I debated sharing this in light of my recent post about making friends. I don’t want you all to think I’m a total weirdo. But I do like to be honest here, so here goes…

After the vast majority of social functions/parties etc, I find myself going over the conversations that I’ve had that day and analyzing the things I said. Did that person take what I said the right way? Did it come out wrong when I said that? Did I hurt their feelings? Could they have taken that the wrong way? …and on and on and on. It’s quite exhausting actually in that I often lose sleep over things, laying awake at night wondering if I said the wrong thing and now someone is going to think I’m weird (hello!) or that I’ve hurt them somehow. I find myself occasionally just pulling out of conversations because I’m too uncomfortable about the topic and I just know I’ll end up saying something that will come out wrong. 

For example: I have several relatives who are dealing with primary infertility and I never have an interaction with them where I’m not panicking afterwards about whether I’ve accidentally hurt their feelings or if they felt I was grateful enough for my kids etc. It’s so hard! We were all dealing with infertility at the same time. Now I have biological kids. One of them has adopted a child and another is in the process of adopting. This makes me hugely excited for them but I know that in the joy of adoption, they still long for the experience of pregnancy and birth. I don’t know the balance of excitement but also support for the emotional side. And I also lack the finer etiquette on adoption lingo. I KNOW that these girls don’t hold it against me if I accidentally say something that isn’t PC about adoption etc. But the less rational side of my brain spends the entire rest of the day panicking that they’ve taken something the wrong way and I’ve hurt them. 
I worry about my interactions with my in-laws to a ridiculous extent. I ALWAYS assume I’ve said something stupid and upset them. I worry if I haven’t been 100% positive about DH etc that they will take it personally since he is their child/brother/nephew etc…. Ugh!

So, is it just me laying awake at night going over every conversation and wishing I’d worded something differently or just not talked at all?