Written 1-6-23. Updated 2-2-23. This pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks.

Ok, I think I haven’t posted since before 5 weeks, so there’s a bit of catching up to do…

At the beginning of 5 weeks I had pretty consistent queasy level morning sickness. Towards the end of 5 weeks, the nausea pretty much disappeared and I had a bit of a moment on Christmas Eve where I cried wrapping presents and emailed the Dr to tell him that all my symptoms had been gone the last few days. Then I went to bed, praying, and woke up on Christmas morning, quite nauseated. It was not as magical feeling as it sounds, haha, but I was quite relieved that maybe things were still going strong in there. (and emailed the dr again to disregard my message🤣) The increasingly uncomfortable nausea has been my constant companion since then, except when I’m asleep. However, today was the first day that I had to take 2mg of Zofran in order to remain upright without throwing up. I’ve been getting by with b6 throughout the day and doxylamine succinate at night. Matt thinks I’m crazy to be willingly doing this again. Maybe I am. But like I tell him, it’s just part of the process. It’s just a season. It’s not forever.

At 7+1 we had our first ultrasound appointment. Our regular dr was out of town, so his colleague kindly saw us. Matt was able to get off work early and go with me, and we had a date at a nice little sushi place afterwards. It was amazing to see baby looking good and measuring 6+5 with the sac measuring right on dates at 7+1. (I’m pretty sure that the baby may have been cheated by a millimeter in the measurement, but either way its within normal limits.) Heartbeat was a strong 145, tho this dr doesn’t try to listen till farther along.

I was disappointed but not surprised to find out that I have a massive subchorionic hematoma. It’s almost the same size as with Destin. His was 33×20mm. This one is 39×16mm. For comparison, the gestational sac was only 22mm. So this sch is literally almost twice as big as the gestational sac. Sch can have good outcomes, and many do. Unfortunately when its this large in proportion to the pregnancy, it’s a bit touch and go. Mine with all 3 of my youngest were not an issue, so hopefully this one will heal quickly and beautifully. With each subsequent pregnancy I have a larger sch than the time before. I don’t know why I repeatedly get these and it definitely adds a huge degree of stress that wasn’t there prior to the ultrasound. I’m trying to remind myself that I hadn’t changed anything about my activity level prior to this information, and the baby was still growing well. I was still lifting over 40lbs on a regular basis throughout the course of my days. I’ve stopped lifting as much since I’m on lifting restriction now but I can’t really go on bedrest or anything drastic. I just have to hope and pray that God heals this sch like He did the others. I am already taking progesterone 2x daily at 600mg, which is one recommendation. The other supplement I’d never heard of being used for sch is alpha lipoic acid. It’s been studied and found to resolve sch faster than progesterone alone. So, I’ve ordered some and it should come tomorrow! Other than that, we wait and pray. The Dr asked me to come back in 1 week instead of 2 so we can keep an eye on it. It’s in the Lord’s hands.

On another note, at 7+2, I took the gender blood test that I’d ordered on sale at Christmas. It was fairly easy to use but I can’t imagine how you’re supposed to keep from contaminating it with male dna from the environment. I’ve decided I don’t trust any result I get because I accidentally dripped water from my hands into the box and right on the bag that the sample itself goes into. 😅 So, if it comes back boy, it’s contaminated but if it comes back girl (be serious) it’s too early. 😂 But, Lord willing, we are only 5.5 weeks away from being able to do the elective ultrasound for gender anyway. 🙏 This test is fun in the meantime. I should have the results the day after tomorrow!!

We made it through the Christmas parties without anyone suspecting, or at least nobody asked. I’m hoping we can make it a few more weeks. Mainly because of the sch. I definitely don’t want to tell the boys while that is looming so ominously. Oh Lord, please make it absorb and resolve quickly! In Jesus’ name. 🙏 I’m surprised nobody asked though because I think I look way poochy. I mean, the pooch never really went away, and maybe that’s a good thing. Ppl are used to me just being chunky at this point. But it just has a higher, maternal look now. Like the indent where my c section scar is has filled out and is round now. I’m not sure if I’ve actually gained any weight. I don’t see how, if I have. I’ve been too sick to eat like normal. Lots of thought goes into what will stay down. 😅

Other symptoms: altered sense of smell and taste, nasty taste in my mouth, more run down/tired than usual starting around 6 weeks, getting up to pee at night a lot, tossing and turning at night, always so freaking cold!! I haven’t been able to stay warm in weeks!

Dear God, thank You for entrusting us with this precious baby. Please heal the sch and help the baby to be safe and happy in there. In Jesus’ name, amen.