Archives for category: Christianity

How far along? 31 weeks 5 days (9-22-17) Yes, I missed my 30 week update. Last week was crazy! I’ll try to do a little recap below.

 
Symptoms? Queasy, breathless, some swelling that comes and goes. Restless legs and the occasional grab of round ligament pain. Pain in the front of my pelvis…. I know there are a few other things but I’m drawing a blank right now….. I guess I still feel pretty good. ๐Ÿ™‚

 
Weight? I forgot to weigh myself today. I think about +33-34ish. It’s hard to tell with the swelling. I was +31 and then dropped to +29, then up to +34 overnight and have been bouncing up and down. All I know is, I am definitely feeling the extra pounds!

 
Sleep? Not so good. For some reason, Zane will oftentimes push his feet out really hard if I try to lay on my right side. (I looked back on my updates with Levi and he didn’t like me laying on my left side.) It’s almost like he isn’t comfortable that way. So I have been sleeping mostly on my left but waking up on my back a lot.

 
Exercise? I got in 2 days last week but only 1 this week. It’s getting harder to motivate myself to exercise instead of taking advantage of the boys’ naptime to catch up on some rest myself!

 
Cravings/aversions? I am definitely feeling more aversions to foods. I am not able to eat as much at a time (FINALLY!!!!!) and lots of stuff just doesn’t sound as good. I am totally ok with that as I feel it is a good thing at this stage of pregnancy (and weight gain). ๐Ÿ˜‰

 
Bump? Oh boy! I feel like it stayed modestly sized for quite awhile after the initial bump poppage happened. But now it is definitely feeling larger and heavier and much lower! Next week is the start of our weekly (for now) NSTs. The Dr asked me at my appointment last week if I wanted to do them once a week or twice. I told her, let’s start with once and if my anxiety gets the best of me or if anything comes up, we’ll go to twice a week. She was happy with that plan. ๐Ÿ™‚ I also asked her if she is comfortable with me going to my due date and she said no, she wants to induce by 39 weeks. I was/am hoping to avoid induction (and definitely hoping we can safely birth baby without a C-section) and I knowย my Drย would much prefer I go into labor on my own as well. So here’s hoping that labor starts on it’s own before the induction date if baby is ready and happy to come out.

 

 

Ok, so last week was so busy and I’m already forgetting the majority of how it went…. Sunday: Went to church, stopped at the store so I could buy some glue on nails (to match the dress I bought for maternity pictures), picked up a pizza for lunch and drove to the park for our family/maternity pictures. After that was done, we went to my parent’s house (my mom had beenย overseas on a tripย for almost 3 weeks at that point) and I helped Dad get stuff cleaned up. He had been working on the brakes on our truck since they had went out on me a few weeks prior, so we took our truck home.
Monday: I sat around the house all day worrying about the baby because he hadn’t moved much. I debated whether I should go get checked out and finally by 7pm or so, I decided to go to triage for peace of mind. DH stayed home with the boys, which was good because I didn’t get home till midnight. Baby was fine, obviously, but they did comment on his heart arrhythmia which was very pronounced that day. The Dr said to follow up with them about it. They also checked his fluid which was good at 12.1cm.
Tuesday: Up bright and early for my check up and growth ultrasound. My brother went with me to watch the kids because I didn’t have anyone who could babysit. The ultrasoundย measuredย baby’s fluid around 13cm. Zane weighed approx 3lbs 14oz. I was shocked that he is that big already but the tech said that was *only* the 61st percentile and wasn’t too big. They watched his heart for a long time because of the arrhythmia. Unfortunately, the Dr didn’t have the ultrasound report before I had my visit with her, so I don’t know if everything looked good or not. I’m hoping that it is all well. I mentioned that the soles of my feet have been itchy so she sent me for labs and they came back good. ๐Ÿ™‚
Wednesday: I took the kids to story time in the morning and we hung out at home the rest of the day. In the evening, I was just getting ready to start supper when DH called on his way home. That’s rather unusual so I knew immediately something must be wrong. He did, in fact, go off the road into a ditch. The roads were wet because it had been raining all day. He did a 360 through a soybean field and took out a road sign. Thank the Lord, he was not hurt at all! He missed a power line pole by just a few feet. That could have been significantly worse! His back was a little sore but that was it. His car looks worse for wear with the passenger door smashed and the mirror missing, but aside from ripping the brake lines out, it is fine. He managed to get it out of the ditch and into a very sweet family’s driveway. The man helped him fix the brakes so he could drive home. We were so thankful for his help and for God keeping DH safe. ๐Ÿ™‚
Thursday and Friday: Are totally coming up blank in my memory… Oh dear…. OH! I remember now… I cleaned for 6 hours straight on Friday. I went into full-on nesting mode and everything that seemed *gross* had to be cleaned.ย (Note: Everything seemed gross.)ย DH got sucked into my cleaning frenzy and we didn’t eat supper until super late. But the house was clean(er) and I was happy(er)…..Until the next day when I woke up so sore I could hardly function and had to take Tylenol just to move. Which wasn’t good because…
Saturday: The big walk/fundraiser for our local pregnancy center. They provide so much incredible help and resources to the moms, dads and babies/young children in our area. I didn’t know how I would make it for the whole walk, but I did! DH played music at the event also. Afterwards we went home and relieved my MIL from babysitting and I laid down for a short but extremely needed nap. Then we went to DH’s cousin’s wedding. I was wiped out at the end of that day!

 

 

Shew! That was longer than I realized. This week was less crazy but still a little busy. My sister came and stayed a couple days with us and babysat Levi while I took Tru to his follow up with the Pediatrician. He gained a half pound and hasn’t had an unexplained fever or belly pain in awhile, so we are supposed to go back in December to check in. ๐Ÿ™‚ The church had prayed over Tru a fever weeks ago and he has been doing great. We very much want to continue on with him feeling better!! The Dr just said to keep him on stool softener for now. He is back on moderate amounts of dairy and not taking Prevacid. ๐Ÿ™‚
We did a little shopping after the appointment since it was just me and Tru. I plan to have a one-on-one day with each of the boys in the next week or so. They desperately need to have my full attention for a day! I can’t believe how mature Tru is lately. Like today, we were going to a little street fair type of thing and he asked me if there would be rides there and if so, would that make his hat blow off. I was surprised that he thought ahead like that! He moved to a big boy bed last night and was so excited about it! He was asking to go to bed a full hour+ before bedtime. Awhile later he decided he didn’t like it and was scared, so I went and snuggled him for a bit. He still couldn’t sleep so I promised him we would go buy a nightlight for his room today. I arranged all his 500(ish) stuffed animals around his feet like he likes to have them and he finally fell asleep. He woke up this morning and announced he likes his new bed and wants to sleep in it tonight! Levi asked him “Why?” (of course!) and Tru said “All my animals are waiting for me.” SO CUTE!!! We went and bought him and Levi both a nightlight for their rooms and they were even excited to take naps. Score!! ๐Ÿ™‚ The plan was to get Levi moved to the crib-converted-to-toddler-bed tonight, but I didn’t get it done yet. Maybe tomorrow.

 

Ok, this is getting too long.

 

Dear God, thank You for your protection and provision for us these last two weeks. Thank You for keeping DH safe. Please continue to watch over and protect each and every one of us. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

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How far along? 9 weeks 5 days (4-21-17)
Symptoms? I’ve had both good and bad days this week with the nausea. My best time is still in the morning most days. Which seems silly because it’s called “morning” sickness, after all. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I gradually feel worse as the day progresses and by bedtime, I’m ready to fall asleep to get some relief. Some nights I feel sick throughout the night but not always. I know I followed this pattern with both of the boys but to a lesser extent. I’m having some minor breast tenderness again. It seems that they are growing some more. Fine by me! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Still pretty emotional – I can cry about practically anything – happy, sad, totally neutral, it makes no difference. The acne is way out of hand! Enjoyng my second go at my teenager face. HA! Still a bit more tired than usual. I think that’s pretty much it for this week. 


Weight? After freaking out last week about being up 4 pounds for the pregnancy, this week I was surprised to see that I actually lost 2 pounds so I’m +2 at 137lbs. That feels better for how far along I am. 

Bump? I think it looks smaller this week. Probably in part because of the Miralax finally working. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Haha. TMI, sorry. I gave up on my regular jeans around 7 weeks because I just really don’t like that tight feeling on my belly. But the maternity capris I pulled out are still way too big although I’ve worn them a couple times with a band around then to keep them up. Otherwise, I’m enjoying the looseness of maxi skirts. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Sleep? Not as good as it was. I’m tossing and turning alot and having so many weird dreams. I have been taking a nap during the day when I get the chance. 

Cravings/aversions? This week I only want to eat salad. At first it HAD to have Italian dressing. Now it HAS to have Ranch. I’m not even sure I want the salad as much as the dressing, although the crunch is really satisfying. I could go for a Coke Freeze anytime! That’s about it. All else is gross. 

Gender? Everyone is still enjoying specualting. It’s funny how pretty much EVERYONE is sure it’s a girl. Some people have flat out told me they are praying it’s a girl! I am being 100% honest when I tell you that I really do not have a prefence. We do have a girl name picked out (for 9 years now!) but nothing so far for a boy. But if we have a boy, we have absolutely everything we need. (Clothes, toys etc.) It just really doesn’t matter to me. My boys are great and I enjoy being their mom. I can’t imagine it being better or worse to parent a girl…. though I think it’d be really fun to have a daughter. 

My appointment with the new OB is in 3 days. I am nervous but also excited to see how we get along. I decided to write down a list of what I usually have vs what I would probably feel comfortable with as far as monitoring goes. I plan to ask her if we can work something out along those lines. I figure that if the MFM practice thought it was necessary, then we really should keep at least most of it. Not to mention, I just know myself and I would feel totally out of the loop and anxious. Here’s the list… After 12 weeks, I usually have: 

  • Anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks w/ cervical length 
  • Growth ultrasound every 4 weeks until birth 
  • NSTs twice weekly after 32 weeks 
  • Weekly AFI after 32 weeks 
  • Bi-weekly BPP after 32 weeks 

Here’s what I think I would feel comfortable with: 

  • Obviously they would still do anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks but I also want the cervical length, mostly because of the damage that Levi’s birth could have caused and I’ve never had a super long cervix. 
  • Growth ultrasound every 4 weeks. I really don’t think I could see myself being comfortable without this. 
  • NSTs once a week after 34 weeks. I figure that weekly appointments start around that time anyway. We might as well do an NST. I can’t imagine being comfortable with no NSTs at all. 
  • Bi-weekly BPP. I figure with this, I won’t be too concerned about AFIs, mostly because they proved highly inaccurate with Levi, although neccessary with Tru. 

My guess is the OB is going to think I’m crazy, but I’m ok with that. She will have to understand that I have had way extreme babying during my previous pregnancies and that is simply what I’m used to/comfortable with and it’s really not that excessive….. is it? If all else fails, I already scheduled an intake appointment with my old practice AND made sure that the Dr who was my primary before (the one who delivered Levi) will no longer be my primary and I don’t ever have to have an appointment with her. So that’s all taken care of. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Dear God, thank You for another week of pregnancy with this sweet little baby. Please continue to watch over and sustain it’s life according to Your will. Please help things to continue to go smoothly. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Haha! That acne is cracking me up!

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Have you ever stopped to notice how pretty dandelions are? I hadn’t until the other day. So vibrant! And also, so tasty! I’ve already fixed them 3 times this spring. Yum! ๐Ÿ™‚

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I bought this beautiful Easter Lily the day after Easter on markdown. I hope it comes back next year! I love my lilies. And incidentally, we had a great Easter but I never got around to posting about it. Oops!

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I’m going to recap 21 months since Levi just turned 22 months a few days ago. I do have to confess though, I spent the last month thinking he was 22 months already. Eep! 

At Levi’s last well check up (December 1st), he weighed 26lbs 15oz (72nd percentile), 34″ tall (73rd percentile) and 47cm ( 28th percentile) head cirumference. Since then, I’d say he has grown at least another inch taller. His pants are all becoming too short on him and he has moved almost entirely into 2T clothes and some 3T shirts. 

Vocally, Levi is quite an overachiever! There is almost nothing he can’t say now. He talks quite a bit but definitely isn’t as talkative as Truett is. About a month ago I heard him say his first 3 word sentence “My wear it.” Now he tells me all the time “I wuv you too.” He almost always says “too” after “I love you” even when he is the first one to say it. He must tell me 20+ times a day that he loves me. Which melts my heart and makes my day every time!! Yesterday as we were driving I was cracking up listening to Tru and Levi fight over a sippy cup. Levi kept saying “Ask Mom!” to Truett and I was just thinking “Where did this big boy come from all of a sudden!?” 

Speaking of what a big boy Levi is, I still can’t get him to give up the boob. He will go days or even a week without nursing but he asks for it every so often. Usually I tell him no, but sometimes he cries and sometimes he’s just sad and needs comforting. Lots of the time when I am holding him and he’s all snuggly, he wants to nurse. I almost always tell him no in that case. I think he looks and acts too old to nurse, in my opinion but then I think “Well, it’s natural and he’s not even 2 yet so…” I’m not sure when we will finally be completely done. 

Levi has become a very bossy little guy toward anyone younger than him and toward River. River can hardly breathe without Levi yelling “stop it!” and “NO!” at him. I am working on this with Levi to be nice and not yell at the dog. Also, when I babysit my cousin’s 14ish month old boy on Fridays, Levi bosses him around too. It’s actually pretty cute, but I know it’s behavior that we need to work on so he can be assertive without being rude. 

Levi is a bit obsessed with my hair. He holds it in his little hands and lays his face on it. He rubs my hair and says “Wuv you too.” He even moves his hands around in my hair and says “Cut!” over and over. Sadly for me, his curly hair is almost all gone now. He’s has 3 haircuts and the curls kept staying but after the 3rd hair cut, his hair is much less curly but still has nice body and wave in it. I definitely prefer Levi’s hair longer and Truett’s shorter. Levi has much more fine hair whereas Tru’s is really thick. Interesting how siblings can have features that are so different. Aside from the boys having the same color eyes and hair, they don’t really look much alike to me at all…. 

….But that doesn’t stop Levi from imitating every.single.thing. that Tru does. Whenever we walk to the car from the gym, they have this little pattern they like to do. First, they want to touch the trash can. And even though it only started because Tru (and then Levi, of course) threw away some trash once, Levi thinks he has to touch the can every time. Then a couple times Tru stuck his foot in this crack inbetween the side walk and the building. So now Levi has to do that too. And they HAVE to walk in the gravel beside the building. If Tru asks for a banana, Levi asks for one too. If one of them gets their sippy cup, they both have to have a sippy cup AT THE SAME TIME. And they ask for their cups every time we get in the car. Every time. Every single time. …. If Tru gets his blankie, Levi runs to his room crying for his blankie too. DH remarked last night “You guys aren’t twins! You don’t always have to do the same things!” Oh yes. Yes they do. It’s quite hilarious to me and I have grown used to making sure everything is fair and equal and they always have the same things at the same time… Now that I type that up, I wonder if that is healthy or if I should work on teaching them that they can’t ALWAYS do the the same exact things….? Hmmmm. 

Levi is usually pretty calm but a few times recently he’s let his temper show. A few weeks ago we were going into the grocery store and in the parking lot he started screaming about something, I’m not really sure what. He started throwing himself on the ground and I had to half-drag him into the store as I had my hands full. Once inside, he continued his temper tantrum throwing himself on the floor and screaming like the world was ending. I picked him up but I couldn’t hang onto him because he was doing that classic arms-in-the-air, worm manuvuer that kids do. So I’m carrying him to the bathroom as fast as I can so I can try to figure out what his issue is, with his coat sliding up over his head, his body flailing and him screaming at the top of his lungs. The shoppers were parting like the Red Sea to make a path for us, horrified looks on their faces and I, in all my Mom-of-the-year wonderfulness, just burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. We were a horrible sight. No one, including me, knew why this kid was screaming, and by all accounts, it looked like he was being mishandled even though I was doing my best. As soon as we got to the bathroom, I walked right in to the open stall, totally not noticing that there was a lady waiting in line for it. When we came out and I saw her, I appoologized and she just smiled and said it was ok. After that, Levi was cool as a cucumber. He calmed down like it was no big deal. Toddlers… gotta love ’em. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

I’m thankful for how snuggly Levi is. From time to time he will sit in my lap and just snuggle. He asks to “Hold you!” (But it sounds like “Holchu”) constantly. Especially if he thinks he will get crried around. He begs DH to carry him around every evening. It’s their bonding time, I guess. 

Also, he still asks to use the toilet quite a bit and I try to take him whenever he asks. It’s not real consistant yet but he does recognize when he needs to go, especially number 2, and tells me so I can take him. I’m really happy about that! 

Dear God, thank You for this beautiful little boy. Thank You for the things he’s learning and for the relationship that he is already starting to have with You. Please watch over and protect Levi and keep him healthy. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Our tree survived with not one broken ornament. If fact, the boys left the tree alone almost completely. I was shocked!! I told Levi to touch the ornament in this pic.

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Mommy’s chubbers little boy

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These boys are serious about their water

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I told Tru to pack 2 cups… but I mean… you wouldn’t want to get thirsty or anything.

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Levi stole a cadbury egg while I was in the checkout line. I turned around and it he was eating chocolate.

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But he rocks a manitail!

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I grew up very sheltered.

That’s actually an understatement.

I was homeschooled and there were times that, aside from going to church on Sunday, I didn’t leave the house for weeks or even a month at a time. I feel, as an adult, that it affected my ability to form friendships with people because I usually go through this incredibly awkward phase when meeting new people. I don’t know what to say and I get so nervous that I stutter and it’s embarrassing. Once I am around them awhile, and especially if they are good at making conversation, I feel much better. And actually, I think I am beginning to improve in this area. But it has definitely taken concentrated effort from me. Part of that is my personality, I’m sure. But I definitely think some of it comes from not having a whole lot of experience in social settings.

Side note: I don’t regret the fact that I was homeschooled. That wasn’t an issue. In fact, I actually liked that aspect of my life a lot because I didn’t have to get up super early every day and we often got extra time off from our homework because we were able to finish early. I graduated a year early too, so that was nice. One thing that I would maybe change for myself and would definitely do differently for my children if I homeschool them, would be to use different curriculum. I had to get my GED because the curriculum we used did not give us a diploma, even though we had good grades. It just wasn’t part of the program. I passed my GED easily but I always felt a bit embarrassed that I didn’t have an actual diploma. I know I shoudn’t feel that way and I don’t feel that way about other people who work hard to get their GED…. Anyway…..

My parents, espescially my mom, worked hard to shelter us from bad influences. I respect them for that. At the same time, I feel like I can speak from my past experience that issolating (versus protecting) your children from virtually everyone may keep them from learning things you don’t want them to learn, but only for a time. Kids form their own ideas and opinions about things and what they asssume to be true may very well end up being worse than the actual truth. That is why I will always try to be open and honest with my kids about the hard to talk about things, like drugs and sex and so on. I’m not sure what the appropriate age is to talk about these things with your kids but I know I certainly had some ideas about what sex was by the time I was 10 years old. When my kids ask me about it, I hope I will be able to explain these things to them in an age appropriate but honest way.

Even though I appreciate how hard my mom (and dad in his own, less extreme way) worked to keep us safe and innocent, I really don’t ever want my kids to live that shut off and recluse of a life. I was lonely sometimes. It helped a LOT that I had siblings. However, there is 5.5 years betweeen me and my older sister and almost 5 years between me and my next younger sister so I didn’t really have anyone my age to talk to, though I was/am very close to my sisters. I did have friends but I just didn’t see them often enough. When we finally did have plans to get together with friends, I was always grounded because I was a rather angry and mouthy teen (cussing my parents out would be the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately). It is/was obvious to me why I was so angry… because I was mad that I could never do anything or go many places. I just don’t think my mom was able to understand that because she grew up so differently that maybe she didn’t realize how it would feel to be that closed off. My younger siblings have SO MUCH more freedom than I ever did!

I think a big part of why my mom kept me at home so much was fear… Fear because she had bad past experiences. Fear because of things that happened to her sisters. I get that. And being vigilant is a good thing and I hope to always be aware and vigilant so I don’t put my children in compromising situations. But letting fear take over and letting it dictate your life is never a good thing. I don’t blame my mom at all and I’m not mad at her. I know she was just trying to keep her kids safe so they wouldn’t face any bad situations. She loves us and wanted to protect us. That I understand. But you can take a good thing way too far. Which I also understand. As a parent now myself, I am able to give her grace for her mistakes as a parent because this job is hard and I get that now. I struggle with my own fears for my children, which are different than hers but just as present, I would imagine.

I’m not really sure what I’m even trying to say here. I guess I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately and trying to use my childhood experiences to say “This is what was good and this is what I didn’t like. What can I do to find the right balance for my children?”

Truett has been running a low-grade fever for the last 4 days as we have all had a mild cold. He has a stuffy nose off and on and coughs occasionally at night. Levi ran a very slight temp of about 99.8 a couple times throughout this week and that was it. But with Tru, fevers always have been high and scary. 

Last night Tru woke up at 4am shivering uncontrolably with no fever. I put him in bed with us to warm him up and as it has happened before, not long after that he was burning up. I gave him Tylenol and checked his temp and it was 104.9F. Less than 5 minutes later his temp had risen to 105.9 and he began crying. DH went to get the ibuprofen from the kitchen while I wiped Tru with a cool cloth. Tru sat up in my lap and threw up a bunch of mucus and cried. I let him sip on Pedialyte while I kept wiping his body down until I could finally get him to take the ibuprofen. After maybe 15-20 minutes his temp was around 103 which I realize is the temp when most parents would start freaking out but sadly, with Tru and his history of really high fevers, DH and I almost start to relax ever so little once his temp drops to that range…. 

Anyway, sometime around 5am, he said “Pray me.” meaning of course that he wanted me to pray for him. I told him that I had been praying for him (silently) but that I would pray again. So I laid down next to him and prayed for him out loud. A few minutes later he started mumbling stuff which I couldn’t understand and then he said excitedly “God made me better!” Then he started looking around the room and saying “I see Santa Claus! He has sheep!” I turned and said to DH “Santa doesn’t have sheep!” And Tru continued on to say “There’s God! There’s Noah’s Ark and animals. See River?” And he pointed toward the side of the room. The dog was in the family room…. Then he told me he wanted to go home. I told him we are home but he said we weren’t. That really made me panic. I called my mom thinking that we might need her to come stay with Levi while we took Tru to the ER. We talked while Tru picked imaginary things off my shirt and she calmed me down a bit while we waited to see if the ibuprofen would bring his temp down a bit more. Tru was obviously hallucinating but I can’t help but think it was more than that. I kept checking his temp and it was 103-104. He would look at us and answer our questions but he kept seeing all these imaginary things. He talked about food that he could see, fire that was blowing, spider man, curious George, touching my face and chest and thinking he was touching Levi, and asked me “What’s that?” pointing at the ceiling. I told him I couldn’t see anything and he said “It’s God.” 

Finally his temp dropped more and he fell asleep around 6am. So the whole episode from him shivering, to his temp rising until it dropped down to under 103 was only 2 hours but it felt like forever!! 

This morning I asked him if he saw Santa Claus and some of the other things he’d mentioned last night. He said no. Then he told me “God was fixing me. He was scary.” I told him that God isn’t scary, He loves Tru. And then Tru said something like “He needs to talk. He was just quiet.” All day Tru has maintained this story, telling my sister when she came over “I was in mommy’s bed and God made me better!” 

I don’t know what to think of all this. It was really scary. I’ve had hallucinations from high fevers myself a number of times but when you see it happen to your child, it is really really scary. I’m so glad his fever came down relatively fast although it did take an hour of wiping him with cool cloths ect. But after his story I am more inclined to believe that God made him better than anything we did. 

He has had a slight temp today and has been pretty mellow although he has played a bit and eaten fairly well. I’m going to call his Dr tomorrow to tell them what happened since I am supposed to call them with any fevers he gets as a follow up from the fever episodes he was having. I just can’t help but think maybe Tru had a little glimpse into the spiritual realm last night and what he descibed was certainly amazing and comforting in a really freaky way. 

Oh my little Levi, how are you already 20 months old?! I mean, I know how it is scientifically possible that 20 months have passed since you were born, but you are almost 2 years old! Already! 

I always thought that Levi was going to be my mellow child who listened well and didn’t pop an attitude. Because I obviously didn’t know my child, at all! This boy is my kid who gives me the worst little pout face and refuses to be serious when I reprimand him. He goes from frowning at me to smiling while I am mid-scentence telling him no. I can’t keep a straight face when he does that! Ha Ha. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But all in all, he really does listen pretty well for a 1 and a half year old. 

And he is smart! So smart. A lot of stuff he knows because he follows Tru around all day and repeats everything he says and tries to do everything Tru can do. They are like peanut butter and jelly from the moment they wake up in the morning until they go to bed. Whichever one wakes up first, they are always running to the other’s bedroom looking for eachother. They do play pretty well but we have a fair amount of fighting over toys and just fighting in general. Levi’s retaliation right now is to bite Tru. Lots of times lately I hear Tru yelling “No bite, baby! No bite me!” and I run to grab Levi away. I’m not sure what to do to get him past this phase. I vaugly remember Tru doing some minor biting but I think it was a short time before he stopped. 

A few days ago we were getting ready to leave the house and I gave the boys their socks to put on. Now, Tru has been able to put on his own socks since before he was a year old. Levi? Not yet. But that’s because we never give him the opportunity to try! He’s not as set on being independent as Tru has always been so he doesn’t fight us helping him with things usually. So, he sat there struggling and Tru just couldn’t handle watching the painstaking process and he tried to help Levi. But Levi started yelling at him and running away with the socks to try again elsewhere. Tru started crying to me that he just wanted to help “baby” and I told him that Levi needed to try on his own. Tru said something like “He’s just a baby! He can’t do it. I can. I’m a big boy!” In that moment I saw the emotions I feel, coming from Tru. It’s hard watching your baby grow up. Sometimes there’s a bit of denial there. Sometimes I just want to freeze these years in time because they are already going so fast. But there is the whole other side where I am just wildly thrilled to watch them growing and learning how to do things on their own. But the most exciting part for me is watching their personalities develop….

And that is the biggest thing with Levi right now. He’s not acting like a baby much at all anymore. He’s becoming a “big boy” and it’s so fun to see! The one babyish habit that Levi hasn’t quite kicked yet is nursing. Lately he goes a day or two without and then decides he needs to check back in for a couple minutes. I can still express a bit of milk if I try. Interestingly, it looks like colostrum again. ?? I tell him no when he says “boob” a lot of the time but I really don’t care to nurse him if we are at home or if he gets hurt or is sad. 

As far as speech goes, Levi says everything he wants to say but usually just 1 or 2 words at a time. Which I guess is probably on track for his age. He gets his point across, that’s for sure! He definitely has a quiet, contemplative side but he also has a really loud voice and he’s not afraid to use it in case you didn’t hear him the first time. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

I think he is starting to call himself by his name sometimes. Or rather Vevi, since that is what Tru calls him a lot. The other day my dad asked Tru “Who is that?” pointing to Levi and Tru said “That’s baby”. My dad said “I thought he had another name. Isn’t his name Vivi?” And Tru said very adamantly “No. His name is VEVI!” We also call him “nugget” quite a bit and I thought I heard Levi call himself nugget once. Poor kid probably doesn’t know his real name! I jest, I jest…. 
One of the most exciting developments recently is that Levi now says “wovou” (love you) and “wovou too”! I think he’s probably been saying it awhile but I didn’t realize that’s what he was trying to say until I told him “mommy loves you” while I had him on the changing table getting him ready for bed and he said “wovou too”. I seriously melted!! He also grabs my face and gives me kisses and hugs and is very loving with Tru also. They kiss each others boo boos and Tru will even cry more if Levi won’t kiss him better. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Dear God, what a gift to be watching my Promised Gift learn and grow day by day. I’m so thankful for the joy of being his mother. I pray that You will protect him and watch over him. I pray that You will help us to raise him up to be loving and kind. Respectful and honest. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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I don’t know if I’ve ever waited this long to start Christmas shopping in my entire adult life. I usually start to feel waves of panic by September. Here we are in mid November already. Ha! But anyway, yesterday we went to find DH a pair of dress shoes and I ended up with a full cart of Christmas presents. I got most of the gifts bought that we needed to pick up for DH’s family and today I picked up a few more for other people. I don’t know what we are going to get the boys. They don’t need a darn thing. I got them each a dvd today with kid shows and I plan to do the box with the jammies, movie, popcorn etc again this year. That was a MAJOR hit with Tru last year and he still asks to sit on the couch and eat “popcorns” and still loves to watch his “Christmas doggy movie” (Olive, The Other Reindeer) They get so much stuff from everyone else that I don’t really know what to get them myself. Which is a GOOD problem to have. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

We didn’t have a Christmas tree last year because with one baby crawling and a very curious toddler,, it didn’t feel feasible without putting a gate around the tree. (BOO) So, we chose to sit the year out without a tree. It was a bit depressing. But this year, we are looking forward to picking out a tree, maybe next week. I pointed the trees out to Tru today when we saw some at the store and he seemed excited about buying one soon. (We always do a real tree) I think Levi will do fine around it. We may have a couple incidents but I expect he will know not to touch it. Tru has also been excitedly pointing out all the decorated houses when we are driving. He LOVES the lights and talks about his lights at home that my dad gave us recently. One of those star shower things. Tru and Levi are obsessed right now with sitting in the bedroom with it plugged in so DH pulled us up some songs on ytube and we danced around pretending the lights were a disco ball. Fun times. Toddlers are so fun!! I love this stage. (I say that with every new stage, I know.) 

I am currently on CD37, 17-18dpo (or at least what I assumed was o – I guess it wasn’t?) and have had several BFNs and one sketchy second line of undeterminable color on $.88 WM tests and one really disheartening ‘NO -‘ on a FRER digi. So I don’t know what’s up with that… At least this has kicked my butt in the right direction since I think I am going to schedule a check up with my RE’s office because something just isn’t feeling right with my left ovary. And I know it had a cyst on it a few weeks ago at my yearly with my gyno. That probably needs looked at…and is also the likely culprit for the delayed cycle, as much as I really wish this time I could be one of those unicorn ladies who failed to pee hcg and went to the gyno only to find out she’s like 8 weeks pregnant afterall. Hey, a girl can dream, right? 

Oh! But here’s some good news! DH got a promotion at work and is moving up to the office now from driving truck. He is super excited. It does come with a tidy little pay increase which is great because DH almost always works 50 hour weeks with some 56 hour weeks thrown in there, so now that he is going to the office, he won’t have to work overtime very often (YES!!!) but will come out just a tad under what he usually makes. It’s super! His hours are changing also which is both good and bad but mostly it’s good because maybe he will finally get more sleep. ๐Ÿ™‚ We went to buy his new “office boy” clothes yesterday and he does look really cute in his dress pants and button ups. 

And as for piggerstien, he is doing well but keeps getting out of his pen and I just don’t.know.where. I have fortified every bit of that pen and there is no evidence as to how he gets out. Maybe pigs are flying now? He ran over to our neighbors a few days ago and we had no idea where we went. DH’s cousin sent me a text and asked if our pig was missing. I told her YES, he was gone when we came home and we had no idea where he was. She sent back that she saw a post on FB in a county group that someone had a random pig show up at their house. And yes, it was ours. So crazy how information can get around so quickly in our world now! I went and got him the next day and, after some adding of boards, thought I had his pen hog-tight. But tonight he escaped yet again and thankfully DH saw him and put him back. The bottom line – pigs make cute pets, funny pets, interesting pets, great food scrap eating pets, but in general – not a great pet. So much trouble! Crazy pig. 

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I don’t know what my issue is lately. So much to say but then I don’t say it. Some of it has to do with laziness I’m sure and also the general blah that has come over me since that dreadful thing we call Fall has arrived. I feel mega stressed about winter, as pathetic as that may sound. I don’t do well with the cold. In the state we live in we have 7 months that range from slightly chilly to bitter blistering cold at a moments notice and 5 months that range from perfect to too freaking hot to be outside. As in, heat advisories issued on the television multiple days throughout the summer. Best of both worlds, cold and heat advisories. If we actually manage to pay off our house in the next 5ish years, I have plans in my head about buying a very tiny house in a warm state and renting it to vacationers during the summer and escaping there during the cold. If I sound like an old person for these thoughts, GOOD! They have the right idea! 

Because I know you don’t just come here to listen to me complain, dear readers – you dear patient people whom I love – I do actually have some fun updates to share. We celebrated Truett’s birthday with our friends and family on the 29th of October with a smallish (for us) party. It was great! Pirate themed and right up my alley seeing as how I used to read pirate books as a teen and absolutely loved them. Making the decorations was so fun. DH’s aunt spent a small fortune and countless hours on the – hands down – cutest pirate birthday cake ever. Dudes, the pirate had a butt crack showing! And belly button. If that’s not just the cutest!

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Tru loved his party so much and danced his way right through the happy birthday song. It was so fun! And of course he was spoiled rotten with toys which him and Levi have been playing with at the exclusion of all their “old, boring” toys. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

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Then we had Truett’s Rheumatology appointment on the 31st and seeing as he has not had a real fever since the Great Fever Incident of September, we are taking a watchful waiting approach versus doing blood work right now for Periodic Fever Syndrome. The Dr felt that was still a possibility but was not too concerned about it at this point. We are supposed to call in with any fever and they will do blood work. Also, Tru had his pelvic and abdominal ultrasound the same day which he hardly noticed since they let him watch a movie during it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Poor child did have to go hungry all the way until about 2pm though because of not being allowed to eat or drink beforehand. I felt so bad for him. But anyhow, the ultrasound looked good. So the last item on our list is the stool study and I have been unable to get an… errrm… sample, so we have not “turned in” that test yet. But hopefully this week we will. ๐Ÿ™‚ That test is to look for a bunch of things that coud be causing his belly pain (which he hasn’t complained of lately, thankfully) and his marked bloating. So much so that his hernia which was going away, has seemed to pop out more. :/ 

A few days after returning from New York (which I still want to post some really cute pictures we got there) I was hit by the stomach bug that I thought I had escaped desite Truett throwing up on my face. Yes. Always happens to me. The worst part of having a stomach virus is, for me, the fact that I have… emetophobia. It’s a thing. Look it up. But my Dr had called me in some phenergan. I thought it didn’t help since I still “got sick” a couple times but after DH came down with the bug the next day and got sick 15ish times, I was really thankful for the phenergan I had taken. It must have really helped me. The weird thing was that Levi came down with the virus twice in a week. Poor baby. But he never acted like he felt bad at all, thankfully. ๐Ÿ™‚ And we all were well in time for Tru’s party. 

Last weekend we attended my cousin’s beautiful wedding out of state but still close enough to easily drive there. It was gorgeous! Levi danced his heart out at the reception and if I knew how to post video here, I would. He actually dances like he knows what he’s doing and he’s just a baby! It’s hilarious! He was getting all the ladies. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

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And, because I have been good and not bored you with TTC news in a few months, I feel compelled to tell you that we have reached the 1 year mark of trying again and of course, nada. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I am sad about it to be frank with you but I feel like I really can’t blog about the way I feel on here because some of my readers have suffered so and some are still struggling to have their first or second child and I just don’t feel I have a right to boo hoo on here about the way I feel right now. But yes, I’m struggling a little. I have days were I am fine and I just feel very content with the way things are and I never ever forget for even a minute how blessed I am to have my boys. Then there are days… or maybe just moments really were I remember the double meaning behind my blog name. Journey is the name that we picked out for our baby girl when we had been dating all of one week. I still want Journey, or another boy would be just as amazing. I love being a boy mom! I guess if I knew it would happen again someday that I will have another baby, I wouldn’t be worried at all. It’s just that I don’t know if that will ever happen again, so I struggle a bit. I have not OPK’d or kept track much at all in a few months but based on the massive ov pain I had this month, I’d say we BD at exactly the right time. Come on boys!! I’m still taking my Lovenox and so on and need to get DH and I back on our immune support and (hopefully) fertility friendly vitamins. There is a miniscul possibility that we would try ivf again in, say… 3 years. But it’s something we’ve barely talked about so far. 

Lest this get too long, I’d better pause in the updates for now. Stay healthy and happy!  ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Wow!! I am embarrassingly behind on this little dude’s update. :/ It just seems like he is growing so much and there is all this new stuff to post on him but as soon as I sit down to write, I forget. Ah, life….

Probably my favorite part about this age is the stuff Tru says. He’s hilarious! And not just because he announces every time “I fartses” and “I poop balls”. He came up to me the other morning and touched my hair and said “You hair is great!”

Tru is an awesome compliment giver and is good about saying sorry unprompted. He is always telling me “Hey! Good job, mom!” when I do anything he appreciates, even stuff like getting him a drink or coloring with him. He loves to give and get hugs. Especially when Levi hugs him, that’s extra special. He says “Baby wuvs me!” I was babysitting a few weeks ago and Tru said “Mommy, I wuv Noah! Baby, you wuv Noah?” He still mostly calls Levi “baby” or “Vevi”.ย 

Unfortunately, Tru has the bad habit of biting his finger AND toe nails. I haven’t cut his nails in months because he always has them chewed down to the quick. Occasionally he has bit his toe nails so far down that they’ve bled a bit. :/ He seems to mostly do it at night after we put him to bed so it’s hard to stop him. I noticed the other day that he calls his finger nails “finger snails”. And the moon in crescent phase? It looks like a finger snail. Tru loves the moon and keeps close track of it while we are driving at night. He will ask “where moon go?” every time we go around a curve or turn and he loses sight of it for a minute.ย 

It’s so great now that I can pick Tru’s clothes out for the day and he dresses himself (usually the right way) and gets his shoes when we are getting ready to go and puts them on. Actually, he’s been able to do this stuff for a solid year at least but not as consistently as he does now. He even brings me MY shoes now when he is ready to go. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Tru loves going places and begs to go to Granmoms” all the time. A lot of mornings he will ask me “we go bye-bye?” when I go to get him out of bed. He loves going to play with the kids in the gym child care. He also asks to see his cousin and to go to his “other house” which I’m pretty sure is DH’s parents house. I think he calls it that because DH’s sister’s family had to live there temporarily while they were moving and Tru figured out that his cousins had an “other house” so he thinks that’s his place too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

We are still struggling with this refusal to eat much. But, I’m just taking it bit by bit and trying to be firm but patient. Tru has been out of his highchair and sitting at the table at mealtime for several months but I brought it back out and have started buckling him in so he at least doesn’t get distracted and walk away while he is supposed to be eating. I really think it’s working better as he ate a good breakfast and a better lunch than he had been. I don’t really like for him to know that it’s frustrating me so I try to not press the issue. But I do repeatedly encourage him to take bites and bribe him a little bit with TV time etc. We’ve cut wayyyy back on TV time and have let him watch almost none for the last month because I don’t like the side it brings out in Tru. It seems like tantrums are worse and more frequent the more TV he watches. Which is likely the fault of the programs he enjoys as they are so darn hyperactive and loud. I do admit that sometimes its nice to use TV as a babysitter while I clean, but its just not worth it anymore at all!! (And Levi doesn’t like TV whatsoever so it never distracts him anyway.) I’ve been getting Tru to actually sit down with books for at least a short bit. He reads out loud to himself and points out all the letters, numbers, shapes and objects that he knows. And that makes me super happy!

Tru is very stubborn. I can’t fault him for it because he gets it from me. And DH. Poor kid, he has a double dose. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s not a bad thing though really!! I try to just tell myself that this is such a great trait if it is carefully cultivated. I’m glad he’s stubborn! That determination can go a long way in life. But right now, it can be a huge struggle. That said, while we still have some days that are fraught with fit after fit after screaming fit, explaining things to Tru and calming him down is getting easier. I’ve found that the best way to get him to behave is to use time outs in his bed. I was surprised that this worked best for him but everyone responds differently and time out calms him down quickly. When I go to get him up he often tells me “I be happy” and he usually is, at least for awhile. Sometimes when he’s crying he will wipe his eyes and tell me “I want be happy!!!” repeatedly. I feel for him because I know sometimes you don’t want to be upset but it just feels like your emotions are out of control. Poor little guy. It is ridiculously cute though when he says that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Tru is super obsessed with making sure everything has working batteries. He gets the whole concept of opening panels with a screwdriver to change batteries. He is definitely a techy kind of guy because his favorite ever games to play on cell phones are….. message (entering numbers and letters on a text message) and numbers (calculator). Forget candy crush, people! Just let me play with your calculator!!

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Gloves make great monkey feet! Tru wore these gloves on his feet for hours.

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Pre hair cut a few weeks ago

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Cause sometimes you are just too cool

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Trying out his new car seat. He sat in it for about an hour and didn't want out. He loves the cup holder and pockets.

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Tru loves pointing out everything he recognizes in his books

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Partners in crime after coloring the whole porch in sidewalk chalk ๐Ÿ˜‰

Dear God, thank You for all of the blessings you have poured out on Tru’s life. For all the fun things he does and says and for blessing me with the very special gift of being his mommy. Please watch over him and continue to keep him safe and healthy. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This month has been pretty crazy for Levi. The poor kid actually DID break his leg on the slide at the park but it didn’t show up on the first set of xrays. He started walking with a bit of a limp 3 days later and walked for a whole week after that. He even tried to run a few times! He hardly acted like it hurt anymore but I was concerned that his foot was turned inwards a bit and I felt like his limp was getting worse. Then, 10 days after the accident on the slide, he stopped walking and would only crawl. He didn’t want to put any weight on his foot and I could tell it was really hurting again. So the following day (saturday, of course) we took him to a children’s urgent care where they did more xrays and found the break in his lower leg above the ankle. It’s not a bad break and it’s already healing but he still has to get a cast put on for awhile. For now it is in a splint and he isn’t allowed to put weight on it. The splint is bulky and he hates it because he can’t get comfortable but I hope that his leg will stop hurting now while it heals up and he can get back to being his usual active self soon. Why he was able to walk for a week on a broken leg and then suddenly realized it really hurt, I don’t know. He is one tough kid! I really just knew in my gut it was broken all along. The Dr said it isn’t unusual for some types of breaks like his to not show up until a bit after the injury when the bone starts to heal and makes the damage more visible on the xray. So I’m not upset at the first ER for missing it but I am still upset that such a little dude already has had to suffer something as painful as a broken bone. This has definitely taken his energy level down and I was starting to really worry about him since he was acting and looking so exhausted lately.

Prior to all that, Levi had his 15 month check up and looked great. 23 pounds 10 ounces in the 62nd percentile, 32 inches tall in the 78th percentile and I lost the measurement for his head so I don’t know what percentile he is in. Most of his baby chub is gone now and I really really miss it! He definitely slowed wayyyy down in growth physically but I think all his growing power went to his brain because he is so smart! Not trying to brag, he just is. ๐Ÿ˜‰

This month has been a huge boom for Levi’s vocabulary. He now says around 30 words and has an absolutely ADORABLE voice. It’s so fun to hear him start talking and showing that he really pays attention to everything. Current words include: Dada, Mommy (meme), Tru-Tru, woof-woof, River, no, food, cracker, cheese, banana (nana), yogurt (go-ga), cereal, Critter, turtle, chickie, shoe, ba-ba (which means cup), bye, hi, baby, aubrey, horsey (see-see), please (pshh), thank you (choo), tractor, boob, feet, tv (vv). That’s all i can think of for now.

Levi has decided that only babies eat with their hands and he wants to use a fork since he is clearly so grown up! He does really well with a fork and has good coordination picking food up and actually getting it into his mouth most of the time. Mealtimes are somewhat hit and miss but I can usually count on him to do pretty well eating his food. His pickiness is mostly gone now except he still doesn’t like much fruit. I can’t blame him for that though because I don’t like it either. He doesn’t like milk very much which surprises me because he LOVES Enfagrow Toddler Formula in the Natural Milk flavor. Doesn’t make sense but, whatever. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I still offer him milk at least once a day and he will usually take a few sips. Especially if I mix it with a small scoop of Vanilla Pediasure to bribe him with. He also prefers sippy cups over bottles which is funny because of Tru wanting bottles but his baby brother wanting cups. ๐Ÿ˜‰

This little busy man has NO TIME for tv and couldn’t care less about what is on. It comes in so handy to give Tru my phone when we are at appointments and so on as he will sit there perfectly happy watching kids shows. But Levi? Nope! Not a bit. The thing that is funny though is he loves watching videos of himself and/or Truett.

This is long enough and I really just need to get it posted before it’s too late. I am yet to upload all my photos for the last couple months but I’ll try to find a few to include.

Dear God, thank You for all of Your blessings and provisions on us this month and always. Please continue to heal Levi’s leg. Thank You for helping us to figure out what was wrong with it and getting the help to heal it. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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While in Florida. His hair was super curly there the whole time. He's had a haircut since and I miss so many curls even if it was a frizzy mess mostly.

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The 2 boogers that make each other scream by putting their feet on each other in the car.

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Playing with the shovel we finally bought them on the second to last day.

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With his splint after leaving the dr

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Me? Still eating a boob? I don't know what you're talking about!

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Naps with mommy to help heal.

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