I’m going to post this without pictures for now but I will try to post them asap when I get them from my sister.Β 

Here it is. The story you have all been waiting for! πŸ˜‰ I have wanted to write this down for days but I haven’t had the time. Here we are, Levi is already one week old today and so much has happened. I doubt I will get all the times that things happened exactly right but it’s close enough. This is going to be very blow by blow and extremely gross at times so feel free to skip and jump around. I also want to say that DH’s part in this whole labor and birth just doesn’t come through in this story the way it was in real life. He was so there for me the whole time. Helping me to the bathroom every hour, pushing the IV stand around, rubbing my back, doing counter-pressure, and keeping me in good spirits the whole time. He prayed for me and I felt so calm and relaxed whenever it was just him and me in the room, him helping me work through the contractions. Up until transition, I never had any contractions that were worse than my periods have been for the majority of my life, which proves how awful my endometriosis pain was. I kept waiting for them to get unbearable but they never did until after my water broke. It was a beautiful labor in my opinion. πŸ™‚

 

I woke up Thursday morning the 19th and weighed myself one last pregnant time. I was almost exactly 165 making my weight gain 35 pounds. I liked that it was a nice even number. πŸ™‚ I got up around 9am because I couldn’t sleep anymore. My sister had spent the night and gotten up with Tru so I could sleep in. She helped me all day with getting things ready that HAD to be done before I could possibly imagine heading to the hospital. πŸ˜‰

 

DH came home from work 2 hours early and we went to take a nap for a few hours. I probably slept all of 45 minutes but I felt refreshed. I was pretty nervous about how the labor would go and very afraid of the pain I would be experiencing later whether it was from labor and delivery or from a giant incision.

 

I fixed us a nice healthy supper and we finished packing all the last minute items. My mom came over for a bit and my sisters swapped out on watching Tru for the night that way 2 of my sisters could come to the birth. I put Tru to bed at 9pm but he knew something was up and just cried and cried while I curled my hair so when I got done, I got him out of bed and snuggled him and let him play until it was time to leave at 11pm. He got upset when he saw we were leaving so DH went outside and I pretended I was staying and put him to bed. When I walked out through the rain to the truck to leave, it felt so surreal. I asked DH, “Is this really real? Are we really on our way to have our 2nd baby? Is this really my life?” I was so excited and scared out of my mind about the labor and delivery.

 

We got to the hospital around 12:30am (March 20th) and got checked in. I was contracting pretty often but not in actual labor. I had 2 acupressure sessions and a membrane stripping in the last few days leading up to the induction and I think I had started to have some prodromal labor as my contractions felt more business-like. After getting one vein blown out, I had my IV in and the resident Dr came in to check my cervix. I’m not sure but I think I was still 1cm and 70-80% effaced. She put in the Foley Bulb which was uncomfortable but HSGs and SISs hurt a lot worse so I was fine getting it placed. It made me cramp a lot afterwards. That was at 2am. At the same time the pitocin was started at a 3 which is quite low and the first contraction hurt! From there on I was unable to talk during my contractions and just had to breathe through them, blowing and groaning in a very deep voice. I was out of the bed by the second contraction and had NO desire to get back in. I spent the rest of the night pacing back and forth, bouncing on the ball, sitting on the edge of the bed leaning over the bed tray, swaying my hips, rocking in the rocking chair, leaning on DH, kneeling, squatting and on all fours…. basically, I never sat still. By 3:40am, my contractions were 1-1.5 minutes apart and I was not getting enough break in between to recover from the contractions. I asked the nurse if we could turn off the pitocin as I was shivering and shaking from the pain. She got the ok from the Dr and turned it off and gave me a bolus of IV fluid to try to flush the pitocin through and space the contractions out a little. After a couple hours, my contractions were still coming every 2-3 minutes and staying nice and strong. DH took a little hour and a half nap and I worked through the contractions as best as I could. Everyone kept offering me the epidural right away since I was getting the line placed later anyways but I really wanted to get it put in later on. It was so annoying that I felt super pressured to get it right away.

 

At 6am the resident came in and checked me and said I had thinned out more but the bulb was still in tight (it is supposed to fall out, usually around 4cm). I tried not to get discouraged. I noticed my contractions slowed down more if I was sitting too long but I was so exhausted, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to stay awake much longer. I was pacing and doing a bit of nip stim if the contractions went longer than 3 minutes between. I started to fall asleep in between the contractions while sitting on the ball. A new nurse came on shift (I loved my overnight nurse and the new nurse – they were absolutely wonderful.) and said that I should take a nap to regain some energy. I told her I was afraid to because that could stall out my contractions and I would have to restart pitocin which I now saw as the devil because of the awful contractions it had given me earlier. She said she would be willing to let me try to restart the contractions naturally if they did stall out so at 8am I laid down and slept in between the contractions which spaced out to maybe 5 minutes apart but stayed consistent. At 8:30am, my Dr came in and said they would check me at 10am. I was so excited that I was in labor still on my own without the pitocin that I excitedly told her so. MISTAKE!! She freaked out on me and said I needed the pitocin on (I had been laboring for almost 5 hours on my own at that point) and that I needed to be committed to a vbac or I was going to get a c section. She said I had to get the epidural placed NOW and I was risking general anesthesia. It was all quite ridiculous. I found what she said to be very threatening and upsetting. My nurse came in as soon as the Dr left and at that point, I was ready to pull out my IV and leave the place and labor on my own elsewhere and come back when I was ready to push. The nurse found the idea of restarting the pitocin to be very unnecessary told the Dr so. She said this was a battle we would be fighting all day. Apparently this Dr has a reputation of being very pushy and manipulative. I saw this in overdrive all throughout the day. The nurse said that I should try to walk the halls and see if I could progress in dilation. She didn’t care how far apart my contractions were just so long as I made progress. She also said I should just get the epidural line placed now to shut the Dr up. So I set out walking the halls with DH pushing the IV stand and telemetry monitor along behind me. I was SO thankful that they had the telemetry monitor so that I could walk and not get stuck in bed! It was actually kind of fun walking the halls, passing the other couple who was there doing the same thing.

 

At some point I got the epidural line placed. I forget exactly when. The anesthesiologist was very confused as to why I was getting a line but no meds since I was contracting. I guess he hadn’t seen that happen basically ever. It left me with a weird discomfort in my left butt cheek and made it more uncomfortable to walk. I was mad about it at the time but later I was glad I had it placed when I did.

 

Around 10am, a resident Dr came in to check me and remove the bulb. She asked if we cared to guess how far dilated I was and since the bulb didn’t fall out, I said maybe 4. She said to take 4 and double it because I was at 8cm already! And plus 1 station. I couldn’t believe it! I had been in labor only 8 hours and had yet to have any unbearable pain. I started losing the mucus plug in great wads after that. I stayed in my room because I was afraid I would break my water in the halls. I just kept doing what I had done all night to cope with the pain. I was on a labor high and so thrilled!! πŸ™‚

 

Around 1pm I think, the Dr came in and wanted to break my water. I argued with her for at least 15 minutes about it. I didn’t want my water broken despite the fact that I had made no more progress because I was afraid the baby would go into distress without the cushion, I wouldn’t progress even after my water was broken and would then be “on the clock”,Β andΒ I would be in so much more pain after the water breaking (“Get an EPIDURAL!!!” they kept saying). In the end I gave in because the Dr said she would call c section if I didn’t get it broken and failed to make any more progress in 1 hour. She literally said that she would call a c section and not allow me to labor another hour. I am pretty sure that is illegal and she couldn’t literally force me to have a c section, but I was in pain and tired and getting more and more upset. (I noticed that the madder I got, the farther apart my contractions would get.) So she broke my water and it shot out of there like a cannon. It was actually kind of funny looking back but at the time, I just bursted out crying and cried and cried in anger. I went into transition immediately and it was horrible! I was in transition for a whole hour in the worst pain I could imagine. My mom and sisters arrived right after my water was broken and they and DH tried to help me cope but my arms, legs and face all went numb from the pain. I was shaking uncontrollably and shivering even though I wasn’t cold. When I would open my eyes, the room was going dark. The nurse finally checked me an hour later I guess around 2pm and I had made no more progress. Still at 8 and 0 station. At that point I said that I had to get relief and my mom told them I wanted the smallest dose of epidural possible. At that point, I thought I wanted the whole thing but my mom and the nurse knew better than to let me have it because they knew that wasn’t what I really wanted. I wanted to be able to move. My MIL and SIL showed up right about that time.

 

After getting the shot of epidural, I was sure it hadn’t worked because I wasn’t feeling any relief and I wanted more but the nurse said to wait 15 minutes so I did. I eventually felt some of the intensity fading but I felt no numbing. I was still getting on my hands and knees and blowing through the contractions. DH was rubbing my back and doing counter-pressure and I could feel just the slightest numbness in my back but nowhere else. I kept getting pressure all throughout this time that felt kind of pushy but it always felt like it was sucking back in. I tried to describe it to the nurse but all I could say was that it was sucking back in, I couldn’t really describe it and I still can’t. I wasn’t allowed out of bed (I could have walked no problem, I don’t know why I wasn’t allowed) Β but I really had to pee. I didn’t want the nurse to cath me so my mom, bless her heart, brought me a container and I just knelt down and used it so we could comply with the rules of me not walking.

 

At 4pm, the Dr came back in and checked me again. Guess what? No progress. Also, they were not picking up my contractions anymore. We will never know what happened because the contractions were still coming but they were not on the monitor after that point. The Dr said I had to restart pitocin (her anthem) but I absolutely refused. She said we would do the lowest dose but I still refused. I was not going to make these contractions any stronger. I didn’t want to rupture and I didn’t want the baby to be distressed. I believed he was not coming down because he felt slightly posterior to me. I kept feeling him move his shoulder right above my pubic bone like he was trying to turn to face my back. The Dr never confirmed this but the nurse said I should lay on my left side if that is what I thought was going on. She knew I had been on all 4 for hours. She also told the Dr that she was feeling my belly during contractions and I was still having them regularly. The Dr was very upset and said she was going to some department (I forget who) and telling them that I was refusing to do what she said and that she would not be liable when I ended up with a c section and something went wrong. She ranted about it for no less than 15 minutes arguing with my mom because I closed my eyes and refused to argue about it. She said I had 1 hour or I WOULD be getting a c section. (Ironic how her 5pm deadline coincided with the 5:30pm c section she had scheduled for someone else.)

 

The nurse said that my baby may be getting neurological damage from being pushed against the pelvis for so long. I was so confused as to how making my contractions stronger with pitocin was supposed to help that so I blocked out what she was saying and just laid on my left side doing my thing. I think that is a terrible thing to tell a laboring mother, especially when I had been in labor only 14 hours. A lot of pressuring, manipulating and threatening happened that day. It was extremely stressful for me. I hated it. My MIL gathered everyone together and they all stood around me laying hands on me and praying. This is when things changed instantly.

 

At about 4:30, I told the nurse that I no longer felt a little pushy, my body was pushing for me and I couldn’t help it. It had been only a half hour since I had been checked at 8cm, not fully effaced and 0 station. But I was pushing like it or not. The nurse checked me and I was complete except for an anterior lip. She called in the Dr who could apparently not believe I was already pushing. She checked me and tried to move the lip but I told her to get her hand out of me and stop putting it in there. She tried to move it again and I about lost my mind on her. I just kept pushing while the nurse, Dr and resident coached me. The resident is lucky I didn’t kick her in the face because I have seriously never met a more annoying person. My contractions were only long enough for 2 pushes and she wanted 3. She kept saying I was doing it wrong and trying to make me push again. After every contraction I had to keep saying “It’s gone” to get her to stop yelling to push. The nurse was awesome at this point though. And the Dr was singing a different tune too. DH stood by my head praying and rubbing my arm and telling me he could see the head. The baby’s head was there the whole time, I just took my sweet time pushing him out. I have to be really gross here (because I can’t stand it when I read birth stories and the poop is edited out – come on – you know you pooped) and say that the Dr told me “I see nice stool coming out! You are pushing great!” Thank you. Just really, thank you. My sister stood at my head making me keep my chin to my chest. Every time I was tempted to throw my head back, she would break my collar bone shoving it forward. I owe her a lot for that because it really makes a difference and it’s hard to remember to keep chin to chest. My other sister video recorded the birth. I pushed for 30-35 minutes until I finally got brave enough to just push past the burning to get his head out. Actually, the pushing didn’t hurt. Only the ring of fire when the head was actually pushing through hurt. That was the worst pain EVER! The pushing contractions didn’t hurt though. Every time I would get his head almost out, I would either lose the contraction or just not give it every single bit of strength I had and it would slip back in. At 5:05pm, I finally gave 2 or 3 horrendous pushes and felt the most intense relief I have felt in my life as the Dr handed the baby to me. It was so amazing!!!!

 

The rush to deliver the placenta was on even though I was literally begging the Dr to let my body do it in it’s own time. She kept pulling on the cord and telling me to push. I tried to push but there was nothing TO push – yet. I also asked for the cord to stop pulsing but instead she just shoved the blood up it with her hands. Which ended up being ok because they had to take the baby since he decided he didn’t want to breathe after all. His apgars were 5 and 9. He pinked up quickly after the nurses rubbed him down.

 

But back to the placenta, all that tugging is what I believe made it tear. I finally did feel like pushing it out and I did but by then I had retained placenta and started hemorrhaging. I could feel myself going weak and I asked for the epidural. I was given another small dose. I could still feel pain but it was dulled. I could not recommend this more! If you have to get your uterus scrapped out multiple times with Dr’s whole hand scooping around in there, I can tell you, the pain is insane. The Dr said she thought I had accreta and we may need a hysterectomy. I freaked out and was asking her what we could save. I wanted my cervix still! She calmed me down quickly by getting an ultrasound and verifying the retained placenta was gone. Thank God!! Then she checked that my scar hadn’t ruptured because I was still hemorrhaging. That was all good too thankfully. She ordered me 40 whatever it is of pitocin which I was happy to have at that point. The nurse messed up and gave me 60 but it was all good. I got to have 3 lovely cytotec suppositories and 2 gels but finally I stopped bleeding so much. I was crying though because I had worked so hard for my vbac and I only got to hold my baby for a few seconds and I laid there getting stitched up for 45 minutes. (Oh yes, there was tearing.) I was too weak to hold the baby once I was allowed to again so my mom sat there and helped me keep him on my chest. My arms were too weak to hold onto him at all. But I did get to breast feed him with help. So our beautiful moment was redeemed. πŸ™‚ In a couple hours, I regained some strength and could lay more propped up to hold him. He is absolutely beautiful and I love him so much. I am so glad that I got that time with him on my chest.

 

I think this is long enough. I have more to say about our hospital stay (which was interesting to say the least and much longer than we anticipated) but the important thing is, we are doing well. And believe it or not, I loved my labor and birth. I wish there hadn’t been so much manipulation but all in all, bonding with DH, being in that zone, getting to have the vbac – it was all perfect in the end and I wouldn’t change a thing. πŸ™‚ God is good.

 

Dear God, thank You SO much for giving me the exact birth You wanted and for keeping us safe all through the labor and birth. Thank You so much for Your protection and love throughout everything. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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