Yesterday I wrote an exceptionally whiny post. I took it down after a few hours. I apologize if you read it’s ranty boringness. In case you missed it (I sincerely hope you did) the jist of it was pretty much that

1). I want to do IVF again (barring any incredible natural conception) at some point either at the end of this year or beginning of next.

2). My IVF meds from last cycle used so much of my insurance benefit (if I had realized they were using so much of it, I wouldn’t have bought them through my insurance) that I have very little left. Not enough for another IVF including meds. Possibly (but we don’t know for sure because there is a discrepancy in the insurance system) enough for 1 cycle (egg retrieval) or close to 1 cycle which I do realize is far and away more than many of you have covered. And to be clear, I am very thankful for any amount that is covered! Even though it’s still pricey with insurance, (they have jacked the co-pay now from what I gathered but I could be wrong – I hope I’m wrong) it’s still a few thousand cheaper than being self pay. But my meds will absolutely definitely not be covered by my insurance. And they are QUITE expensive.

3). I don’t know if DH will still be at his current job by the time we are ready to try again anyway so all this might be neither here nor there anyway.

After a few calls, this is my tentative, extremely subjective plan….

1). Get my insurance to figure out who is right about the amount of benefit I have left. If it’s seriously enough for only 1 Gonal-f pen and half an Ovidrel like one person told me, then I guess we will be back to square one. If it is actually enough for close to one cycle (and by cycle, I mean egg retrieval) then I will try my best to save up over the next 7 months for the rest of the money that I would need.

2). I filled out paper work for Compassionate Care and First Steps. My clinic told me that they recommend doing this if meds are not covered as the Compassionate Care and First Steps programs offer some kind of benefit towards meds. The financial counsellor e-mailed me the forms today and I filled them out. The CCP is good for a year after applying so we have plenty of time.

3). I realize that I probably sound greedy and selfish wanting to try for another baby fairly soon, but I always wanted my children to be close together. Most importantly I feel like if we actually do have a chance to do IVF again and have it be covered or almost covered (saving us quite a bit of money!) then we might as well take it versus just not trying ever again. I know that I want more children. However, I have made up my mind to be happy with just Tru because I do realize that my fertility is not good and that I am extremely blessed to even have my one precious little miracle!!! But I really never intended for my family to stop growing here. At least if I try again and it doesn’t work, I will know that I didn’t just throw away a potential chance to give Truett a sibling. I feel like I need to try.

4). Above everything else, I know that God will work it out if it is His will for us to have another baby. I realize that by trying again we are not guaranteed another pregnancy or another healthy take home baby. But I do know that God will work it all out according to His will and that if He wants us to try again in another 8 months or so, He will make a way for us to try. Even if by trying I still don’t get pregnant again. Although I really hope I do.

So that is that. That is where I am at with the whole thing. Waiting to hear back about how much my meds would cost, how much benefit I have remaining and waiting to see if DH will still be at his current job (with the insurance) by the time we want to try again. In the meantime, I am going to stop thinking about it – or try to stop anyway – and just enjoy the summer and Truett. πŸ™‚

Advertisements