I don’t mean this post to be offensive to anyone although I’m sure it could be taken that way. It just seems like Mother’s Day causes so much pain for so many people, why do we even celebrate it? Or Father’s Day for that matter? 

These holidays cause so much sadness for those who have lost their parents. I mean, HUGE reminder every year about that. And for infertiles, it’s pretty much like getting a punch in the ovaries AND a simultaneous kick in the face. I remember past Mother’s Days. Vividly. How fun. At church, they always give out flowers to the mothers and would say “You can take one too journeyformybaby! You’re a woman too.” You could see the looks of sympathy on their faces. It was terrible. One dear sweet old lady even gave DH $20 one Mother’s Day and said to take his wife out. I know with all my heart that she felt so terribly sorry for me and was trying her very best to make me feel special and loved. It did soothe the pain a bit to know that she cared so much. But sitting in a crowded restaurant on Mother’s Day with babies and children all around you is TORTURE when you are infertile. Taking my mom out was kind of horrifying for some reason. It made me feel guilty. I wanted to celebrate my parents but it was just such a blaring reminder of how much I was missing out on. 

I understand that people just want to celebrate parents and all they do for us, because parents really are a gift and it’s such a blessing to have parents. Without parents, I wouldn’t be here. And neither would any of you. But why can’t we just show our parents we love them all year instead of creating 2 huge, money-making holidays to throw it in everyone’s face who has lost their parents or who doesn’t have kids because they just CAN’T?!?!?!?! There’s no need for all this pain. People always whine at Valentine’s Day about how unfair that holiday is to people who don’t have a valentine. That’s another painful and annoying holiday.

Can we just stick to the safe holidays? President’s Day seems pretty safe – I would have a bbq for it I guess. Labor Day could be painful I suppose if you have to work that day. Thanksgiving seems fairly safe because it forces people to be thankful even when they don’t feel like it. Plus there’s food. I mean, that makes it better right? Easter? It could go either way. Depends on if you celebrate it as Easter (bunnies, candy, egg hunts involving kids…) or as Resurrection Sunday (my preference. Celebrating the day my Saviour rose from the grave and conquered death). Christmas? I think we all know how painful that holiday is for infertiles. If it’s santa bringing toys to all the good girls and boys it’s obviously going to bring up sadness. If it’s the birth of Christ, it is of course joyous and miraculous. Such a beautiful holiday. But it can still be a painful reminder. 

 

There’s no point to this post. Sorry that you just read a pointless post. I guess I am just frustrated with the aproaching of this holiday because I know it will be bringing pain to many people. I never would have thought of it that way if it hadn’t brought pain to me.

Last year, I spent my first Mother’s Day with a tiny baby growing inside me. It was the first year in awhile that I felt any joy on that holiday. But it’s hard to feel joy in this holiday for myself when I clearly remember the pain from previous years and the pain that countless people all around me are suffering. I wish each of you the best as you celebrate this holiday. And maybe go check out this post if you want to read something a little more encouraging. 🙂

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