Archives for category: love

How far along? 23 weeks 6 days (7-29-30) Just hours away from viability! I was reading online the other day and a girl who is due around the same time as me commented that she is almost to the third trimester and I was thinking “Well, that’s still awhile away really.” And then today it hit me, that’s only a few weeks! (3-4, depending on who you talk to.) Like, tomorrow is 6 months! (Also, depending on who you talk to.) That’s just…. incredible.

 

 

 

Symptoms? Lightheaded several days this week. Random, short bouts of queasiness. Restless legs. Braxton Hicks contractions, which are surprisingly strong at times. Brings back thoughts of labor like a tidal wave!

 

 

 

Weight? +22

 

 

 

Sleep? I realized I cut this question out without meaning to. Until recently, it’s been about as good or bad as it usually is, with a few extra wake ups to pee. But the last few nights, Truett keeps waking up randomly and not being able to sleep. And in turn, once I’m back to bed, I can’t fall back to sleep as quickly as usual. It takes at least 3 to 4 pillows to be comfortable on my side at night or else I get pelvic pain. With my pillows, I’m fine. It takes a bit of arranging but it works. šŸ™‚

 

 

 

Cravings/aversions? Nothing new. But I’ve got Truett and Levi both begging for freezes now. šŸ˜‰

 

 

 

Baby buys? I had $30 off in coupons to a local store that sells baby clothes etc, so I stopped in there this week and bought Zane 3 outfits and a 2 pack of stretchy baby blankets for around $11 altogether! I was so excited. So were the boys because they love snuggling the new blankets and “trying them out”. Haha. Levi desperately wanted to try on the baby clothes and stripped down to try to put the pants on. Of course, that didn’t work too well. šŸ˜€ I also picked up another 2 pack of thermal baby blankets. And I got white shirts for Tru, Levi and myself and I’m hoping to use them in our maternity photo shoot…. although, the photographer didn’t get back with me on the date yet so…

 

 

 

Bump? Baby’s kicks are so much more forceful this week! I think I said that last week as well but this week, they catch me by surprise. He’s started those lovely “cervix kicks”. (Not sure if that’s actually what is going on, but that is what it feels like.) He gets my belly shaking around and sometimes he’s sticking out more on one side, usually the right. I feel like my belly is always changing shape, size and height but I’m pretty sure he’s still breech since the majority of his strong kicks are in my low abdomen. But the hiccups are also low down so… who knows. This morning, DH was talking to Zane with his face against my belly and Zane popped him right in the nose several times. It got us quite to laughing. I love those bonding moments. šŸ™‚

 

 

 

Exercise? I used the elliptical 3 days this week! I increased my time to 30 minutes and I feel good keeping it there now. That’s enough time that I am sweaty and ready for a break, but not feeling over-tired. I’ve been taking advantage of the boys naptime to shower, have Bible study and prayer, maybe rest or catch up on laundry, depending on the day and to exercise. Which is a total change from the first trimester when I couldn’t keep my eyes open once they laid down. I am happy to have (most) of my energy back. šŸ™‚

 

 

 

I think I have hit the “obviously pregnant” stage as people are no longer hesitant to ask about the pregnancy. Yesterday, a lady pulled up beside me while I was getting the boys in the van and asked “Are you having another boy?” And today, another lady asked me if it was a boy or a girl. I’m quite fine with these types of questions and it doesn’t offend me personally, but I know some women find it super annoying.

 

 

 

Levi has been a bit more clingy to me lately. He wants me to pick him up and carry him around sometimes, which is a bit difficult since he’s about 30 pounds now. He also runs up to me and says “Kiss you” multiple times a day and kisses me. He climbs in my lap many times a day to “smuggle you”, but only for a minute before he gets bored and runs off again. And he is very attached to the baby already, talking about him all the time and asking to kiss him or hug him or feel him kick. Levi was singing in the van on the way home last night “I wanna hold the baby”. He also told me he is going to help with the baby and help potty train him. šŸ˜‰

 

 

 

Truett, on the other hand, is not at all interested in feeling the baby or kissing my belly. He will talk about Zane quite often but if I ask him if he wants to hold him when he’s born, Tru usually says no. And if I ask him if he is going to help with the baby, he also says no. But he is usually doing this little goofy smile when he says it so I think he is excited in his own way but not as interested in the process as Levi is. Which, of course, is perfectly normal and understandable at the age of 3! I have found it so interesting to see and hear the boys’ reactions to having another baby on the way!

 

 

 

Dear God, thank You for another beautiful week and for the wonderful weather we have been able to enjoy and the time with our families. Thank You for all of Zane’s precious little kicks and for this amazing opportunity to experience pregnancy again and carry another miraculous little life. Please watch over and bless him as he continues to grow. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

 

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These are the outfits that we bought.

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Tru quickly claimed this blanket for watching tv on. šŸ˜‰

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And Levi chose this “bassetball” blanket to be wrapped up and “smuggled” in. šŸ˜‰

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My sister bought me these gladiolas last year and they have been absolutely gorgeous this summer. I’ve had some white and some pink ones bloom. Love them!

So, last week I typed up a nice update for 16 weeks, and my computer ate it. Second time it has done that to me. So I have no 16 week update or picture since we were too busy to take one last weekend. šŸ˜¦

We went to the work picnic for DH’s job last weekend and had a blast! The kids rode on lots of kiddie rides and really enjoyed themselves. It was a long day and I was exhausted that evening and still pretty worn out the next day. But thankfully the weather was pretty cool, and with lots of hydration, I felt really good all day and only had a few minutes where I felt lightheaded. When that happened I just went and got more water. It was so fun to watch the boys enjoying the rides. šŸ™‚

And also lost in the 16 weeks update is the news that we chose a name for our new little boy. Zane Trey; because Zane means God’s gracious gift and Trey means third. Zane was actually a name we considered for Levi and we like it for it’s meaning most of all, but also, we can call him Z. And how cute is that!! šŸ™‚

How far along? 17 weeks 5 days (as of 6-16-17)
Symptoms? Feeling really good the last couple weeks. My only real complaint is restless legs syndrome. Which I have regardless of pregnancy, but it does seem to get worse during pregnancy. Right now it is really constant. I’m doing lots of stretches to try to help it, and to some extent, it does seem to help… or at least give temporary relief. Aside from that, I am at that stage where I feel pretty much myself.Ā  *Side note: I skipped taking unisom the night I wrote this update and I was quite queasy the next day. So I’m definitely staying on that for now.*

 

Sometimes I look down at my belly and I’m kind of caught by surprise. Wow! There is actually a little person in there, growing and living their life. Stretching, kicking, rolling, sucking his thumb, sleeping and waking up, having hiccups… even going pee, if everything I’m reading is correct for this stage. That’s amazing! Because most of the time, I don’t really feel like all of this is going on in there. I mean, I know it is, but I’m just going about my day, rushing to get stuff done, focused on a million other things…. and I look down at my belly and I’m just struck by the wonder and the miracle of life. It’s truly a gift. Every moment.

 
Weight? I actually forgot to weigh myself today. Earlier this week I was +11 pounds.
Bump? Some days, the activity I feel is still pretty minimal. I’ve had a few days where baby just moved all day and then I’d hardly feel him. I still have to be sitting or laying pretty still to really notice the movements. But one day this week I looked at my belly when he was kicking and I could actually see my belly move! I think it got lost in the update my computer ate, but DH felt him kick once by surprise. He put his hand on my belly to shield the baby when we were all playing on the floor and he was afraid one of the boys would accidently knock my belly. Well, DH got quite the surprise when baby kicked him! šŸ™‚

 
Baby and maternity buys? I’ve started buying a few more maternity/nursing items. I had almost no summer maternity clothes since I was so small with Tru, and with Levi, I was pregnant during the winter. So, I’ve ordered a few more shirts online to come in next week. I hope they fit! I have bought 1 pair of capris and I’m making do with those and maxi skirts, but ideally, I hope to get a couple more pairs or maxi dresses. I’ve bought lots of nursing bras. I found a bunch on clearance for $2-3.50!! Talk about a bargain! I don’t know how much more the girls are going to grow though… I may have to switch entirely to stretchy sleep bras full-time like I did when I had Levi. I just couldn’t find comfortable nursing bras anywhere over a D. I’m super picky though.

 
Cravings? No use talking about aversions now. šŸ™‚ Thankfully! I’m still hitting the salads almost daily. That’s about the only thing… oh… bean burritos. I love those! šŸ™‚

 
Best moment? This morning I asked Levi “Why is my belly getting so fat?” And he smiled and pointed at it and said “There’s a baby in you body!!” which just melted my heart. I think he actually gets it now. I mean, I’m sure it confuses his little 2 year old self, but he knows there is a baby in there and it’s growing and it kicks my belly. I’m really looking forward to the boys being able to feel the baby but so far, they don’t have the patience to hold their hand there that long.

 

Next appointment? This coming week at 18+3 is the anatomy scan and check up. It’s over 5 weeks between appointments this time but I feel like it went pretty fast! I do want to ask the Dr about the baby’s heartrate. I have recorded a clip for her where it’s skipping beats. I remember the boys both doing that and it resolved, but just to be safe, I want to run that by her since this is happening all the time.

 

I really want to get an update posted about Truett. I decided to stop monthly updates at 3 years old, but I feel like I need to do an annual update or something. This little boy is growing and changing so much all the time and I feel like I’m cheating myself by not writing all his cuteness down. And I need to do a general life update too!

Dear God, thank You for another wonderful week. For how well I’ve felt and for all the kicks and movement I’ve been able to enjoy this week. I pray that this sweet baby will continue to grow and be healthy and strong. I pray that our appointment and ultrasound will go very well. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

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DH keeps cutting these pictures too short so the bottom of my belly is hardly in the shot… must talk to him about that. šŸ˜‰

Ok, maybe not really. But it kind of feels that way right now. My sil asked me to read this book every day and she and her bff are also reading it. The book is “Love Unending” by Becky Thompson of the blog Scissortail Silk. I can’t link you to it at the moment and to be entirely forthcoming, I don’t follow her blog. But my sil does and she is in love with Becky’s writings. 
So I bought the book online and yesterday we started reading it. It’s basically a 21-day challenge for your marriage to get back to were you were when you first fell in love. “Rediscovering your marriage in the midst of motherhood.” 
Now, personally, I believe that having kids was vital to our marriage. But I know that it also does create a bit of a space between parents. Infertility drove a huge wedge between us, so having kids was a colossal relief for us. I understand that many couples don’t have that initial hurdle so having kids is not the healing balm that it was for us.
That said, yeah, romance is often times the last thing on my mind. And motherhood has a way of leaving me “touched out” at the end of the day and just kind of done in general. I’m snappy with the kids and DH. I’m not in the mood to think about what DH wants and needs. I’m selfish. There, I said it. It’s true. And the point of this challenge is to stop trying to “change” DH into the perfect husband, and instead, refocus my outlook so that I can be the positive change that I want to see in him.
Today’s challenge was to speak kindly. It was not an utter fail, but I could have done better. What I realized today was that I have set the tone in my family that nobody listens when I’m being calm and nice. I have to start getting snappy to get DH’s attention when I need help and I found that the boys respond similarly. I think I needed this wake up call because I don’t want to be that way! I want to speak calmly and respond peacefully and set that tone for my family. 
I haven’t told DH that I’m doing this. I feel like my sil and her bff are enough accountability and I don’t want DH to see me fail on a challenge and possibly point it out to me. I think that would make it alot harder. Also, I thought it would be interesting to see if he notices my efforts and thought that if he does, that might be a good indication of what I need to keep working harder on. 
So yeah. It feels like a bit of an undertaking at the moment because today was hard. And I see that I have a long way to go before I become the person that I expect DH to be. Becky made a great point; the change has to start with someone. Why not start with me? 

I like the fact that I can journal along in the book while I go through it. I think it will help me absorb the material better. And gives me space to add my own thoughts and feelings.

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It’s late and I should be sleeping but my mind is racing… maybe it’s just because I drank coffee too late… enjoying that kuerig a bit too much lately! šŸ˜‰ Anyway, I haven’t done a “life update” in nearly a month so, here goes.

  • I made it to the gym 8 times in January, which is ok considering I didn’t get to go the whole first week. I also worked out a whole ONE time at home. (Don’t laugh) I do feel good right now, strength wise. I have been doing 3ish +/- miles on the elliptical, 6ish miles on the recumbent bike and 1 mile walk/run on the track per session. My goal is always 500 calories but lately I think I’ve been exceeding my goal by a bit which makes me happy. I also do lunges, squats and wall squats. I usually take about 1.5 hours so I’m going relatively slow. So far all my exercise is leg-focused but that’s only because I don’t burn as many calories doing upper body. I need to suck it up though and start back on my arms again or I may look off balance someday. šŸ˜‰ Haha. 
  • I haven’t mentioned this before that I recall because I have been hoping it would go away, but I can’t keep my heart rate down during exercise. As soon as I step on a machine, it’s already in the 120s to 130s. I don’t know what my resting HR is but I will literally check my HR 2 minutes after I start WO and it’s already that high. By 5 minutes its anywhere from 155-180. And I can’t make it stay down. As I mentioned, I go very slow. I talked to my Dr about it in July last year and she said to give it a few months to see if it improves, but it’s not or if it has, its been very mildly. So, I guess I’ll have to talk to her again. At first I felt sick and would black out and have to lay down. Now, I feel fine generally. Maybe this is my norm? I just know that I can’t go to the cardio classes because when I have, I felt horrible, blacked out and had to stop. 
  • Enough about exersize! I just realized that I never concluded Truett’s fever testing. Basically, we are still watching and waiting to see if the fevers continue. I’m frustrated. His tests (ESR, CRP, hemolysis) came back worse this time but the Dr couldn’t rule out his cold throwing the results off. I’m not so sure because that fever was 6 days long. Seems unlikely to have been the cold, especially considering all of us had it and didn’t have fevers (aside from Levi running around 100Ā° 1 night). But then again, everyone responds to illness differently. So, in 6 months if he doesn’t get any more weird fevers, he doesn’t have to go back to rheumatology. If he gets any, we are supposed to journal them and discuss them at a follow up. I’m mommy so obviously I’m still concerned. But I’m also trying to trust that its nothing and Tru just is more prone to high, long fevers. 
  • I’ve been watching my cousin’s 14ish month old baby this month and aside from waking up at dark:30, the boys and I have enjoyed having him here. It is so fun to watch them play with N. I notice that Tru watches out for N and gives him toys. Levi bosses N and steals his toys. šŸ˜‰ This is good though because I’m getting the chance to teach Levi to share. I make Tru and Levi share all the time of course but their dynamic is a little different.
  • DH is finally supposed to start in the office at work full-time next week. It’s been months since he was promoted but they only just got someone to replace him on the truck. DH has been training this week and loves it so far!! 

Ttc update for my records and the 2 people who want to read it. šŸ˜‰ Feel free to skip.


Meh, I don’t think the Femara worked this month. I don’t really think I ovulated… I never got a positive OPK and I never felt ovulation. I’m late for AF now but dragging my feet to call the RE. I know I should… he told me to if I went over 30 days on a Femara cycle, so I’d better I guess. I think I have a cyst though because I feel this feeling in my left side that is unusual and harkens to cyst-growing activity. :/ All HPTs (and there have been many) are 100% bfn. Not even the benefit of an evap. šŸ˜‰ So, yeah. That’s about it. 

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I’m going to recap 21 months since Levi just turned 22 months a few days ago. I do have to confess though, I spent the last month thinking he was 22 months already. Eep! 

At Levi’s last well check up (December 1st), he weighed 26lbs 15oz (72nd percentile), 34″ tall (73rd percentile) and 47cm ( 28th percentile) head cirumference. Since then, I’d say he has grown at least another inch taller. His pants are all becoming too short on him and he has moved almost entirely into 2T clothes and some 3T shirts. 

Vocally, Levi is quite an overachiever! There is almost nothing he can’t say now. He talks quite a bit but definitely isn’t as talkative as Truett is. About a month ago I heard him say his first 3 word sentence “My wear it.” Now he tells me all the time “I wuv you too.” He almost always says “too” after “I love you” even when he is the first one to say it. He must tell me 20+ times a day that he loves me. Which melts my heart and makes my day every time!! Yesterday as we were driving I was cracking up listening to Tru and Levi fight over a sippy cup. Levi kept saying “Ask Mom!” to Truett and I was just thinking “Where did this big boy come from all of a sudden!?” 

Speaking of what a big boy Levi is, I still can’t get him to give up the boob. He will go days or even a week without nursing but he asks for it every so often. Usually I tell him no, but sometimes he cries and sometimes he’s just sad and needs comforting. Lots of the time when I am holding him and he’s all snuggly, he wants to nurse. I almost always tell him no in that case. I think he looks and acts too old to nurse, in my opinion but then I think “Well, it’s natural and he’s not even 2 yet so…” I’m not sure when we will finally be completely done. 

Levi has become a very bossy little guy toward anyone younger than him and toward River. River can hardly breathe without Levi yelling “stop it!” and “NO!” at him. I am working on this with Levi to be nice and not yell at the dog. Also, when I babysit my cousin’s 14ish month old boy on Fridays, Levi bosses him around too. It’s actually pretty cute, but I know it’s behavior that we need to work on so he can be assertive without being rude. 

Levi is a bit obsessed with my hair. He holds it in his little hands and lays his face on it. He rubs my hair and says “Wuv you too.” He even moves his hands around in my hair and says “Cut!” over and over. Sadly for me, his curly hair is almost all gone now. He’s has 3 haircuts and the curls kept staying but after the 3rd hair cut, his hair is much less curly but still has nice body and wave in it. I definitely prefer Levi’s hair longer and Truett’s shorter. Levi has much more fine hair whereas Tru’s is really thick. Interesting how siblings can have features that are so different. Aside from the boys having the same color eyes and hair, they don’t really look much alike to me at all…. 

….But that doesn’t stop Levi from imitating every.single.thing. that Tru does. Whenever we walk to the car from the gym, they have this little pattern they like to do. First, they want to touch the trash can. And even though it only started because Tru (and then Levi, of course) threw away some trash once, Levi thinks he has to touch the can every time. Then a couple times Tru stuck his foot in this crack inbetween the side walk and the building. So now Levi has to do that too. And they HAVE to walk in the gravel beside the building. If Tru asks for a banana, Levi asks for one too. If one of them gets their sippy cup, they both have to have a sippy cup AT THE SAME TIME. And they ask for their cups every time we get in the car. Every time. Every single time. …. If Tru gets his blankie, Levi runs to his room crying for his blankie too. DH remarked last night “You guys aren’t twins! You don’t always have to do the same things!” Oh yes. Yes they do. It’s quite hilarious to me and I have grown used to making sure everything is fair and equal and they always have the same things at the same time… Now that I type that up, I wonder if that is healthy or if I should work on teaching them that they can’t ALWAYS do the the same exact things….? Hmmmm. 

Levi is usually pretty calm but a few times recently he’s let his temper show. A few weeks ago we were going into the grocery store and in the parking lot he started screaming about something, I’m not really sure what. He started throwing himself on the ground and I had to half-drag him into the store as I had my hands full. Once inside, he continued his temper tantrum throwing himself on the floor and screaming like the world was ending. I picked him up but I couldn’t hang onto him because he was doing that classic arms-in-the-air, worm manuvuer that kids do. So I’m carrying him to the bathroom as fast as I can so I can try to figure out what his issue is, with his coat sliding up over his head, his body flailing and him screaming at the top of his lungs. The shoppers were parting like the Red Sea to make a path for us, horrified looks on their faces and I, in all my Mom-of-the-year wonderfulness, just burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. We were a horrible sight. No one, including me, knew why this kid was screaming, and by all accounts, it looked like he was being mishandled even though I was doing my best. As soon as we got to the bathroom, I walked right in to the open stall, totally not noticing that there was a lady waiting in line for it. When we came out and I saw her, I appoologized and she just smiled and said it was ok. After that, Levi was cool as a cucumber. He calmed down like it was no big deal. Toddlers… gotta love ’em. šŸ˜‰ 

I’m thankful for how snuggly Levi is. From time to time he will sit in my lap and just snuggle. He asks to “Hold you!” (But it sounds like “Holchu”) constantly. Especially if he thinks he will get crried around. He begs DH to carry him around every evening. It’s their bonding time, I guess. 

Also, he still asks to use the toilet quite a bit and I try to take him whenever he asks. It’s not real consistant yet but he does recognize when he needs to go, especially number 2, and tells me so I can take him. I’m really happy about that! 

Dear God, thank You for this beautiful little boy. Thank You for the things he’s learning and for the relationship that he is already starting to have with You. Please watch over and protect Levi and keep him healthy. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Our tree survived with not one broken ornament. If fact, the boys left the tree alone almost completely. I was shocked!! I told Levi to touch the ornament in this pic.

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Mommy’s chubbers little boy

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These boys are serious about their water

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I told Tru to pack 2 cups… but I mean… you wouldn’t want to get thirsty or anything.

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Levi stole a cadbury egg while I was in the checkout line. I turned around and it he was eating chocolate.

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But he rocks a manitail!

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I grew up very sheltered.

That’s actually an understatement.

I was homeschooled and there were times that, aside from going to church on Sunday, I didn’t leave the house for weeks or even a month at a time. I feel, as an adult, that it affected my ability to form friendships with people because I usually go through this incredibly awkward phase when meeting new people. I don’t know what to say and I get so nervous that I stutter and it’s embarrassing. Once I am around them awhile, and especially if they are good at making conversation, I feel much better. And actually, I think I am beginning to improve in this area. But it has definitely taken concentrated effort from me. Part of that is my personality, I’m sure. But I definitely think some of it comes from not having a whole lot of experience in social settings.

Side note: I don’t regret the fact that I was homeschooled. That wasn’t an issue. In fact, I actually liked that aspect of my life a lot because I didn’t have to get up super early every day and we often got extra time off from our homework because we were able to finish early. I graduated a year early too, so that was nice. One thing that I would maybe change for myself and would definitely do differently for my children if I homeschool them, would be to use different curriculum. I had to get my GED because the curriculum we used did not give us a diploma, even though we had good grades. It just wasn’t part of the program. I passed my GED easily but I always felt a bit embarrassed that I didn’t have an actual diploma. I know I shoudn’t feel that way and I don’t feel that way about other people who work hard to get their GED…. Anyway…..

My parents, espescially my mom, worked hard to shelter us from bad influences. I respect them for that. At the same time, I feel like I can speak from my past experience that issolating (versus protecting) your children from virtually everyone may keep them from learning things you don’t want them to learn, but only for a time. Kids form their own ideas and opinions about things and what they asssume to be true may very well end up being worse than the actual truth. That is why I will always try to be open and honest with my kids about the hard to talk about things, like drugs and sex and so on. I’m not sure what the appropriate age is to talk about these things with your kids but I know I certainly had some ideas about what sex was by the time I was 10 years old. When my kids ask me about it, I hope I will be able to explain these things to them in an age appropriate but honest way.

Even though I appreciate how hard my mom (and dad in his own, less extreme way) worked to keep us safe and innocent, I really don’t ever want my kids to live that shut off and recluse of a life. I was lonely sometimes. It helped a LOT that I had siblings. However, there is 5.5 years betweeen me and my older sister and almost 5 years between me and my next younger sister so I didn’t really have anyone my age to talk to, though I was/am very close to my sisters. I did have friends but I just didn’t see them often enough. When we finally did have plans to get together with friends, I was always grounded because I was a rather angry and mouthy teen (cussing my parents out would be the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately). It is/was obvious to me why I was so angry… because I was mad that I could never do anything or go many places. I just don’t think my mom was able to understand that because she grew up so differently that maybe she didn’t realize how it would feel to be that closed off. My younger siblings have SO MUCH more freedom than I ever did!

I think a big part of why my mom kept me at home so much was fear… Fear because she had bad past experiences. Fear because of things that happened to her sisters. I get that. And being vigilant is a good thing and I hope to always be aware and vigilant so I don’t put my children in compromising situations. But letting fear take over and letting it dictate your life is never a good thing. I don’t blame my mom at all and I’m not mad at her. I know she was just trying to keep her kids safe so they wouldn’t face any bad situations. She loves us and wanted to protect us. That I understand. But you can take a good thing way too far. Which I also understand. As a parent now myself, I am able to give her grace for her mistakes as a parent because this job is hard and I get that now. I struggle with my own fears for my children, which are different than hers but just as present, I would imagine.

I’m not really sure what I’m even trying to say here. I guess I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately and trying to use my childhood experiences to say “This is what was good and this is what I didn’t like. What can I do to find the right balance for my children?”

Truett has been running a low-grade fever for the last 4 days as we have all had a mild cold. He has a stuffy nose off and on and coughs occasionally at night. Levi ran a very slight temp of about 99.8 a couple times throughout this week and that was it. But with Tru, fevers always have been high and scary. 

Last night Tru woke up at 4am shivering uncontrolably with no fever. I put him in bed with us to warm him up and as it has happened before, not long after that he was burning up. I gave him Tylenol and checked his temp and it was 104.9F. Less than 5 minutes later his temp had risen to 105.9 and he began crying. DH went to get the ibuprofen from the kitchen while I wiped Tru with a cool cloth. Tru sat up in my lap and threw up a bunch of mucus and cried. I let him sip on Pedialyte while I kept wiping his body down until I could finally get him to take the ibuprofen. After maybe 15-20 minutes his temp was around 103 which I realize is the temp when most parents would start freaking out but sadly, with Tru and his history of really high fevers, DH and I almost start to relax ever so little once his temp drops to that range…. 

Anyway, sometime around 5am, he said “Pray me.” meaning of course that he wanted me to pray for him. I told him that I had been praying for him (silently) but that I would pray again. So I laid down next to him and prayed for him out loud. A few minutes later he started mumbling stuff which I couldn’t understand and then he said excitedly “God made me better!” Then he started looking around the room and saying “I see Santa Claus! He has sheep!” I turned and said to DH “Santa doesn’t have sheep!” And Tru continued on to say “There’s God! There’s Noah’s Ark and animals. See River?” And he pointed toward the side of the room. The dog was in the family room…. Then he told me he wanted to go home. I told him we are home but he said we weren’t. That really made me panic. I called my mom thinking that we might need her to come stay with Levi while we took Tru to the ER. We talked while Tru picked imaginary things off my shirt and she calmed me down a bit while we waited to see if the ibuprofen would bring his temp down a bit more. Tru was obviously hallucinating but I can’t help but think it was more than that. I kept checking his temp and it was 103-104. He would look at us and answer our questions but he kept seeing all these imaginary things. He talked about food that he could see, fire that was blowing, spider man, curious George, touching my face and chest and thinking he was touching Levi, and asked me “What’s that?” pointing at the ceiling. I told him I couldn’t see anything and he said “It’s God.” 

Finally his temp dropped more and he fell asleep around 6am. So the whole episode from him shivering, to his temp rising until it dropped down to under 103 was only 2 hours but it felt like forever!! 

This morning I asked him if he saw Santa Claus and some of the other things he’d mentioned last night. He said no. Then he told me “God was fixing me. He was scary.” I told him that God isn’t scary, He loves Tru. And then Tru said something like “He needs to talk. He was just quiet.” All day Tru has maintained this story, telling my sister when she came over “I was in mommy’s bed and God made me better!” 

I don’t know what to think of all this. It was really scary. I’ve had hallucinations from high fevers myself a number of times but when you see it happen to your child, it is really really scary. I’m so glad his fever came down relatively fast although it did take an hour of wiping him with cool cloths ect. But after his story I am more inclined to believe that God made him better than anything we did. 

He has had a slight temp today and has been pretty mellow although he has played a bit and eaten fairly well. I’m going to call his Dr tomorrow to tell them what happened since I am supposed to call them with any fevers he gets as a follow up from the fever episodes he was having. I just can’t help but think maybe Tru had a little glimpse into the spiritual realm last night and what he descibed was certainly amazing and comforting in a really freaky way. 

…….

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Let’s just say, River was much happier when the kids finally went to (their) bed for the night. šŸ˜‰ 

I *think* I ovulated yesterday. I used CBD Advanced OPKs this month and got my flashing smiley face (high fertility) on CD 14 and solid smiley (peak fertility) on CD 15. I definitely felt like I was ovulating yesterday. My ovaries hurt SO BAD! Especially the left side. 
TMI but my RE said to BD on days 10, 12, 14, and 16. I was totally not going to follow that schedule because of using the OPKs and not wanting to make things happen if the mood wasn’t there. But it so happened that it just worked out that way. 
Anyhow, I still have tenderness in my ovaries today so I don’t know what that means. Hopefully nothing sinister. My LP is usually 13 days so… now, we wait. Lord if it’s Your will! 

ā€‹. 

I love this picture. DH climbed in the pen to pet his pig (as you do, right?) and houdini rolled himself right onto DH’s lap. He’s a lap pig now apparently. Is it just me or is that pig definitely smiling? DH sure was. He loves his piggy. šŸ™‚ 

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I’m not really a pig expert (shocking) but I feel like houdini is really small for 5ish months old. Maybe it’s his breed, which I’m not sure what breed he is, but I’m quite glad he seems to be smaller than usual. For now anyway. I could just see him laying on DH’s lap at 300 lbs…. eek! 

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