Archives for category: breast feeding

I’m going to post this without pictures for now because I haven’t uploaded them yet and don’t have time right now, but I’ll try to post them soon.

 

*This is the TMI version of the birth. Blood, amniotic fluid and all. If that disturbs you, I’d recommend skipping this post.*

 

*Birth is usually a beautiful event. It is also a painful and sometimes dramatic event. This birth was mostly calm, but I don’t sugar-coat the pain. Just know that it was all 100% worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing because this is the way that my baby came into my arms and I am so thankful and blessed to have him here.*

 

I have a few spare minutes so I thought I’d try to get the birth story written down. It’s already getting very fuzzy on timelines and details but that’s ok. It was an absolutely beautiful birth. Horribly intense but very short labor. 38 weeks 5 days, the day before I was going to be induced, I spent the day at home with the boys just spending time together, cleaning up the house and getting the last items thrown in the hospital bags. We skipped nap time in favor of an early bedtime. The boys were in bed by 8pm and DH and I went to bed a little before 9. Of course, despite taking Unisom and a natural sleep supplement my sister L gave me, I didn’t fall asleep until after 11 and sleep was very fitful after that. I had to be up at 2:40am to get ready to leave for the hospital, but I woke up a little after 2 with pain in my leg and nervousness running crazy, so I got up around 2:20 and got a shower, curled my hair and had breakfast. We left the house a bit after 3:30 and got to the hospital at about 5am.

 

 

Once we got admitted to our room, the nurse hooked me and baby up to the monitor, asked 20 million questions and tried to start an IV. She couldn’t get it after 2 tries, so she had another nurse come in and get it started. That whole IV process took over half an hour! At that point, she flushed an entire bag of fluid through me and started the pitocin at 2 at about 7am or a little after. She checked me to get a starting point and I was 3cm, 60% effaced and baby was -2 station.

 

 

The contractions started soon after but were very mild, very short and not too frequent. (registering around 50 on the toco monitor)The next set of nurses came on shift right after that. One was in training and had only been there a few days and the other was so young, she couldn’t have been there long herself. They came in every half hour to increase the Pitocin by 2 and check my blood pressure. At 8:59am, I texted my mom to tell her that the contractions were getting stronger. At 9:04, I told her they were close. The Dr come in right after that to talk about breaking my water. I told her I didn’t want to yet and she asked when I would want her to. I told her, maybe in 4 hours. She said that was ok, but a long time and maybe 2 hours would be better and she would come back to check later. I asked her how high we were going to go on the Pitocin since I was VBAC and she said that they don’t usually induce VBACs so she couldn’t answer that. Then she left. At that point I had cycled through laboring in the bed, in the rocking chair and was now on the birth ball.

 

 

By the time they had bumped me to 6 on the pitocin, I told the nurse that I wouldn’t be able to stand much more. My contractions were over 124+ on the toco and happening very frequently. (From my labor with Levi, I knew that the pitocin on 3 was already too much for my body and they had to turn it off. Pathetic I know, but my uterus responds very very strong to just a tiny tiny bit.) I texted my mom at 9:25 that the contractions were much worse and very close, then at 9:33 I told her she should leave the house to come to the hospital soon! (They have a 1.5+ hour drive too) The nurse bumped the Pitocin to an 8 and I knew I couldn’t go any higher. The pressure and pain were horrendous by that point and I asked them to turn it down. I was trying to labor kneeling over the bed, and later standing while leaning on the bed. They kept saying that we wanted this kind of contractions and it was good, but from having been in labor before, I knew this was wayyy too intense for my body. Labor with Levi was very manageable. I could walk around and stop to squat with the contractions. I could breathe through them (until transition) but with these, I couldn’t bear it. I was breaking down crying and moaning very loudly and no matter how hard I tried to relax into the contraction and breathe through it, I couldn’t. They were coming very fast and the pain was completely localized on my c-section scar and intense downward pressure. Finally the nurses asked the Dr what to do and came back to the room to flush another bag of IV fluid through me and turn the Pitocin down to 4. Which helped space the contractions just a bit, and dimmed the pain enough that I stopped hyperventilating. My face and then my legs had gone numb from not being able to slow my breathing down, and my vision was getting weird, which was exactly what happened in my labor with Levi during transition. I kept saying “I’d think I was in transistion if it wasn’t so soon.” And the nurses and DH kept telling me that I probably was and that I should let the Dr come check me. I decided to try getting in the shower first because I couldn’t handle hearing that I hadn’t made any progress yet.

 

 

I got in the shower to sit on the seat for about 5 minutes, if that. It felt amazing and calmed me down, but the Dr came in the room again and asked if I wanted her to check me now or in 2 hours. I decided to do it now, even though I hated to get out of the shower, because I couldn’t imagine 2 more hours of this kind of labor. I had asked her at my first check, when I should get the epidural line placed and she said I didn’t have to. But at this point, hearing me while I was working through the pain and having 3 more contractions just getting out of the shower, she said I should go ahead and get it placed. I’m not sure if she became concerned because of the pain I was having or what, but all the pain was still localized to the scar area and downward pressure. She had talked earlier about putting a pressure monitor in my uterus to make sure I wasn’t rupturing, (never knew any such thing existed!) but said my water would have to be broken first. I didn’t have any scar pain with Levi, so that was new! Anyway, the Dr checked me and said I was 8cm, then she left the room with no other comment. I thought that was weird since I knew she wanted to break my water soon, but she was very respectful of what I wanted and I appreciated that she wasn’t pushy at all. It was just so completely different from my experience with the Dr who delivered Levi. Night and day.

 

 

So, the anesthesiologist showed up right away (DH took a call from my mom right about then at 10:47am) and I was thrilled to see him! All through my pregnancy, I had been on the fence about getting the epidural dosed this time but I had decided I would go with whatever felt right at the time. I asked him what my options were for pain if I still wanted to get out of bed. (I had been to the bathroom about 800 times at that point and didn’t want to be stuck in bed or have a catheter.) He suggested a dose of fentanyl through the epidural line and said that would probably hold me over till the birth since the birth would be soon. I thought that was a great option! What I didn’t know was that it would make me itch all over and feel very warm, but it was worth it! He also gave me a shot of pepcid which was supposed to help the itching. I felt so much relief from the fentanyl! I was able to lay down in bed and rest my body. I had been shaking really badly through the pain and I finally calmed down and could breathe. At that point, my MIL, FIL, SIL and niece arrived. I was calm and able to talk to DH and my SIL between contractions for a little bit while everyone else waited in the waiting room. Then the contractions started hurting like crazy again and I was back in the dire pain situation again. I’m not sure how much time had passed. Maybe an hour? I could feel a warm sensation with each contraction. It felt like the water was flowing out of my body, but it hadn’t broken yet. I think that was the water bag bulging….

 

 

My parents arrived and I continued to work through the pain and contractions. My Dad stood by the bed looking quite helpless. I halfway felt bad for him and halfway found it quite humorous. He eventually left to go sit with my FIL. When I went to use the bathroom, there was quite a lot of blood and I got scared but the nurse said it was normal. After a little while, I was clinging to the bed rail, half sitting during the contractions, crying and starting to freak out again. The nurse checked me and said I was 10cm and my water bag was bulging. She said if we could break the water, baby would come fast. I was so scared to get my water broke, mostly because I didn’t know how I could cope with any more pain, but I agreed to let the Dr come break my water. My mom, DH and the nurses were all telling me to just let the Dr do it so we could get the pain and delivery over with. Right after the nurse left the room, I felt two pops around my belly button. A couple of seconds passed and then water started gushing out. It wasn’t nearly as much water as I’d had with Levi, but it was much less painful to have it break on its own rather than having a Dr digging in there with the hook. I was so relieved that the Dr didn’t have to break it. At this point, the contractions were so incredibly intense with pressure, but I still didn’t have the urge to push. DH went to get the nurse and she came back in the room a few minutes later. I don’t think she was at all convinced my water had gone but she called for the Dr. I told the nurse I wanted the pitocin off because I was contracting so fast and hard. She wouldn’t turn it off and I was like “I am obviously having the baby now. My labor isn’t going to stop.” But anyway, when she left the room, I turned the drip off. I know I shouldn’t have, but it seemed so stupid to have it still running and causing me so much extra intense pain.

 

 

At that point, a few minutes before 1pm, I told the nurse that I wanted another dose of fentanyl. The anesthesiologist said that wasn’t allowed so I asked for a small dose of the epidural. Everyone was all “You don’t need it! You’ll be having the baby in a few minutes!” But I insisted that I did want it. I had pretty much made up my mind that I wanted something to take the edge off during pushing and in case I ended up with a million stitches again. So, the anesthesiologist came in again and I explained that I wanted only the very smallest amount of medicine possible. I wanted to be able to move my legs and change positions and push in whatever position felt right. Not to be numb entirely or unable to move my legs. He said he had just the thing and gave me a shot through the line. He said to lay on my back for 7-10 minutes to let the medicine work. I couldn’t though. I had to sit up. I couldn’t handle even one contraction laying down.

 

 

The Dr arrived right after that and checked me. She told me to start pushing. I had been sobbing and saying “I don’t want to push!” over and over. I feel kind of silly looking back now. 😉 But I realized later that the reason I didn’t want to push was because I was so worried I would hemorrhage again. That and I was afraid I would tear. Anyway, I still didn’t have the urge to push, just the incredible intense pressure I had felt all day. That and the horrible pain in my incision which was overriding every other sensation in my body. But the Dr just started counting, so I pushed. 3 pushes and his head was right there. I think I pushed through 4 contractions, 2 or 3 pushes each time. Once his head was halfway out, she said to stop and let my body stretch so I wouldn’t tear (with Levi I wasn’t told to stop and that probably caused a lot of the tearing). She said he would come out on his own with the next contraction. I impulsively reached down and felt Zane’s head. It was so warm and soft. I couldn’t wait to get him out! Once I had another contraction, out he popped at 1:09pm, with his right hand up by his face just like it always was in my ultrasounds. I think I pushed about 6 minutes. The nurse had covered my belly with a towel and I kept pushing it away and she kept moving it back. I was getting so annoyed! I wanted the baby right on me. His cord was very short so he couldn’t go on my chest until DH cut it about a minute after birth. (I wanted to wait longer but the Dr said they will only wait 1 minute – oh well) FINALLY, they moved Zane up onto my chest and it was such an incredible feeling. He cried, I cried…. 🙂

 

 

The placenta was out a minute or 2 later with no issues. The Dr said I had a tiny tear (Yep! I felt that happening!) and needed 2 stitches. Thankfully, the epidural had worked its way to where I needed it and the stitching wasn’t painful. During the pushing, I had sensation but not so much burning as I had with Levi. I’m not sure if that was due to the epidural starting to take effect or if it was just an easier birth. Either way, I was very happy with how everything went. I wouldn’t change a thing!! I lost very little blood and was up and walking to the bathroom less than 2 hours later. I felt amazing! Not like I had just had a baby. I have had seriously almost no soreness down there at all. I can’t believe the difference in healing this time. I am so thankful for how God worked everything out!! I know DH was praying all through the labor and so was I. I had my mom, MIL, SIL, and sisters S and M and of course, DH there during the birth and it was perfect. I had been on the fence about having so many people in the room again, but I don’t regret it at all. I know they were all praying for us and it just felt cozy and happy. I am also so happy that I got the Dr that I had that day. When I had a prenatal check up with her, I had told DH that I would be happy with her at the birth and she really was great. 🙂 And honestly, even though we had young and very fresh nurses, they did a great job and I am happy that they got to see us all the way through the labor and birth.

 

So, all told, I had 6 hours of labor, but only 3.5 hours of hard labor. If I had went into labor at home and waited to see if it was the real thing and called my sister to come watch the kids and had DH come home from work and then drove over 1.5 hours to the hospital – we likely would have either barely made it in time, or had the baby in the car. Of course, it’s possible that labor would have been slower without pitocin, but who knows how much more I might have dilated before labor started. I think it was a good call to induce and I don’t regret it even though I thought I might. And I am happy Zane was born without any distress aside from a few minor dips in heartrate during the labor. Just so thankful he was born safe and happy. 🙂

 

 

We stayed in the hospital for 2 days. We were going to go home the next day but Zane’s bilirubin came back at 5.1, so we opted to stay at the pediatrician’s request because of how bad Levi’s jaundice had gotten. They wanted to watch him another night just in case. The next day it was 7.8 but my milk was coming in at that point and he was out of the danger zone. 🙂 It was nice to have another day in the hospital, mostly because Zane had come so fast that he choked on the mucus all night that hadn’t been squeezed through his lungs. I felt better having the nurses nearby because I ended up buzzing them once when I couldn’t get the mucus suctioned out and I started to get scared. Obviously, he was fine. Also, he was so sore after the circumcision that I was glad he had a day to heal before coming home and being passed around and held by his big brothers. We missed Tru and Levi so much and they missed us too and ended up crying on the second night but we talked to them on the phone and they were alright. 🙂 Little Zane is 1 week old today!! He is such a calm and happy baby. He has woken up about 2 times a night, every night since he was born. Hoping that he keeps doing so well. I am so thankful for my Third Gracious Gift of God. 🙂

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So, last week I typed up a nice update for 16 weeks, and my computer ate it. Second time it has done that to me. So I have no 16 week update or picture since we were too busy to take one last weekend. 😦

We went to the work picnic for DH’s job last weekend and had a blast! The kids rode on lots of kiddie rides and really enjoyed themselves. It was a long day and I was exhausted that evening and still pretty worn out the next day. But thankfully the weather was pretty cool, and with lots of hydration, I felt really good all day and only had a few minutes where I felt lightheaded. When that happened I just went and got more water. It was so fun to watch the boys enjoying the rides. 🙂

And also lost in the 16 weeks update is the news that we chose a name for our new little boy. Zane Trey; because Zane means God’s gracious gift and Trey means third. Zane was actually a name we considered for Levi and we like it for it’s meaning most of all, but also, we can call him Z. And how cute is that!! 🙂

How far along? 17 weeks 5 days (as of 6-16-17)
Symptoms? Feeling really good the last couple weeks. My only real complaint is restless legs syndrome. Which I have regardless of pregnancy, but it does seem to get worse during pregnancy. Right now it is really constant. I’m doing lots of stretches to try to help it, and to some extent, it does seem to help… or at least give temporary relief. Aside from that, I am at that stage where I feel pretty much myself.  *Side note: I skipped taking unisom the night I wrote this update and I was quite queasy the next day. So I’m definitely staying on that for now.*

 

Sometimes I look down at my belly and I’m kind of caught by surprise. Wow! There is actually a little person in there, growing and living their life. Stretching, kicking, rolling, sucking his thumb, sleeping and waking up, having hiccups… even going pee, if everything I’m reading is correct for this stage. That’s amazing! Because most of the time, I don’t really feel like all of this is going on in there. I mean, I know it is, but I’m just going about my day, rushing to get stuff done, focused on a million other things…. and I look down at my belly and I’m just struck by the wonder and the miracle of life. It’s truly a gift. Every moment.

 
Weight? I actually forgot to weigh myself today. Earlier this week I was +11 pounds.
Bump? Some days, the activity I feel is still pretty minimal. I’ve had a few days where baby just moved all day and then I’d hardly feel him. I still have to be sitting or laying pretty still to really notice the movements. But one day this week I looked at my belly when he was kicking and I could actually see my belly move! I think it got lost in the update my computer ate, but DH felt him kick once by surprise. He put his hand on my belly to shield the baby when we were all playing on the floor and he was afraid one of the boys would accidently knock my belly. Well, DH got quite the surprise when baby kicked him! 🙂

 
Baby and maternity buys? I’ve started buying a few more maternity/nursing items. I had almost no summer maternity clothes since I was so small with Tru, and with Levi, I was pregnant during the winter. So, I’ve ordered a few more shirts online to come in next week. I hope they fit! I have bought 1 pair of capris and I’m making do with those and maxi skirts, but ideally, I hope to get a couple more pairs or maxi dresses. I’ve bought lots of nursing bras. I found a bunch on clearance for $2-3.50!! Talk about a bargain! I don’t know how much more the girls are going to grow though… I may have to switch entirely to stretchy sleep bras full-time like I did when I had Levi. I just couldn’t find comfortable nursing bras anywhere over a D. I’m super picky though.

 
Cravings? No use talking about aversions now. 🙂 Thankfully! I’m still hitting the salads almost daily. That’s about the only thing… oh… bean burritos. I love those! 🙂

 
Best moment? This morning I asked Levi “Why is my belly getting so fat?” And he smiled and pointed at it and said “There’s a baby in you body!!” which just melted my heart. I think he actually gets it now. I mean, I’m sure it confuses his little 2 year old self, but he knows there is a baby in there and it’s growing and it kicks my belly. I’m really looking forward to the boys being able to feel the baby but so far, they don’t have the patience to hold their hand there that long.

 

Next appointment? This coming week at 18+3 is the anatomy scan and check up. It’s over 5 weeks between appointments this time but I feel like it went pretty fast! I do want to ask the Dr about the baby’s heartrate. I have recorded a clip for her where it’s skipping beats. I remember the boys both doing that and it resolved, but just to be safe, I want to run that by her since this is happening all the time.

 

I really want to get an update posted about Truett. I decided to stop monthly updates at 3 years old, but I feel like I need to do an annual update or something. This little boy is growing and changing so much all the time and I feel like I’m cheating myself by not writing all his cuteness down. And I need to do a general life update too!

Dear God, thank You for another wonderful week. For how well I’ve felt and for all the kicks and movement I’ve been able to enjoy this week. I pray that this sweet baby will continue to grow and be healthy and strong. I pray that our appointment and ultrasound will go very well. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

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DH keeps cutting these pictures too short so the bottom of my belly is hardly in the shot… must talk to him about that. 😉

Oh my little Levi, how are you already 20 months old?! I mean, I know how it is scientifically possible that 20 months have passed since you were born, but you are almost 2 years old! Already! 

I always thought that Levi was going to be my mellow child who listened well and didn’t pop an attitude. Because I obviously didn’t know my child, at all! This boy is my kid who gives me the worst little pout face and refuses to be serious when I reprimand him. He goes from frowning at me to smiling while I am mid-scentence telling him no. I can’t keep a straight face when he does that! Ha Ha. 😉 But all in all, he really does listen pretty well for a 1 and a half year old. 

And he is smart! So smart. A lot of stuff he knows because he follows Tru around all day and repeats everything he says and tries to do everything Tru can do. They are like peanut butter and jelly from the moment they wake up in the morning until they go to bed. Whichever one wakes up first, they are always running to the other’s bedroom looking for eachother. They do play pretty well but we have a fair amount of fighting over toys and just fighting in general. Levi’s retaliation right now is to bite Tru. Lots of times lately I hear Tru yelling “No bite, baby! No bite me!” and I run to grab Levi away. I’m not sure what to do to get him past this phase. I vaugly remember Tru doing some minor biting but I think it was a short time before he stopped. 

A few days ago we were getting ready to leave the house and I gave the boys their socks to put on. Now, Tru has been able to put on his own socks since before he was a year old. Levi? Not yet. But that’s because we never give him the opportunity to try! He’s not as set on being independent as Tru has always been so he doesn’t fight us helping him with things usually. So, he sat there struggling and Tru just couldn’t handle watching the painstaking process and he tried to help Levi. But Levi started yelling at him and running away with the socks to try again elsewhere. Tru started crying to me that he just wanted to help “baby” and I told him that Levi needed to try on his own. Tru said something like “He’s just a baby! He can’t do it. I can. I’m a big boy!” In that moment I saw the emotions I feel, coming from Tru. It’s hard watching your baby grow up. Sometimes there’s a bit of denial there. Sometimes I just want to freeze these years in time because they are already going so fast. But there is the whole other side where I am just wildly thrilled to watch them growing and learning how to do things on their own. But the most exciting part for me is watching their personalities develop….

And that is the biggest thing with Levi right now. He’s not acting like a baby much at all anymore. He’s becoming a “big boy” and it’s so fun to see! The one babyish habit that Levi hasn’t quite kicked yet is nursing. Lately he goes a day or two without and then decides he needs to check back in for a couple minutes. I can still express a bit of milk if I try. Interestingly, it looks like colostrum again. ?? I tell him no when he says “boob” a lot of the time but I really don’t care to nurse him if we are at home or if he gets hurt or is sad. 

As far as speech goes, Levi says everything he wants to say but usually just 1 or 2 words at a time. Which I guess is probably on track for his age. He gets his point across, that’s for sure! He definitely has a quiet, contemplative side but he also has a really loud voice and he’s not afraid to use it in case you didn’t hear him the first time. 😉 

I think he is starting to call himself by his name sometimes. Or rather Vevi, since that is what Tru calls him a lot. The other day my dad asked Tru “Who is that?” pointing to Levi and Tru said “That’s baby”. My dad said “I thought he had another name. Isn’t his name Vivi?” And Tru said very adamantly “No. His name is VEVI!” We also call him “nugget” quite a bit and I thought I heard Levi call himself nugget once. Poor kid probably doesn’t know his real name! I jest, I jest…. 
One of the most exciting developments recently is that Levi now says “wovou” (love you) and “wovou too”! I think he’s probably been saying it awhile but I didn’t realize that’s what he was trying to say until I told him “mommy loves you” while I had him on the changing table getting him ready for bed and he said “wovou too”. I seriously melted!! He also grabs my face and gives me kisses and hugs and is very loving with Tru also. They kiss each others boo boos and Tru will even cry more if Levi won’t kiss him better. 🙂 

Dear God, what a gift to be watching my Promised Gift learn and grow day by day. I’m so thankful for the joy of being his mother. I pray that You will protect him and watch over him. I pray that You will help us to raise him up to be loving and kind. Respectful and honest. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

This month has been pretty crazy for Levi. The poor kid actually DID break his leg on the slide at the park but it didn’t show up on the first set of xrays. He started walking with a bit of a limp 3 days later and walked for a whole week after that. He even tried to run a few times! He hardly acted like it hurt anymore but I was concerned that his foot was turned inwards a bit and I felt like his limp was getting worse. Then, 10 days after the accident on the slide, he stopped walking and would only crawl. He didn’t want to put any weight on his foot and I could tell it was really hurting again. So the following day (saturday, of course) we took him to a children’s urgent care where they did more xrays and found the break in his lower leg above the ankle. It’s not a bad break and it’s already healing but he still has to get a cast put on for awhile. For now it is in a splint and he isn’t allowed to put weight on it. The splint is bulky and he hates it because he can’t get comfortable but I hope that his leg will stop hurting now while it heals up and he can get back to being his usual active self soon. Why he was able to walk for a week on a broken leg and then suddenly realized it really hurt, I don’t know. He is one tough kid! I really just knew in my gut it was broken all along. The Dr said it isn’t unusual for some types of breaks like his to not show up until a bit after the injury when the bone starts to heal and makes the damage more visible on the xray. So I’m not upset at the first ER for missing it but I am still upset that such a little dude already has had to suffer something as painful as a broken bone. This has definitely taken his energy level down and I was starting to really worry about him since he was acting and looking so exhausted lately.

Prior to all that, Levi had his 15 month check up and looked great. 23 pounds 10 ounces in the 62nd percentile, 32 inches tall in the 78th percentile and I lost the measurement for his head so I don’t know what percentile he is in. Most of his baby chub is gone now and I really really miss it! He definitely slowed wayyyy down in growth physically but I think all his growing power went to his brain because he is so smart! Not trying to brag, he just is. 😉

This month has been a huge boom for Levi’s vocabulary. He now says around 30 words and has an absolutely ADORABLE voice. It’s so fun to hear him start talking and showing that he really pays attention to everything. Current words include: Dada, Mommy (meme), Tru-Tru, woof-woof, River, no, food, cracker, cheese, banana (nana), yogurt (go-ga), cereal, Critter, turtle, chickie, shoe, ba-ba (which means cup), bye, hi, baby, aubrey, horsey (see-see), please (pshh), thank you (choo), tractor, boob, feet, tv (vv). That’s all i can think of for now.

Levi has decided that only babies eat with their hands and he wants to use a fork since he is clearly so grown up! He does really well with a fork and has good coordination picking food up and actually getting it into his mouth most of the time. Mealtimes are somewhat hit and miss but I can usually count on him to do pretty well eating his food. His pickiness is mostly gone now except he still doesn’t like much fruit. I can’t blame him for that though because I don’t like it either. He doesn’t like milk very much which surprises me because he LOVES Enfagrow Toddler Formula in the Natural Milk flavor. Doesn’t make sense but, whatever. 😉 I still offer him milk at least once a day and he will usually take a few sips. Especially if I mix it with a small scoop of Vanilla Pediasure to bribe him with. He also prefers sippy cups over bottles which is funny because of Tru wanting bottles but his baby brother wanting cups. 😉

This little busy man has NO TIME for tv and couldn’t care less about what is on. It comes in so handy to give Tru my phone when we are at appointments and so on as he will sit there perfectly happy watching kids shows. But Levi? Nope! Not a bit. The thing that is funny though is he loves watching videos of himself and/or Truett.

This is long enough and I really just need to get it posted before it’s too late. I am yet to upload all my photos for the last couple months but I’ll try to find a few to include.

Dear God, thank You for all of Your blessings and provisions on us this month and always. Please continue to heal Levi’s leg. Thank You for helping us to figure out what was wrong with it and getting the help to heal it. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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While in Florida. His hair was super curly there the whole time. He's had a haircut since and I miss so many curls even if it was a frizzy mess mostly.

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The 2 boogers that make each other scream by putting their feet on each other in the car.

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Playing with the shovel we finally bought them on the second to last day.

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With his splint after leaving the dr

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Me? Still eating a boob? I don't know what you're talking about!

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Naps with mommy to help heal.

I was beginning to think Levi would not be a self-weaning baby, and I was not so secretly FINE with that. I am in no hurry to wean him yet and he was adamant in his desire to nurse alllll day and had gotten even more attached to the boob in the last month since he learned to ask for it by patting my chest, tugging my shirt and occasionally making a “buh” sound. We are talking, I would be walking through the store pushing the cart and he’s in the seat patting my boob area and crying. (Less weird than it sounds).

Well, suddenly he is not interested. He stopped asking me frequently to nurse and started shaking his head “no” and even making his sound for “no” when I would ask if he wanted to nurse. Usually, I can ask him from another room if he wants a boob and he comes crawling as fast as he can.

This boob rejection started 4 days ago and it’s getting worse. Today I have almost no milk and am hardly feeling let-downs. On the occasions he does ask to nurse, he pops off before any milk even has a chance to come down.

Part of this is probably because he is obsessed with practicing walking! He can walk but chooses to crawl most of the time. He walked from the TV to the couch today which is across the room. He is getting really good at it but he lacks confidence just yet to give up crawling entirely. But he practices all day! Maybe he is letting go of nursing as a way to assert his new-found independence. Or maybe he’s just tired of it. And outgrowing it.

Honestly, I thought he may well be coming up on age 2 and me having to wean him. Instead, he’s doing it on his own. It’s a good thing, but also really hard for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to nurse a baby again and our breastfeeding relationship has been so great. I’ll miss that bonding time terribly!! I savor that time to snuggle Levi and I absolutely love that my body feeds him. I didn’t know if breastfeeding would work for me (us) and I’m so thankful that it did and so sad to see it end. It was hard when Tru weaned but I was pregnant again already so that just made sense. This though, this just feels hard. I know some people might not understand but it’s just the way I feel and that’s that.

My sweet little Levi Shay is 40 weeks old now! How I missed so many weeks of blogging is beyond me. I was fully committed to weekly updates until 1 year but you know, it’s ok. I have been enjoying this “little” guy so much!! He is growing by leaps and bounds. More so in development than in actual physical size. In fact, he seems to have slowed down in his weight gain etc considerably. Which is not surprising given his rather picky eating habits. He is happy to eat teething wafers and puffs but he is only occasionally interested in eating purees. I try to feed him bits and pieces of regular food which he generally loves (especially ground venison, compliments of Daddy and Pap-pap) but it takes him so long to eat it and he drops so much that he doesn’t really take in a ton of food. He does nurse a lot though it seems. I probably nurse him about 8 times a day. He usually eats once in the night and seems positively famished!

Levi surprises me constantly in the way he plays with toys that are for older toddlers like Tru. He is only mildly interested in “baby” toys and always wants to play with Tru and be part of what he is doing. Which of course drives Tru crazy but I think it is good as it is giving them both the opportunity to learn early to both share and respect other peoples belongings. I so love watching them play together. Especially when they are making each other laugh and really interacting by babbling to each other and making eye contact. Tru really watches out for Levi and will tell him “No Vavie!!” when he sees Levi playing with things that he shouldn’t have. I am so thrilled for their brother bond and excited to watch them grow together.

Levi can no longer stand to sleep in our bed. This happened suddenly. He has always loved to sleep with us and slept so well in our bed although we didn’t want him sleeping in our bed. Now though, when he wakes to nurse in the night he just doesn’t sleep well next to me and usually lays there awake and flailing his arms around and shaking his head back and forth and really can’t seem to sleep well again until he is back in his bed. This is really a good thing but it didn’t really bother me to have him in bed with me after that nursing session because then I didn’t have to get him back into his room and it was for a short enough time that I could enjoy the snuggles. I’m glad that he is gaining this independence though. I remember Tru doing the same thing.

He is constantly cruising along the furniture now and can crawl amazingly fast! He LOVES baths. He still loves being held but definitely wants down to explore more now than ever before. I miss when he was little and would lay in my arms for hours perfectly content. But I also love seeing him crawl around and play and grow into a big boy. It’s so fun to see his personality developing! He is charming, a little shy, very goofy, and a huge copycat. I’ve learned lately that he is much smarter than I give him credit for. The other day I was shaking a can of puffs and it was making him crack up laughing. He was holding the can and I would shake it and take my hand away. He kept putting it back in my hand so I would do it again. I didn’t know he could do that sort of thing yet. It was so cute! He decided that he likes pacifiers now since he borrowed one from his cousin. He wouldn’t let it out of his mouth! He is old enough now that I wonder should I let him have one? He uses me as a paci alot and that is both bad and good. His teeth make imprints in my boob so maybe a paci would be good. But then it wouldn’t be long till he would have to give it up again. So maybe it’s better just not to start.

Dear God, thank You for all the new things Levi is doing! Thank You for the great privilege and pleasure of seeing him grow up and for getting to be a part of his learning and development. I pray that I will never fail him as a parent. I pray that I will never fail to teach him all the things he needs me to show him and especially that I will teach him about You and for him to grow to love and serve You all the days of his life. Please guard and protect him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

*Sorry for the lack of pictures. I got a new camera and I haven’t tried to connect it to my computer yet. Maybe soon. The new pictures look great on the camera! 

My sil and I recently decided to start walking together twice a week. This is our second week and it is really fun! We take our 4 kids out in their double strollers and hit the pavement! We try to go early so as to not be falling over from heat stroke during our walks.

The first time, we did 2.25 miles quickly and it was so muggy and I skipped breakfast and I hate to admit it but when we got done, my legs felt weird for a few minutes. Can you say out of shape?! I could barely talk during the walk! The second and third time was much cooler and I did 3 miles and I was fine afterwards so I really want to step it up to a few more miles. I had went by myself once, with my sister once, and with my mom 3 times so this walking thing seems to be my easiest form of attainable exercise .

I’m not so interested in losing weight at the moment, seeing as I’m just a few pounds from my goal weight and I’m afraid my milk supply will vanish with the pounds. I’m also afraid to overdo it because I know that could lower my supply on top of causing other problems but I really feel pretty safe with just walking. Although, those double strollers are heavy! My main goals are to get in shape and tone up the flab ab. 😉 I have another friend who said she would meet up for walks so maybe this could be a great opportunity to hang out some fellow moms for an hour or so, and get some of the health benefits of exercise, albeit very light.

Long-time readers may remember this post that I wrote when Tru was about 5 months old I think. At that point I had lost a lot of hair and had some very thin patches but I think I’ve got worse patches this time.

It started falling out around 3+ months pp and I now have some pretty bad hair days going on. It’s kind of embarrassing. I’m used to having thick, healthy hair even if I do practically nothing to style it. Now? Well, it’s neither thick nor pretty.

I really hate to complain though. If this is what it takes to have a cute baby snuggling me right now then so be it. Also, it is the heat of summer right now so this could be seen as a good thing. Right? But mostly, I know it eventually stopped after Tru got older, HOWEVER, it didn’t stop completely until I was several weeks pregnant with Levi. So….hopefully it will stop soon regardless of if I get pregnant again (lol! I still realize I have zero say so in making that happen – but that’s another post for another time) or not.

image

Because THIS is not pretty. (But Levi's baby head is cute 😉 )

Since I am already a size larger at 27 weeks than I was at full term with Truett, I am looking for help finding a good, comfortable nursing bra. I have bought the largest size that is available in the brand I like. I am needing a bra extender on the 38D and the cups are already at capacity. I had the hardest time finding a nursing bra that didn’t cut my circulation off and hurt my boobies while I was in those first few months of engorgement after having Tru. I ended up going without a bra at home which was actually not comfortable at all but the bras I tried all smashed my boobs and left me in dire pain, in danger of blocked ducts and with extremely sweaty boobies from being way to confined. (EWWW!) There was no winning. I just had to wait till my boobs shrank back down and suffer every time I was in public. I am not ashamed to admit that more than once in public I put on a sweatshirt and opened the nursing cups to let the ladies have some freedom and air.

 

So, after that lengthy explanation, I am simply interested to hear what worked for other mommies. I expect to get quite a bit larger if I experience engorgement again. So I am definitely looking at bigger sizes like 38-40DD and DDD. I know I was bigger than a DD after having Tru, but like I said, I never found a bra that fit. I am not a fan of sports bra styles but I would be open to trying them out. I would also give non-nursing bras a shot in a pinch if they are really comfortable.

 

Thank you in advance for any and all suggestions!! 🙂

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