Archives for the month of: May, 2014

I thought I should do a post on home made baby food outlining the pros, cons, costs and effort. Along with some handy-dandy pictures to illustrate of course. 🙂

  • I bought a bunch of fresh spinach (it might have been organic – can’t remember now) for $1.01. I got bag of frozen peas and  a bag of green beans for $1.00 each. I cooked the spinach down a little and throughly heated the frozen peas and green beans. Pureed in the blender and froze in ice cube trays. Yielded 9 – 4oz. servings (equal to 9 stage 2 jars). Total cost: $3.01. Where I shop, jars of Beechnut stage 2 are $.53 each. My jars cost just $.33 each! It was super easy to make!
Superfood! Greenbean/pea/ spinach combo, carrots, and sweet potoatoes.

Superfood! Green bean/pea/ spinach combo, carrots, and sweet potoatoes.

  • I bought a Butternut squash for $2.85. I washed it, cut it in half, baked it, scraped out the inside and pureed it with some added water. Yielded 11 – 4oz. jars. Total cost: $.25. Savings of $2.98 compared to if I had bought 11 jars of squash.
The scraped out remains of the butternut squash

The scraped out remains of the butternut squash

Into the blender we go! I just have a regular Hamilton Beach and it usually works dandy.

Into the blender we go! I just have a regular Hamilton Beach and it usually works dandy.

All smooth. Just like store bought.

All smooth. Just like store bought.

The squash is now ready to freeze

The squash is now ready to freeze

  • Peaches are not cheaper right now. At $1.99 a pound 7 jars cost $1.09 each!! No savings there but it’s kind of trial and error. At least I know now.
  • Organic carrots cost me $1.78 for 2 and a half pounds. I should get all of 25 jars at least. So homemade, organic carrot baby food is down to $.07 a jar!!
Carrots cooking. Unpeeled. Just lop off the ends and slice.

Carrots cooking. Unpeeled. Just lop off the ends and slice.


  • Apples cost me about $.95 a jar. Ouch!!! I think I might just try buying a big regular jar of applesauce and mixing pureed berries into that next time. I think that would be cheaper than making it or buying it in the stage 2 jars…..


i usually freeze everything in these icecube trays

I usually freeze everything in these icecube trays

I have tried freezing stuff in my leftover breast milk storage bags but it doesn't work out as well.

I have tried freezing stuff in my leftover breast milk storage bags but it doesn’t work out as well.

The cool thing is the water you boil your fruits in (pears, apples ect) becomes baby fruit juice. So it's a 2 for  one. I guess I could figure that into my final cost.....

The cool thing is that the water you boil your fruits in (pears, apples ect) becomes baby fruit juice. So it’s a 2 for one. I guess I could figure that into my final cost…..

  • Pears mixed with blueberries ran me $.78 a jar. I could have done it cheaper if I had used more pears to blueberry ratio. Blueberries are kind of pricey but so high in antioxidants that I think I will continue to feed them to Tru just mixing in more pears. Also he didn’t care too much for the tanginess of the blueberries so they need to be more of a background flavor and not so much the main ingredient. I have also found raspberries really cheap and pureed them into his applesauce.
  • Mangos are about the same price to make homemade as buying the jars. One mango usually makes 2 jars costing $.50 each so only saving $.03 a jar.
  • I haven’t figured up the cost of sweet potatoes yet but I am certain that they are much cheaper.
  • Frozen vegetables such as corn, peas, green beans etc cost $1.00 a bag at our store and make 4 jars each so $.25 a jar. Less than half price! And it only takes a few minutes to heat, puree and pour into the trays.


Mixed vegetable blend. Carrots, green beans, peas and corn.

Mixed vegetable blend. Carrots, green beans, peas and corn.


  • It does save me money at least on some things. Then I can still buy the other things pre made that cost more or the same to make.
  • It really doesn’t take me that long.
  • I like that I can feed Truett a wide variety of fruits and vegetables at every meal. I know that Beechnut does sell some mixed fruits and vegetable blends but they don’t have as many combinations as I can make.
  • I can control the quality of the food I am feeding him. While there are organic baby foods on the market, they tend to cost even a bit more than regular Beechnut. I can buy organic fruits and vegis for just a few cents more and make mass quantities so the extra cost of organic isn’t really an issue.
  • I make sure that only good fruits and vegetables with no significant bad spots are going into his food. I know that they probably watch out for that at the factories but I don’t have that guarantee.
  • I have fun creating new combinations.
  • Truett loves it!


  • It takes longer than just opening a jar.
  • I have to plan ahead to have his foods defrosting in plastic containers in the fridge or else I end up with a fussy hungry baby and messing with the microwave to get his food thawed out.
  • I have to pack a cooler with ice packs if I want to take this food on the go so that it will stay fresh. I prefer to just pack jars to take on the go so that I don’t have to worry about that but really it isn’t too much more trouble if I am just heading to a friend’s house.


Ultimately it really doesn’t make any difference I am sure. I believe that store bought baby food is probably quite comparable to homemade. But I actually enjoy making his foods and I do save a little money in the process. Truett eats at least 3 cups worth of fruit and vegetables a day along with one jar of meat and usually one cup of breastmilk mixed with oatmeal or rice cereal so he’s a big eater! So I think that making most of his food homemade would be a substantial savings. I still plan to continue feeding him store bought foods when we are on the go and it is a matter of convenience but when we are at home, the pros out weigh the cons for me. What do you think? Do you have any tips or suggestions?


Tru is growing like crazy the last several weeks. He is now pulling to a stand, has said Dada a few times, crawls like he was born doing it and is just turning into a little man! It’s crazy how much developement he is showing now. He is getting really tall and I estimate that he is close to 20 pounds and around 29 inches tall. This kid is not petite but he is very slim now. It’s so weird to have my baby go from “The Chubster” as my Dad affectionately calls him to this little beanpole in a matter of a couple of months. Especially because he eats soo much!

I am making most of his baby food homemade now. It’s a simple matter of peeling, slicing, steaming or lightly boiling and pureeing. It’s a lot cheaper and fairly easy. I have to thaw several days worth of cubes at a time to make sure we have enough ready at hand because when this kid wants to eat, he wants to eat NOW!!!!

I am surprised that sleep hasn’t been affected by this growth spurt. I am cautious to write on such a jinxable subject, but he has been sleeping so much better since a few days after moving him out of his co-sleeper. (thank you Aunt Crystal – it does make a difference!) He gets up to nurse once at night…. I suspect it may be twice tonight because he nursed so little today. I put him to bed anywhere from 9pm to whenever (I am awful at sticking to schedules but he has an exhausted meltdown after 9:30pm) after we do his bedtime routine which is rice cereal with either water or breast milk mixed in, bedtime diaper change, bedtime jammies, bedtime booby and bedtime bedtime. Yeah. That’s what we do. When I lay him down (or when Dada does) I tell him all his “loves”. I say “Mommy and Daddy loves you. Grandpas and Grandmas loves you. Aunts and Uncles and cousins loves you and God loves you!” When I say all that, he knows it’s time for sleep. He usually goes right to sleep lately because he is so tired from all his playing. I give him a nap around 11am, 3pm and pm. Roughly. He is an entirely happier baby than before I started giving him those 3 naps a day. If we are out and about, he usually refuses naps and that is ok. It’s not a hard and fast schedule. I simply cannot do schedules. They break my brain. Sorry scheduled people. 

As far as breastfeeding goes, we are down to 3 times a day and he hates every session. It makes me sad. I don’t know why he has never been a happy nurser. He really has never liked the boob. He likes the milk but he hates laying in one spot to get it and he doesn’t like the work. He has seriously never nursed for comfort. He just nurses to survive and he gets it done as fast as possible. It’s always been that way. 5 minutes or less. He gets to the let-down, gulps it as fast as he can and gets off that thing. And when the let-down takes more than 10 seconds – no exaggeration – he pulls off and looks at me with a frown and yells about it. It’s funny but strange. I’ve never seen a baby hate breastfeeding so much. But Tru just has no desire to sit still and go to all that work. 

I took Truett to his eye appointment today for his blocked tear duct. His eye infections have been much less during this last month. It was getting out of hand where his eye (only ever his right eye) would get so bad and nothing would help it much. Not even the eyrithramycin ointment. So anyways, the Dr said that we can give it until Tru is 10-11 months for it to open on its own and stay open and if it doesn’t, he will need it be opened with a probe. Unfortunately, at Tru’s age they no longer put them in a straightjacket swaddle them. By his age, the Dr we went to today does the procedure under anesthesia. That makes this Mommy nervous. So I really hope that his tear duct will open and stay open and he won’t have to go through all that. The main concern with not getting it fixed is that the eye infections would possibly persist and get worse. 

So, that’s about the jist folks. I just love this little guy and being a mommy is all and more than I hoped it would be. He’s the best baby I could ever ask for. So well-behaved (for a baby, ya know) and so adorable. I just thank God for him. 🙂

Dear God, Thank You for Truett’s good appointment today and I pray that You will help his tear duct to open on its own soon and to stay open so he doesn’t have to get surgery for it. I thank You for Truett and for all the love and joy that being his mother brings. I pray that You will guard and protect him all the days of his life. I pray that he will continue to grow strong and healthy and that we will be good parents for him. I pray that we will raise him the way that You want us to so that he will grow up to love and serve You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Fishing at my cousin's grad party.

Fishing at my cousin’s grad party.


So tired after attending 2 parties and hanging out at Grandma's house.

So tired after attending 2 parties and hanging out at Grandma’s house.

I love watching Tru pull the toys out of his toy basket. Now to teach him how to put them back! ;)

I love watching Tru pull the toys out of his toy basket. Now to teach him how to put them back! 😉

Playing with Great-Grandma and her standard poodle.

Playing with Great-Grandma and her standard poodle.

I don't usually let mommy snuggle me while I sleep....

I don’t usually let mommy snuggle me while I sleep….

*This post was supposed to be published on Friday but I failed to do so….

I decided to start hosting a Mommy/Baby group. I invited about 10 or 11 moms last week. Today we had our first meet up and it was a smashing success. I always thought these kind of groups were stupid until I saw Truett play with my husband’s cousin’s little girl who is 3 months older than Tru. They were so cute playing together!! So I decided I wanted him to have lots of opportunities to make friends and play with people his age and size. I’m not going to lie, having some fellow mommies to talk to is fun for me too. 

I feel silly to admit that a few days before we were supposed to meet up, I started to panic. I kept thinking “What am I doing? I am setting myself up to be around a bunch of moms who got pregnant like nothing and just started popping babies out like popcorn! This is going to hurt so bad seeing them with their 2 perfect kids and me, not sure what sort of horrors I will have to go through to have another or even if I will have another!” But thankfully I was able to push down all those negative thoughts and it never even crossed my mind while everyone was here. It was just a lot of fun for me and Tru and hopefully all the other mommies. 

I set the age limit at 0-3 yrs for now but I am willing to raise it if necessary. We had 5 moms this time. 4 babies and 2 toddlers. There was a lot of toy grabbing, paci stealing and near misses with eye poking but all the babies were good and the toddlers were so cute to watch. We met at 10 am and I served a light lunch a little before noon. Everyone started leaving between about 1:30 – 2:40. I’m already looking forward to next time!! 

Tru is exhausted now but he was so good the whole time. He really showed off for his friends with all his nice crawling skills, pretending that he doesn’t know how to cry and even took a nap in the crowded noisy living room. So happy with how it all went. 

Yesterday I wrote an exceptionally whiny post. I took it down after a few hours. I apologize if you read it’s ranty boringness. In case you missed it (I sincerely hope you did) the jist of it was pretty much that

1). I want to do IVF again (barring any incredible natural conception) at some point either at the end of this year or beginning of next.

2). My IVF meds from last cycle used so much of my insurance benefit (if I had realized they were using so much of it, I wouldn’t have bought them through my insurance) that I have very little left. Not enough for another IVF including meds. Possibly (but we don’t know for sure because there is a discrepancy in the insurance system) enough for 1 cycle (egg retrieval) or close to 1 cycle which I do realize is far and away more than many of you have covered. And to be clear, I am very thankful for any amount that is covered! Even though it’s still pricey with insurance, (they have jacked the co-pay now from what I gathered but I could be wrong – I hope I’m wrong) it’s still a few thousand cheaper than being self pay. But my meds will absolutely definitely not be covered by my insurance. And they are QUITE expensive.

3). I don’t know if DH will still be at his current job by the time we are ready to try again anyway so all this might be neither here nor there anyway.

After a few calls, this is my tentative, extremely subjective plan….

1). Get my insurance to figure out who is right about the amount of benefit I have left. If it’s seriously enough for only 1 Gonal-f pen and half an Ovidrel like one person told me, then I guess we will be back to square one. If it is actually enough for close to one cycle (and by cycle, I mean egg retrieval) then I will try my best to save up over the next 7 months for the rest of the money that I would need.

2). I filled out paper work for Compassionate Care and First Steps. My clinic told me that they recommend doing this if meds are not covered as the Compassionate Care and First Steps programs offer some kind of benefit towards meds. The financial counsellor e-mailed me the forms today and I filled them out. The CCP is good for a year after applying so we have plenty of time.

3). I realize that I probably sound greedy and selfish wanting to try for another baby fairly soon, but I always wanted my children to be close together. Most importantly I feel like if we actually do have a chance to do IVF again and have it be covered or almost covered (saving us quite a bit of money!) then we might as well take it versus just not trying ever again. I know that I want more children. However, I have made up my mind to be happy with just Tru because I do realize that my fertility is not good and that I am extremely blessed to even have my one precious little miracle!!! But I really never intended for my family to stop growing here. At least if I try again and it doesn’t work, I will know that I didn’t just throw away a potential chance to give Truett a sibling. I feel like I need to try.

4). Above everything else, I know that God will work it out if it is His will for us to have another baby. I realize that by trying again we are not guaranteed another pregnancy or another healthy take home baby. But I do know that God will work it all out according to His will and that if He wants us to try again in another 8 months or so, He will make a way for us to try. Even if by trying I still don’t get pregnant again. Although I really hope I do.

So that is that. That is where I am at with the whole thing. Waiting to hear back about how much my meds would cost, how much benefit I have remaining and waiting to see if DH will still be at his current job (with the insurance) by the time we want to try again. In the meantime, I am going to stop thinking about it – or try to stop anyway – and just enjoy the summer and Truett. 🙂

We have a crawler! He did a little bit the day before yesterday but yesterday is when he really took off. It’s still in the early stages but it’s so hilarious to watch. He gets up on his hands and knees and goes about 3 “steps” before falling on his face but that doesn’t stop him. He drags his head and his arm along while keeping the other arm and knees going. It is seriously the funniest crawl I have ever seen. DH says he looks wounded. I think he looks like an adorably cute zombie. But he still gets where he wants to go and he gets there quickly! I did manage to get a video of it yesterday but it is too long to bother with posting on here. 


Tru is eating so much now! He is up to at least 2 jars for breakfast, 2 or 2 and a half for lunch, 2-3 for supper and another 2 before bed topped off with a booby. It’s ridiculous! But he’s gotten so much more slim lately. He doesn’t have those huge baby thighs anymore and he has a neck now. I guess he’s just working it all off as he is VERY active. He is always on the move. He’s either rolling like a rolling pin, or up on his knees rocking and of course now, crawling. Ever so often, he makes his way across the family room to the large potted plant and his daddy’s xbox. He tries to pull the plant over even though he knows he is not allowed. He keeps looking at me and smiling while he does it, hoping that this time I will let him and not go over there to move him away again. I refuse to move the plant yet. It only likes this spot and it’s not causing him any danger at this point. Once he starts pulling up to a stand the plant may have to go…. 


I planted a bunch of tomatoes, green peppers and banana peppers this week. I still have more to plant but I’m going to have to find the time to dig up a little area to plant them. This is more than I usually plant in my little kitchen garden area. Tru sat in his stroller and  patiently waited while I planted. He looked so cute in his little muscle shirt! He loves being outside. I really need to make it a point to get him out there even more during the day. I hope that he might be kind of outdoorsy like me and DH are that way we can all enjoy being outside together. 


Yesterday the poor little man was playing over by his bedroom door. I was literally 5 steps away watching him.  I guess the dog must have been sitting on the guest bed in there like he does sometimes but I didn’t realize the dog was in there. I think that when the dog came out of the room Tru got his finger pinched in the door crack. He let out a very sad cry and tried to crawl towards me as fast as he could like “Help me mommy. Make this stop hurting.” I ran over to him and grabbed him up and called for DH to come inspect his finger. We put an ice pack wrapped in a towel on it but Tru didn’t like that. He was fine after a couple minutes but he really broke my heart seeing him hurt even if it was just a little booboo. So now our new rule is all the doors have to be shut when Tru is on the floor. Poor baby.

He has to check in the mirror every morning to make sure he’s still handsome. 😉

I decided one night that I was done letting Tru sleep in bed with me at all. We were not getting good sleep at all. He would cry and cry for me so I would give in. Then he would spend the rest of the night tossing and turning while I woke up with every movement and laying in one spot stiff all night for fear of rolling over on him. Finally, over a week ago, I made up my mind in the night that I was done and that it was in our best interest for both of us for him to be in his bed all night. So I laid him down after I nursed him and wouldn’t pick him up again no matter how much he cried. DH was falling apart on me after I let Tru cry for almost an hour!! Tru ca be so stubborn when he wants something, just like I am. He started out as sad and just wanting to be back beside his cozy booby, but then his cry changed to angry and he screamed in baby rage. I told DH he was welcome to hold him and lay in one stiff spot all night but I was done. DH decided not to relent either. Tru finally went to sleep and hasn’t slept in our bed since. A few times he has woken up and wanted to but he understands now that he can’t. I do still nurse him as many times as he wants in the night but I lay him back down immediately. This has been so much better for me and him! We both feel better, I can tell. And I am making sure he gets the 3 naps that he needs every day. He fights sleep so much but he really needs it. We don’t have exact nap times yet, but usually late morning, afternoon and a short nap in the evening before getting ready for bed. If I hold him during these naps, he wakes up after 10-15 minutes so I always lay him in his bed and he sleeps about 1-2 hours. He does still CIO sometimes but the amount of time is getting less and less and twice yesterday for naps and at bed time he didn’t cry at all. He is a billion times happier now and I hate it that I didn’t do this sooner. I just didn’t realize that some babies won’t sleep unless you take away every reason for them to stay awake and make it clear that they are napping. I also hated to let him CIO. But he’s like a whole new happy baby. If I had it to do over again, I would have always had him napping at least 3 times a day.


AF decided to come on Mother’s Day. I was not surprised. Isn’t that just like her? It’s not like I thought I was pregnant or anything but seriously… she could have held things off another day. As it is, I did nothing for Mother’s Day this year. DH took his mom out but I was at a graduation party so I didn’t go with them. I opted not to take my mom out because that takes away from her time with my little siblings that still live at home and I think she prefers just to stay home. I did take Tru over there on Saturday evening and we gave mom a card but that was the jist of it. I felt kind of bad that I didn’t get to do more for mom but as it turns out, hanging out with Tru was just what she wanted. Go figure. 😉 I still want to at least take her a potted plant though. I have to give DH some major credit. He actually was so thoughtful as to buy a card for me from Truett and even helped him “sign” it in baby scribbles and bought some hanging baskets sans flowers for the porch (but I having a feeling that he really just used Mother’s Day as an excuse to get them because he already wanted them) ;). So all in all, it was a very passive Mother’s Day which is good because, as I posted earlier, it’s just a Hallmark holiday in my opinion and having Tru and my mom should be celebrated every day, not just once a year. 


As a side note about AF… a gross side note… you can leave now if you want.  The last few months it has taken me 2 tampons at a time, either regular or super, along with a maxi pad to get through 1 hour. Sometimes 1 and a half hours. That’s it. It’s Crazy! I think I counted 13 tampons in 1 day last month and I’m not sure how many maxi pads. Is that a little extreme? I’ve always been heavy but this is ridiculous. I feel drained. Literally. 


Now that I have sucessfully grossed you out, I have to go save my crying baby from the horror of laying on the floor alone for 10 minutes. 😉 He’s a very social baby. 


Dear God, I thank You and I praise You for the gift of being Truett’s mommy this year. Thank You so much for his smiles and his cries. Thank You for every new little baby thing he learns and everything that we get to do together. Please watch over him as he continues to grow and learn new things. In Jesus’ name amen.


I don’t mean this post to be offensive to anyone although I’m sure it could be taken that way. It just seems like Mother’s Day causes so much pain for so many people, why do we even celebrate it? Or Father’s Day for that matter? 

These holidays cause so much sadness for those who have lost their parents. I mean, HUGE reminder every year about that. And for infertiles, it’s pretty much like getting a punch in the ovaries AND a simultaneous kick in the face. I remember past Mother’s Days. Vividly. How fun. At church, they always give out flowers to the mothers and would say “You can take one too journeyformybaby! You’re a woman too.” You could see the looks of sympathy on their faces. It was terrible. One dear sweet old lady even gave DH $20 one Mother’s Day and said to take his wife out. I know with all my heart that she felt so terribly sorry for me and was trying her very best to make me feel special and loved. It did soothe the pain a bit to know that she cared so much. But sitting in a crowded restaurant on Mother’s Day with babies and children all around you is TORTURE when you are infertile. Taking my mom out was kind of horrifying for some reason. It made me feel guilty. I wanted to celebrate my parents but it was just such a blaring reminder of how much I was missing out on. 

I understand that people just want to celebrate parents and all they do for us, because parents really are a gift and it’s such a blessing to have parents. Without parents, I wouldn’t be here. And neither would any of you. But why can’t we just show our parents we love them all year instead of creating 2 huge, money-making holidays to throw it in everyone’s face who has lost their parents or who doesn’t have kids because they just CAN’T?!?!?!?! There’s no need for all this pain. People always whine at Valentine’s Day about how unfair that holiday is to people who don’t have a valentine. That’s another painful and annoying holiday.

Can we just stick to the safe holidays? President’s Day seems pretty safe – I would have a bbq for it I guess. Labor Day could be painful I suppose if you have to work that day. Thanksgiving seems fairly safe because it forces people to be thankful even when they don’t feel like it. Plus there’s food. I mean, that makes it better right? Easter? It could go either way. Depends on if you celebrate it as Easter (bunnies, candy, egg hunts involving kids…) or as Resurrection Sunday (my preference. Celebrating the day my Saviour rose from the grave and conquered death). Christmas? I think we all know how painful that holiday is for infertiles. If it’s santa bringing toys to all the good girls and boys it’s obviously going to bring up sadness. If it’s the birth of Christ, it is of course joyous and miraculous. Such a beautiful holiday. But it can still be a painful reminder. 


There’s no point to this post. Sorry that you just read a pointless post. I guess I am just frustrated with the aproaching of this holiday because I know it will be bringing pain to many people. I never would have thought of it that way if it hadn’t brought pain to me.

Last year, I spent my first Mother’s Day with a tiny baby growing inside me. It was the first year in awhile that I felt any joy on that holiday. But it’s hard to feel joy in this holiday for myself when I clearly remember the pain from previous years and the pain that countless people all around me are suffering. I wish each of you the best as you celebrate this holiday. And maybe go check out this post if you want to read something a little more encouraging. 🙂

I was looking through the search terms that people use to find my blog. I found it kind of interesting that my blog comes up when you google these things. Thought I would share it with you.

  • Chiristmas ideas for wife ivf – This one touched me. Some cute husband out there probably getting his head bit off by his lupron crazed wife. Just wanting to find something thoughtful for her for Christmas. Aww. Just aww.
  • uti after embryo transfer – this is actually one of my hottest search terms. I had a uti right after my egg retrieval and throughout embryo transfer and part of the 2ww. So stressful! The dr put me on keflex I think and eventually macrobid. It’s ok! If you googled this and found my blog, relax. It is ok. 
  • ovidrel shot 4 minutes late – This one is just cute. I understand how important it is to get that shot on time. Especially because the nurse and drs stress it so much that it needs to be ON TIME!! 4 minutes late is ok though. Breathe.
  • loud dizzy wen chewing infertility – Kind of confused here. You are chewing infertility?
  • it drives me crazy to wait for pregnancy test – Me too sister. Me too…
  • why is ivf so hard – I’m not sure what viewpoint this is being asked from. It could have different answers depending on who is asking and why they are asking it. Ivf for me is hard because it’s not a guarentee. The shots aren’t hard. The side effects aren’t even too hard. The driving nearly 2 hours 1 way to each appointment every other day isn’t hard. The waiting IS hard. The not knowing IS hard. Leaving my embabies in a lab, growing in a petri dish IS hard. Knowing that I have no control over the situation IS SO STINKING HARD!
  • hot flashes normal during ivf – Oh, so you have them too? Good to know me and every single other woman who does ivf isn’t alone. I’m sorry you are experiencing that, but think of it as progress!!  I’ve gotten this search term a LOT!!!
  • what do hot flashes feel like when on ivf  – Set oven to 350. Climb in for 2 minutes. Climb out and jump in a snow bank. Just kidding. NEVER DO THAT!!!
  • compulsive worrier on my pregnancy – Well my blog came up, so…… yep. 
  • anxiety ivf pregnancy – Again. You found me. 
  • should I secretly up my dose of gonal-f – I understand where you are coming from but ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Wait, you are doing ivf…. anyways, no. Please for the sake of your ovaries, no.
  • infertility….is a baby ever going to happen for me – This one makes me really sad.  I wish i could say yes. I don’t know, but I believe that if you set your mind to it, you will get a baby someday, somehow. Just don’t steal one. It’s tempting at times, I know.
  • infertility happy trail/hormones causing happy trail – It  happens. I swear it will fall out…. after you have the baby. 😉
  • i hate ivf – It’s a love hate relationship. 

I can’t believe nobody googled “painting nails during 2ww causes bfn”, “toothpaste dangerous during 2ww”, or “going pee after embryo transfer causes embryos to fall out” (just to be crystal clear here, it doesn’t). Come on ladies! You’re making me look like a lunatic.

I feel a little guilty that I have to go back and check which week we are on every time I post a new update. Things are so busy around here. But that’s a good thing!
Last saturday, April 26th, we were at my in-laws house for the day and my 2 and a half-year old niece started crawling on the floor and Tru just thought that was great! He kept laughing and trying to mimic her. For the first time on his own, he actually got up on all fours. He kept laughing and getting on his hands and knees and trying so hard to get somewhere that he face-planted over and over. It was hilarious. Every time my niece left the room, Tru would start to fall apart and fuss for her to come back and he kept turning around on his belly (because he can do that now very quickly) to try to follow her. He was so shaky on his knees at first but he’s getting much better at it. He’s rocking back and forth now and almost making progress. He can go backwards a bit and make a little headway with a weird combo arm crawl/fall forward move. We had another play date with his 9 month old cousin so she could crawl in front of him so he could figure it out. They had a lot of fun stealing toys from each other, kissing on the lips and frenching, grabbing each other’s faces and talking to each other. I really could die from the cuteness. It’s a real possibility!
Then on Monday the 28th, we sat him on the floor and he didn’t fall over! It was crazy! Prior to Monday, if we sat him on the floor he would fall over in a few seconds. On the grass outside he had slightly better stability but all of a sudden, he is sitting! He can’t pull himself to a sitting position and when he wants down he either cries to be laid back or he lets himself fall onto his side. It’s super cute. I love him.
So, we had 2 major developments this week! I also moved him out of his co-sleeper. Harder on me than it was on him. I was not sure how that would go but it was definitely time as he had way past outgrown it well over a month ago. He was having trouble getting rolled over all the way without bumping the walls. We have the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper Mini and I can’t say enough good things about it but it is very small. and it doesn’t convert into a pack and play like the full-size ones do but it does have great storage underneath that I was using for storing blankets and now they have nowhere to go so I have a pile of homeless blankets on my couch indefinitely. My house has practically no storage. Anyway, talk about a rabbit trail. I forgot what I was talking about. So, in an attempt to wean myself of having him 1 inch from me all night, I put his pack and play that we had never used in my room for the time being. It’s definitely more comfortable for him. He can spread out and get comfortable and roll as much as he wants. He also is farther from me which is good for him, scary for me. I know a lot of you mom’s have your babies down the hall, on another floor, out of earshot from you already with video baby monitors and let me just say…. I applaud you. I don’t know how to squelch the last bits of post partum anxiety that are making me keep him in my room. I have tried over and over to put him in his room in his crib for the night. I think the longest I’ve made it is an hour. Except for when my mom slept in there with him once. I usually end up halfway between our rooms on the couch wide awake listening for his every sound and movement and eventually, I just go get him so we can (hopefully) both sleep. One step at a time I guess.
Ok, enough freaking out about that… By the way ladies and gents. In the great DH-Talks-In-His-Sleep-Every-Night saga, I was informed by him that there is this stuff (apparently it’s funny because he laughed a lot in his sleep while telling me) that is called “L.A. wood”. I questioned him about it (in his sleep of course because I’m a good and kind, loving wife and don’t you dare doubt it ;)) and it is a wood that SINKS! Uh-huh. I then told him I love him and he said he loves me too. Cute that he loves me in his sleep. And last night in his sleep he informed me that he doesn’t even know me anymore. I asked him why and he said “Because you’re always on your phone”. I find that to be most untrue.
I’m on a homemade baby food making spree. Yesterday I bought all kinds of fruits and vegetables to make baby food at home. Tru is up to 2-3 jars, 3 times a day for a lot of his meals. Plus at least 5 oz of breast milk mixed with rice cereal before bed every night. Yikes, I know. But he’s in 12 month clothes so it’s understandable. His pediatrician said at his last appointment that she is fine with him eating more than the recommended servings because his weight was dropping percentiles quickly. He’s getting super tall though! People look at me funny when I say he’s almost 7 months. He looks 1. I swear. My friend kept saying today that he looks like he should be walking and have a head full of teeth and everything. He’s working on it! I have really noticed a drop in his nursing during the day. Down to about 4. Sometimes 5 but he’s not very interested. At night he may nurse 2-4 times though. I feed him right before bed but it doesn’t last him long. He wakes famished in the night and gulps like he hasn’t eaten in HOURS!!!! Every morning when he wakes up, in bed with me of course because my bed is sooo comfortable, and my arm is such a good pillow, and because he needs his arms to be held down so he doesn’t flail about and hit himself in the face, (this was never a problem until recently but now he will cry if I don’t hold his arms down when he wakes up in the night until he falls back to sleep. He will keep hitting himself in the face and crying. Holding down his arms soothes him for some reason. We never swaddled him so I don’t know why he has this problem now.) he looks at himself in the mirror and smiles and gets super excited to see himself. That last sentence was really weird and long and I think it broke all the rules but that’s because it’s after midnight and it’s my cue to be done when I’m no longer coherent. Sorry.

Dear God, Thank You for all the new things Tru is learning to do. Please protect him at all times as he continues to learn and explore. Thank You so much for the gift of being his mommy. For the gift of getting to love him. I am so thankful for him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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