I remembered this post I had in my drafts. I had started it 4 days before I had Truett but never finished it. I’m just going to go ahead and publish it so it will be saved. It’s not much more than the late night ramblings of a pregnant brain but its my memories and they mean a lot to me. Too bad I didn’t finish it….

The last month of pregnancy is so interesting. I thought maybe I should do a little pregnancy recap. Not that its nessassary but this blog has served as my pregnancy journal and I’ve only been documenting the highlights. I will probably end up forgetting a lot of things. My memory is good like that.
       Its been fun. A friend asked the other day if its been all I imagined it would be. Actually, no. Its been different. Better even. More full of worry. (I thought I would be a laid-back pregnant person. Ha!! Well maybe if it hadn’t been for the journey leading up to here!) But, also more full of joy and precious memories. Lots of firsts. Maybe firsts and lasts… time will tell. I’m kind of nostalgic at this point about the whole experience. Ready for this pregnancy to come to a joyous, beautiful end with my sweet baby boy in my arms and yet, almost unwilling to let it go already. I’ll miss being pregnant. I really, really, really will.
      The shots – When I found out that daily shots would be the norm not just for our IVF but for the whole pregnancy, I was perfectly fine with the idea. I’m strong. I can handle that. And I have, very well thank you! I don’t even know how my brain will react to no longer taking them. I’ll probably feel like I’m forgetting something for quite awhile. Its been part of my daily and sometimes twice daily routine for so long! I started shots for ivf #1 last October and in that entire time I haven’t been without them much longer than a month altogether. But, I made the switch to heparin from lovenox this week and I had a “I can’t do this anymore!” moment. I had syringes leftover from my lupron days and since my Dr forgot to order me syringes for my heparin shots, I had to use my leftovers. They were too small for my dose (75units) so I was having to use 2 syringes at a time, 2 times a day. 4 shots of heparin equal 4 bruises and a very scary tummy. I was sitting on the couch trying to get the plunger to push in while talking to my dad and I got very weak suddenly. I could hardly talk above a whisper as I called DH over to help push the plunger in. There was blood coming from 4 areas I had tried injecting. I sat on the couch for an hour after that and cried. I’m not sure why. I don’t think it was from the shots really but just being emotional. I’m fine now and my belly is healing. I’m thankful that these medicines are available to help people like me during pregnancy. Very, very thankful. I’m ready to not have to poke myself everyday, but its been well worth it and I would do it every day forever if I needed to for this baby.
        The ultrasounds – I’ve lost count how many we’ve had. Around 20 I think give or take a few. Its been amazing to watch this baby’s development so closely. Absolutely a miracle to witness. I’ll miss that to. Getting to see somebody growing inside me. Such a gift! And I have his growth so well documented with all the pictures although I don’t have pictures from every single ultrasound. To think that not all that long ago ultrasound didn’t exist! In some ways its caused anxiety as we know things we wouldn’t otherwise (like the low fluid thing) that turned out to be stuff we didn’t need to worry about at that particular time. But so great to know we are keeping an eye out for potential problems and hopefully would be able to act before any problem got out of hand. Its just such a gift to witness the development of this baby throughout the months.
        Stretch marks – Mom calls them beauty marks. I have to agree. I wouldn’t like them if they came just from me getting fat, but because they came from growing this little boy, they are beautiful. My butt cheeks look like somebody dropped a plate of purple spaghetti noodles on them, the stretch marks are so extensive. Ok, they really aren’t quite that bad…. but getting there. The bbs are getting them too now. The belly? Well, if you could somehow look past the bruises, I think we are actually belly stretch mark free! Weird right? My belly button looks like a temporary tattoo at this point its pulled so tight but I don’t think we are getting any marks.
      The sleep – The what? Its 12:03am folks! In the beginning, I slept better than I had in my whole life. Really, really well. I’m usually an insomniac even from my early childhood so I was impressed and pleased at how drugged pregnancy made me feel. It was like the worlds best sleeping pill (which don’t work for me). Now, not so much but still better than non pregnant me.
     

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