Archives for the month of: January, 2017

I’m going to recap 21 months since Levi just turned 22 months a few days ago. I do have to confess though, I spent the last month thinking he was 22 months already. Eep! 

At Levi’s last well check up (December 1st), he weighed 26lbs 15oz (72nd percentile), 34″ tall (73rd percentile) and 47cm ( 28th percentile) head cirumference. Since then, I’d say he has grown at least another inch taller. His pants are all becoming too short on him and he has moved almost entirely into 2T clothes and some 3T shirts. 

Vocally, Levi is quite an overachiever! There is almost nothing he can’t say now. He talks quite a bit but definitely isn’t as talkative as Truett is. About a month ago I heard him say his first 3 word sentence “My wear it.” Now he tells me all the time “I wuv you too.” He almost always says “too” after “I love you” even when he is the first one to say it. He must tell me 20+ times a day that he loves me. Which melts my heart and makes my day every time!! Yesterday as we were driving I was cracking up listening to Tru and Levi fight over a sippy cup. Levi kept saying “Ask Mom!” to Truett and I was just thinking “Where did this big boy come from all of a sudden!?” 

Speaking of what a big boy Levi is, I still can’t get him to give up the boob. He will go days or even a week without nursing but he asks for it every so often. Usually I tell him no, but sometimes he cries and sometimes he’s just sad and needs comforting. Lots of the time when I am holding him and he’s all snuggly, he wants to nurse. I almost always tell him no in that case. I think he looks and acts too old to nurse, in my opinion but then I think “Well, it’s natural and he’s not even 2 yet so…” I’m not sure when we will finally be completely done. 

Levi has become a very bossy little guy toward anyone younger than him and toward River. River can hardly breathe without Levi yelling “stop it!” and “NO!” at him. I am working on this with Levi to be nice and not yell at the dog. Also, when I babysit my cousin’s 14ish month old boy on Fridays, Levi bosses him around too. It’s actually pretty cute, but I know it’s behavior that we need to work on so he can be assertive without being rude. 

Levi is a bit obsessed with my hair. He holds it in his little hands and lays his face on it. He rubs my hair and says “Wuv you too.” He even moves his hands around in my hair and says “Cut!” over and over. Sadly for me, his curly hair is almost all gone now. He’s has 3 haircuts and the curls kept staying but after the 3rd hair cut, his hair is much less curly but still has nice body and wave in it. I definitely prefer Levi’s hair longer and Truett’s shorter. Levi has much more fine hair whereas Tru’s is really thick. Interesting how siblings can have features that are so different. Aside from the boys having the same color eyes and hair, they don’t really look much alike to me at all…. 

….But that doesn’t stop Levi from imitating every.single.thing. that Tru does. Whenever we walk to the car from the gym, they have this little pattern they like to do. First, they want to touch the trash can. And even though it only started because Tru (and then Levi, of course) threw away some trash once, Levi thinks he has to touch the can every time. Then a couple times Tru stuck his foot in this crack inbetween the side walk and the building. So now Levi has to do that too. And they HAVE to walk in the gravel beside the building. If Tru asks for a banana, Levi asks for one too. If one of them gets their sippy cup, they both have to have a sippy cup AT THE SAME TIME. And they ask for their cups every time we get in the car. Every time. Every single time. …. If Tru gets his blankie, Levi runs to his room crying for his blankie too. DH remarked last night “You guys aren’t twins! You don’t always have to do the same things!” Oh yes. Yes they do. It’s quite hilarious to me and I have grown used to making sure everything is fair and equal and they always have the same things at the same time… Now that I type that up, I wonder if that is healthy or if I should work on teaching them that they can’t ALWAYS do the the same exact things….? Hmmmm. 

Levi is usually pretty calm but a few times recently he’s let his temper show. A few weeks ago we were going into the grocery store and in the parking lot he started screaming about something, I’m not really sure what. He started throwing himself on the ground and I had to half-drag him into the store as I had my hands full. Once inside, he continued his temper tantrum throwing himself on the floor and screaming like the world was ending. I picked him up but I couldn’t hang onto him because he was doing that classic arms-in-the-air, worm manuvuer that kids do. So I’m carrying him to the bathroom as fast as I can so I can try to figure out what his issue is, with his coat sliding up over his head, his body flailing and him screaming at the top of his lungs. The shoppers were parting like the Red Sea to make a path for us, horrified looks on their faces and I, in all my Mom-of-the-year wonderfulness, just burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. We were a horrible sight. No one, including me, knew why this kid was screaming, and by all accounts, it looked like he was being mishandled even though I was doing my best. As soon as we got to the bathroom, I walked right in to the open stall, totally not noticing that there was a lady waiting in line for it. When we came out and I saw her, I appoologized and she just smiled and said it was ok. After that, Levi was cool as a cucumber. He calmed down like it was no big deal. Toddlers… gotta love ’em. 😉 

I’m thankful for how snuggly Levi is. From time to time he will sit in my lap and just snuggle. He asks to “Hold you!” (But it sounds like “Holchu”) constantly. Especially if he thinks he will get crried around. He begs DH to carry him around every evening. It’s their bonding time, I guess. 

Also, he still asks to use the toilet quite a bit and I try to take him whenever he asks. It’s not real consistant yet but he does recognize when he needs to go, especially number 2, and tells me so I can take him. I’m really happy about that! 

Dear God, thank You for this beautiful little boy. Thank You for the things he’s learning and for the relationship that he is already starting to have with You. Please watch over and protect Levi and keep him healthy. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Our tree survived with not one broken ornament. If fact, the boys left the tree alone almost completely. I was shocked!! I told Levi to touch the ornament in this pic.


Mommy’s chubbers little boy


These boys are serious about their water


I told Tru to pack 2 cups… but I mean… you wouldn’t want to get thirsty or anything.


Levi stole a cadbury egg while I was in the checkout line. I turned around and it he was eating chocolate.


But he rocks a manitail!


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I grew up very sheltered.

That’s actually an understatement.

I was homeschooled and there were times that, aside from going to church on Sunday, I didn’t leave the house for weeks or even a month at a time. I feel, as an adult, that it affected my ability to form friendships with people because I usually go through this incredibly awkward phase when meeting new people. I don’t know what to say and I get so nervous that I stutter and it’s embarrassing. Once I am around them awhile, and especially if they are good at making conversation, I feel much better. And actually, I think I am beginning to improve in this area. But it has definitely taken concentrated effort from me. Part of that is my personality, I’m sure. But I definitely think some of it comes from not having a whole lot of experience in social settings.

Side note: I don’t regret the fact that I was homeschooled. That wasn’t an issue. In fact, I actually liked that aspect of my life a lot because I didn’t have to get up super early every day and we often got extra time off from our homework because we were able to finish early. I graduated a year early too, so that was nice. One thing that I would maybe change for myself and would definitely do differently for my children if I homeschool them, would be to use different curriculum. I had to get my GED because the curriculum we used did not give us a diploma, even though we had good grades. It just wasn’t part of the program. I passed my GED easily but I always felt a bit embarrassed that I didn’t have an actual diploma. I know I shoudn’t feel that way and I don’t feel that way about other people who work hard to get their GED…. Anyway…..

My parents, espescially my mom, worked hard to shelter us from bad influences. I respect them for that. At the same time, I feel like I can speak from my past experience that issolating (versus protecting) your children from virtually everyone may keep them from learning things you don’t want them to learn, but only for a time. Kids form their own ideas and opinions about things and what they asssume to be true may very well end up being worse than the actual truth. That is why I will always try to be open and honest with my kids about the hard to talk about things, like drugs and sex and so on. I’m not sure what the appropriate age is to talk about these things with your kids but I know I certainly had some ideas about what sex was by the time I was 10 years old. When my kids ask me about it, I hope I will be able to explain these things to them in an age appropriate but honest way.

Even though I appreciate how hard my mom (and dad in his own, less extreme way) worked to keep us safe and innocent, I really don’t ever want my kids to live that shut off and recluse of a life. I was lonely sometimes. It helped a LOT that I had siblings. However, there is 5.5 years betweeen me and my older sister and almost 5 years between me and my next younger sister so I didn’t really have anyone my age to talk to, though I was/am very close to my sisters. I did have friends but I just didn’t see them often enough. When we finally did have plans to get together with friends, I was always grounded because I was a rather angry and mouthy teen (cussing my parents out would be the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately). It is/was obvious to me why I was so angry… because I was mad that I could never do anything or go many places. I just don’t think my mom was able to understand that because she grew up so differently that maybe she didn’t realize how it would feel to be that closed off. My younger siblings have SO MUCH more freedom than I ever did!

I think a big part of why my mom kept me at home so much was fear… Fear because she had bad past experiences. Fear because of things that happened to her sisters. I get that. And being vigilant is a good thing and I hope to always be aware and vigilant so I don’t put my children in compromising situations. But letting fear take over and letting it dictate your life is never a good thing. I don’t blame my mom at all and I’m not mad at her. I know she was just trying to keep her kids safe so they wouldn’t face any bad situations. She loves us and wanted to protect us. That I understand. But you can take a good thing way too far. Which I also understand. As a parent now myself, I am able to give her grace for her mistakes as a parent because this job is hard and I get that now. I struggle with my own fears for my children, which are different than hers but just as present, I would imagine.

I’m not really sure what I’m even trying to say here. I guess I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately and trying to use my childhood experiences to say “This is what was good and this is what I didn’t like. What can I do to find the right balance for my children?”

  • I need so much to go to the gym tomorrow. I haven’t gone since 3 days before Christmas. Partly because we had colds, partly because we had company and haven’t had much time at all. I planned to go today but ended up having to drop a (4th this season! DH is on some kind of a roll!) deer off at the processor almost an hour in the opposite direction. So tomorrow, Lord willing, I’ll get to go. It’s better now that both Tru and Levi like the childcare and Levi doesn’t cry when I leave. He used to so much that sometimes I’d have to just go back home. 
  • I finished my 5th day of Femara yesterday. Last month the only side effect I noticed was (tmi?) dryness. Well, and ovary pain. But that just gave me hope it was working. 
  • After my post about Tru’s fever, that night it went up to 104.9f again. The next morning (01/02) I called the rheumatologist’s office but they were closed for the holiday. The on-call dr sent us to urgent care for blood work and to rule out pneumonia, uti, and ear infection since Tru had a cold. The blood work showed elevated CRP and ESR. Like last time he had a high fever (without being sick) but higher levels this time. I don’t know if that might have just been because of the cold? … I have tried twice to get in touch with his Dr through email and voicemail but still have not gotten to talk to the Dr about the results or if he needs a follow up. I guess I’ll have to try calling again tomorrow…
  • I am soooo overdue to post a Levi update! I hope to get one posted soon. He has grown so much lately in maturity and size. I love his squishy self so much!! He is constantly talking and talks so well for his age. Can’t believe he’s almost 22 months! 
  • Tru keeps hugging me and saying “I love you so much, Mommy!” And then, being the jokester that he is, he will say “I don’t love you so much.” and giggle to try to get me to tickle him. 😉
  • I finally started mudding in my living room so I can get it painted! I have the colors picked out. Light gray with a dark gray/hunter green accent wall. I hope I’m happy with the way it looks finished. 🙂   

And because this picture keeps cracking me up…. 

I came across this in my archives. I wrote it about 2 years ago but wanted to share it again in case it could help anyone else.
I guess I should start with a disclaimer – I’m not a dr, DUH. I don’t know everything or even really that much about clotting issues but I have them so… take that. 
I have been wanting to write about this for awhile now but today I read a blog that was the final straw. As you know, I have MTHFR which is short for Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase – not what you thought, ha! I am homozygous with the C677T variation. All a really long way of saying that my body has a hard time methylating b vitamins especially b12, b6 and folic acid. I can’t absorb most b vitamins unless they are in their methylated forms so I have to buy a b vitamin supplement that is already broken down. (It’s called Homocystex Plus.) MTHFR also causes blood clotting issues. It’s actually more common than you think but hardly anyone gets tested for it because A) they don’t know to, B) drs are pretty ignorant about it (sorry drs. study up on this please!) C) practically nobody understands it or how to treat it, D) it’s expensive to test for and it’s usually on a whole panel that requires 14 vials of blood. ( I also just found out the other day that I had actually tested positive for Anti cardiolipin antibodies and have an elevated prothromibin time. Nobody thought it was important to tell me that but I read it in the report that I have a copy of from when I had that testing done. Thankfully, they are also treated the same as MTHFR.)
 
The fact of the matter remains, MTHFR causes infertility, implantation failure, both early and late term pregnancy loss and is incredibly easy to treat. Drs can disagree with that all they want but many other Drs agree with that statement. But you know what? It’s just one of a whole bunch of little known and “minor” issues that potentially cause clotting especially in the smallest blood vessels – in the uterus where the baby is trying to dig in and implant and where the placenta is drawing it’s life giving blood and oxygen from. 
 
MTHFR and a host of other “minor” clotting disorders can be treated by injectable blood thinners such as Heparin and Lovenox along with low dose Asprin. The blood thinners and asprin are started after ovulation/egg retrieval or asprin can be used continuously (which it usually should be if you have a clotting disorder – check with your Dr) and blood thinner shots can be started with a positive pregnancy test. You should also be on a methylated b vitamin supplement (regular b vitamins are not usable by your body) if you have MTHFR. Most drs will prescribe you a high dose vitamin b compound but it’s not as useable as just getting a high quality methylated supplement.
 
So, back to the blog that was the final straw. A woman with RPL who’s latest loss was at 20 weeks! Finally, for her SEVENTH pregnancy, somebody had the brains to check her for clotting disorders and they found that she had a “minor” one and given her “history” they decided to FINALLY treat her with Heparin. (Ya think??) Carried that baby to term. Case closed. I could also tell you the story of my friend who had at least 9 losses but carried her last baby to term and used blood thinner during that pregnancy. 
 
Obviously I’m not saying that blood thinners could prevent all loses. Definitely not!! There are genetic issues in the baby sometimes that cause losses, infections, incompetent cervix and a host of other reasons which I don’t really need to spell out, but clotting related issues can often times be treated! 
 
My RE didn’t seem to consider my issues to warrant any action. I talked to my IVF nurse though and she said if I wanted to cover all my bases, I could go on a low dose of Lovenox. I think they were mostly just letting me use it so I would feel proactive and so that they could say all my bases were covered. Turns out, as it was quite obvious during my pregnancy with Truett, blood thinner was quite important! So much so that my dose has been upped for this pregnancy. Again, I’m not saying it is fail proof. But with Tru, thank You Jesus, it helped! I hope that this time, the blood thinners will help keep my baby safe in there. Please God, protect this baby according to Your will and help it to get all the blood and oxygen flow that it needs in my womb. I pray that it will be safe in there and live and grow and be well and strong and healthy. In Jesus’ name, amen. 
 
All that to say this, if you have stumbled over this blog and you have had repeat failed IVF’s, RPL, or unexplained losses, please push your dr to test you for clotting and immune issues. And if they find ANYTHING, I don’t care how “minor” it is, (because let’s face it, when blood vessels are clogging, is there really anything “minor” about that?) and I don’t care how they feel about issues like MTHFR, get on Lovenox or Heparin and Asprin. If your dr refuses to treat you, see another dr! This is serious business. I have seen this happen SO MANY TIMES on SO MANY BLOGS. Women couldn’t get or stay pregnant, after tons of failed cycles or so many devastating losses, got treated and bam. Finally they have their baby(s). 
 
Something to think about. 
Shared: Implantation Failure, Failed IVF’s, RPL, Unexplained Infertility – Please Read This – http://wp.me/p34rdD-tI

Truett has been running a low-grade fever for the last 4 days as we have all had a mild cold. He has a stuffy nose off and on and coughs occasionally at night. Levi ran a very slight temp of about 99.8 a couple times throughout this week and that was it. But with Tru, fevers always have been high and scary. 

Last night Tru woke up at 4am shivering uncontrolably with no fever. I put him in bed with us to warm him up and as it has happened before, not long after that he was burning up. I gave him Tylenol and checked his temp and it was 104.9F. Less than 5 minutes later his temp had risen to 105.9 and he began crying. DH went to get the ibuprofen from the kitchen while I wiped Tru with a cool cloth. Tru sat up in my lap and threw up a bunch of mucus and cried. I let him sip on Pedialyte while I kept wiping his body down until I could finally get him to take the ibuprofen. After maybe 15-20 minutes his temp was around 103 which I realize is the temp when most parents would start freaking out but sadly, with Tru and his history of really high fevers, DH and I almost start to relax ever so little once his temp drops to that range…. 

Anyway, sometime around 5am, he said “Pray me.” meaning of course that he wanted me to pray for him. I told him that I had been praying for him (silently) but that I would pray again. So I laid down next to him and prayed for him out loud. A few minutes later he started mumbling stuff which I couldn’t understand and then he said excitedly “God made me better!” Then he started looking around the room and saying “I see Santa Claus! He has sheep!” I turned and said to DH “Santa doesn’t have sheep!” And Tru continued on to say “There’s God! There’s Noah’s Ark and animals. See River?” And he pointed toward the side of the room. The dog was in the family room…. Then he told me he wanted to go home. I told him we are home but he said we weren’t. That really made me panic. I called my mom thinking that we might need her to come stay with Levi while we took Tru to the ER. We talked while Tru picked imaginary things off my shirt and she calmed me down a bit while we waited to see if the ibuprofen would bring his temp down a bit more. Tru was obviously hallucinating but I can’t help but think it was more than that. I kept checking his temp and it was 103-104. He would look at us and answer our questions but he kept seeing all these imaginary things. He talked about food that he could see, fire that was blowing, spider man, curious George, touching my face and chest and thinking he was touching Levi, and asked me “What’s that?” pointing at the ceiling. I told him I couldn’t see anything and he said “It’s God.” 

Finally his temp dropped more and he fell asleep around 6am. So the whole episode from him shivering, to his temp rising until it dropped down to under 103 was only 2 hours but it felt like forever!! 

This morning I asked him if he saw Santa Claus and some of the other things he’d mentioned last night. He said no. Then he told me “God was fixing me. He was scary.” I told him that God isn’t scary, He loves Tru. And then Tru said something like “He needs to talk. He was just quiet.” All day Tru has maintained this story, telling my sister when she came over “I was in mommy’s bed and God made me better!” 

I don’t know what to think of all this. It was really scary. I’ve had hallucinations from high fevers myself a number of times but when you see it happen to your child, it is really really scary. I’m so glad his fever came down relatively fast although it did take an hour of wiping him with cool cloths ect. But after his story I am more inclined to believe that God made him better than anything we did. 

He has had a slight temp today and has been pretty mellow although he has played a bit and eaten fairly well. I’m going to call his Dr tomorrow to tell them what happened since I am supposed to call them with any fevers he gets as a follow up from the fever episodes he was having. I just can’t help but think maybe Tru had a little glimpse into the spiritual realm last night and what he descibed was certainly amazing and comforting in a really freaky way. 

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