I’ve had this sitting in my Drafts for awhile now. I’ve been hesitant to post it because I just don’t want to offend anyone and I’m worried that somehow something I wrote may come off wrong. Please know that if anything said here is offensive in the least, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not the best at communicating through the written word.  

 

I’ve thought about it a lot recently. You know how whenever you talk to someone who knows absolutely nothing about infertility and they say stuff like: “I bet if you get pregnant with IVF, then the next time you will get pregnant naturally” or: “I bet now that you have gotten pregnant once with IVF, you will get pregnant naturally”? Well, you know how that makes your blood kind of boil because it’s like they are giving you false hope and it just seems cruel and what’s so hard about understanding that infertility is more than just some kind of imaginary “clogged uterus” disease?

 

Several months ago I had my sister over to help watch Tru while I did some cleaning one day and while she was with me I lectured her for, oh boy, a long time… about how mad I get when people tell me stuff like that. “If I can accept that I will never get pregnant naturally then why can’t they? Why does every body think they need to tell me that I might get pregnant without IVF when we know full and medically documented well that it just isn’t possible without a miracle?!” About 4 days later I got a positive pregnancy test. When my sister heard the news she said in her most snarky voice, eyebrows raised: “I thought you said it was IMPOSSIBLE!” I have her on video saying that and I will always treasure it. I felt a little stupid to say the least. Stupid in the happiest way!

 

I can’t tell you how blessed and grateful I feel to be carrying this little surprise. He came along at the perfect time. He is SO wanted and SOOO loved. I know that not everyone gets to be pregnant easily and without trying after all the trials that we had previously. I know just how special this pregnancy is and please believe me that I am not taking a minute of it for granted.

 

The Drs and nurses keep telling me that this happens all the time; (which I know that it doesn’t really happen that often, but they do seem to see it a fair amount) that a couple will do IVF for their first baby(s) and then have a surprise pregnancy. Of course according to them, these surprise pregnancies can all be attributed to the fact that the couple has finally “just relaxed” and “stopped thinking about it”. I am always reminded in my mind about just how stressful that second IVF cycle was that I conceived Tru during, and I am sure that if stress was going to keep a woman from getting pregnant, that would have been the time. I see their point but I disagree.

 

I don’t know why these surprise spontaneous pregnancies occur other than maybe it’s just a little extra present from God. I don’t know any other way to put it. I just know that I am beyond grateful for this little surprise baby, this little gift from God, our miracle. I also know that I firmly believe that Truett, conceived by IVF, is also my little miracle baby. Our first little gift from God. (Even his name means true gift of God.) I DO know that I was certainly never really expecting a natural conception to happen after all it took to get Tru here. I had started to have a little glimmer of hope. I don’t even know where it came from other than it being a tiny peek into the future, I just started feeling like I would get pregnant again and that it might even be natural. I had prayed maybe a day or two before I found out I was pregnant with this baby that if God wanted it to happen naturally, I knew He could make it happen and that if He wanted it be IVF again, that was fine too.

 

I said all that to say that I just didn’t know I would be “that lady” one day. The one who gets pregnant naturally after trying for years. The one that every body always tells you about and it makes you so mad to hear about her because you just know that will never be you – and then one day it was me! It still feels so surreal!! A baby got inside me without me having dates with the dildo cam, three times a week blood draws, twice daily hormone injections, hamster ovarian cells injected to trigger ovulation, anesthesia to remove my eggs, days of worrying about my babies almost 2 hours away from me in a petri dish, valium and a date with the Dr to put my babies back inside me, a picture of my baby as an embryo… it’s so crazy to think that this whole thing happened naturally this time.

 

I cherish my story of what it took to bring Truett to us. That was a journey of a thousand miles and worth every step. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. It is precious to look back on and see what we came through and how very worth it everything ended up being. I also cherish this new experience. Memories of a romantic evening with no thought given to ovulation or timing things. Just me and DH being in love. (Ok, I’m blushing now… I can talk about carrying around specimen cups of you-know-what no problem but talking about a little lovemaking and I go all shy.;))

 

I very vividly remember a girl at our church telling us how she had tried for 8 years to get pregnant and she finally did naturally. I thought to myself “That would never happen to me.” Didn’t know on that day that I was just barely pregnant already. So… I don’t want to offer false hope. I would never tell you to give up on ART and just go at it au natural. I believe that IUI and IVF etc are all very necessary  to bring about babies for so many of us and I’m thankful that they exist and that I have a little miracle IVF baby.  But, I will say that you just never know….

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