Last weekend we were at a Christmas party and the boys were given little containers of skittles and m&ms. Levi dropped a couple, as toddlers do and I picked them up and put them back in his container. *GASP* Honestly, I didn’t really think anything of it. 5 second rule, blah blahs blah…. But I did get the sense that I had just done something horribly wrong given the vibe in the air from the nearby friends. A few minutes later, Levi dropped a few more candies and the ladies who were nearby quickly scooped them up saying to Levi “These fell on the floor. They’re dirty! I’ll throw them away.” 

Ok, let’s get one thing straight here. I’m completely elated to know that these friends care so much about the health and well-being of my kiddos that they are watching out for them. That actually just makes me really really happy. I’m quite touched! 

However, (!!!) I felt like a crumb – like a crumb of a turd, (the type that could be found on the floor perhaps?) for being such a gross parent as to just nonchalantly feed my child floor-candy without even giving thought to it. 

Seriously, these boys have eaten way grosser things before I could stop them, unfortunately. As babies/toddlers do. At least mine do. Maybe your unicorn baby never tried to taste sand … or lady bugs. Not that I’m going out of my way to expose them to germs but don’t you have to be exposed to some germs to build your immune system? “God made dirt, dirt don’t hurt.” Anyone? 

To be clear here, I’m not at home just throwing down their dinner on the floor “Come an git it boys! Sups on the floor. Jump in there River! Go fer it.” But I kinda might as well… I mean, toddlers are constantly eating questionable crumbs they find – it’s kind of what they do. And if your floor is so clean that your kid never finds a crumb, well, you can just leave! (Napoleon) Get out. Bye!!

 Also, just the other day I caught Levi giving River a bite of his dinner roll and proceeding to try to continue eating it himself. Cute, but gross. 

And one more thing to clarify. I would never feed my kids something that I wouldn’t eat. I’d gladly eat those m&ms off the floor myself. I guess I’m just gross like that. 
*The irony is that Tru threw up the next day but the floor-candy eater stayed healthy.*

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