A rumble of thunder sounded throughout the house and Truett came running out of his bedroom with a curious look on his face. “Thunder!” I told him. He went to look out the window. A few minutes later the rain started and Tru stood there a long while watching the rain fall. “Rain!!” He kept repeating. He was so taken by the rain falling and so content just to watch it. It made me stop and think, why does it take so much to entertain us? Me. How many times have I sat down to watch a movie while simultaneously texting a friend and snuggling up to DH while maybe even eating popcorn, not enjoying any of those things fully? Or how many times have I been nursing or rocking one of my sweet babies while also browsing Fakebook (which I don’t even LIKE) instead of just soaking up the soft sweetness of my babies without distraction? You see, it takes a lot to entertain me. Over the years I have become increasingly dulled to what is going on around me and like a crack addict needing a larger amount of drug to get a fix, it takes more and more noise, technology etc to keep my attention.

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I used to be like Tru – I remember watching the rain fall out the window and it kept my attention and didn’t leave me feeling bored. It was enough. And I realize now that the more things I throw in the mix, the less I am enjoying any ONE thing. The worst part about this is, I’m afraid that I’m really missing out on the things that matter. Fakebook – doesn’t matter. TV shows – don’t matter. Time with my husband does matter. Time with my babies where I’m really zoning in matters. Time with God – that’s the big one – that matters.

It’s not like I’m just now realizing this. I’ve known it for awhile and I have taken steps to address this. I have done media fasts many times. Usually I will not check blogs or Fakebook at all during the day, at least not until evening. Those days usually go better. Not that I’m saying I need to give up blogs ect entirely (although I think we will be giving up Fakebook since neither DH or I like it at all) but definitely feeling the need to cut back significantly.

Is it really fair to the babies to be so distracted as a parent that they constantly have to work to get my attention. I wonder if this could be the cause of some tantrums, maybe Tru feels like he has to scream to really get my full, undivided, undistracted attention. I know how much I hate it when I’m around friends and the whole time we are hanging out they keep checking their phone and answering texts and laughing about stuff online that I can’t see. It makes me feel like they don’t want to hang out and I’m wondering why they are even with me. Maybe that’s how my babies feel when I am scrolling through the internet while they are laughing and babbling in baby jibber-jabber. What they are saying is important and it matters! It matters to me.

I enjoy reading blogs and communicating with other people and mothers and I’m not going to be a social hermit but I do think I can stand to cut back some and get back to enjoying simpler things. Because this…..

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This matters.

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