: getting lightheaded, blacking out, out of breath, sore ligaments, and other normal come and go pregnancy stuff. The pressure seems to be, dare I say it, basically gone. Must be his position. He has started hiccuping a lot! Its like he’s on a schedule. At least 3 times a day.
     My family is trying to plan my baby shower and they have a date set and are waiting for me to fill out my registry so they can mail invitations. I don’t think I’m going to go to a lot of trouble on my registry though. I think usually people just get you what they want to get and that’s fine by me. I guess the registry can be there if they need ideas, otherwise, its fun to see what people think of / recommend. I already have quite a few “must have” items that people have already got for the little guy like car seats, stroller, bath tub, carrier, possibly a crib, and a few other things.
     Well, I have some things I need to do today so that’s all for now.
      God, thank You for this day and for this baby and the blessing of enjoying these last 6 months. Please watch over this little one in Jesus name, amen.

    I’m upset today. This isn’t going to be a pretty post. This is what pregnancy after infertility is like for me. And its safe to say that a lot of other women who have gone through infertility and finally concieved probably feel similar. When you first get that positive test, its a flood of joy and hope. I always thought if I could just get pregnant I wouldn’t ever have to worry about infertility again. Prior to getting pregnant, I never worried about what would happen afterwards mostly because I really didn’t know if I would ever have that positive test. My concern was just never getting pregnant. Well 4 and a half billion years later, I got a positive beta after my second IVF. (Just a little history for those just now chiming in). I felt soooo thankful. So shocked. So excited. Within hours though, I was completely overcome with fear. Not fear of being pregnant or fear of being a mother but just shear, paralysing fear that now my baby(s) would be taken from me. And at this point, I loved them already and would have done ANYTHING to keep them alive. I found out at my 8 week ultrasound that 2 of my 3 transfered embabies had lived, grown for a few weeks and then stopped. My one little baby was still growing. I knew for whatever reason, the other 2 were gone and that made me want to hold on even tighter to the one remaining baby. I didn’t trust my body at all. I don’t and I never will. I’ve been let down too many times and my uterus is not what I consider a safe haven for a developing baby. Every cramp, every twinge, lack of symptoms, moving fast, not moving enough, what I ate… it all left me terrified. Then there was the spotting. I don’t expect anybody to feel sorry for me that I couldn’t “relax and enjoy being pregnant”. A stressful pregnancy is far better than no pregnancy at all and I’ve been infinitely grateful to have a baby to worry about these 6 months. I hope it stays with me and I get to continue being pregnant until its full term or safe enough to be born. I am however angry. Angry that I can’t get comfortable in this pregnancy. Angry that I love this baby more than anyone in this entire world but that I can’t bring myself to think positive thoughts about this pregnancy or the future. I’m mad that I havent been able to take the few items we bought (which was like pulling teeth to bring myself to just buy something for the baby) and remove the tags and hangers. I’m upset that I say things so guardedly. Like “if all goes well”, or “the plan is”, “hopefully”, or when the receptionist at the OB’s office tried to schedule my appointment for 2 months in advance that I told her we would cross that bridge when (if) we came to it. (This kind of talk will get you weird looks by the way.) I do enjoy being pregnant. That’s part of the problem. I’m afraid it will end too soon. I’m happy and excited about the baby. But I haven’t been brave enough to be excited about him being on the outside. Everytime he doesn’t move enough or moves too much or hiccups or his heartbeat sounds slow or fast, I think worst case scenario. I call my mom crying. I get stressed out and can’t function until things are back to “normal” which never lasts long because pregnancy is unpredictable. I never plan anything more than a half hour in advance. If we want to go somewhere, I usually wait to see how my current state of freaking out is before leaving. I haven’t stopped checking for blood 20 times a day. I probably ignore the things other pregnant women worry about. Those things seem petty. Someone said the other day “You didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl did you? Just as long as its healthy!” I thought to myself “Heck, who’s being picky?! As long as he’s alive!” Its strange to me that my pregnant cousin is riding a horse in a RODEO during pregnancy. I was scared to ride in a CAR in the beginning. I try to stay busy so I don’t have time to worry. Epic fail! I worry more because I’m not having enough time to feel his kicks and make sure he’s moving enough. I nearly flipped out at a baby shower because the mother said multiple times that her baby better be a girl. I thought “It better be alive! That’s all you can hope for. Aren’t you worried asking for more will tick off the powers of fate?” I don’t want to trade even one day of this pregnancy for anything. Every time I get 5 minutes of reassurance, its a miracle but I wouldn’t trade all this worry for anything. I’m sometimes jealous other women get to have worry-free (or at least not worry-consumed) pregnancies, but going through infertility has just made me appreciate every day and every minute with this baby more. I don’t really want what they have because this is the pregnancy I was meant to have. This worry is wrong though. I know I should be trusting God more and believe me, I really do try my best. I feel my body has let me down already in this pregnancy when I lost the other 2 babies and its hard to believe anything good. But I do try. Really I do. I know the pessimism isn’t going to help this baby. And I feel guilty to think of it in such guarded ways. I’m ready to do my baby shower registry but scared at the same time. This isn’t helping my baby. Its not helping me. Worrying about things out of my hands isn’t productive. God forgive me for my bad attitude and doubtfullness. This is pregnancy after infertility. This is pregnancy after every single reproductive thing going wrong. This is what its like when you know this might be your only go at pregnancy and when getting pregnant again wouldn’t be easy if it even were possible. This is what its like when that pregnancy innocence has been stolen by years of grief and let downs. Ignorance might be bliss. I don’t know. I’m not like other fertile pregos who either read the “complications of pregnancy” section of their pregnancy book and think “that won’t happen to me” or else they just don’t read it because they’re so darn confident. I read it and figured “Everything bad happened while concieving this baby. I know I’m not above devastation now. I know this stuff has to happen to somebody.” This baby is well worth every minute of worry and every second of fear. He’s worth all these years of trying and failing and pressing on and every single penny we spent trying to get help and finally, at long, long last – that positive beta. Those 2 pink lines. He’s worth every single tear I’ve cried and every prayer I’ve prayed. Maybe I will only be able to take this pregnancy one day at a time and just focus on enjoying the here and now and not trying to look ahead and plan the future. The future is up to God. Its my job to just take one moment at a time. God, I pray that You will be with me and this baby every moment and every day. Please lead us safely through this pregnancy. Please guard this baby from harm. Please put a hedge of protection around this baby and keep him safe no matter what. In Jesus name, amen.

     We had our 24 week appointment today. DH got to go with because he was off today because of the 4th of July. Happy Independence Day everyone! We also had our fetal heart echo. Can I just say… baby boy has a cute heart! All went well and he has no sign of heart defects. His heartrate was 153 during the scan and 138 with the doppler in the office. He was being active at the scan. 😉 I was a little miffed because I didn’t get a cervical length check today . The dr said it had looked good last time with no funneling which is appearently more important than the length. I get that, but still. Having them check one last time at 25-26 weeks might have given me some peace of mind. But ya know, I’m going to do my best not to worry. The pressure is still very much there. 3 weeks now. But it eased up a little for a few days when baby turned breach. So maybe he has a good ol hard head like his mommy. And his daddy to be quite fair. 😉 The dr informed me that they want to do a growth scan on baby at 28 weeks and again at 32 and 36. This wasn’t in the original “plan”. Originally they weren’t planning to check growth until 32 weeks and then that was it. So I wondered why the change in plans. He didn’t say anything out of the ordinary and I should have asked but I didn’t. Maybe its because my tummy measured ahead last month? I didn’t get the measurement from today but when it comes to a couple extra check ups on baby, I’m not complaining! 🙂
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I already put this on my gallery page, but he’s just too cute!

He did the cutest thing yesterday. His daddy was laying his head on my tummy and baby kept kicking at his ear. Then DH would move his head somewhere else and baby would kick there. All over. They played their little game and every time DH would lift his head, baby would stop kicking. It was so precious!

DH is painting the kitchen this weekend. I can’t wait to see it all done! We moved in a year ago and we are still slowly but surely adding our personal touches and improvements. Lowe’s loves us. They better anyways! Paint was $5 off on sale and DH had a 4 day weekend. I never realized how dirty our kitchen wallpaper was until he started prepping. Of course, I washed the walls when we moved in but this is mostly just grease and grime from the previous owners both being single men. I will say one thing for them both though. They kept this house really nice aside from the dirt. No holes or dents in the walls, no bad odors ect. Its a place you can really enjoy fixing up!
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“Why do you guys keep ruining all the rooms?”
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I was having a tremendous pain in my left side over the last 4 days. Its still there a little. I woke up one night around 1-2am in serious pain. I got back to sleep but by 2:47am I was on the couch in the living room feeling horrible! By 4:30am I was thinking “Oh no! Is this preterm labor?” The pain was all on my left though and shooting into my thigh and back almost to my ribs. It continued in variable degrees of severity for days without stopping. Sometimes I couldn’t walk or lay down. I started to think “Could it be that I’m really that… how do you say…. backed up, that its causing allll this pain?” I don’t think it really was just that, but it certainly wasn’t helping. I’d been taking Colace but it wasn’t “helping” much. So I went to the dollar store down the road and bought suppositories, metamucil, pain reliever and gas-x. The clerk said “pregnant?” Lol. How did you guess? While I can’t say much for all the assorted “remedies” the metamucil isn’t too bad tasting. If you like watered down orange Gatorade with wiskers in it. Its a good thing that’s how I usually drink mine or I may have had trouble getting it down! – Just thought I would share that story since I know you all want to read about my intestinal pains.
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There’s a post I keep wanting to write. Actually 2 posts. But I don’t know when its going to happen. I may have to make a trip to the Library to borrow their internet. Would you find it shocking (surely not) for me to tell you, this blog was created on a phone?! And every single update has also been on my phone. Its hard to type. So hard. Stupid touch screen. Its painstaking. That’s why my posts lack a certain flavor they could have if only it didn’t take me half an hour and ten billion backspace before I got my post out. And I forget what I’m wanting to say because it takes so long to type. The thought escapes me before I can get the right button pressed. But our laptop isn’t compatible with DH’s wifi (reserved almost solely for that, that, that (I almost want to say something I shouldnt here) game Halo. Now, if I had a laptop that had wifi access this would be easy. Yeah, that’s not gonna happen! So for now, I shall do my best to peck out my posts. One painstaking letter at a time. Don’t know why I just wasted 10 minutes telling you all that. I guess I just wanted to let you know why my posts are always spacey.

Dear God, thank You for our good check up today and for the wonderful heart echo. Please watch over this precious little one in Jesus’ name, amen

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