Archives for the month of: November, 2013

      Every year I try to make homemade gifts for some of the people on my list. Obviously, its not practical to make gifts for everyone, but I try to make them for the ones I know will appreciate it. This year I had to keep it super simple because I don’t have a ton of time. I usually have to start at the end of August to get this done but this year I didn’t get started early enough. I just wasn’t motivated until recently.

This one is easy peasy and super fast. I crochet the top on a dish towel to make a hanging towel for the fridge or oven door. I also knit a little dish cloth. Paired with matching oven mitt, pot holder and yummy smelling candle, its a very inexpensive gift.

I was thrilled to have the idea to make casts of Truett’s feet out of plaster of paris. I painted them white, covered with modge podge, painted “Merry Christmas 2013” on the back and drilled a hole for ribbon and
voila – an ornament!

Another tree ornament I’ve made in the past are these pretty little balls. (There is no way to say that without it sounding wrong…) Its just fabric pinned onto a Styrofoam ball with ribbon (or lace) pinned around the circumference with a bow on top. No glue. No mess. And a fun little project. I love that they can be personalized with your favorite team colors or whatever.

I wish I had a better picture of these pillows I made one year. The snowman and gingerbread man are cut out of felt. The wreath and Christmas tree are fabric. These were really fun to make but they took forever.

I made this crazy quilt for the hubs one year. Its full size. And it too wayyyyyy too long!!!

My grandma actually knit this afghan for me but I made one just like it for my MIL last year and failed to take a picture. I started in August and finished in December. I got so used to knitting every night I was almost sad when I finished!

       Those are my favorite gifts I’ve made in the recent years. I’m always looking for new, easy ideas!! Anyone else like to craft?


       Happy Thanksgiving!! I thought I would try to type up a quick update today while we travel. On the way to DH’s grandma’s house for some good eatin’ and family time.
      So much to be thankful for this year. Last year, I spent thanksgiving having 4 gorgeous embabies transfered and then laying on the couch all day. That was a very special thanksgiving day because it was the first time I was officially “pregnant”. This thanksgiving is even better though because, even though we suffered immense heartbreak in the last year with ivf #1 failing and finding out that 2 of our little ones stopped growing during my pregnancy from ivf #2, this year we have Tru. And he is my little dream come Tru! Thank you God! 🙂
      This week we did lots of little baby smiles and even attempted a coo a few times. That still needs more work. Tru tried to sleep through the night once but I woke him to nurse because I was leaking everywhere and honestly, I wasn’t quite ready for going all night without holding him and making sure he was alright. 😉
      I’m sorry, typing this is making me carsick so I’ll have to go. I hope you all have a blessed thanksgiving.

      Dear God, thank You for the blessings that You have given me. Most importantly, salvation. Thank You for my family and friends. Please bless those who are hurting this thanksgiving, physically, emotionally and spiritually. In Jesus’ name, amen.

     Facebook, also known as pregnancyannouncementbook strikes again. I’m as happy as a rainbow farting unicorn for my friends IRL and URL who finally get pregnant after struggling with that beast infertility, but when its two little kids…. one still in high school, I get a little…. I don’t know what the word is. Annoyed because the whole fertile world has it so stinking easy when they try to get pregnant, grossed out in this case because they are just kids, confused because surely they knew this would happen so why didn’t they use protection, angry because oh, I get it, they wanted a baby. I guess they thought it would be fun to have a baby and play house.  And definitely jealous a little, as ashamed as I am to admit it. I’m not jealous of their circumstances, but definitely jealous that its that easy for them to get pregnant AND THEY SHOULDN’T EVEN BE! And sad. Sad because their baby is going to be raised by little kids. Sad because the mom will probably drop out of high school now. Sad because its not the baby’s fault that its parents won’t have a clue what they are doing and it will probably be subjected to a hard lifestyle. And I’m ashamed of my feelings because its none of my business. But when I think what me and my dear, sweet hubby had to go through to get pregnant, I still get that lump in my throat when others get pregnant so easily and, in this case, they get pregnant even though that’s not what is best for them or their baby. If life was fair, people who shouldn’t have kids would be infertile and all their fertility would be given to those who would be good parents. But life isn’t fair as sad as it seems…..

Oh well, end of rant post.

     I have to hurry and get this out. Tomorrow is week 7! Time is going too fast! I had a nice post written already. Obviously its not the one you’re reading. Sorry ’bout that.

       This week in a nutshell… Tru smiles more and more at my face while I talk. But he still smiles at the quilt hanging on the wall, the picture above the couch and of course, my boob. The boobs didn’t get better from Gentian Violet (wow does that stuff stain! Tru looked Goth with his little purple lips). At my 6 week checkup, the NP who recently recovered from nipple thrush herself (our babies are about 6 weeks apart) gave me an rx for Diflucan for as long as 1 and a half months. That yeast is a bear once its in the ducts. I’m down to pumping 2x a day. Anywhere from 7-10 ounces after a feeding. Its getting better! I may bleed and wear pads forever! Not sure if my body will ever stop. I guess it missed periods. I didn’t. Tru’s hernia is ok for now and as long as nothing changes, we can just monitor it until it goes away or he turns 5. Whichever happens first. He weighed 10.6 at his appointment last week so he gained a whole 4 pounds already. Probably over 11 pounds by now. He loves the baby carrier and he’s only getting up 2-3 times at night!

     That was a pretty big nutshell. Shew! I can’t get over how well behaved this baby is. Seriously. I know I shouldn’t brag because it could change at any time. But I lay him in his co sleeper when I go to bed whether he’s asleep or not and he puts himself to sleep. I do that after every feeding at night too. He’s not crying it out. He might fuss for a minute but that’s it! I think its because I started putting him to bed like that immediately even while we were still in the hospital. I dont know. But he sure makes his mommy happy.

We’ve had a few fussy days where he wanted to be held all day until evening because his tummy really hurt. Like screaming if I moved him wrong kind of pain so I think we are going to try some Gripe water. I read a nice review about it on someone’s blog the other day. I forget who. Sorry! I also think its because of my crazy overactive letdown. The problem is, all 3 of my letdowns during feedings choke him. The milk literally sprays over 5 inches out and from several holes to be really grossly specific. I spray into a towel then continue nursing but still….

       The nutshell grows. The 19th marked the 1 year anniversary of our first ER and the day those first 5 beautiful embabies came into existence. I do believe life starts at conception so I mourn a bit for those lives that were too perfect for this world. I remember quite well getting the message on my VM that we had 5 beautiful embabies growing in a petri dish over an hour away. I was so thrilled! Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of our ET. 2 Weeks after that my heart broke, but little did I know just 2 months later I really would be pregnant! Thank You God for our little Truett!
      Im looking for good, easy crock pot meals. Any suggestions? I’m not picky really. I would love to try your recipe. Maybe I will even post a review! I’m tired of my own cooking and meal ideas. I need fresh insight. Help please!! Thanks in advance. 🙂

       Dear God, please keep Tru healthy and well this winter. Please help us keep him safe and not getting over exposed to germs. Thank You for entrusting him to my care and I pray that his daddy and I will do a good job taking care of Tru. In Jesus’ name, amen.

As a side note… at the start of my IVF cycle I posted this picture. I would link to it but I don’t know how on my phone.


10 Months later. My empty vials and syringes. But my IVF baby is soooo worth it. Also, the outfit I prayed over at the beginning of the year. I can’t link to that post either but it was called “The Outfit”.


I thought that a lot of my followers would be able to relate to this. She really explains this well.

Journey To the Finish Line

I’m really excited about today’s guest post from my friend Trisha. She and her husband have been through a great deal in their journey to become a family. Recently, they adopted their little girl. I know that I have often heard the phrase “just adopt”, and while it is often well intentioned, is simply not that easy. It was a topic that was difficult for me to explain because I had not been through it, but Trisha explains the ups and downs quite well. You can visit her blog at The Elusive Second Line.

It’s a phrase that every infertile has heard, “Why don’t you just adopt?”. Those words are the go-to answer when someone finds out you are having trouble getting pregnant. Adoption, it seems, should be the magical answer to all our problems! Hey just go fill out some papers, pick out your kid, and BAM! Instant…

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My bloggy friend Jenny is beginning to purse additional fertility treatments soon. She is asking for donations and she very kindly makes beautiful items to thank people for their donations. This is reblogged from her WordPress. Check it out if you are so inclined! 🙂

        I had this conversation with someone yesterday.
Me: “Is (so and so) going to try for another baby soon?”
Friend: “I asked her the other day if they are planning to have any more kids and she said yeah, they will have more.”

*crack!!!!* That is the sound of my mind breaking. It can’t compute. Someone wants more kids and they say “yeah, we will have more.” No doubt about it, they darn well will have more kids. What does it feel like to answer that question with that answer? My brain can’t fathom it. When someone asks me if we will have more kids, I’m like: “Welllllll, do you have a year? This is a long answer. See, we can’t get pregnant naturally. We have to do IVF and even that’s no guarantee. And since IVF is a lot of money and work, which I don’t mind but my husband does, I don’t know if we will ever get to try again. And if we do, its only got a 50/50 chance of working. Maybe less. So who knows how many tries it would take or if it would ever work again. But that’s not to say we won’t be trying naturally. Not that we will actually waste our time trying. That would be pointless. But we won’t prevent a theroretically possible pregnancy, not that I believe its really possible. Didja fall asleep yet?”

     Soon I should probably stop titling my post -weeks -days…. sigh. The little guy did alot of eating and growing this week. With the occasional pooping and peeing of course. Man, this baby is so good!! He seriously only crys if he is in pain or hungry. Unfourtunately, he is in pain quite a bit. He has the absolute worst gas. He can rip ’em!! Let me tell ya… he sounds like a full grown man farting and it hurts his tummy. I’m planning to ask the pediatrician about that at his appointment this week. Remember how I said he grunts alot? Well it’s so much that he has given himself a hernia. Yep, pretty sad about that. I don’t know how that works for a little baby his age. Will it heal up on it’s own? Is my little dude going to need surgery? I feel terrible for him grunting so much. He isn’t constipated, it’s just something he does. I read that babies of mom’s who have overactive letdowns while nursing often suffer from too much gas but I dont know if that’s the cause of all the grunting. Most of the time nothing comes out. He just sticks his legs out straight in the air and pops his belly button out. 😦

      Aside from all that good stuff…. we had Truett dedicated to the Lord at church today. This is not the same as christening, (we are not catholic actually) this is promising that we will do our best to raise him right, in church, praying and reading the Bible with him, teaching his about God ect. It is up to Truett to choose to follow the Lord when he grows up, but it’s our responsibility as his parents to do our best to raise him right. Our church family knows about our struggle to have this baby. Most of them know that we did IVF and they helped us by praying and being as supportive as they knew how during the whole process. Alot of times they said the wrong things.  “relax and it will happen”, “all in good time”, “you can always adopt”, and you all know the rest. But I always knew that their hearts were in the right place even though it hurt to hear those things time and again. I always knew that they loved us and cared deeply and that meant alot to me. But nothing meant more to me than knowing that they were praying for us. Some of them were praying ever day. I love my church family. I really, really do.

         Truett has made mommy so happy by switching in the last 4 nights from waking up 4-5 times at night to nurse (and it taking about an hour each time since I was pumping after every feeding) to waking up just 2-3 times a night. What a difference that makes for me being able to sleep!! I got a 4 hour stretch the other night. That’s the longest stretch I’ve had in the last 5 weeks! I feel so much better able to take care of him during the day when I manage to get in a little sleep. Even though he’s been wanting to stay up at his 3am feeding for 2 and a half hours, it’s easier to get up for 1 long stretch that over and over. Either way, he’s just great. Such a good baby.

       I have worked myself down to just 4 pumping sessions a day. This is down from 8-12. It feels alot better, however, I am dealing with some engorgement. Actually, I’ve pretty much been engorged since the beginning. I had 1 week where I wasn’t and then I have been ever since. That’s why weaning from the pump is taking so long. Even pumping less often and for less time is a slow process because I can only cut back my sessions by pumping 1 hour later every few days and for 1-2 mins less every few days. The other night I nursed the baby and still pumped out 9 ounces!! My usual after feeding 15 min pumping session was yeilding about 5-7 ounces. I’ve cut that back to 3-5 ounces. Baby steps. One the positive note, my freezer is FULL of breastmilk to the point that we are having to buy a deep freezer. I’m on the look out for one right now. I actually was pumping and dumping for about a week while on antibiotics so I threw out well over a hundred ounces.

I can’t believe it was already a year ago this month that we had our first ivf! Time flys!!

        Thank You God for blessing me with the responsibility of raising Truett and I ask that You will help me and his daddy to do the very best job that we know how and I pray that Truett will grow up knowing You and loving You. Please protect him and bless our little family. Please bless those struggling through infertility. I will never forget the struggle we faced and I thank You for this little miracle baby that you gave us. In Jesus name, amen.





      I can’t believe my little guy is 4 weeks old already. This is going by wayyyy to fast! Yesterday we went to an appointment and had his weight checked. Not like I was worried about that! My “low birth weight” baby has been getting fatter as the minutes pass. He’s up to 9.3!! Yeah, my boob milk is high calorie appearently.
    Speaking of my boobs… I had them checked by the lactation nurse yesterday to see how she felt about the mastitis/nipple thrush. Oh, I didn’t tell you about my mastitis? Its been lovely! I’ve had it for 2 weeks now. I’m on a medicine to clear it up but its been taking its sweet time to work. But on the bright side, the temperature in the boobs has dropped from 1,000° to maybe 200° so that’s progress right? But for every step forward it is imperative that you take two steps back. That’s why I developed nipple thrush from the antibiotics. Ya know… just for the heck of it. Thankfully, I have continued to breastfeed fatso this whole time. The nurse practitioner I saw really wanted me to stop and just pump and dump while on the antibiotic (for 10 days!!!) but the pharmacist said it was fine to keep breastfeeding. I checked every website that has information on safety of antibiotics while breastfeeding and they all said that Clindamyacin is most likely ok to use while breastfeeding. But I did supplement a few times with milk I had pumped from before the antibiotic so that Tru was getting a little less of it in his system. He’s also started on acidophilus. I’m so glad we didn’t have to take a 10 day hiatus. That would break my heart but I would have done it if really necessary. Mastitis is horrible!!! And so is nipple thrush!
        We do more than breastfeed though – although that’s every 2-3 hours around the clock so it almost feels like all we do. Truett smiled at me for the first time last night. To be fair, he smiled 2 times at my sister at 3 weeks 3 days. But we aren’t counting that! Ha! He also is really having a bad time with gas. Nothing helps. Except letting him sleep on his tummy which nowadays you’re not supposed to do. So I only let him during the day. But its so tempting at night. He grunts all night. To the point that he’s getting an umbilical hernia. I swear it wasn’t there and he plum just grunted it out. He’s not constipated. Its just gas. My mom watched him the other morning and said he grunted 3 hours straight. That’s nothing! He grunts the entire night!!
       Tru did miss a feeding last night. He didn’t sleep through it. We were awake. Very. Awake. At 2 am. He just didn’t want to eat. Too busy grunting. Anyways, he put 5 hours in between his feedings. That’s the longest he’s ever gone! And I got to sleep 3 hours straight. That’s the longest I’ve slept since his birth A MONTH AGO!  It was awesome. 🙂
        He’s outgrowing his newborn clothes. Not in length because he hasn’t grown any longer yet. But he’s getting too chunky for them. Its bittersweet. His newborn outfits are way cuter than his 0-3mo outfits. We’ve also had to clip his nails 3 times already. This boy has claws!
       Lastnight me and daddy (DH) gave Tru a bath and he actually fell asleep with daddy holding his head while I washed his body. So cute!! I think he felt all womb-like. I miss being pregnant, but I love this too!
       I feel like there is more I should add because this time is flying by and I know in my sleep deprived state I won’t remember everything later. This blog was my pregnancy journal and is becoming a baby book. I hope to look back on this someday as the best time of my life and remember it through these entries. Thank you for reading.
       Dear God, thank You for this beautiful, precious boy. I love him so much. Please continue to heal me so I can breastfeed Tru easily and without so much discomfort. Thank You that I’ve been able to breastfeed him this long. I pray that he will get all the good nutrition he needs from my milk for now and that nothing harmful will come through it. In Jesus name, amen.

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Experiencing Motherhood

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About Alistair

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