Archives for the month of: December, 2015

I don’t know what sort of strange urge drove me to buy a fertility test kit. I mean, seriously!? What sort of silliness is that? But I saw the E.P.T fertility test kit marked down significantly awhile back as it was getting ready to expire in a few months and on a whim, I bought it. I reasoned that I could sell the Female Test (which I did) and keep the Male Test. But then I tucked the test away, calmed down on my obsessive TTC efforts and never asked DH to take it.

You see, we know that the last results we have of DH’s sperm count were… terrible to say the least. 1million per ml, fair motility, and 0%morphology. That’s darn near sterile! And his count was on the steady decline. Over the course of 1.5 years it went from 10mil to 8mil to 3mil to 1mil. And the morph had went from 4% to 0%. And it was with those terrible results followed by so much prayer that we had decided to pursue IVF/ICSI. Yet, Levi happened.

SO….. I have always wondered, was Levi literally the one in a million that God picked for us? The one that made it through. The one lonely sperm who actually was good at swimming, and was morphologically normal? He is quite obviously a miracle and the one that God chose to give us. But was DH also healed? By some divine miracle has he been healed?

The answer to that question could be found in that test. At least, the test tells whether the sperm count is above or below 20mil/ml. It tells nothing of motility or morphology. Obviously, it’s not a fool-proof test. It could give wrong results and we could stay none-the-wiser. But that was quite awhile back that I bought the test and now I don’t know if I want to know the result. To find out that DH doesn’t have a normal sperm count would be a bit depressing as we do want to get pregnant “naturally” again. But we also have to remember if his test comes back abnormal that we still got pregnant before against all odds. Praise God! It could happen again if it’s in God’s will for us to grow our family that way. Or maybe God will lead us another direction with growing our family. Through treatment again, or maybe not.

To be honest, DH isn’t that thrilled about the idea of testing and I understand because I have my own doubts about whether he should. And I can always sell the test if he doesn’t use it. To test or not to test…. that is the question!

*I found this in my computer but I don’t think it ever was posted. I feel like Truett has already grown up a ton more since then!Β 

 

I feel like Tru is growing into a full-fledged kid all of a sudden. Like I can talk to him and he actually gets most of what I’m saying. He follows simple instructions very easily and well. “Bring Levi a toy, please.” “Put your shoes on.” And he watches every little thing I do. He tried to turn the TV off when we were leaving the house today by using the button on the side of the TV because that’s how I usually turn it off when we are leaving. He looked at me the other day when we were watching cartoons because he knows I aways turn the channel when Abby’s.Flying.Fairy. School comes on (as if Sesame.Street isn’t already annoying enough!). He asks for certain foods by name and gets in and out of his high chair and even sits at the table on his own sometimes. He is super observant.

I love how it feels like he is my little buddy now and we can actually do things together with him understanding the purpose of what we are doing. Like making crafts or food. He loves to “cu-ee” (color) with his “creens” (crayons). I have noticed that he starts most of his words with a strong H sound. But not always, just for emphasis a lot of the time. Like “h-out!” And he will end words with the ‘uh’ sound a lot of the time. Or ‘e’. This has resulted in him calling water “Hawaii” for the last couple months even before we went to Hawaii which just makes it even funnier. He will say things like “h-baby-uh”, but only when he is emphasizing the word. I think it’s so cute.

He has been asking for the last couple weeks for us to “HOME!!” with his little arms up-stretched which is actually him saying “Hold me!”. I can’t tell you how much I am enjoying this new phase of him letting us hold him again and actually requesting it! It’s still only for short little minutes here and there but it sure beats him always being too busy to be held at all!

Tru had his 2 year check-up on the 6th of Oct and his stats are: Height, 36.25″ in the 90th percentile, Weight, 27lbs 11oz in the 50th, and Head circumference 49.5cm in the 50th which is actually the smallest percentile it has ever been. His head only grew a half cm in 6 months and dropped from 90th to 50th. To say that didn’t worry me a little would be a lie but his pedi didn’t seem concerned so I am taking that to mean it’s normal. Also, his iron was tested and it came back at 12.4 which is great and is the highest it has been in probably close to a year! I am very happy it is finally were it should be. He is still taking Poly-Vi-Sol to help with that. His lead level was tested and I never got the results. I am assuming it was normal. Altogether, His pedi was happy with his growth and speech etc. πŸ™‚

I feel like Tru is starting to understand sharing and trading. He has started trading toys with Levi. He also trades toys with my niece when they play together. They are not the best at sharing and taking turns just yet. πŸ˜‰ That will probably take a bit longer.

This sweet boy loves to be outside and I feel bad that I didn’t have him out even more this summer! Now that it’s getting cold, he probably won’t want to be out for such long periods of time. It’s crazy how fast he takes off out there. I have to be on high alert every second. If I so much as turn for 10 seconds, he is already running away! He is starting to master his peddle tractor all on his own which is so adorable.

I look at Tru all the time and just can’t get over how cute he is! Seriously, I’m not trying to brag, he just looks like such a little man running around. He looks just like his Dad, that’s what it is and we all know I think his Dad is cute! πŸ˜‰

Well, this is getting long… there’s just so much to say, so much I want to remember. I wish I could freeze frame life. So much joy in watching this kid grow!

Dear God, I am so blessed and honored to be Truett’s Mommy and to watch him as he learns and grows. I pray that You will protect him in his life and continue to bless him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

My sweet little Levi Shay is 40 weeks old now! How I missed so many weeks of blogging is beyond me. I was fully committed to weekly updates until 1 year but you know, it’s ok. I have been enjoying this “little” guy so much!! He is growing by leaps and bounds. More so in development than in actual physical size. In fact, he seems to have slowed down in his weight gain etc considerably. Which is not surprising given his rather picky eating habits. He is happy to eat teething wafers and puffs but he is only occasionally interested in eating purees. I try to feed him bits and pieces of regular food which he generally loves (especially ground venison, compliments of Daddy and Pap-pap) but it takes him so long to eat it and he drops so much that he doesn’t really take in a ton of food. He does nurse a lot though it seems. I probably nurse him about 8 times a day. He usually eats once in the night and seems positively famished!

Levi surprises me constantly in the way he plays with toys that are for older toddlers like Tru. He is only mildly interested in “baby” toys and always wants to play with Tru and be part of what he is doing. Which of course drives Tru crazy but I think it is good as it is giving them both the opportunity to learn early to both share and respect other peoples belongings. I so love watching them play together. Especially when they are making each other laugh and really interacting by babbling to each other and making eye contact. Tru really watches out for Levi and will tell him “No Vavie!!” when he sees Levi playing with things that he shouldn’t have. I am so thrilled for their brother bond and excited to watch them grow together.

Levi can no longer stand to sleep in our bed. This happened suddenly. He has always loved to sleep with us and slept so well in our bed although we didn’t want him sleeping in our bed. Now though, when he wakes to nurse in the night he just doesn’t sleep well next to me and usually lays there awake and flailing his arms around and shaking his head back and forth and really can’t seem to sleep well again until he is back in his bed. This is really a good thing but it didn’t really bother me to have him in bed with me after that nursing session because then I didn’t have to get him back into his room and it was for a short enough time that I could enjoy the snuggles. I’m glad that he is gaining this independence though. I remember Tru doing the same thing.

He is constantly cruising along the furniture now and can crawl amazingly fast! He LOVES baths. He still loves being held but definitely wants down to explore more now than ever before. I miss when he was little and would lay in my arms for hours perfectly content. But I also love seeing him crawl around and play and grow into a big boy. It’s so fun to see his personality developing! He is charming, a little shy, very goofy, and a huge copycat. I’ve learned lately that he is much smarter than I give him credit for. The other day I was shaking a can of puffs and it was making him crack up laughing. He was holding the can and I would shake it and take my hand away. He kept putting it back in my hand so I would do it again. I didn’t know he could do that sort of thing yet. It was so cute! He decided that he likes pacifiers now since he borrowed one from his cousin. He wouldn’t let it out of his mouth! He is old enough now that I wonder should I let him have one? He uses me as a paci alot and that is both bad and good. His teeth make imprints in my boob so maybe a paci would be good. But then it wouldn’t be long till he would have to give it up again. So maybe it’s better just not to start.

Dear God, thank You for all the new things Levi is doing! Thank You for the great privilege and pleasure of seeing him grow up and for getting to be a part of his learning and development. I pray that I will never fail him as a parent. I pray that I will never fail to teach him all the things he needs me to show him and especially that I will teach him about You and for him to grow to love and serve You all the days of his life. Please guard and protect him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

*Sorry for the lack of pictures. I got a new camera and I haven’t tried to connect it to my computer yet. Maybe soon. The new pictures look great on the camera!Β 

As of the 18th, Levi has officially been out longer than in. He is 39 weeks 5 days now. Crazy, right? Where does the time go? I’ve enjoyed every single day with my little snuggle nugget. I loved carrying him inside and I love taking care of him and snuggling him and playing with him and watching him grow here on the outside even more. Thank You dear God for such a special gift!

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Today I moved a large potted plant out of my kitchen. I was running out of room. But I looked around and realized, I still have a ton of plants in such a small place!

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Yeah. Maybe a little overboard. I have just one basket in the living room and the one large plant I moved to Levi’s room today. I can’t bear to part with any of them though. One cactus I’ve had since my teens!

Ecutri at I beat Infertility… Now what? wrote this adorable post.
I thought it was so sweet, I decided to steal the idea from her. πŸ˜‰ Go check it out!!

It really IS the simple things that make our little ones so happy. I remember my mom always telling a story about one of us kids only being interested in the box our gift came in versus the actual gift itself. So true! My babies are the same. The simple joys! πŸ™‚

If they could tell me what they want for Christmas, I think Levi would say he wants:

1. To be allowed to play with all the things in the kitchen drawers. Despite the childproof locks that one of the boys actually broke!
2. To bite us without us yelling at him.
3. To sleep in our bed all night, every night with unlimited boob access.
4. More boob.
5. To pull out every wet wipe and eat them.
6. To catch the dog and snuggle/bite him.
7. No more diaper changes!!
8. To stay nakie.
9. For daddy to NEVER leave the room.
10. The remote. And the batteries inside it.

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The drawer they broke the lock on. Gotta have those plastic bags!

Truett would/does ask for:
1. Cartoons to be on ALLL day. No commercials.
2. To play outside even in the dark.
3. To be allowed to sit on Levi. Because, seriously!
4. For daddy to NEVER leave the room. See a pattern here? I try not to be offended.
5. To be allowed to use crayons on ALL the things.
6. To push the cart in the grocery store. Not ride in it. Riding is for BABIES!
7. To drink out of the big glasses with big ice cubes.
8. To catch the dog and hug him. And possibly pull his ears off. To be fair, the dog has huge ears!
9. To always help mommy cook! Hoping this one continues!!
10. To wash the dishes and play with the bubbles. Also, super awesome if this continues! πŸ˜‰

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Unlimited access to stickers probably would make the list as well.

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I want to hear what your littles want as well!

This month:

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Levi gets messy eating way too much. He actually barfed after this.

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The back of Levi’s hair is kind of curly now. I love it!

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Levi made his dislike of purees no secret.

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Truett got a coat that he loved so much he would barely take it off.

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Mommy hosted a ladies spa day with all things pampering. Hot oil hair treatments, sugar scrub, coffee and sea salt scrub, hand and foot soaks….

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The brothers did all things together. You are absolutely not allowed to look at that mess in the background. Quit looking!! I’m serious!

 

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Mommy got a rare picture with the boys.<3

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Levi apparently took a selfie in his car.

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I dyed my hair red.

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And then burgundy (it was more purple in real life) and I got in a mood of sorts and cut it off myself. Gasp!!!

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Then I used hair dye remover once my roots started to show so I could go back to my natural color. But I found bright orange hair underneath. OOOPS!

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So I dyed it brown again. My mother says she will persnally come slap me in the face if I dye it red or purple again. I realize shes kidding but just to be safe, I’d better leave it brown.

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Truett got a hair cut too because his hair was getting rather crazy.

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before

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After

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The boys pretended to be twins.

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Levi enjoyed naked time because he can.

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Elmo came to live with us….

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But he didn’t eat his supper very well.

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These were the spa day goody containers. πŸ™‚

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I can’t figure out how to rotate this but the coffee and sugar scrubs are in these little cans. I put a toothbrush (for scrubbing feet), nail file, assorted scrubs, hand soak container, foot soak container, and salt soak in the take home goody containers.

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Truett enjoyed the ornament craft at the Christmas Party that our RE threw.

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We struggled through our 7 month photo. The 8 month photo is still overdue.

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We found out that sidewalk chalk on the vinyl is actually pretty fun. πŸ™‚ And it washes right off too.

 

 

 

I want to do separate updates on both of the boys but since I’m super behind I’m just going to do a combined rundown of some stuff for now. I honestly don’t even know what was going on last time I updated. 😦
Levi:

β€’ Crawls

β€’ Pulls to stand

β€’ Has 4 teeth

β€’ Eats a combination of purees and regular food. He doesn’t love purees but
sometimes he is too hungry to sit there gnawing at and gumming food for an hour so he will chow down on purees. He likes them better thickened with cereal. He broke his record last night and ate 3 jars at a time plus some pieces of enchilada we had for supper. Usually he eats 2 jars.
β€’ Nurses 5-8 times a day

β€’ Uses a sippy cup to chew on and gets a sip or two of water now and then but
he still won’t suck it down or take a bottle although I caught him drinking a bit
of Tru’s bottle one day

β€’ Sleeps almost exclusively on his belly unless he is in our bed. He sleeps
with his butt in the air and his arms tucked under his chest just like Tru used
to sleep

β€’ Likes to bite and pinch me. Thankfully he has only bitten my boob a couple
times although the other day I was sitting on the floor at my friends house (fully clothed of course) and Levi crawled up to me and bit my boob through my shirt. Little booger! πŸ˜‰

β€’ Laughs constantly! He is such a goofball.

β€’ Loves to dance and wave his hands up and down like he is playing the
drums while he is listening to music.

β€’ Hates riding in the car at night and has to listen to the same CD that always
calms Tru down in the car. It is a lady singing that goes to church with us who adopted Tru and Levi as her own grandkids since neither of her children have children. The boys love her and she loves them. Her voice really soothes them.

β€’ Moved to his own room a couple weeks ago because he can’t sleep when he is in our room. He wakes up all night long and cries to be in our bed. When he is in his room he sleeps through the night or wakes up once to nurse. It was hard for me to let go but he is happier this way and we all get better sleep aside from me getting up a billion times to check on him. I leave our door and his open so I can hear him easily. I have to order another video monitor to go in his room since I still definitely want one in Tru’s room so I can make sure he isn’t climbing out of the crib.

 

Truett:

β€’ Talks in full sentences now sometimes. It all started one night when he came in the kitchen and I asked him if he wanted supper and he said “No. I don’t want to … eat.” DH and I looked at each other in amazement and busted out
laughing. That was the first time Tru said a long sentence like that and he just keeps getting better at it. He still uses his made up words and talks in full sentences of gibberish but that is mostly when he is talking to himself. When he is talking to us he makes a point to use real words mostly. If he doesn’t use real words, I remind him to.

β€’ Is still obsessed with “plane in the sky, Hawaii” or as he pronounces it “pain in the guy”. He also points out the moon and the sun and tells me the sun hurts eyes. He points at birds too but he is totally convinced they are planes.

β€’ Pronounces words better every day and went from saying “cope” for coat to saying it properly as well as “remope” to remote and “cowp” to couch amongst many other words which he now says correctly. It makes me sad a little and happy a little. πŸ™‚

β€’ Is getting much better at controlling his tantrums unless he is tired or hungry. I am thankful for the improvement even though it comes little by painstaking little. It felt like the tantrums would never get any better but they are except for when we are in public. For whatever reason, he still breaks down in public a ton.

β€’ Says “MOM! Wook. Wook, Mom! WOOK, WOOK!” which is, of course, “look” at least a hundred times before noon. I’m not.even.kidding. He loves to show me everything he sees and everything he likes. He hasn’t really started showing what he is doing but he is always pointing at stuff. The other day he saw a mascot for a sports team at an event we were at and he popped me right in the eyeball while saying “WOOK, WOOK, WOOK, WOOK… MOM!!! WOOOK!” ….. I WAS WOOKING!!!!

β€’ He is actually kind of a help with Levi in a way. He takes stuff away from him that he isn’t supposed to have and seems to kind of watch out for him in general which is adorable. The other day however, Tru was eating cereal and decided to give some to Levi. I was right there but I didn’t notice until I heard Tru making the strangest sound. I guess he was kind of freaking out because I looked at Levi and his mouth was full of cereal and he was choking. I grabbed him and got the cereal out, poor little guy’s heart was pounding from fear and I explained to Tru that Babyuh (what he calls Levi. He also calls him Vavie) does NOT EAT CEREAL YET!

β€’ Up until recently Tru would show me his toys that he got for his birthday and tell me that they were “happy day-day toys”. So cute!

β€’ He now has to sleep with stuffed animals every night. He had gotten up to 4 in his crib at a time that he HAD to have in order to fall asleep. A monkey, bear, dog and bunny.

β€’ If you do something one time with Truett, it becomes a routine. One night I read him some books before bed and the next night he expected the same thing. I am trying to make a point of reading books to him at night when I can. He didn’t enjoy being read to until just lately. Even now he doesn’t always want me to turn the pages etc. We are finally on a good routine of teeth brushing at night. πŸ™‚

β€’ We worked on potty training and Tru does great even wearing underwear. He loves going on the toilet and doesn’t have many accidents. BUT, he still
can’t seem to go more than 30 minutes without peeing and it wears us both out to have to go that much. I am planning to bring this up to his Dr if it continues and until then I have decided that we can just try a day here and there and see how it goes and if he somehow manages to start holding it longer before having to go then that’s great. Otherwise, he might be mentally ready but maybe his body just isn’t yet.

 

We have recently:

β€’ Went to our RE’s annual Christmas party. It was fun but super crowded. I’m not sure we will go again because we live soooo far away but it was nice to see everyone again and show our RE the babies as well as one of the other RE’s in the practice who went above and beyond to help me with both my IVF and early pregnancy with Levi when I was freaking out and needed reassurance. I even enjoy seeing the receptionists because we really bonded oddly enough back then and they remember us so it’s fun to catch up.

β€’ We celebrated Thanksgiving of course which was fun even though we had 3 parties in 3 days and were super busy.

β€’ We have almost gotten our Christmas shopping/prep finished which is a relief. We didn’t put up a tree this year as we always have a real tree and I was afraid Levi might choke on the needles. I may put up our table top tree for a few days. We have plenty of trees to enjoy at our family’s houses so that is good.

β€’ We are getting out of the house as much as possible. I feel it is better for my mental state even though we don’t stay gone long. I am learning to just a run a couple errands here and there instead of trying to cram everything in for the week and stay home the rest of the time like I used to. This might not be good long term but I do want to watch that we are all getting out as much as we need to.

β€’ I have started babysitting here and there for a few hours. I watch a sibling set that are Levi’s age and 3 years old. They are really the perfect age to play with my boys although the baby is super clingy and won’t let me put her down. We don’t have a schedule or anything, I just fill in for the regular babysitter so she can have a break etc.

 

Ok, this is getting too long. If you made it this far, you get a prize! Just kidding. There’s no prize. But thanks for reading and sorry that it’s such a messy post. I don’t have the time or energy to edit right now. πŸ™‚

 

Dear God, thank You for all the wonderful fun and changes the last months have brought. Thank You for all the new things the boys are doing and for all their growth and skills. I ask that You will keep them strong and safe and healthy this winter and always. In Jesus’ name, amen.

So, this should be a quick update since there really isn’t much to say. Last month was a flop as I never really determined what was going on with my body. I think I f inally ovulated around CD 22 even though I had thought I was ovulating around CD 14. We most likely BD around whatever was my actual ovulation. So basically I had a forever 2ww. It was a bit torturous for whatever reason.* DH and I both decided it was just too stressful to think about it right now and made the decision to not track my cycle for now. No OPK’s etc. I don’t know what CD I am on now and it is very freeing! It is hard to let go but it feels so much more “natural” this way. If you think about it, “normal” fertile couples don’t half the time even know about, much less understand ovulation and they get pregnant ALLLL the time. Therefore, we shouldn’t have much less of a chance of hitting ovulation than they do. The name of the game for now is not trying/not preventing. I know I should  have AF (period) come around Christmas time but I don’t know what day and I’m not getting the calendar out to check. I know my cycles are probably still going to be wonky for a bit due to breastfeeding so I’m taking that into consideration. I’m very careful to take my low dose aspirin every day in the off chance that I may conceive since it is absolutely vital that I be on some form of blood thinner in order to have implantation and sustain a baby.

*I was talking to someone the other day about how awful it felt to spiral back into the world of obsessive TTC and I realized that probably the reason why it stresses me out so badly to track my cycles now, even though I am not desperately wanting another baby at the moment, is because it takes me back to THAT time period. The desperation of those years. The futility and struggle and fear. It’s like a horrible f lash-back and I don’t know how to just “normal people” try for a baby. It’s all or nothing. So I have to do nothing right now for my sanity’s sake and also because I don’t want to miss out on my babies that I already have because I am struggling to have another. I just want to place it in God’s hands and see what He provides. I am not against the idea of trying in the future, but for now I just have to step back and let it go.

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It's the end of the world! I don't even know why I'm crying!

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....

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Wait.. Are you taking pictures of me? How rude!

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I wasn't crying! I was just rubbing my eyes.

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No, I'm fine really. Please don't share this on your blog, mom.

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I'm just watching tv.

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What are you looking at?

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I want my hair in a pony tail, mom!

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K, take my picture!

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Take it again.

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Who IS that good lookin' dude!?! That's right. It's me!

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