Archives for the month of: November, 2015

So…. my opks never turned fully positive but got darker for 2 days then faded out. That was about 10-11 days ago I think. I continued using opks every day out of curiosity. I had bad ovarian pain that came around a week ago and got pretty bad. It was shooting down my thigh and butt cheek, and aching in my back. Loss of appetite, sore nips (like they were on fire), very mild nausea – no, I did not think these were pregnancy symptoms. They started way too early to be pregnancy. 2 days ago the opks turned positive and stayed positive through yesterday. I also experienced BAD ovarian pain and cramping that ended up culminating in a ruptured cyst yesterday evening. This wasn’t my first rodeo and it was the least painful cyst so far, thank God! I took 800mg of ibuprofen and 1 Tylenol when the pain started to get intense. Then I laid down and had what felt close to mild-labor level pain for just a bit before the ovarian pain stopped. DH prayed for me and I prayed through it and thankfully it wasn’t awful. I got pretty anxious when the pain got more intense because I know how horrible it can get. I’m a little achy in my abdomen today but feeling so much better than the last week. The opks are negative now. I am 100% sure i didn’t ovulate yesterday….no signs pointed to being in the fertile window. So I am almost sure this was an altogether anovulatory cycle. My theory is, the follicle that started to grow, never released and turned into a cyst. I’m wondering if I’ll have a long cycle now…. AF is due next week. Breastfeeding/ pumping 8-12 times a day/night is probably throwing me off still.

*So for the record ladies, ovarian cysts DO turn opks positive. Dr Google was right for once! Woohoo!*

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I don’t know why but I just haven’t felt like taking the time to sit down and write a post for a couple weeks now. I really need to get an update out on Levi as he is growing and changing quickly at the moment! Maturing by leaps and bounds all the time. This is a GREAT age. I love watching him learn right now with his little tongue sticking out. 😉

Unfortunately, he has had a stuffy nose off and on for weeks now and a cough here and there. I think the runny nose is allergies because it only happens some days. I haven’t pin-pointed what yet though….

Levi has 4 teeth now! 2 on the top and 2  on the bottom. He seems to get puffy, sore gums that may bleed a little for a day or two beforehand. He gets a little fussy and then a few days later, there’s a tooth!

He is crawling EVERYWHERE and as I predicted, he does follow us around. I think it’s adorable except when I’m trying to go to the bathroom alone. 😉 He also pulls up to a kneeling position and sits himself up which he has been doing for awhile.

He notices DH waaaaaaay more than he used to and cries for him almost every time he sees him. DH can hardly walk away without Levi crying for him. I think it’s adorable although it makes me a tad jealous because Levi seems to prefer DH over me sometimes as he will even reach and fuss for DH when I am holding him.

I think he is a bit of a tattletale already. 😉 Sometimes when he feels like Tru is in his personal space bubble, he will fuss and look right at me like: “He’s bothering me, MOM!”

He takes most naps on his own now. 🙂 He still fusses but usually not for long at all. He likes the fan on and the room dark. We have been laying him down at night earlier because he is a night owl and will gladly stay up and play until 11pm and beyond. I had to implement CIO to get him on an earlier schedule but tonight is only night 2 and he laid down and fussed for probably less than 30 seconds before going to sleep. 🙂 I admit that I still let him in my bed sometimes when he falls asleep nursing in the night and I just snuggle him while he/we sleeps. I probably should never do that just so I don’t confuse him but… sentimentality is a real thing.

Levi is nursing at night more now than before. I don’t deny him since I know he needs to sustain himself somehow since he’s still not eating much. More on that later. But occasionally, I know he’s just waking to nurse because he wants in our bed and in those cases, we skip the boob. But it’s normal to nurse him around 4-6am and 7-9am. If it’s as late as 9am then he is up for the day. More often now he will nurse at 12-2am as well.

EATING:

He still won’t eat but a few bites of purees. I faithfully try almost daily. I usually can get him to eat 2-4 bites. Our record is almost 1 jar but that only happened once. I don’t want to force the issue as, after a few bites, he turns his head and will even retch occasionally. His “favorite” is apricot/pear/apple so it’s usually the only one I try. Even when I give him what we are eating in small pieces, he doesn’t eat a lot. But he does like apple flavored rice rusks and will eat 3 at a time. He likes puffs and feeds them to himself. He likes fruit and veggie melts and will self feed those as well. I gave him pieces of cooked potato this evening on his tray and he fed that to himself. He drops a lot of food while feeding himself but he seems to enjoy the process and it keeps him busy. I didn’t anticipate doing BLW but that’s what he wants to do so, there’s that. As long as he is thriving and growing, I’m happy. Although admittedly still a little sad that I didn’t get to make him tons of homemade purees because that was actually pretty fun with Tru. And I had saved tons of containers from Tru’s baby food to use with Levi. But I’m also finding that this method isn’t all bad (I mean, it’s not “bad” at all – it’s just not what I had planned to do) because he does get to try a wide variety of food and eats what we are eating at his own pace. He has tried so many things (many of which he shouldn’t have tried yet) – meatloaf, pizza, pringles (Tru made crumbs and Levi got them. He picks up EVERYTHING), beans, peas, banana, pork tenderloin, burger, fries, ketchup, rice… tons more stuff. SO, there’s that. 🙂

Dear God, I pray that You will please protect and watch over Levi. Please help him to continue growing and developing well. Thank You for all the health he has and learning he has done. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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The self-feeder in action. Trying out his 4th tooth the morning we discovered it.

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Deciding that he's done shopping. Why don't cart buckles loosen more than that? Half the time I can't loosen it enough to buckle him!!

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Ah, yeah!! I found my way into mom's bed!! This is the life!

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He LOVES the race car carts! He hangs on to the steering wheel and surprised me by acting like he knows what he's doing. Of course, Tru is a good teacher. 😉

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Cutting teeth is not fun!!

Yay! All crappy phone pics!

I promise I’m not going to bore you with monthly TTC updates. I might just stop tracking because it’s causing me stress. I knew it would make me obsessive. I know too fricken much about the human reproductive system. Thanks years of IF! You’re a real pal. NOT!

I’m not sure why but I feel kind of weird about writing about our further TTC journey here. I guess maybe because I am worried people will think I should just be thankful for the babies I have and move on with life. While I agree that I should be thankful – and I am!! OH, how I am!!! – I also don’t think that experiencing IF should mean that I have to change the dreams I have for our family. I hope that makes sense without sounding callous. I have been there. Childless and IF. I do remember and I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to read these updates. Which is another reason why I won’t be posting a ton of them. At least not for now.

So, I’m approximately 7dpo… or maybe I didn’t ovulate this month. I don’t know. It’s hard to say. I did IC OPKs for like 2 weeks. They got fairly dark and then faded out. But never turned actual positive. I was using them once a day and I might not have taken them regularly enough. So I probably just missed my surge. But if I go by the darkest ones I got, I would say, 7dpo most likely. I have had really bad ovary pain since 4-5dpo. That’s clearly too early to feel pregnancy symptoms so I’m freaking out wondering of it’s a cyst. I’ve had those in the past and they are MISERY when they rupture. The thing is, it was on the left side only until today and now it’s on both sides. I’m still using OPKs every day in case I just never ovulated and I’m getting ready to, but they are super faint. The pain is radiating to my hip and thigh and everything.

I had light spotting at 5dpo for several hours. Dr G.oogle said I’m pregnant. Dr G.oogle said that was implantation bleeding. Dr G.oogle said ovary pain is a sign of pregnancy too and Dr G.oogle makes me mad!!

I’m having the usual suspects in terms of fake pregnancy symptoms that are also PMS symptoms so I’m not even going there. I don’t believe in pregnancy symptoms before the hCG is pumping. But, I did what any blithering idiot at 7dpo does and I tested with a 10miu IC and got… come on, do I really need to tell you what I got? It’s 7ish dpo! I think we all know it was glaringly white. Believe me, I am a really good test reader. I’ve read at least a billion in my lifetime.

So, I’ve been mad the rest of the evening because, DUH, pms. And we don’t have any real chocolate around here… That’s mostly it. I don’t need to be pregnant right now. That’s all fine and dandy. Once again though, I’m not loving the infertile situation of not getting to CHOOSE if/when I want another baby. I am, however, remembering to balance that with how incredibly blessed I am already. I am in no way forgetting that.

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