Archives for posts with tag: motherhood after infertility

I’m pretty sure I’ve said it about every age and stage but… this age is wonderful! Like right now, Tru is playing in a giant plastic tote. He’s calling it his castle. Imaginative play is happening all the time now and he definitely likes to talk to imaginary friends or something like that. I hear him pretending to be me sometimes. He will say “Tru, come here! Get in the car. No play in the (sand)box!” I got a video of him saying this stuff and it’s positively hilarious! I would post it if I knew how.

He loves to build things with mega blocks. Which we have well over a hundred of them now… a whole large plastic tote full. Like the kind you would store Christmas decorations in and the like. My mom had accumulated a ton of those mega blocks over the years and gave them to the boys last week. But no matter that we have so many blocks, the boys still fight over their TWO favorite blocks, the ones with wheels. Tru loves to make trains, fire trucks and cars.

Life with Mr. Independent is really fun and becoming more and more adventurous! Tru wants to do everything on his own. He cries if we don’t let him climb (cwimb) into and out of his carseat on his own, which takes longer but makes him feel so proud! He also tries to buckle it on his own which is pretty tricky. “My do, my do, MY DO!” is becoming a more and more common thing for him to say. He definitely has an opinion about everything. I would say that he has a strong-willed streak but I don’t mean that in the “My kid is a brat but I call him *strong-willed*” way. Like, it’s a good kind of stubbornness that, yes, makes parenting him challenging at times, but also makes him very determined and I am thrilled to see that trait in him!

Now that Truett is fully vocal, being in public with him is getting more… interesting. I foresee myself being embarrassed a lot! I needed to buy some bras the other day. The first non-nursing bras I’ve bought in years. As soon as we walked into the bra section, Tru started pointing to all of them and saying “BOOBS!” very excitedly. And this went on over and over and over the entire time I was shopping. No matter how many times I tried to quiet his enthusiasm. And yes, there were other people around who heard him and, I imagine, stifled giggles. Then he started getting really excited about a “monster boob” which turned out to be a bra with skulls on it. (Seriously?) But yeah, that was an adventure.

That same day, I bought the boys cheeseburgers and I handed Tru his burger still in the wrapper. He took it with excitement while asking “This a present burger, Mom?” I told him that yes, it was a present burger and when he finished eating it, he said “Mommy, danks for the present burger!” I almost melted with love!

I have been fixing my hair in french braided pig tails recently since it keeps my hair off my neck and helps me stay cool (but not *cool* haha!). Anyway, when I fix my hair that way, Tru says “Mommy, you a girl!”

Tru likes to dress himself all the time and even cries sometimes if I try to help him put on his shoes etc. But after months and months of being able to dress himself perfectly, he keeps getting his clothes on backwards now. He had been taking off his pants every single time he went pee since he always takes himself now (he doesn’t even use the foam potty seat cover any more!) and he can’t climb on the toilet with his pants on. But lately he has been going standing instead so he doesn’t have to undress and redress 10 times a day. 😉 I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have him fully potty trained and taking himself. It’s a process to get to this point and it’s not fun at all but once it’s done, it’s wonderful! 🙂

Dear God, thank You so much for the amazing blessing of getting to raise Truett and watch him learn and explore his world. Please watch over him and protect him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Tru with turtle number 2. We let him go after a couple days because he seemed to have had a rough life and I didn't want him to be sad. This poor turtle looked to have been shot with a paintball gun as he has green paint on his shell.

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We have been taking these snack/activity boxes to church to entertain the boys and Tru loves it! As soon as we get to church, he always asks for his snack box.

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Playing in the sandbox at my sister's house

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Tru drew faces on these dinosaurs and I can't get over how cute it is! I didn't realize he knew where to put eyes ect. He even gave some of them hair. I was shocked when I flipped through the book and saw all these dinos with faces drawn on.

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Like this dino with it's eyes up way too high. Haha! Tru LOVES to color.


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A face only a mother could love...

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He loves to draw fish too. I told him to draw DH a fish and Tru was so cool about it, doing this little "boom" sound at the end lol. DH and I were cracking up!

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Watching the fish at DH's uncle's house.

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It’s hard coming up with names for posts…

 

This week I started my Lovenox shots (blood thinner). Tru over heard me telling DH that I had started my shots and later Tru saw the bandaid on my belly and asked if I got a “turtle shot”. Smart little boy!

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Turtle power!

 

I signed the boys up for swim lessons! I am super excited about it. I hope they enjoy it and learn quickly. The only down-side is they are in the evenings (tired babies). But I think they will have fun. 🙂

 

I also decided to join a gym. I haven’t actually went and paid yet but I am just not able to push a 90lb stroller in 90+ degree heat and crazy humidity. Plus I only like to walk on tracks and the best one is too far to realistically go there multiple times a week. I want to work on my core strength. My legs and arms are quite strong, it’s my back and abs that feel weak. My sister wants to join with me so, Yay for a work out buddy! 🙂

 

I’ve been working on my yard and gardens pretty much every day. I am really happy with how everything is looking. 🙂

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My tacky watering system for transplants. Seems to be helping them along. This is a lilac.

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A splash of color from my flower beds.

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The pansies on my porch.

 

And of course, we are still enjoying our Critter pet. He’s fun to watch and both boys love him. Levi squeals with delight every time he sees Critter up and moving. 🙂

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“Dank you for dis food.”

I was beginning to think Levi would not be a self-weaning baby, and I was not so secretly FINE with that. I am in no hurry to wean him yet and he was adamant in his desire to nurse alllll day and had gotten even more attached to the boob in the last month since he learned to ask for it by patting my chest, tugging my shirt and occasionally making a “buh” sound. We are talking, I would be walking through the store pushing the cart and he’s in the seat patting my boob area and crying. (Less weird than it sounds).

Well, suddenly he is not interested. He stopped asking me frequently to nurse and started shaking his head “no” and even making his sound for “no” when I would ask if he wanted to nurse. Usually, I can ask him from another room if he wants a boob and he comes crawling as fast as he can.

This boob rejection started 4 days ago and it’s getting worse. Today I have almost no milk and am hardly feeling let-downs. On the occasions he does ask to nurse, he pops off before any milk even has a chance to come down.

Part of this is probably because he is obsessed with practicing walking! He can walk but chooses to crawl most of the time. He walked from the TV to the couch today which is across the room. He is getting really good at it but he lacks confidence just yet to give up crawling entirely. But he practices all day! Maybe he is letting go of nursing as a way to assert his new-found independence. Or maybe he’s just tired of it. And outgrowing it.

Honestly, I thought he may well be coming up on age 2 and me having to wean him. Instead, he’s doing it on his own. It’s a good thing, but also really hard for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to nurse a baby again and our breastfeeding relationship has been so great. I’ll miss that bonding time terribly!! I savor that time to snuggle Levi and I absolutely love that my body feeds him. I didn’t know if breastfeeding would work for me (us) and I’m so thankful that it did and so sad to see it end. It was hard when Tru weaned but I was pregnant again already so that just made sense. This though, this just feels hard. I know some people might not understand but it’s just the way I feel and that’s that.

If you don’t want to read a detailed account of Levi’s butt rash, scroll to paragraph 5.

Levi’s butt rash has gotten so bad the last few days that yesterday it was bleeding and he was in pain, especially his man-marbles. :/ So I called the nurse and she said I should bring him in. We missed his 9 month check up and he was due for his 1 year so it was perfect timing to take him in anyway.

I’m so fed up with the butt rash…. ugh!! So, it got better when we first stopped dairy and I used the GSE at every diaper change to treat the yeast. It was almost totally clear! I continue to use the GSE a couple times a day now to keep the yeast at bay. The thing is, the rash came back and nothing is working to keep yeast from secondarily infecting it. I know yeast can build a resistance to treatments. I don’t know if that’s what is happening or… I just don’t know. But the Dr said the rash looks like yeast. She said it could be strep but she did a strep test on it and the test was negative. So we are treating him for yeast with Nystatin again but using ointment instead of cream. The Dr just kept commenting on how awful and painful his bottom looks. Keep in mind, there are red dots everywhere that bleed, his scrotum is nothing but peeling skin which also bleeds/gets oozy depending on the day and there is red elsewhere. The big tell-tale sign of the rash being an allergy (not the yeast rash, the diaper rash itself) is that his butt crack is where the redness originates and has the typical “allergy ring”.

Not to be completely boring and reiterate myself crazy but it goes like this with Levi: ever-present diaper rash flares up -> rash becomes infected with yeast -> we treat yeast with antifungal -> yeast goes away and ever-present diaper rash remains -> we continue yeast treatment to be sure yeast is gone BUT….-> back to beginning. We have used Nystatin, store brand Lotrimin AF, and GSE/coconut oil/probiotics for the yeast and a plethora of other crap for the normal rash.

If it’s not better in a week, she said to call and we will go from there. I have already scheduled an appointment with a pediatric allergist so we can get to the bottom (pun intended) of what is causing his butt to remain in a constant state of redness. The normal rash is usually pink and causes him no apparent discomfort. The yeast is red, raw, raised, hideous and causes him to grab at his bottom and cry from time to time. I hate the yeast…

Enough butt talk… Levi is 21lbs 13 ounces now in the 58th percentile. He gained only 1 pound 5 ounces in 6 months and dropped from the 90th to the 58th percentile. I knew he hadn’t gained much and in fact lost weight recently. The nurse and Dr both assured me that this can be normal particularly as Levi is very picky. But do you think I’m not worried? ??? She was happy with him nursing 6+ times a day since he doesn’t wake at night to nurse. In addition to nursing, she wants me to start giving him 16 ounces of soy milk a day. I doubt he will drink that much but maybe if I mix the regular with vanilla flavor? It’s worth a try since he could use the calories.

Levi is 31.25 inches tall (31.5 according to me) in the 92nd percentile so tall boy!! He grew almost 3 inches in 6 months and stayed in the 90’s for percentile. Mommy is happy. 🙂 His head circumference is 45 cm in the 19th. It’s always been around the 25th area so that’s pretty close.

Over-all he is developmentally looking good. I told the Dr that I know we shouldn’t compare but I can’t help but notice he’s pretty far behind Tru at age one. She wasn’t concerned although there are areas he could be further along in by now. So I hope to work on these things now that I can identify them but honestly, I’m not worried. Levi excels in his own areas. He has a very highly developed sense of humor which I find pretty smart for a baby his age and he catches on really fast. Also, I think he knows more than he lets on. Taking advantage of his baby status much?

Poor kid had to have his lead levels checked. He didn’t scream but he wasn’t having a blast either. Otherwise, the appointment went well. 🙂

After Levi’s appointment I dropped him off with my mom and took Tru to the pet store to look at animals. He is obsessed with watching videos of chickens hatching on YouTube right now and after the pet store, we went to look at chicks at the farmer’s shop. In order to get him to leave the store without a fit (cause he could watch the chicks ALL DAY) I bought him a toy duck and we picked one out to take home for Levi. Tru’s favorite animals at the pet store were the snake (he LOVES “nakes”) and the birds although he was pretty excited to see the hamsters, guinea pigs, bunnies and fish. I tried to get him to touch a chameleon but he wouldn’t. 😉 For the longest time he wouldn’t touch the baby bunny I was holding and when he finally did, he grabbed it’s head. Not hard, don’t worry, the bunny is fine. 🙂 But I think we will stick to DH’s suggestion and just get a fish for Tru for now. We thought he might enjoy having a fish to watch and feed. DH and I had fish for years and always enjoyed watching them swim around. We shall see though if we end up getting Tru one.

It was nice to enjoy some time with my little Tru-Tru. 🙂 I knew he would love the pet store. Now I want even more for the weather to warm up a bit more so we can take the boys to the zoo!!

Also, I’m contemplating getting an incubator and incubating some chicken eggs so Tru can watch actual chickens hatch in real-life. My brother raises chickens so the problem of what to do with the chicks is a non-issue. He would gladly take them as I certainly don’t want to raise chickens right now. I’m not sure yet but it seems like a really fun educational project to do with Tru and only takes 21 days. Since I have a home for the chicks to go to…. maybe I’ll do it.

Well, after over a month of Tru being pretty well potty trained and getting to the point where he had few accidents, was staying dry at night pretty often and I didn’t worry too much about going in stores with him wearing undies, he’s suddenly peeing his pants like crazy. Before, when he had an accident, even while very first training, it was almost always just a drop or two and he would catch himself and stop. He only had maybe 3 full on pees while he was potty training. It was always just barely anything. Now? It’s ALWAYS full on pee. And he had been poo accident free for a few weeks aside from 1 diarrhea accident which is totally understandable. But this evening he pooped his underwear.

It’s pretty obvious that he is totally over the excitement of using the toilet. He doesn’t want to stop playing to go and when I make him, he gets mad and I have to reconcile with him the whole time that he can go back to playing as soon as he uses the toilet. But he still throws a fit. Today he basically acted like he had never been potty trained. He peed his pants all day. To say that it’s frustrating would be the understatement of the century. DH and I were both frustrated. I took away Tru’s TV time, which he didn’t like but he definitely understood why. But did it help? Nope!! More accidents.

I’ve thought of doing a reward system to make using the toilet fun again, but honestly I just feel stupid giving my kid candy or something when he ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO DO THIS! I did have a sticker chart for him when he was poop training and it worked great but once he got the hang of going poop on the toilet, he didn’t ask to put a sticker on anymore. He lost interest in that I guess so it stands to reason that a reward isn’t going to work.

Really, I’m fed up with it. I know it’s not a big deal in the scheme of things but it is annoying that I’ve had to shampoo the same area of carpet 3 times now and I can’t get the pee smell out. We didn’t have this problem while he was actually potty training so why do we have this problem now? Is this a long term issue?

Also, he gets really excited about getting a diaper on at bedtime. I almost think part of it is he’s jealous of Levi wearing diapers. Tru likes to talk about Levi’s diaper wearing habits. I seriously don’t know. I just know I want him to be potty trained again asap!

I’ve been sorting through pictures the last few days as I work to get all my SD cards loaded onto our computer so I can have back up copies of everything. On top of it being monumentally hard to sort through 8 very jumbled years worth of pictures (roughly 8,000) from various cameras, disks and phones, I’ve been shocked by the emotions this has stirred up for me.

Usually when I look through our pictures, I am not looking at years worth of good, bad and ugly. While I treasure all of our photos from years past, it’s a lot to take in all at once. I know this probably sounds dramatic but I see a picture that I’m in, usually with a smile plastered on, and I know where I was in that moment. I remember how I actually really felt and what the current grief was. What procedures we had tried, surgeries, drs we were seeing, even pictures of us in the clinic having our first ivf….

I don’t want to make it sound like we didn’t have good times prior to having kids – we absolutely did!! But our lives were so wrapped up in finding a diagnosis and going through all the various treatments that we tried for YEARS and it really did become extremely consuming. There was a time period where our marriage went down on the rocks badly and I didn’t think we would make it. We were young to begin with and having went through so much had taken such a toll. We/I argued constantly and looking back, it’s easy to see why everything felt so important. With no control over our fertility, obviously our fights over petty stuff spiraled way out of hand due to trying to have something go my way. Pictures during that time are extra hard.

And then there are snapshots of my sil and bil bringing my niece home from the hospital. I remember that day. It was so beautiful and sweet… but of course it was yet another arrow in the heart of the infertile. And pictures of my sister’s baby. So gorgeous and adorable, but I was saving every penny for ivf at the time and I remember going to the hospital to meet the baby and my sweet sister asking me how it was going saving up. She shouldn’t have had to worry about my feelings at a time like that, but she did, bless her heart.

If there’s one thing I learned in our journey (I learned quite a few things actually) is that I wish I  would have lived life instead of holding my breath waiting for life to start. Of course, that would have been easier if I had know I’d have kids eventually. But I should have been enjoying life then too. Much like I’ve learned in motherhood that I have to embrace the moment we are in now instead of looking back and being sad at all the moments I’ve missed in my childrens’ lives already and all the time I wish I could have back.

That said, even the recent pictures are bittersweet in their own way. I saw a video tonight of Tru last summer out on the porch with me pointing to the “fowees” and “goggie”. He says so many more words now!! He would point and make his own little words which are now replaced by “Wook, mom! See?!” As beautiful as it is to watch my babies grow up, there’s the pangs of knowing those days are gone and I’ll never get them back. It’s the way it’s meant to be. And I’m thankful to watch my boys grow more and more every day. I just never truly realized how fast you can blink and the moment is gone. It makes me treasure every picture and video of the boys that much more, seeing as how it can bring back so many memories just to watch a short little clip. Stuff I didn’t even know I’d forgotten.

I will be so glad when I’m done organizing all the pictures into their folders and can open them as I want to instead of having so many years worth of emotions pouring over me at once. And as for the pictures from the years of infertility? I think they’ll always be a little hard to look at.

Three years ago when I started this blog, I was part-way through my second IVF cycle and desperate to make a connection with someone who could relate to what I was going though. I had plenty of family and friends who did their utmost to be there for me and who were/are so supportive and loving and really helped to give me strength through what had been a long 4.5 year battle with infertility. But as much as I loved and appreciated their support (and still am so thankful for their support and prayers and desire to understand) sometimes I just wanted to talk to someone who understood. Someone who I didn’t have to explain things to and didn’t have to try not to offend with my anger. And I had things I wanted to share with others too! Support I wanted to give; to be that listening ear. God, in His unwavering faithfulness carried me through and I wanted to share that with everyone. If it wasn’t for God, I wouldn’t have made it 4.5 years without a single friend who really knew or understood what I was feeling.

I had found forums where I could discuss things with “cycle buddies” and didn’t have to explain procedures to and I had seen that a few of them had blogs. I started reading a blog or two and thought, I’d like to try that. But I really didn’t dream I would ever have over a hundred followers reading my own blog! I just really needed a place to journal my feelings and progress and hopefully find a few friends who could relate. WOW, you all really came through!! The sense of community and support was overwhelming and it really helped to lift my spirit during a tough time. Then, once I was treading the new, frightening yet exciting waters of pregnancy after infertility, I found a whole new world of support I was not expecting I would even need, let alone, find. Pregnancy after infertility is different. At least it certainly has been for me and I know a lot of others who would vouch for that as well as parenting after infertility. I had a whole different set of fears and struggles that I wasn’t aware would come up and I found a whole community here waiting to share their support once again. I couldn’t thank you enough.

I know that word *support* keeps coming up… because that’s what it’s all about! Thank you for reading along and sharing your stories and for letting me share mine. 🙂

My cycle was regular pretty much right away after having Tru. It may have been off a day or two but not by much. This time around though, it’s sporadic. The first 2 were 36 days apart and this month I was 10 days late! Negative tests after AF was late aside from 1 that was most likely a dye run. (IC, had a bad dent in it.) I didn’t track anything this month or keep track of CD or ovulation. But I was due to start Christmas and AF didn’t come until today. Was a little bummed after starting to get my hopes up yesterday with that wacky test. Oh well, it was obviously not my month. It’s ok. But I hope AF will quit playing tricks on me if I’m not pregnant. As nice as it is to delay the ugly lady, it’s also a pain to have to keep testing every few days *just in case* since I would have to start Lovenox asap if I were actually pregnant. My milk supply is low enough that I’m surprised my hormones are still that off. How long did it take before your cycles evened out post partum?

Every single time, without fail, that I sit down to blog, I have to get up and down multiple times to do things. I have to plug in the laptop, the wi-fi needs plugged in, Tru needs something… It’s ridiculous. I am just ready to sit down and stay down until this baby gets here.

I don’t want to come off as whiny or complaining. I do realize how blessed I am and that this discomfort is something that I personally longed to experience and I also realize there are still people reading my blog who would give anything to be experiencing this end of pregnancy discomfort right now. So please don’t take it wrong or think me ungrateful when I say that I am SO uncomfortable. I cannot find a way to sit, lay or stand that does not cause one or all of the following – inability to breathe, my legs fall asleep (this is actually when I am standing especially bending forward so it’s kind of scary), I have the urge to pee so badly I am crossing my legs, my pelvis feels like it’s splitting in half and I have a hard time walking, getting up and rolling over because of that combined with the pain in my inner thigh that has been going on over 2 months now. It’s pretty intense!

I probably shouldn’t even blog today because I am in a bad mood. It snowed again this morning and I wasn’t able to go to my once a week job. As much as I was dreading getting Truett and myself out in the cold, I do need the money and considering that our pipes have been frozen for 4 days now, I would love to be somewhere with running water where I don’t have to keep running back and forth with milk jugs full of water to flush the toilet. It gets old quickly. I am also tired of washing dishes with water heated on the stove. Sponge baths also suck so I have been making a point to get a shower at either of our parent’s houses at least every other day between sponge baths.  And then I feel terrible that I am complaining because, we do have water! It’s not easy to get since we have to go beg, borrow and steal it from our parent’s (actually they don’t mind) and we have to haul it in the house etc, but we are fortunate because so many people in the world have NO water. Literally, none. And that is heartbreaking.

I did have a check up yesterday and it went very well. I saw one of my not favorite Drs but we actually had quite a good visit! It was just the basic stuff. She put in the order to switch me from Macrodantin (Nitrofurantoin) to Keflex, and from Lovenox to Heparin (starting next week) and ordered Levi’s growth ultrasound for next week and my GBS (group b strep) test. Now, here is another example of how different Drs have different ways of doing things and opinions vary greatly even in a group practice. At my check up 2 weeks ago, I asked the Dr I saw then if we were going to switch to Keflex since I knew I did with Tru at 32 weeks. She said no, she didn’t want me to switch. She was happy with me staying on Macrodantin through to delivery (and I assume breastfeeding too because I am always on a suppression dose of something). I was uncomfortable with that decision and decided to ask the Dr I saw yesterday because:

FDA pregnancy category: B Nitrofurantoin should be used during pregnancy only if clearly needed; use of nitrofurantoin is contraindicated at term (38 to 42 weeks gestation), during labor and delivery, and when onset of labor is imminent. Comments: Contraindicated because of possibility of hemolytic anemia due to immature erythrocyte enzyme systems (glutathione instability) …..Nitrofurantoin is excreted into human milk. Nitrofurantoin is considered compatible with breast-feeding by the American Academy of Pediatrics, although there is a theoretical risk of hemolytic anemia in neonates and G-6-PD-deficient infants. The manufacturer recommends that due to the potential for serious adverse effects in infants less than one month old, a decision should be made to discontinue nursing or discontinue the drug, taking into account the importance of the drug to the mother. – Taken from http://www.drugs.com/pregnancy/nitrofurantoin.html

So as you can see, the risk is minimal but I don’t want to take that particular risk. Better safe than sorry, you know. 

Sorry to have just bored you with all of that. You really didn’t need to know, I just wonder why opinions vary so much and why it’s so hard to get consistent information.

How far along? 34 weeks 4 days – in other words 8 and a half months! 🙂 

How big is the baby? As I mentioned, growth ultrasound next week Lord willing. But I feel like he is already as big as Tru was when he was born. There’s a lot of baby in there! 

Total weight gain/loss? About 29-30 pounds.  

Sleep? I can’t really get comfortable. Levi doesn’t like me to sleep on my left side. Oftentimes he will push out on both sides very hard until I roll to my right. The aching in the pelvis and the pain in my thighs when I roll over is pretty intense at times. 

Best moment this week? DH took the day off work and we took my brother clothes shopping after we all went to my NST and AFI appointment. (The U/S tech said my AFI was 18.1 – last week it was 11.2 and the week before, it was 12. I know that she measured the area that both previous techs said baby’s umbilical cord is. The same thing happened several times with Tru. They do this every day! How do they mess up and measure the cord area? I didn’t say anything. We will just wait and see what it is next time. It’s no big deal because baby looked great on the NST. She also showed us his butt cheeks and let me just tell you, they are adorable!!) 🙂 We went out to eat at a buffet – not the best place for a person who gets full after 1 plate of food, but it was delicious! 

Symptoms? You can read all my perfectly normal end of pregnancy complaints above. I might also add that I had consistent  BH contractions the other evening/night when DH was unable to get home from work and had to stay with his cousin. I didn’t freak out about it, but I sure was thinking, this would happen to me. The Dr said she is happy that I had so many contractions because she hopes that means my body is starting to get things ready so we can have this baby naturally. She said if we get to 39 weeks and no cervical changes, we will have the c-section talk, but if I have started to dilate and they can break my water and start pitocin, they will. But we both are hoping that I will go into labor naturally before then. We also talked about me breast pumping once I hit 37 weeks. Nothing extreme. Maybe once a day. Not before 37 weeks though. 

Food cravings? Sweets and it is not a good thing. I have been eating protein bars instead whenever I can because I’m sure that’s what my body really needs. Not reese’s cups. I also want Taco Bell. We could just eat Taco Bell soft tacos from now until forever. That is fine with me. 🙂 

Gender? Baby Boy. 🙂 

What I’m looking forward to? Kind of looking forward to labor if it happens naturally. I get a little rush when I think about how I would feel if I ever went into labor. I’ve never experienced that before so it would definitely be interesting. Ask me again how I feel about that after a few hours of REAL contractions. 😉 

Milestones? Every step I take feels like a mile dragging a hundred pounds of stones. 

Bump? I don’t think I took a picture. Maybe I did, I don’t know. But I’m NOT getting up to go look. You’re welcome actually. 

Dear God, forgive me for my bad attitude and complaining about the weather and the cold. I thank You for our warm house and for all of our blessings. Thank You for the little boys You have blessed me with. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I always have all these silly things I think of that I want to put in my updates but then when I go to post, I can’t remember what they were….

 

How far along? 33 weeks 4 days 

How big is the baby? If he’s really gaining a half pound a week, he should be close to 5 and a half pounds now. Feels about like it! 😉 I was on my feet all day last Friday and the next morning, the bottom of my belly was sore! As a side note, his fluid was 11.2 at my last AFI. Still good and his placenta was still grade 1. 🙂 

Total weight gain/loss? Still yo-yoing but I started to drop some of the water associated weight. I am up anywhere from 27-29 pounds. I really have to make sure I am drinking enough water. 

Sleep? Not bad. Just having a hard time staying comfortable and breathing through this stuffy nose. 

Best moment this week? This hasn’t been an overly good week for me… I am in the phase of pregnancy where I start to get super worried. But I did have a good visit with my grandma today. I don’t hardly ever go see her just us without all the family which is a rotten shame. So Tru and I went to see her after I got done taking care of the lady that I watch once a week. It was fun talking pregnancy with her especially hearing her story about having her identical twin girls without ever knowing she was expecting twins. She gained the same 40 pounds as she did with her other 7 pregnancies. She carried them to full term. Both over 7 pounds. Apparently they shared an amniotic sack and probably placenta too. That would be a high risk pregnancy for sure nowadays but her dr never knew she was having twins. They had trouble finding a heartbeat on the baby which is kind of funny considering there were TWO in there. She also had a negative pregnancy test when she was probably about 2 months pregnant!  So as she was delivering, they said it was time to get the other baby out. She was so confused for a second there. Imagine that shock! 

Symptoms? The pelvic girdle pain and inner thigh pain are no joke! It is hard to roll over or raise my right leg. Which is dandy since my car door will not open and I have to climb through the passenger side and over the stick shift and e-brake. It is interesting to say the least getting in and out of the car. But honestly, aside from that pain and breathlessness, this week has been pretty symptom free! 

Food cravings? I want greens really bad. Especially if they are fried in bacon grease (yeah, that really drops the health factor) but I think I could eat my weight in kale. Maybe my body is craving iron?

Food aversions? Nope. But I noticed that I am really not as interested in seafood as I normally am. 

Gender? Baby boy Levi. 🙂

Labor signs? No, but I have to admit that as nervous as I am getting, I am starting to feel like he needs to come sooner than 40 weeks. Not right now, but maybe 37-38 weeks if he is ready. I feel bad to say that because I want him to have as much time as he needs, but we are at the stage where I just freak out over everything and he keeps cutting his kick counts way to close for my comfort (he passed with ONE minute to spare the other day)  and he doesn’t move in the night when I get up to pee like he used to and he just moves much less in general. Yesterday at my NST, the nurse moved him 3 times to get his heart to accelerate. I was very uncomfortable with that because I want his heart to accelerate on it’s own. He did eventually but technically it was when the NST was supposed to be over but the nurse was busy with another patient so she hadn’t unhooked us yet. So all in all I was not happy with how that appointment went…. I am definitely feeling paranoid now. 

Belly button in or out? Out, sore and hot to the touch. 

What I miss? The second trimester when I was much more comfortable and less worried. 

What I’m looking forward to? A healthy, happy, birth. 🙂  

Upcoming Appointments? My next 3 check ups are scheduled with the only 3 Drs in the practice that I truly do not like/feel comfortable with. It’s not that I don’t like them personally, we just don’t jive. I guess it could be a good thing though because any one of them could be the Dr delivering Levi so I really need to build up a little better relationship if possible. They are the only Drs available on the days that I am already in for my NSTs so I just have to go with it. I got a call today that my primary Dr is wanting to get together and discuss a birth plan on march 12th. I would be almost 38 weeks then if I don’t have him before that. I’m pretty sure my plan by that point would be get him out please! Like I said, nervous!

Bump? I don’t know if Levi actually has dropped or if my belly is just sagging. All I know is that his feet and butt don’t feel like they are as high in my ribs as before and my belly button is almost pointing downwards now. I don’t feel much pressure down there now though so…. Not sure what’s going on.

 

I remember in the beginning of my pregnancy when I put this shirt on and it was HUGE on me.... ;)

I remember in the beginning of my pregnancy when I put this shirt on and it was HUGE on me…. 😉

 

Dear God, Thank You for bringing me and Levi safely this far in this pregnancy and I pray that You will continue to watch over us through the rest of pregnancy and delivery. I pray that he will be born when where and how You want him to be. I thank You and I praise You for the miracle and blessing of carrying him these 8 months. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

 

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