Archives for the month of: February, 2019

I found out today that Rocky is no longer at the shelter! I’m absolutely thrilled that he was “rescued”. (I’m not sure if that means he’s with a rescue group of if he was adopted. I didn’t ask the shelter specifically.)
I am, however, a little miffed that despite providing a complete vet record, shot and de-worming schedule and a paper stating his approximate age when we adopted him, which would have made him roughly 16 months old now… All that and they still listed his description as NOT neutered (I had him neutered last May and he had the tattoo to prove it) and UNDER a year old. 😢 I mean, I get it. Mistakes happen. But really, I don’t think it should be that difficult to notice that a dog has been fixed and to check the vet records and see the appropriate age. But whatever. 

What really made me sad is that they changed his name. And I do understand that the new owner would likely have changed his name anyway. But still … He knew his name. He answered to Rocky. Idk… 

Anyway, I’m just so relieved and glad that he was in the shelter for “only” a month (poor Rocky 😒) and that he’s hopefully enjoying his new home. I really hope he’s in a home without small children or other pets and can just be happy and loved and live a good life. I’d be devastated if the update was that he’s still sitting there waiting and waiting…..

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Let’s get the gender reveal suspense out of the way before getting to the mundane details of the week. πŸ˜‰ Our elective ultrasound was at 14+4 and despite my worries that it wouldn’t be easy to see at this stage, I’m feeling pretty confident that the ultrasound was correct. πŸ™‚ I immediately saw the bits and gasped “It’s a BOY!!” and we started laughing. The sonographer wasn’t even looking for the gender yet as she wanted to get a head and femur measurement first to see if we were measuring on track. (Baby is measuring 3 days ahead at 15 weeks) It was just so obvious!! Haha!! DH was looking down for a second and heard me exclaim “It’s a BOY!!” and quickly looked up at the screen and just laughed. 

Thankfully our other little boys who had been praying for a “girl baby” took it quite well. There was no crying (which I had been worried about) and Tru agreed that he loves the baby “even though” it’s not a girl. πŸ˜‚ I strongly believe the Lord knows what we need and apparently He wants us to have all the boys! The sonographer was the absolute best ever and printed Tru and Levi both a picture of the baby for their own to keep. They held onto those pictures all evening. The website said we would be getting 4 black and white prints and a sneak peek in 3d with no prints. In fact, we walked away with a gift bag containing probably 12 black and white pictures and a couple 3d. It was an awesome experience and I’m so glad we went. Baby boy was kicking and trying to flip the whole time. The sonographer remarked repeatedly that he’s very very busy. 😳 Oh my. Everyone has been asking if we are disappointed and all I can say is, I’m already so in love with this little boy there is just no way I could be disappointed. When I was a kid I always said I was going to have a bunch of boys! I’d have loved to have a daughter but at this point I’m just hoping I have awesome daughter-in-laws someday. πŸ˜‰

So, the matter of a name… We are pretty sure we are going with Shye (gift) Bennett (blessed). We picked the name out a couple days before the ultrasound “just in case” baby ended up being a boy. 🀣 For the longest time DH was certain we were having a boy and then the last few days he switched to thinking it was a girl. I was pretty convinced baby was a girl, only because Tru and Levi talked me into it. πŸ˜‚ 

Look at how he’s snuggling me!!

That little button nose…

See how obvious even at this early stage!

He was trying to flip over here. He was putting those little legs over his head.

Ok, on to the day to day. I had hoped and really believed that morning sickness would be gone by this point, at least mostly! I did start to have a lessening of intensity of symptoms and even managed to stop taking zofran except a couple times the past 2 weeks. But this week it’s like I’ve had a major regression and I’m almost back where I started in terms of sickness. I ran out of my unisom a few nights ago and I think that’s making a difference in the severity of nausea in the mornings, so I need to pick some more up. But the last 3 days have just been so bad again. I keep telling myself that it can’t last forever. Even if I end up being sick all the way till August, there is still an end date in sight. But I really really hope I’ll get that honeymoon phase of pregnancy where I feel awesome and the nausea is finally gone. 

Despite feeling sick, I’ve still managed to put on 6lbs. I’d hoped it would be a bit less at this point but that’s not too bad really. πŸ™‚ I’ll admit, my diet has not been that healthy the last couple weeks. We’ve been busy and running a lot of errands and keep having to eat fast food. Hopefully we can chill out a little this week. My brother’s wedding is this weekend and I have 100ish cupcakes to make. Definitely going to need some time at home to get all those done! How it was decided that I could be trusted with such an important task is beyond me. I have literally had dreams about it twice….  And they weren’t good dreams either. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜³

Speaking of dreams, oh my goodness!!! My dreams are driving me nuts lately. So vivid, so realistic and so loooooong. Sometimes the same dream continues all through the night. I wake up and fall asleep again and just continue the same boring dream. Mostly my dreams have centered around the 2 upcoming weddings and not getting ready in time. I sincerely hope this isn’t a sign that my brain thinks I won’t be able to prepare adequately for the baby! πŸ˜– If anything, I feel super prepared. I literally don’t need to buy anything except diapers and new binkies. And a dresser for clothes. Piece of cupcake! Nearly all of our baby stuff is still out from Zane. 

Ok, this has gotten way longer than I intended so I’m going to go ahead and stop now. Hope you all enjoy your week!! πŸ™‚ Maybe at some point in our lives it’ll even stop being cold and we can finally enjoy being outside again! 

Dear God, thank You for an awesome ultrasound and getting to really enjoy seeing our baby. Thank You for another son to add to our family! Please continue to protect him and help him grow strong and healthy. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

I missed last week’s update. It seemed like the week just flew by and given the choice between writing a post and sleeping, I obviously chose sleeping. 😁 

I am so thrilled to say that I made it through 3 days without zofran! Sure, I felt sick, but not so much that I couldn’t function. I’m so so happy to be feeling this much better!! πŸ™‚ I’m eating more salads and healthy foods and I’ve been able to quit the microwave lunches and start eating more of my normal meals. Progress!!

Exhaustion is still a thing and I accidentally took a nap today. πŸ˜‚ Zane was taking a nap and Tru and Levi were watching a show. Next thing I know, I’m waking up and it’s been who knows how long! But as we move into the second trimester, I’m hoping for the fog to lift and to see a rise in my energy levels. Some days I’m less tired than others. 

My weight is around +3-4lbs. My bump looks higher and is rounding out. Someone at church noticed and asked if it was baby. She’s very fortunate that I’m actually pregnant! πŸ˜‚ She loves my kids though and was so extremely excited. We haven’t made any official announcement yet as I was waiting till we find out gender, but it’s pretty obvious at this point that it’s not just too many donuts and pizza. 🀣 

I keep halfway convincing myself that I feel flutters but it’s probably my imagination. I did get to hear the baby kick when we used the doppler last weekend! I was 12+3. It was such a great sound!! Took me forever to find the heartbeat though and I got really freaked out. Thankfully I have an appointment in a couple days, Lord willing. It’s my first actual ob appointment. Since it’s been a whole 4 weeks since my last ultrasound I am hoping hoping hoping that she will do an ultrasound to make sure the sch is gone. DH thinks he’s going to lose his mind after 8 weeks of pelvic rest. πŸ˜‚ It would definitely be a relief to know that everything looks good, but we’ll see if she decides to do one. 

I only have a few other symptoms right now, namely feeling light headed and getting occasional headaches. Pretty standard for me at this point. Definitely still sticking with milk of magnesia every few days. 😩 I have about 2 shots of pio left and then I’m done! Yay! Mainly I just look forward to feeling baby kicks!! πŸ‘£ πŸ’“

I didn’t get a belly pic last week but hopefully this week I’ll fix my face long enough to take one. πŸ˜‚ I’m currently waist deep in planning a bridal shower for my sister and soon to be sister in law. Two weddings in 2 months!! Super exciting. πŸ™‚ 2 of my sisters are co-hosting it with me, which is very helpful. Oddly enough, they have me… The very least creative or crafty member of our entire family, in charge of decorating and party favors. This should be interesting! 🀞

Dear God, thank You for a better week with less nausea. I’m so thankful for being able to enjoy this baby and grow our family. Please continue to bless this pregnancy and protect us. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

I wish I could write this post with even more anonymity that what this blog provides. This is an embarrassing admission and even though I’ve been honest about this with many people in my life, it still feels pretty ridiculous. Because, it is. Even I can admit that but somehow it just doesn’t help. 

I’ve definitely made no secret that I suffer (yes, suffer ) from emetophobia. Definitely not to the degree that some people do, but badly enough that I wondered many times A) how would I get through morning sickness and B) once I had kids, how would I handle the barf? Kids come with barf. It’s a fact of life. My desire to have a family, thankfully(!!!) outweighed my fears, and here I am now…. Cleaning up barf after the SEVENTH round of vomiting so far this morning from T and L. At their ages, they oftentimes make it to the toilet now, but not always. Z, not so much. As in, not at all. I am hoping against all hope that he won’t catch whatever this demon virus is. 
Side story: pre kids, DH and I made an agreement that he would handle all barf clean up and I would handle poop. Let’s all laugh! As a sahm, (and extremely thankful to be a sahm, btw) I am the main on-duty parent and DH is seldom ever able to be here during these illnesses. Thankfully I own several pairs of big girl panties and I find myself soldiering on.

Actually, I started this post during our last round of stomach virus and never finished it but as I continue to fight the ridiculousness of extreme vomit anxiety, I realize there are other people like me out there and maybe they are also scouring the internet for support and comfort as they ride waves of nausea or face another stomach virus with their child. Let me give you a word of comfort right now…. As hard as it’s been dealing with not just normal morning sickness but actually severe morning sickness for three of my pregnancies, and even though kids barf even more often that I had realized, it’s been 100% worth it. We’ve gotten through and we continue to survive and I’m extremely thankful to say that I actually have less anxiety now than I used to. I know exposure therapy can be done as part of emetophobia treatment and as it so happens, I’ve kind of inadvertently done exactly that by having multiple pregnancies and multiple children. I wouldn’t change a thing… I’m thankful for my kids and I’m thankful I’ve been able to carry them throughout my pregnancies and if it means I’ve had to face my fears far more than I had imagined, good! It’s been hard but it’s also been helpful. 

That’s not to say that I haven’t spent anxiety ridden hours online, looking for anything that could possibly prevent me from throwing up. Yes, even googling if there is some surgery that I could have that would make it impossible to throw up ever again. It’s embarrassing to admit, but yes, I’ve googled that. I’ve spent more money on over the counter nausea medicine and hand sanitizers that claim to kill norovirus than I care to admit. FYI, I haven’t found it hugely successful. As in, we are currently sick, so not at all successful. And when my kids get sick, I spend countless hours bleaching every surface they touch… Repeatedly… While wearing gloves, yet still washing my hands until my skin is completely dry and sad. And yes, as the title says, when I’ve touched the handle of the bleach jug, I now have to bleach the handle because I’ve contaminated it (in my mind). I also bleach the outside of the Lysol bottle after I touch it. I alternate between bleaching and lysoling every door knob, light switch, faucet handle, toilet, bathroom floor, couch, the washing machine, cabinet door knobs…  Then I go into stomach lockdown mode where I’ll go days only eating a few crackers and a little soup and drinking club soda, ya know, in case I’m going to get sick. Because in my flawed reasoning, if im going to throw up, I don’t really want anything in there to throw up. And you know what? All that prevention seldom actually keeps me from catching the virus. It’s basically an exercise in futility and is only feeding my paranoia rather than actually helping anything. 

So what is the takeaway here? I don’t really know. I guess just to let other people who are suffering know that you are not alone in your fears. But also, please don’t let your fears hold you back. Even though we spend the majority of cold and flu season at home, we use grocery pickup most of the time, we sanitizer our hands after each place we go in (and I’m not just talking about regular sanitizer – I’ve went as far as keeping a jug of soapy water in the van and literally washing the kids and my own hands after every stop), we use a cart cover at the stores, I clean my bathrooms frequently, we take our vitamins and eat pretty healthy AND we avoid anyone who has had a stomach virus for the full 2 weeks that the virus can potentially live inside someone’s intestinal tract…. Shew!!! …. Even though we do all of that, it happens. People get sick. Bodies have weaknesses and sickness is a part of life. Don’t let fear of getting sick prevent you from doing things and enjoying your life. Don’t let fear prevent you from having a family and all the joy that brings. It’s worth it 100%. πŸ™‚ 

 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  2 Timothy 1:7

2-5-19

This week has felt longer than the others, somehow. But thankfully I have felt the nausea continue to lessen, more to a level of constant motion sickness now (and actually, things like scrolling on my phone do make me feel worse). I had 2 days where I woke up feeling so decent that I only took 2mg of zofran and made it through the entire day! Evenings and especially bedtime are the worst time of day for me. I wouldn’t dare skip a dose of unisom yet!

I have been feeling so cold all the time since I got pregnant and the really brutal weather hasn’t helped. I think that the nausea makes me feel more cold and being cold makes me feel even worse. It’s a vicious cycle…. But the last few days have warmed up so much! We even took the kids to the park after church on Sunday. It was still a little chilly but they were so thrilled to be OUTSIDE and running around. It was great. πŸ™‚ Today is raining but still warm so I aired the house out earlier. I have an intense desire to clean everything and I’m just waiting on the energy to do so and for the nausea to finally be in the rearview mirror. πŸ™‚ 

We booked an appointment for an elective gender ultrasound. I’m really excited and looking forward to it but I’m worried it’s too early. The place I picked has weekend appointments, which is why I chose them so that DH doesn’t have to take off work. They will tell gender at 14 weeks. That seems too early really, although, we had Zane’s gender ultrasound at 15.5 weeks and it was accurate. I emailed the sonographer and asked if she thinks we should wait another couple weeks and she wrote back to say that it’s up to us but she does them at 14 weeks every day. I just hope it turns out to be accurate!! 

I’ve enjoyed showing Tru and Levi the baby’s development for each week, using the websites online. Levi asked if the baby is ready for us to “take it out yet”. I explained that it needs time to grow it’s lungs and that I breathe for the baby right now. He seemed very intrigued by that process. 

My friend from church is due ONE day before me and it’s been so fun going through this together and getting to chat about symptoms and such. This is her first pregnancy, so I get to play the part of old wise mom. Haha!! I hope our kids will get to grow up together and be good friends. Her older step child is super sweet and gets along so well with Tru and Levi, so that’s fun. 

I’m weaning off the pio now. I’m not sure how many shots I have left but I decided to finish off my last bottle and be done. My buttcheeks are really happy to know that the end is in sight. πŸ˜… I ran out of 1.5″ needles a couple weeks ago and the pharmacy gave me 1″ needles. I feel like the oil isn’t getting down in there far enough now and I have so many lumps! 

I gained almost 2lbs this week for a total gain of +3. I was hoping I’d get through the first trimester with no weight gain, simply because I don’t need to gain much. I started this pregnancy at a whopping T H I R T Y – F I V E pounds above my original pre pregnancy weight. But, meh… I’m watching my portions and trying to eat healthy. Once I have my ob appointment, I’d love to start working out again. Currently craving shepard’s pie and sautΓ©ed veggies, especially zucchini. πŸ˜‹ 

11 weeks 1 day

Dear God, thank You for all the blessings of this baby growing and the pregnancy progressing. Please help everything to keep going smoothly. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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