Archives for the month of: October, 2013

       Wow! I can’t believe my baby is already over 2 weeks old! Its been a fun, tired, booby filled, precious moments time. I can’t describe the joy being a mommy has brought me except that it is almost exactly as I thought it would be and it feels 100% right and like I’ve always been meant to be Truett’s mommy. I will never be able to forget the 5 years it took to get him and the trials, tears, prayers, pain, heartache, conflict and hope that we endured to get here. It was worth it. Truett is worth every teary, hopeless moment. I wouldn’t change the journey that brought us to him although there are lots of parts I would just as soon forget. Especially the hopeless, gut-wrenching crying sessions. And the depression. There is a reason we went through infertility. I will probably never know why on this earth. I’m just glad God gave us the strength to keep trying until we got our baby boy.
We’ve been working on growing this boy into the job of breastfeeding. He actually did quite well at first. The 2 weeks were excellent in terms of him learning to latch on and sucking for a good 10-15 minutes. But the last several days he has really been regressing. He wants to nurse about 5 minutes and get the first let-down, then be done. If I change his diaper, sometimes he will go a bit longer but this is getting ridiculous. Its annoying to me that I HAVE to pump after every feeding because its hurting my milk supply for him not to drain the breast at every feeding. Also, at some feedings I’m having to give him the expressed milk either by dropper or, because that takes forever, sometimes the bottle. I dont understand the reason he won’t continue nursing when he did so fantastic in the beginning and the lactation consultant at the hospital was so impressed at how well he did. Any tips? I could really use some help dear readers!! I’ve never dealt with anything like this and I’m absolutely determined to get past this somehow, but so worried I will lose my milk in the process. Its absurd that I should have to worry about this. My milk came in on day 2 and I had seriously enough milk for triplets easily. I HAD to pump for relief and just pumping to get enough milk out to get comfortable left me with 100oz of breast milk in the freezer. So you can see how frustrating it is to be experiencing a serious drop in production now and being forced to pump just to keep enough milk in for his feedings. At least, I hope its enough. Also, I now have a breast infection which is hard. I was so worried something would come up and I wouldn’t get to breastfeed and I’m feeling very anxious now. I want this so much for my boy.
My little guy still hiccups on the same schedule he kept in utero which I find fascinating. He positively hates having the hiccups but its so cute! Other little habits he has include projectile pooping, (he got my entire body today including my face), appearent inability to work up a good cry, (he’s much to easy-going for that), laughing in his sleep, (like daddy. Soon he will probably say I’m fat in his sleep.), rolling onto his sides, (everyone tells me he’s too young to do this. He’s been doing it since birth. Even in the hospital I would lay him down on his back and within minutes he would be on one of his sides all snuggled up. I worried the nurses would think I was doing it.) , he looks around the room when he hears daddy talking, he has only spit up about 5 times in his whole life. I’ve only actually witnessed 1 real spit up and it was about a half teaspoon. He’s like mommy I guess and hates to barf.
So, as you can tell, he’s pretty awesome. We think he’s just perfect. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Obviously. Duh!
I’m almost done with my lovenox. Just a little over 3 weeks to go! I was thinking the other day, my shot totals for the ivf and pregnancy probably run somewhere around 700. I’m pretty brave I guess lol. Hey, he’s worth it! My csec cut looks great. The dr did a good job. It looks way too small to pull a whole baby out of. Its still swollen a bit and sore and I keep pulling it wrong and it feels like I’m ripping it open, but all in all, its not nearly as awful as I thought it would be. My engorged boobies hurt a lot worse than my incision!
So, tips on keeping my milk in, getting baby to actively suck for more than 5 minutes (nothing bothers this kid. Not even cold rags), breast infection home remedies…. I’ll take any advice you have to offer please!
Thanks in advance.
God, please help little Tru to nurse efficiently and to get all the milk he needs. Help my body to continue providing him the nourishment he needs. Please watch over Tru and keep him healthy and strong. In Jesus’ name, amen

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     I’ll start by giving you fair warning. This is probably going to be a bit long as I hope to relate our baby’s birth in as great of detail as I can since this is probably the only time I will write it down and I want to remember everything.
      Friday morning I woke up to go to my nst at 10:45am. I’m about 1 and a half hours from hospital A where I was doing all my twice weekly monitoring because its closer than hospital B where my MFMs are and where I would be delivering. I got up at about 8:15am and got ready. Baby wasn’t moving much. I had been having a hard time sleeping because I was so worried about him. He was barely passing his kick counts. He used to do 10 moves in 7 to 25 minutes but now he was taking all of 2 hours and just about to fail when I would finally get my 10th very wimpy movement. I was having to really consentrate to get the kick counts done and this had been going on since Monday. Of course on Tuesday at my nst we had seen that my contractions where making his heartrate drop quite low even though he managed to pass the rest of his nst. I just wanted him out. I was worried since. I tried to do kick counts on the way to my monitoring Friday morning because I wasn’t feeling him move all morning. I don’t think he quite passed. I was just so glad to get to the hospital. On my way out the door I looked at our hospital bags and thought about taking them but decided that would be unnecessary. Afterall, I wasnt planning on having a baby that day. Something told me to grab the camera though as it was hanging from the door knob. So I did. On my way to the hospital I realised that I had not taken my heparin shot that morning. I’ve been taking my shots of this drug or that since January and that was the first shot I missed ever. That was a God thing!! I prayed over and over that if my baby needed out that God would help us know so we could get him out on time.
      At the hospital on the monitor, Truett’s heartbeat kept dropping when he would move. It scared me so bad. The nurse asked if it had done that Tuesday and I told her that it had when I was having contractions and that it was scaring me. She left the room to keep an eye on things. I could tell she didn’t like it but he had started to move and had a good acceleration so she took us off the monitor. I was very nearly crying. I knew he needed out. My favorite ultrasound tech came in for our weekly fluid check and I told her I wanted this baby out because I was worried sick about him not moving enough and not feeling right. She did my ultrasound and showed a lot of concern that she wasn’t finding enough fluid. I think she saw fluid only in 2 quadrants even though she looked and looked and finally found a tiny little spot up by the mass of cord at his head. The tech who had measured his fluid at 12cm the week before had appearently measured the cord as a fluid pocket. I knew she did! I was more than a bit upset. Anyway, this tech found it to be at 6.7 I believe. She took these results along with my nst strip and pictures of my very old looking placenta to the dr. A few minutes later they both came back and the dr said “go ahead and head on over to (hospital B). I think you need to be delivered today!” She then asked when I had last eaten and said my csection would probably be around 3 or a bit after since they needed to wait for my stomach to empty. The tech said not to rush over too quickly as she didn’t want me to speed through traffic but to definitely get there as soon as I safely could. I told her my in-laws would stop at my house to get our bags. I then hugged the tech while trying so hard not to cry. I was a shaky, emotional mess. She said to send baby pictures and I left to head to the hospital. I stopped at the bathroom on the way out and called DH. I broke down crying and could barely get out the words “get over to (hospital B). We’re having a baby today.” He said ok and all I could manage was a teary “Bye.” I then called my parents to let them know and called my sister. I was so shook up I missed my exit and had to turn around. I finally got to the hospital about 40 minutes later and me and DH went up to triage. They took us to a L&D room and hooked me up to fluids and put the baby on the monitor. They flushed 2 bags of fluids through me in a very short time. It made me freezing cold and shaky. The baby’s heartbeat dropped when I had a very long, hard contraction and this time it stayed down. I started to lose it to DH who tried to calm me down. He didn’t really get what was happening at first. He was reading me the dropping numbers. When it hit the 70s I was about to fall apart. 2 Drs and a nurse ran in the room and got me on my side. His heartbeat went up a bit but I was still freaking out. The anesthesiologist came in and I told him I was worried about bleeding to death and worried about the spinal. He said they were checking my blood to make sure my numbers were ok for the spinal. It was taking awhile and everyone was getting tense. The Dr who would be performing the csection came in and said she could have the baby out in 40 seconds once we were in the operating room if his heartbeat dropped again and that regardless of if my blood work came back or not, if it dropped again we were going from urgent to emergent and she was getting that baby out. (They would just put me out if that happened) The nurse started washing my belly. I kept asking if they would put the baby on my chest at the delivery and they kept saying no. The nurse finally said something about me realising I was having an urgent csection. They said it wasn’t possible and I finally gave up. In hindsight it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Thank God my blood came back good just a few minutes later and they took me back. Everyone was just saying how good it was I had missed my heparin that morning.
       Before I knew what was happening they had my spinal in. I felt my behind and legs get warm and start to tingle as they went to sleep so to speak. They gave me a cocktail in my IV and I felt really weird. I felt my baby kick for the last time in my belly. The nurse put in a catheter and began prepping me. The dr came in and I felt so strange. I vaugly remember flinging my arms out and nurses grabbing them and holding my hands. At some point they strapped them down and I looked over and saw that it was now DH holding my hand. I remember so little after that. The anesthesiologist said my blood pressure dropped vety low and he gave me something to calm me down. I nearly cried. I did not want that drug. I knew that drug too well and knew I would forget everything after that. Thank God I stuck with it even if just a little but the rest of the day is choppy and blurry and I only remember a few things mostly things we have pictures of. I do remember feeling a tugging in my ribs as they pulled my baby out. They held him above the curtain for a split second. He was so beautiful. The dr said he was sleeping. I knew she was trying not to scare me. They got him in the little bed and he started screaming! It was the very most beautiful sound I ever heard! I was crying so hard. DH was standing there snapping pictures and I kept telling him over and over to take pictures. I was so mad that I couldn’t wipe my eyes because I could barely see but I was also going cross eyed from the drugs. That continued all the rest of the day and made me very upset that I couldn’t really focus on the baby’s face when I tried to see him. DH came over and told me the baby looked just like my brother. He was so smitten. The dr offered to let me see the placenta but we forgot to do that before we were moved.
       It seemed like no time before I was all sewed up and moved to recovery. I don’t remember who handed me the baby or when and I don’t remember holding him for the first time. I kind of remember a nurse trying to latch him on to nurse and I wasn’t much help. DH held him a bit and I took pictures. I know this because I found the pictures I took lol.
      Eventually we were moved to our room for the next 3 days. My in-laws and DH’s sister and her little girl came to see us. I don’t know how long they were there or anything but we all agreed the baby looked like me and my baby brother and a bit like my dad.
      Truett slept well that night getting up every 3 hours to nurse. He wasn’t really sucking. It was as if he had no idea how to suck at all. The nurses helped so much. Finally he figured it out. The nurses were above and beyond amazing. I had the best nurses the whole time I was there. They took awesome care of me and the baby. Obviously, they love their job. The talk of the town was appearently how much urine I was putting out. About 5,000cc every hour I think. One nurse came in and said I might not realize it but that was big exciting news around there. The next day they got me out of bed and I was moving around like nothing ever happened. They said I was the star csection patient on the floor. Everyone was telling me to stay ahead of the pain and take percoset before the pain got out of hand. By God’s grace, I really didn’t have any pain to speak of. I took my motrin and that was it. Nothing else. I was afraid I would be too drugged up to wake up and feed my baby boy and I sure didn’t want to miss any more of his first hours and days of life!!
      Truett was circumsised 2 days after his birth. I wanted to give him a chance to recover from the birth and a chance to establish our breastfeeding – that’s a boobalishious story for another day. I wish I could write about his first week now but the shower calls. Incidentally, yesterday was the date our csection was scheduled for and tomorrow he is 2 weeks old already! Time flys!
Dear God, thank You for Truett. Thank You for hearing my prayers and getting him delivered safely before anything bad could happen to him in there. Thank You for protecting Tru those 9 months and I ask that You will continue to bless, guard and protect him all throughout his life. In Jesus name, amen

     

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Remember in my last post I said this boy wanted out? He also needed out. I went for my twice weekly nst and weekly afi and his heartbeat was decelerating when he would move and when I had contractions. His fluid was 6. something. So we were sent for an urgent csection which is a story for another day. Just wanted to annouce his birth on oct 4, 2013. 6.6 pounds, 20&3/4 inches. 3:07pm. Thank You God for getting our baby here safely. In Jesus name, amen.

       Well, we definitely made it to full term. Honestly, I didn’t really think that would happen many times throughout my pregnancy. I’m not sure why. I guess because it was always one weird thing after another. But here we are! And I’m really starting to get antsy for this boy to GET OUT!!! Its not that I’m so done being pregnant… I’m just done being pregnant with him. My right hip is now giving me a lot of trouble in the pain department and getting up and down and especially trying to get out of bed is very painful. Walking isn’t easy either and my waddle is getting very pronounced again. I can’t help it! Its just all the pain. Otherwise though, I could continue for quite a bit longer. As long as I forego the urge to breathe or eat more than a few bites at a time. I’m definitely losing my appetite now and have to remind myself to eat. I have plenty of fat stored up though! I’ve gained about 38 pounds or so. I haven’t gained anything in the last 3 weeks (or at least I hadn’t last time I weighed myself) and may have even lost a pound or 2. But baby boy is still gaining!! You can take my word for it! He’s getting heavy in there, but since he’s breech I’m not feeling too much pelvic pressure. I think he has started to drop though. Definitely looking lower. I’ve been bouncing on the yoga ball a little. Nothing too exciting. Went for a walk which I paid dearly for later in hip pain, and I’ve told him he can come out now because he’s full term but he’s not budged a bit. In all seriousness though, I think he wants out too. He’s got to be miserable in there folded in half. His movement feels weird and constricted. Which makes me glad we have a checkup and ultrasound/nst tomorrow so we can make sure his swimming pool isnt drying up too much. Its probably just my annoying body that won’t cooperate and let him out. For 9 months I felt threatened by it, fearing my boy would be here to soon. But now my body is just chillin. Which could be a good thing/bad thing.  At my last nst Truett’s heartbeat would drop dramatically even during minor contractions that I couldn’t feel. I was worried and the nurse looked concerned so she asked the dr if she should let me go home because the rest of his nst was good but the dips were low. (I think around 80bpm or less) The dr said it was fine because he recovered and I could go. I wasn’t wanting to though. I have contractions way harder than that sometimes and it makes me worried that he could be getting distressed in there when I do. I feel like he needs out now while everything is still good. Why wait? Well, we want to be sure his lungs are good. I think they are because I feel him practice breathing in there. Its a weird feeling! Like he’s literally sitting in there breathing! Its so odd.
       My switch to heparin wasn’t a good as I hoped. The shot is alot less painful during the injection, but it does burn a bit afterwards. Not as much as lovenox though. But it bruises me terribly. I’ve got my belly plastered in bruises and the top of my thighs as well as my “love handles”. The worst part is that the injection sites swell like bee stings and itch. I’m not sure if that’s a normal reaction or not but I plan to ask the dr tomorrow. Not that there is anything they can do really. We just need to get the boy out! Lol. I feel bad for wanting to evict him after working so hard to get him in there and keep him in there but now I think I’m ready to have him in my arms. I will certainly miss being pregnant but, its time. The old saying “leave while you’re still having fun” comes to mind. At this point I think DH would have me hold baby in there awhile longer though. At first he was so ready but now he’s nervous. I get it but I don’t. Its not like we haven’t had 9 months to prepare. And lets face it, this pregnancy has been easy but at the same time hard. We had our positive beta at 3 weeks some odd days. So we knew long before most women find out and that just makes it all seem longer.
        I’ve finally gotten a few more meals froze. Nothing fancy. Potato soup, chilli, vegetable soup, lasagna, enchilladas… stuff that either has milk in it or makes you fart. Breastfeeding might get interesting on that diet. At least DH won’t starve.
      Speaking of DH… lastnight as I was struggling to heave myself out of bed, he-who-speaks-in-his-sleep-nightly about random things, said quite plainly: “can you handle all that?” I asked him: “all that what?” (I always answer him in his sleep. He says hillarious stuff usually and as long as I keep asking him questions he keeps answering.) He said: “all that weight!” In my most hurt and offened voice I replied: “yes, I can. Thankyouverymuch!!!” And with that I waddled away wondering how mean it would be to wake him up with a not so nice nudge. Don’t worry. I didn’t wake him. But he’s never going to hear the end of how his sleep talking finally got him in trouble. It was bound to happen eventually. I mean, I can handle him telling me how Chet Atkins wife is the luckiest women in the world (because she’s married to Chet and my husband is obsessed with guitar. He’s loves to play music and he loves Chet’s style) and I can handle all the little stories he tells me in his sleep about the guys at work. I can handle him sitting up in bed in the middle of the night laughing in his sleep, but calling me fat? I don’t think so!!
       I’ve got to accomplish something today besides sitting here so until next time…
     Dear God, thank You for all our many blessings. Thank You for this baby and I pray that he will be born at just the right time according to Your will and that we will both do very well throughout the birth and all events leading up to it. Please continue to protect him. In Jesus name, amen.

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