RE Visit Summary

Remember how how I said that maybe I had ovarian cysts that were preventing my cycle from coming? Well, it finally did come on CD 47 (!!!) which is the latest I have ever been without being pregnant. But I really don’t know why it was so late. 

On CD 44 I went to see my RE. We basically had a pre-conception consultation and talked about the possible cysts and ran blood work to check where all my hormones are falling at now. Progesterone was elevated so I definitely did ovulate, according to the Dr, which I was almost certain I had. And I am about 100% certain I didn’t ovulate late yet I was 3 weeks late to start….? All the other tests came back within normal levels. (Testosterone, thyroid, FSH etc) 
They did an ultrasound while I was there and the Dr asked if I had ever been diagnosed with PCOS because my ovaries almost looked that way. Even I could definitely see lots of black spots (cysts) on them. I told him I hadn’t been diagnosed with that before (thankfully!) so he ordered AMH on the blood work as well. It came back at 6.87ng/ml which is within normal range but actually higher than when I was 22. ETA: I am actually a little confused about this. Higher AMH is usually thought to be good because it points to higher ovarian reserve, but I’ve also read that it can indicate PCOS…  He didn’t say anything about the cysts making my cycle late though so maybe my theory was bogus. The Dr didn’t seem overly concerned about the cysts…? I am supposed to follow up in Feb. 

He asked if I wanted to give a couple cycles of medicated TI a try before doing a SA and possibly moving on to other treatment (I am thinking if we move on to more advanced treament, it would probably be AT LEAST another year). I decided to go ahead and try Femara 2.5mg for 2 months. Because, why not…. If he thinks it’s worth a try then I might as well try it. I opted not to take Clomid because I had such a horrible time on it last time I tried it 6 years ago. I’ve never tried Femara before but I am on day 2 of 5 now. I guess we will see how it goes. I have realistic expectations but I also know what my God can do so I am leaving it in His hands. So, yeah, that’s where I am at right now. Very thankful for good test results! 🙂 

TTC Update

So, this should be a quick update since there really isn’t much to say. Last month was a flop as I never really determined what was going on with my body. I think I f inally ovulated around CD 22 even though I had thought I was ovulating around CD 14. We most likely BD around whatever was my actual ovulation. So basically I had a forever 2ww. It was a bit torturous for whatever reason.* DH and I both decided it was just too stressful to think about it right now and made the decision to not track my cycle for now. No OPK’s etc. I don’t know what CD I am on now and it is very freeing! It is hard to let go but it feels so much more “natural” this way. If you think about it, “normal” fertile couples don’t half the time even know about, much less understand ovulation and they get pregnant ALLLL the time. Therefore, we shouldn’t have much less of a chance of hitting ovulation than they do. The name of the game for now is not trying/not preventing. I know I should  have AF (period) come around Christmas time but I don’t know what day and I’m not getting the calendar out to check. I know my cycles are probably still going to be wonky for a bit due to breastfeeding so I’m taking that into consideration. I’m very careful to take my low dose aspirin every day in the off chance that I may conceive since it is absolutely vital that I be on some form of blood thinner in order to have implantation and sustain a baby.

*I was talking to someone the other day about how awful it felt to spiral back into the world of obsessive TTC and I realized that probably the reason why it stresses me out so badly to track my cycles now, even though I am not desperately wanting another baby at the moment, is because it takes me back to THAT time period. The desperation of those years. The futility and struggle and fear. It’s like a horrible f lash-back and I don’t know how to just “normal people” try for a baby. It’s all or nothing. So I have to do nothing right now for my sanity’s sake and also because I don’t want to miss out on my babies that I already have because I am struggling to have another. I just want to place it in God’s hands and see what He provides. I am not against the idea of trying in the future, but for now I just have to step back and let it go.