..And I’m not at all proud of it. DH and I made a quick stop at the store the other day to pick up water and an SD card for my camera. As soon as we entered the store, Tru had a full on meltdown because he didn’t want to sit in the cart. I had to run to the bathroom so I told DH I would meet him and the kids at the back of the store. I could hear Tru screaming at least half way through the store. I was not happy to say the least. He throws a fit almost every time we enter a store! Then again, he’s 2…

So, I headed to the back to grab the SD card (which I usually buy online) but instead of just picking one up, I found them in a locked case. No big deal. There was an associate at the photo counter, I would just ask them to help me.

I walked up to the counter and the associate was working on something. Again, no big deal. I could wait. So I waited. And waited. And waited. DH came and found me, Tru now content riding on the back of the cart… yikes!

We all stood there and waited. I really don’t know how long it was. It could have been as long as 10 minutes all together. The associate never paused what they were doing to come unlock the case. I could feel my anger seething. We needed to leave! Why was the associate not helping me? Finally I said loud enough for the other customers standing nearby to hear, and probably the associate too, “Well that’s enough of that!!!” and stormed off quickly in a huff. I ran off so fast that DH couldn’t even get the cart turned around fast enough to catch up with me.

I stormed through the craft section picking out things for my niece’s  birthday still bubbling with anger. DH finally found me towards the front of the store. I was still very angry and I said over and over again, loudly, that “I am never shopping here again! The associates are always rude! The wait is always ridiculous!” The other shoppers around us were eyeing me like I was a crazy lady. I don’t blame them. Looking back, I’m embarrassed. 

We finally paid for our purchases and left the store. I began to feel more and more like a fool. Did anyone I encountered there feel the love of Jesus? No. Did I have a right to be upset? In the scheme of things, not really. So many people are suffering true atrocities, I was just waiting a few minutes. Could anyone who saw me have even guessed that I am a Christian? No way! Is that the kind of person I want to be? Who I want to raise my kids to be? No. I want my kids to know when to keep their cool and to only be angry about things that are really worth being upset about. Is my time more valuable than the souls of those I’m around? More valuable than their feelings? Absolutely not!

I can never apologize to those people for my attitude. I have a responsibility to be a light in a dark world. There is plenty of anger to go around, I should have been spreading love and joy. So, I apologize here.