Archives for the month of: June, 2015

I somehow forgot to publish this last week.

I am still having a hard time keeping up with blogging on my phone. I do my best to read blogs but posting comments is often too bothersome. So if you find I’m not commenting much or at all, please don’t take offense. I’m still reading and hopefully we will have internet again here soon.

Levi is gigantic! People are always giving me weird looks when I tell them his age. He’s in size 3 diapers (which Tru also fits) and wears 6-9 month clothes. He even wore a 12 month pair of shorts yesterday that Tru wore last year because the waist bands in the smaller sizes are way too tight for his rotund belly.

He still sleeps a solid 10-12 hours at night without waking and eats about 8 times during the day. I’m still pumping twice a day and hoping my supply will stay strong this time around so I can keep up with Levi’s growing demands. I still give Tru my extra pumped milk and freeze some. I have noticed a slight drop in how much I can pump lately which I think is due to sleeping in positions that put pressure on the tatas. So I’m trying to make myself sleep on my back more for the time being.

Levi is a super smiley little guy now and he laughs all the time. He is the most ticklish little person and sometimes even just changing his clothes or diaper will have him cracking up. I absolutely love hearing him laugh. It is deep and throaty, not a typical baby laugh but oh so precious all the same. He says goo sometimes now too which is just adorable.

He scared mommy and daddy silly last week. I rolled over to check on him in the morning and I didn’t feel his tummy rising and falling so I touched his face but he didn’t move. I started to panic a little and grabbed his arm but he still didn’t move. So I grabbed him out of his bed and he slumped against my chest still not moving and I wasn’t detecting any breathing. At that point I screamed for DH and ran to the living room with Levi and laid him on the floor. He turned his head just a bit and I felt the hugest flood of relief. I don’t know what was going on that morning but he does get into a very deep sleep quite often but that was beyond normal. For me to scream and him not even flinch was just weird. I spent that whole day feeling awful and cried my eyes out that evening when DH came home because I was just so shook up from the whole thing. Call me neurotic but I bought a movement baby monitor off eBay. It’s basically a regular baby sound monitor and can be used just like a regular one or you can plug in an additional panel that goes under the mattress and alarms if it doesn’t sense movement from baby breathing. I’m actually super embarrassed to admit to you all that I bought that but it truly scared us enough that we just needed to feel like we can relax a little again. It’s yet another example I believe of the added anxiety of parenting after infertility. I’m learning that there are many layers to this post infertility anxiety and like it or not, it does affect my parenting. It’s not something I can explain to people, they just think I’m a worry wart but I know that you IF sisters and brothers understand. I’m trying to trust God with the lives of these little boys and just do the best I can.

On a lighter note, my baby gets sticky-upy hair when it’s freshly washed and it is adorable! He is starting to enjoy baths more too. Cleaning out his fat rolls is both funny and cute. I thought Tru was a chubby baby but Levi is much more so. I absolutely love his chubs. He’s so squishy and the plus side is that he loves being cuddled. I soak up as much snuggles as I can. Tru will sit perfectly still so he can hold Levi so I’ve started using it to my advantage at church. As long as Levi is in a good mood, I hold Tru in my lap and Levi lays back against Tru and everyone is happy. Me especially. 🙂

I noticed the last 2-3 weeks that Levi is breaking out in a new batch of light baby acne. It’s interesting to note that my 11 week old nephew is also mildly breaking out. Must be a hormone surge around this time.

Dear God, thank You for watching over my babies. Please continue to protect them and help them to grow healthy and strong. Forgive me when I let the worries get the best of me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

sorry for the terrible picture quality.
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…. that’s what the RE determined I have going on now in my uterus. I had an ultrasound with him last week to check for retained placenta. There was no sign of anything in the uterus but the lining has grown into the muscle wall of the uterus. Likely due to the c section I had with Tru he said. Also I started having some spotting around nine and a half weeks postpartum and it hasn’t stopped since. Sometimes it calms down greatly but other times it flares into a full blown bleeding episode that goes away after a few hours. It is becoming greatly annoying. He said he believes the bleeding is because of the lining issue. He ordered another beta and progesterone check both of which were negative of course. He wanted to be sure that I wasn’t pregnant and not only am I not pregnant (of course) but he also determined that I haven’t ovulated yet postpartum.

I just really want the spotting/ bleeding to go away. I was so happy to be done with my postpartum bleeding at just past 6 weeks and to have it start back up after only a 3 week break (where I had a few days where I still spotted) is frustrating.

The RE didn’t think the adenomyosis poses any future fertility issues thankfully.

Edit: I wrote this post 2 weeks ago and never posted it. The bleeding stopped again and I’m really hoping it stays away now.

Levi got ahold of his left cheek today with his little hand and was holding onto it. It was so cute it made me laugh which made him laugh. He’s gotten so vocal this past week with laughing. Not cooing so much just yet but he does sometimes. He likes to laugh at and coo at his toys. We tickle him and make loud noises to get him to laugh at us. At this point he finds us pretty hilarious. 🙂

He smiles at me all the time the last few days. It’s like he’s waking up developmentally all of a sudden. And also spending much more time awake during the day. Before, he slept so much of the time. But over the last couple weeks he is spending more time awake playing and looking around. He’s very content to be held all day and DH says I have him spoiled because I hold him so much. But I learned my lesson with Tru … the stage where they let mommy hold them is GONE in the blink of an eye. I just want to soak up all the snuggles I can.

We are definitely eating less often now which is good and bad. I worry my milk supply will drop and I really want to breastfeed exclusively for 6-7 months. Mostly for convenience to be honest because breastfeeding is so much easier than feeding solids. But it’s also a good thing to not be nursing so often as long as he is still getting plenty to eat.

Levi has got on a new schedule of pooping every few days which means we have a poosplosion every few days and just a little here and there in between. Mostly it’s ok but the poosplosion days often make his tummy hurt and we have a more grumpy day. Even his grumpy days are easy though. He’s so easygoing still. 🙂

He’s generally going to bed around 10-11pm now and waking up anywhere from 7-9am to nurse and then sleeping awhile longer till 10-11am. Even though I’m sleeping plenty with him on this schedule, I am beyond exhausted. I was doing unbelievably great up until the last few weeks and I realized today that it coincides pretty closely with when I stopped taking my iron supplement that I started after giving birth when my blood count was only 7. So I am going back on the iron and hoping it helps. I really need my energy and I sure had it when I was taking my iron and shampooing carpets 3-4 weeks postpartum. I was praying for strength then too which I obviously should still be doing.

Well, the little guy is awake again so I must go….

Dear God, I am still in such amazement when I look at my sweet little boys you have blessed me with. I know just how miraculous it is that we conceived them and I know it is all because of You. Thank You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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I love those cheeks 🙂

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And that little nose...

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Hanging out with grandpa and uncle

Last week, I decided to take a test. I had lots of pregnancy symptoms but mostly I just wanted to be sure there was no retained placenta still. Supposedly retained placenta can cause a positive test. I used an opk since that’s what I had on hand and what I had tested on when I found out I was pregnant with Levi. It was positive so I went and bought an E.quate ll 2 pack. I took it in the Walmart bathroom and it was instantly positive.
I called my RE and he ordered a beta and progesterone test. I was thinking it really must be retained placenta or pregnancy. I mean the test turned positive as soon as I took it like while the dye was still crossing the screen kind of fast. I knew it was unlikely (as in HIGHLY, INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY) that I was pregnant and since I had retained placenta at the birth that seemed more likely. However, aside from a little bit of spotting I haven’t had any more bleeding since my 6 week checkup and it seems that I would still be bleeding if I had retained placenta.

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The nurse called me back the next day to let me know that my progesterone was 0.3 so I definitely wasn’t pregnant. I didn’t get my beta results until later in the day but you can imagine my shock when I learned that they were 0!! Which leads me to believe there probably isn’t any retained placenta either. A relief, but since I had a positive test it was still kind of weird. So I went ahead and took the second test that was in the E.quate 2 pack. Positive. OK, what does that mean? (I didn’t get a picture but it was like the first one.)I had started spotting the night before so I thought maybe I was starting my period but it never increased to anything more than a heavy spotting and then went mostly away by the next day. I decided to just disregard the results of the hpts and went on with the rest of my week.

So fast forward to today almost a week after my negative beta. Still feeling pregnancy symptoms. I picked up a dollar store test (most reliable if you ask me, and so cheap). Stark white negative!

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At any rate, my RE wants to see me tomorrow for a check up and I’m game for it since I’m still spotting off and on and I just want to make sure everything is OK with my uterus after the trauma of the after birth experience and to be sure I’m not still dilated like i was at my 6 week postpartum checkup.

As crazy as it would have been to be pregnant again already I think I could have done it. Not going to lie, I feel a slight pang of disappointment as crazy as that may be. I know I do want another baby on down the road. Now is kind of soon! But with our past fertility struggles, I’ve learned not to be particular about when or even how our children come to be. But I’m thankful that I can focus on Levi being a baby and not be having crazy morning sickness etc while trying to care for 2 little ones that are so small still. Maybe someday I’ll have another positive test but I can guarantee you that I’ll never trust another test… especially not a blue dye test.

Every day I think about how I need to post a Levi update amongst the zillion other things that need done. And every day I fail. 😦 It makes me sad that I’m not getting everything documented but then I think of all the people who don’t document at all and, well….

Levi started laughing around eight weeks I believe. He giggles about all sorts of things now. He is super ticklish and DH I spend way too much time tickling his cute little neck. We probably drive Levi crazy! It’s just so cute. He has this deep throaty laugh… Maybe I will get a video of it to post soon. We are getting lots of smiles and some coos now. 🙂 He definitely seems to be more social the last couple weeks. He really likes to lay on his activity mat and look up and smile and laugh at the toys hanging down. His little arms and legs go crazy waving back and forth.

Levi is still doing great sleeping through the night. The other morning he slept until 9:20 something before getting up to eat. We usually put him to bed around 9:30-10:30pm. We lay him down and he puts himself to sleep now. I’m hoping we will be able to continue on this way with bedtimes being easy. He is not on any kind of schedule during the day with eating or napping I just let him do his thing.

I am noticing that he doesn’t eat as often now as he did before. I’m still just pumping twice a day. I don’t usually get very much milk in the evening – maybe 3 to 6 ounces. But the morning is when I have my big pumping session that usually yields 15 to 20 ounces. I guess because I have always pumped around the same time every morning since 2 days after he was born, I have kind of taught my boobs that this is when they need to make a huge amount of milk. I had to build them up to that amount, they didn’t always make so much in the morning.

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Moo

I usually try to freeze about 16oz a day and give Truett the rest. I’m thinking this supply probably won’t last much longer if my supply tanks like it did with Tru around 4+ months.

Levi is already needing size 3 diapers. I had to return some size 1 and 2 diapers already. I’m trying to cram him into the last of the size 2 that were already open but at night he has to wear a size 3 or he leaks. He just has such an abundant midsection. 😉 I love his rolls. I do think his rapid weight gain is coming to a halt. The last few weeks seem a lot more slow and steady – which is good since he’s already been in 6 months clothes for a few weeks. I don’t think people believe me that he’s only 2 months. But it’s all good. My theory is he is trying to grow fast so he can defend himself from Tru. Tru loves Levi and is really good with him but he can definitely be a little er aggressive energetic in showing his love.

That’s about all I can think to update right now. Happy baby, super easy going, calm, loves to be held, loves mommy most of all – this is true because he told me so. Smells good. DH and I take turns sniffing Levi’s hair off. It smells great. I love that sweet baby smell. Speaking of hair, his hair is really starting to come in. It sticks straight up and is adorable!!! 🙂 I don’t mean to brag but he just really is a great baby. I might as well brag now though, the toddler years are not quite as easy, am I right? 😉 I’m just kidding. I’m actually LOVING the toddler years with Tru. It’s so fun watching him learn and listening to him talk and actually saying new real words all the time now! I need to post his update in a few days…

Dear God, thank You for all the blessings You have given me. Thank You for all the sweet and precious things that Levi does. Please continue to guard and protect him. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Ah, my own bed!

 

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Enough pictures mom !

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Hairs

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I love his pouty face

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Levi's favorite pastime

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I found these in a bush at my in-laws